by Beth Rhodes
He’d freaked out and run—not literally, of course, more like one of their scared barn cats back home. Something was up with that man, and she wanted to know what, wanted to close the gap he was leaving between them.
She’d been married to him long enough to know he had to process, had to think things through for himself, and she’d never seen him like this before. The distance. The job in Luzon, which he was using to escape what was going on here. That’s how it felt anyway.
Stacy bit at her thumbnail as she rounded the turn in the path to The Shack, a small hut at the base of the main road, directly south of town along the shore.
Her heart warmed at the sight of it and of the man standing in the doorway, watching her come down the lane. She waved with a smile, and he stood and came toward the front stoop. Here, in Belize, he reminded her of those fun, lovable characters in the movie South Pacific—beefy, on the short side, tanned. His grin gave him away as the true softy he was—for her anyway.
With the men they fought, no. He was as hard as his reputation warranted.
Stacy took the wooden steps to the porch, two at a time. “Jamie,” she said with a smile.
The Shack played a key role in a number of operations in Central and South America as a place for layover or, heaven forbid, if things went bad, as a place to regroup and assess. Isolated from the main drag by a strip of dense jungle-like terrain, it was the perfect spot for a clandestine meeting and had been used for that purpose a number of times.
“Hola, mi amigo bonita.” Her grin widened. He was fluent in Spanish yet as ginger as an Irishman could get. He stood like a tree with his arms folded over his chest. A former member of Hawk's squad, he was one of their best friends and had stood for them at their wedding. He'd retired from the business three years ago. Now, in his cut-off jeans, muscle t-shirt and bandana, not to mention the Birkenstock footwear, he was the picture of leisure. It made her want to pull on his ponytail, just because.
Jamie tilted his head and studied her. “You need some sun.”
She stepped into his embrace, and wanting to lean, she held off. “That's what I'm here for.”
The comfort of friendship almost broke her guard, but she resisted and extricated herself from his arms. He let her go, a glimmer of concern in his eyes. She kissed his cheek―grateful. “I'm ready to go diving.”
“By yourself, huh?” Jamie crooked a brow, looking back up the path as if he might find Hawk there.
“Hawk is meeting me here. He’s got the assignment in the Philippines. Apparently, it’s had a few glitches. I’m sure he’ll be here as soon as possible.” The doubting part of her wanted to hide anything that reeked of discontent. Would he make it? She didn’t know. It embarrassed her that people might see the weird rift between them. “You know how it is.”
“Hmm.” Jamie nodded his head.
Anger at herself flared against her breastbone. She tamped it down. My God, when had she become ashamed of her feelings?
“There is no hmm, Jamie. It's work as usual.” She walked by him into the storefront. “Come on. Let’s have a drink. If Hawk isn’t here within the half hour, I’ll go out with one of your guides. Who’s on today?”
Jamie slipped in behind the big desk at the front of the shop and flipped through his book. Stacks of underwater gear were piled from wall to wall, and the look said messy and misused. Stacy knew differently. Not an outing went by when all the equipment wasn't checked and double checked. The façade kept away the rich and nagging, and she could appreciate that. This had become a local spot with most of the high-end tourists staying to the north where the big resorts catered the high-maintenance crowd.
“Tom's on this morning. You remember him? Young kid, 'bout your John's age. He's been here since the end of May. He's a decent worker, though he can party a little too hard on the weekends.” Jamie disappeared into the back room and came out with a tank from the replenished stack. “Here, you know what to do. Check everything. Did you bring your knife?”
Darn it. “Actually―”
“Yeah. Everything's fine, isn't it?” Jamie shook his head before he reached into the bottom draw of his desk. “You'll need this. I know you. You like to explore.”
She took the sheathed blade. “I meant to bring mine.”
“Yeah, yeah. We all forget sometimes...” His gaze held hers as if he wanted to say more, He didn't. He wagged his head. “Come on. That drink.”
