“Okay.” Allison said, knowing that she had been hoping for too much too soon.
Seeing her dejected face, Nate couldn’t help but put his arm around her and giving her a gentle squeeze. He said, “Don’t worry I’ll figure it out. I’m a very good detective.”
Allison gave him the best smile she could muster, then said, “I know I’m being impatient but it’s just hard.” She wanted to add, especially not knowing if I can go with my attraction to you or not.
Nate went back to work after lunch, which left Allison on her own, instead of hovering over his shoulder, she decided it was time to pay a visit to Cinthia, who was home working on wedding preparations and would probably love some company. It always made Allison feel better when she spent time with Cinthia.
For several days, life followed the same pattern, riding in the morning and afternoons spent with the family, which was growing larger and larger as the big day approached. She and Nate had been enjoying the quiet of the east wing alone, but as family arrived, the bedrooms quickly began to fill up. They had begun the habit of sneaking off to the sunroom after dinner, using the excuse that Nate needed to fill her in on the progress of his investigation, but the truth was Nate realized Allison needed some quiet time.
They were sitting by the fire on the couch they always occupied when Nate brought up the subject of missing person’s reports. “I’ve talked to every law enforcement agency in Kentucky and the surrounding areas, no one has made a missing person’s report for anyone matching your description.”
“I guess that means that no one is looking for me.” She said, suddenly feeling very alone.
“Not necessarily, I think it means you don’t have a significant other, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have any friends or family.”
“But wouldn’t they be looking for me?” She asked, still confused about how someone could just disappear and no one noticed.
“Well, they could have been thrown off by a well-placed lie or two. I think we just need to wait and see what turns up, I’ve put just about every cop in a four state area on the case so something will come up.”
“Nate, I really appreciate everything you’re doing for me. I can’t tell you how much better I feel knowing that you’re on the case.” Allison said, looking into his eyes, something she’d been avoiding the last few days, unsure of her feelings.
“I know I shouldn’t say this because it’s completely selfish, but I’m glad I haven’t found a husband or boyfriend out there looking for you.” He said, sliding closer to her on the couch.
“What?” She asked, confused.
“Well, the thing is I’ve been wanting to kiss you for days, but with not knowing who might be out there I’ve been resisting. But now, I don’t see any reason to.” He said, cupping her face with one hand.
Allison was lost in his blue eyes, a blue so startling that it took her breath away. She didn’t remember his eyes being that blue before and with a shock realized that it was desire making them that color. It was all there to see, and a delightful shiver ran thought her body. Knowing that it was probably a mistake she leaned into him, giving him all the permission he needed to kiss her.
When his lips came down on hers, it was like a bolt of lightning went through her body, every nerve suddenly alive and vibrating. What had at first been a gentle kiss, turned urgent almost immediately, Allison pouring all her despair and heartbreak into the kiss, Nate feeling like he’d never kissed a woman before.
Her body on fire, she wrapped her arms around him, loving the feel of his hard body pressed up against hers. Before she knew it his hand was under her shirt and he’d found one of her breasts, the feeling of his hand driving her desire higher, making coherent thoughts difficult. A part of her knew that it was much too soon for this, but another part telling her that there was something right about being in Nate’s arms.
Before things could go any farther, they heard footsteps coming down the hallway and quickly parted, both panting a little from the encounter. Allison’s face was flushed with desire when Sabrina poked her head in the door, she couldn’t hide the smile that appeared when she realized she’d interrupted something.
“Sorry, I just wanted to tell you guys we’re having desert now.” She said, then turned and fled the room.
Nate looked at Allison, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that, I didn’t mean to get that carried away.”
“I wanted you to, I’ve been wanting that since I saw you in the store that first time. But Nate what if there is someone out there looking for me, aren’t we playing with fire?” She said, feeling guilty for no reason.
“If there was someone out there looking for you, they would have found you by now.” He said, pulling her to him.
She listened to his heart beating, taking strength from him, hoping that he was right because no matter who she was, she really liked this man. She did wonder why he didn’t have a significant other, after all he seemed like the whole package. If she was going to become involved with him, she really needed to find out more about him, but first she wanted desert.
Chapter 4
The morning of the wedding the sun was shining and there was no snow in the forecast, it would be a busy day preparing for the wedding, but Allison was actually looking forward to the night. Things had been so hectic the last few days that she’d had little time alone with Nate and none of that time had included another kiss. She was afraid that he’d changed his mind about her, getting involved with someone who didn’t know who they were was a little dangerous.
But any doubts she had were soon erased when he knocked on her door to take her to the wedding that night. She’d chosen a sweater dress that showed off every curve, it was made from the softest yarn in a shade of cream that accentuated her caramel colored skin. She’d put her long hair up on top of her head, and brushed on some makeup, then finally dabbed on some perfume.
“You look fantastic.” Nate said, pulling her to him and kissing her. “And you smell just as good.”