“Perfect,” she said as the weight of awkwardness fell from her shoulders. “Just what the doctor ordered.”
Chapter Three
He didn’t show, and she texted him a half hour later to which he answered,
It’s going to be awhile. So sorry! Cluster in Manila. I WILL hurry. Be careful, babe.
Diving, by herself. Self-pity. Remorse? There was a part of her that wanted to return to their bungalow. Maybe she could reach the children again, or jump online for a while.
“So?”
Stacy glanced up as Jamie came in. “I’m diving,” she said, adding determination. She’d been working her ass off for this vacation. She’d lost fifteen pounds and had been using Hawk’s gym to get back to the woman she’d been twenty years ago.
“It’s a good idea,” he answered her and held out a hand.
Rolling her eyes, she took it and rose. “Tell that to Hawk.”
“Maybe I will.” He grinned. “Come on, the water will help.”
He was right, of course. Years of living on the coast here made him the expert.
The ride to the reef soothed the irritation. The routine of checking her tanks again, checking her hoses and gauges, cleared her mind of the morning's mishaps.
Plunging into the sea from the edge of the boat and watching the world disappear above her was almost as good as meeting with an old friend for coffee. She sank, ignoring the silence by enjoying the myriad of colors. Two angelfish broke through a crevasse at her right. Her eyes took in the languid sweep of their movement. When a shadow fell over her, she slowly twirled in the water. A lone shark, uncaring to her presence, swam over and disappeared around the bend in the reef.
Sighing at the impulse to turn and talk to Hawk, she sent a quick look over her shoulder. Tom―her guard―smiled, reassuring her she was safe. Even knowing so, she liked having the company. She made another dive to an opening about ten feet away. Though she would never admit it, her bravery was limited. She peered into the gaping hole for a moment, and seeing nothing circled back to where Tom hung in the water.
Checking her gauges, she signaled to Tom and started her ascent through the blades of sunshine that cut the surface of the water above. It was beautiful. Something she would have liked to share with the man she’d married—for better or worse, for richer or poorer, and yadda, yadda, yadda. Her stomach clenched against the knot forming low in her belly. She didn't want black thoughts to ruin another day. She stopped on her rise to decompress; Tom at her side asking her if she was okay. She smiled and gave him a thumbs up.
When she broke the surface, she pulled her mouthpiece and squinted into the bright sunshine on a deep, cleansing breath. She peeled first one flipper then the other from her feet and tucked them under her arm before reaching up and climbing the ladder to the swim platform.
She’d shared trips with Hawk before—both business and pleasure. The days when she was a working asset to team. Not the mom she’d become. Like the time they'd stayed in a tree house built against the backdrop of a country fraught with civil war. Sweating with the heat, and hyper aware of the danger and adrenaline, he'd laid a hand over her stomach that night and whispered against her ear, “Sleep.”
With him beside her, she'd been able to. That simple.
Was that connection gone forever? Was he pulling away for a reason? What would he think? That she wanted back in? He liked her safe. He’d never said so, but he liked when the kids had set her back away from the business they’d made.
Through the years, his presence at the dinner table or across a crowded
room would bring a smile to her face or an extra beat to her heart. He’d been hers for the longest time. Hers, with a look, the touch of it making her burn in the darkest hours of the night.
The element that was missing. He'd stopped looking at her.
Stacy kicked the water as she waited for Tom to follow her into the boat.
“Good dive, Mrs. Hawkins.”
“Stacy,” she said dryly as she lent her young diving partner a hand.
He pulled himself up to the platform. His grin was infectious. “Where's John this summer?”
“With his brother and sister at their grandparent's home.”
“Oh, yeah?” Tom stripped from his gear and the wetsuit. “Where's that?”
“Germany.”
“No kidding?”
“Nope.” Stacy smiled. “Do you go to school around here, Tom?”
His youthful chest puffed up. “I graduated last year. I'm saving up the money I earn to go to university.”
“What will you study?” she asked, kicking the water under her feet.
“Marine biology.”
“What about family?”
Worry crossed the young man's face. “I have a sister and a mother. My sister is five. She will start kindergarten this year.”
“So sweet at that age. You’re going to do great, Tom. You already love the water, and you’re so smart.” She grinned when he shrugged, embarrassed by her compliment.
“I used to love working with the little ones. I was a teacher when I first came to Belize twenty years ago.”
“What? No way. I can’t see you as a teacher,” Tom said as he returned his gear to the storage box and sat in the captain's chair.
His comment made her think. She wasn’t a teacher anymore, had given it up to learn the ways of Hawk’s team, and she stopped wanting to be a teacher.
That was the problem. Right now, she was nothing. Not working with Hawk. Not teaching. Stuck.
“Ready to go?”
“Yup. Let’s go.” She got comfortable in the skipper seat with her feet up on the dash, and when Tom jacked up the speed, she let her head fall back and enjoyed the wind whipping by as they made their way to shore.
She and Tom glided into the dock a mere twenty minutes later. Her heart flipped over when she saw her husband standing at the end, waiting for them, arms crossed over his chest. He had his swim trunks on and those sexy sunglasses perched high on his nose, concealing eyes that were her downfall every time.
Tom made a wide turn and shifted into reverse. Stacy picked up the line and tossed it to Hawk as the engine shut down. The boat drifted back and bobbed into place as her husband secured it.
Stacy picked up her gear and stepped over the side to the worn, warm wooden planks.
Hawk immediately drew her in and wrapped an arm around her head and shoulders. She grinned when he placed a kiss on top of her head. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he answered. “Have fun out there?”
“Yup.”
“Good.” He took her oxygen tank from her and walked up to The Shack.
Jamie had lunch spread out on the patio.
“I’m starving. I didn’t realize.” Light fare—crabs and grilled vegetables—covered the tile-topped table. “You guys have been busy.”
“Jamie’s been busy,” Hawk corrected. “I just got here a few minutes ago.”
“I’m just going to put my stuff away.” Stacy took the tank from Hawk and looked back to Tom who was swabbing the deck. “Invite him to eat, Jamie.”
Jamie rolled his eyes and nodded to the house. “Si, si. Go on with yourself and hurry back.”
It was like old times, and when she returned to the patio, Hawk and Jamie were leaning over the table, deep in conversation.
“Spill,” she demanded, taking the water bottle Hawk offered. “I know those looks.”
“Julio Barba called this morning.”
At his serious tone, Stacy’s appetite faded. “Shoot.”
“Rumors about Cortez are flying. Even my contact in Mexico City confirmed the same. Just rumors, mind you.” Jamie shrugged. “Not sure what to make of it. After all these years.”
“What rumors?”
Hawk sent Jamie a look before he sighed and let her in to the know. “That he’s back in business. There’s been activity in and around his warehouses.”
“So, what does that have to do with the team?”
“Nothing specific. They’re still in Luzon, not headed back to Manila until tomorrow.” Hawk rubbed a hand over his head. “They’re nervous. Getting mixed intel.”
“They’ll check in again, though.”
“Yes, of course,” Jamie confirmed.
“It does mean we’ll be tied up for a couple more days.” Hawk drank deeply of the iced tea.
“You’re going to the Philippines.”
He didn’t have to tell her.
“It’s fine.”
Hawk’s brow rose, because he didn’t believe her. She almost laughed. Another sign that even if he’d pulled away from her, if things were unsettled like they seemed, she and Hawk had still been married for almost twenty years. And no matter what, you couldn’t hide truth for long.
“Really, I’m fine with it. I could go with you. And help.”
“No,” Hawk spoke sharply. “I mean. No. Really. It’s fine. I would love for you to go, but I want you to relax, to enjoy your time away from the kids.