The kiss was so sudden, it took her breath away, but kissing him was just as wonderful as she remembered. When the kiss was over, Nate ran his hands up and down her hips, sending shivers of desire radiating out from her core. “Mmm, you’re just as soft as I’d imagined.” He whispered in her ear, increasing that desire even more.
“It’s the yarn in my dress.” She said, looking up at him, hoping his hands wouldn’t stop.
“No, it’s definitely you.” He said, bending down for another kiss.
Allison might have just let him push her back into the room at that point, but luckily for both of them, someone opened a door down the hallway. “We’d better get going, the wedding starts soon.” Allison said, grabbing her wrap off a hook by the door.
“Yes, I suppose we better, otherwise I’m going to drag you into your room and....” His words trailed off as they were joined by another couple.
Allison couldn’t help but giggle, another second and Nate would have embarrassed them both. Nate offered her his arm, and together they walked down the stairs. The house was strangely quiet, but since the wedding was about to begin it made sense that everyone would be out of the house. When they came out of the front door there was a sled waiting to take them down to the wedding, Allison didn’t think she’d even been in a more romantic setting.
She thought that the wedding would be a wonderful experience, but as soon as the ceremony started, she began having flashes of another wedding. Along with these flashes came an impending sense of doom. If she’d been able to leave without making a scene she would have, but instead she sat stiffly gripping the sides of her chair as the flashes bombarded her with information.
Nate could sense her discomfort and took one of her cold hands in his, he gestured to her asking if she needed to leave, but she shook her head no. She held onto his hand, feeling better for the connection, but as soon as the ceremony was over, he ushered her out of the tent.
“What
happened in there? You remembered something, didn’t you?” Nate asked, guiding her to one of the barns so they’d be out of the cold.
“I keep getting flashes of another wedding, the woman is older and the man is much younger. Every time I see them, I feel a sense of doom, a sense of knowing that it’s all wrong. I’m sorry I ruined the wedding for you. We should go back, I’ll be okay.” She said, forcing a smile.
“I’m sorry this is upsetting you, but it is encouraging that you’ve remembered something. We don’t have to go back if it’s going to be difficult for you.” He said, pulling her into his arms.
“As long as you’re with me, I’ll be okay.” She said, reassured by the sound of his heart beat.
“If you want to leave, tell me and we’re out of there.” He said, taking her hand to help her back to the wedding festivities.
Allison was on edge for the rest of the night, images of the other wedding flashing through her mind. She made it through dinner, but as the dancing began she began to feel panic setting in. The images in her mind becoming clearer as the night continued. Finally, she couldn’t hide her anxiety from Nate any longer.
“I think it’s time to leave.” He said, looking at her hands clenched in her lap.
“I’m ready, but won’t it be rude to leave so early?” She said, hoping he’d say no.
“I think Garrett and Sabrina would understand. Besides, I don’t think we’ll be missed.” He said, helping her to her feet.
When they got back to the house Nate wasn’t sure how to proceed. “Do you want to talk about what you’ve been remembering? I don’t want to push you, but it might be good to talk about it when it’s still fresh in your mind.”
“Honestly, I’d rather think of something else right now. I don’t think I’ll forget what I’ve seen.” She said, shivering at the memories and their effect on her.
Nate pulled her into his arms and kissed her, then said, “Did that help?”
“Mmm, definitely. But Nate I still think this isn’t a good idea. You don’t even know who I am. I could be a criminal for all you know.” She said, pulling away and looking up at him. Her attraction to Nate was so strong she knew she wouldn’t be able to resist him if he pushed her.
“I seriously doubt you’re a criminal. I’m a pretty good judge of character. I promise we won’t do anything you don’t want to do.” He said, leading her to the sunroom, where a fire was still burning.
Allison knew deep down that she could trust Nate, it made no sense, but it was the one thing in her life that she was sure of. Sitting down on the couch, she let Nate pull her into his arms. They sat in silence for a long time, content to be where they were. But, Allison could feel the tension building between them, she wanted him to kiss her more than anything else right now.
When she was in his arms, she could forget about her problems and just live in the moment. It was probably a mistake she would live to regret, but she was completely infatuated with Nate and wanted him to take that closeness to the next level. She’d never be the one to initiate anything, but if he did, she had every intention of taking advantage of it.
She didn’t have to wait very long for Nate to make his move, he’d been sitting next to her thinking about what he might find under her dress. Then feeling guilty for taking advantage of her when she was so terribly wounded, but one thing he was sure of was that he wanted her. It was wrong, but he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted a woman in his life.
He could sense the tension between them and knew that she wanted him just as much, but taking that next step would be a huge decision, one that might change both of their lives. He had no idea why he thought that but knew somewhere deep down that it was true. Waiting until she knew who she was might have been the logical approach to the situation, but right now he wasn’t thinking very logically.
Deciding to trust his instincts, he turned to Allison and took her face in his hands, then lowered his mouth to hers in a kiss that only left her wanting more. Allison wrapped her arms around him, then threaded her fingers though his hair, something she’d been wanting to do for a long time, and brought his head down for another kiss.