Jamie put a hand on her shoulder, gave it a squeeze. “Until Cortez is confirmed not a threat, it’s best you keep your distance.”
Hawk continued, “Julio heard he was rebuilding the business, increasing his fleet again.”
Stacy’s heart fell. That mission, all those years ago, had really messed with Hawk. He’d never forgotten losing that little girl in his arms. She’d never seen him so emotionally wrecked after an operation. She’d been pregnant with Willy at the time, and she was sure he’d used that as an excuse to conceal some of the grittier details.
The start of the end for her. The end of her time truly working beside Hawk on the assignments. Things had never been the same for them after that mission ten years ago. “Dang it, Hawk. Are you sure the men aren’t in danger?”
“They’re okay.” Hawk rested his elbows on the table and folded his hands over them, his gaze finding her. “Min’s got the guys out at the mines. They’ll be back to Barba’s tomorrow before they fly out at ten p.m. There’s no reason for Cortez to get wind of them.”
“Okay. Good. That’s good. Julio will take care of them.” Julio had been a client first and then he’d become a friend and, in response to the illegal drug trade, had formed his own ranks inside his company and inside the city.
“Sit down, babe.”
Stacy stopped, found her hands clenched in front of her, and forced them to relax at her sides.
“Eat.”
She sighed and sat, nibbling on a piece of shrimp. The rumbling in her stomach quieted. “After all this time…”
“We just keep our eyes and ears peeled, as usual.”
“And during our vacation, too— Shit. Forget I said that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, quit being sorry. Just, finish this, Hawk. Okay? Get our guys home.”
“I will. You know I will.”
She frowned, and her eyes searched his. Had she heard an element of defensive in his voice? Was she hearing things now, too?
As the men started talking contingency plans, Stacy finished the food on her plate.
“Ready, babe?”
Stacy looked up, surprised to find Hawk standing and holding out a hand. She dropped her napkin to the table. “Let’s help clean up first.”
“Leave it.” Jamie spoke with a nod toward the dock. “Tom will eat and then I’ll clean up. You two go. It won’t be long before you’re back in the office again, burning the midnight oil.”
They took the road back toward the resort, walking together in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t exactly
old jeans, either. They both had a lot on their minds. She appreciated the quiet for once.
There was one thing she understood without a doubt. Hawk was a protector. He would die for what was his, for those he loved.
She sighed and lifted her beach bag up on her shoulder.
“Here. Let me get that.” Hawk tugged on the strap.
She shrugged. “I got it. It’s not heavy.”
“I can still help.”
“That’s okay.”
“Just give it, Stace.”
She handed it over. “Sorry. I’ve annoyed you. You want to talk about it?”
“What?” He glanced her way, a question in his raised eyebrows.
“You’ve been defensive and distant for… Hell, I don’t know how long.”
“I’m fine. Just haven’t been feeling myself, lately, I guess. Don’t mean to be defensive.”
She called bullshit on that with a scowl. “Fine,” she echoed his response.
And when he laughed, she wanted to just…strangle him. “You’re crazy, you know?”
“I’m sorry. I just…something. It’s… I’m not sure what to say.”
“Wow.” She walked two quick steps and turned to walk backwards to him so she could really see his face. “There is something.”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
Hawk reached out and stopped her. “Curb.”
He turned her back around and took her hand. He didn’t want to talk. Not surprising. He had a way of getting around her. He liked to have everything lined up, figured out in his head. She loved that about him…and hated it.
“You’re infuriating, Hawk.”
“I know it.” His hand went up to his head again. “I had an appointment with Dr. Carrig.”
“When?” God, she almost tripped over her own feet at the statement.
A motorist beeped. The engine whined, revved up, and skidded over the gravel along the side of the road. Simultaneously, she and Hawk turned to look. The scooter went wild, sliding out of control. Her pulse thumped against her neck as the driver leaned into the turn—as if he wanted to hit them.