He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in Allison, her body was pressed up against his, her breasts pressed seductively against his chest. Panting with desire, he broke the kiss. “Are you sure about this. I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re so fragile.” He said, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand.
“I’m not that fragile, besides I am a grown woman. I trust you Nate and I want this as much as you do.” She said, kissing the center of his palm.
That one kiss was all it took to drive him past the edge of reason, forgetting any reservation he’d had, he took her hand and pulled her up off the couch. They mounted the stairs in silence, each a little nervous about what was about to happen. Allison was sure she’d had sex before, but couldn’t honestly remember it.
She was probably crazy to be doing this, but it was time to start her life again, if she never remembered who she was then she’d start a new life. That thought actually made her feel better, after all she had a place to live and people who cared for her here. It was a place to start, and so was Nate. He was a place to start her new life.
When they got to the door of her room, Nate stopped and took both her hands in his. “Are you sure?” He asked again.
“Yes, I’m sure. Nate, it’s been over a month and I haven’t gotten my memory back. I’ve been afraid to face the idea that I might never get it back, but it is a possibility.”
“Allison, we’ll figure this out.” He said, “Don’t give up.”
“I’m not giving up. I’m just being practical. It’s time to get on with life, every day I spend living in a past I can’t remember, is another day I’ve lost. I just realized I’m tired of living that way. I’m going to start living my life in the here and now. I’m in a safe place with people who care, it’s time to figure out where I’m going to go from here.” She said, feeling stronger by the minute.
“I hope I’m in those plans somewhere.” Nate said, suddenly afraid she’d changed her mind about him. It was strange to feel so exposed with a woman, but he knew he’d be devastated if she turned away from him now.
“You are definitely part of those plans. I’m going to start living life tonight with you.” She said, suddenly embarrassed by her bold words.
“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.” He said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her.
Her room, like many of the other, had a fireplace in it. She was in no hurry to rush what was about to happen, she wanted to take her time and enjoy it. “Would you start a fire, it’s a little chilly in here?”
Nate was a little disappointed that she seemed to be pulling away, but agreed. He’d let her set the pace, and if nothing happened he’d be satisfied with that as well. He was in this for the long haul, it felt like Allison had made a major breakthrough tonight. Making the decision to move on with her life, accepting the possibility that the void would be permanent had taken a lot of strength. Not only was he proud of her, but he was happy to see her inner strength returning.
“I’m going to change out of this dress, as much as I love it, it cost a fortune and I’d hate to ruin it.” She stammered, thinking of the silky nightgown and robe she was planning to put on.
“I’ll go get us something to drink.” Nate said, sensing her nervousness and wanting to give her some space.
When he returned a few minutes later, a bottle of champagne in hand she was still in the bathroom. He took off his jacket, tie and shoes, then made himself comfortable on the couch. When he heard the bathroom door open, he jumped to his feet, wanting to reassure Allison. But when he saw her framed in the door, the bathroom light behind her, thoughts about anything but how beautiful she was ceased to exist in his mind.
He crossed the room in several long strides and took her in his arms, his mouth coming down on hers in a heated kiss t
hat had her knees buckling from the intensity. When they finally had to pause for breath, Nate looked into her eyes and said, “I want you Allison, more than I’ve ever wanted a woman. It’s been driving me crazy for days. Every time I look at you I imagine us together.”
Allison felt all her breath whoosh out of her, his words creating a storm of desire inside her. His words had taken her from mild excitement straight to full blown desire. “I want you too Nate, but I’m a little nervous, I can’t remember doing this before.” She finally admitted, breathless with wanting him.
“We can take it slow.” He said, pulling her over to the bed and sitting her down.
“Okay.” She said, suddenly shy.
Nate knew he needed to take his time, but every time he touched her, his desire was like a fire rushing though him. But, he’d go as slowly as she needed, taking his time wouldn’t be the end of the world. Nate took her hand and kissed the palm, then trailed kisses up the inside of her arm sending delicious waves of pleasure washing over her.
When he reached her neck, she bent her head back, loving the goosebumps that erupted as he nuzzled her neck. “You smell like almonds and vanilla.” He said, making her laugh.
“So I’m a cookie?” She asked.
“Mmm, a very yummy cookie.” He said, finding her mouth with his.
Allison relaxed into his arms, lost in a fury of desire mixed with pleasure, enjoying the kiss but wanting more. Nate sensed her need, found her breast with his hand, while he wrapped the other in her hair, pulling her closer to him. Allison was moaning in her throat, his hand massaging her swollen breast sending waves of pleasure through her. When his finger and thumb found her breast and worked the hard peak between them. She broke the kiss, no longer able to breathe.
Nate bent his head down and captured that same peak in his mouth through the silk of her nightgown, making her lean back on the bed. His hand strayed down her legs and lifted the hem of her nightgown up, exposing her legs to his roaming hands. When his hands pushed her legs apart she could feel the cold air on her exposed sex which was hot and dripping already.
You're My Rock (Brothers From Money #4) Page 4
