ALDONZA But what do you get out of it?
SANCHO What do I get? Plenty! Why, already I’ve gotten …
ALDONZA You’ve gotten nothing! So why do you do it?
SANCHO (Sings)
I like him.
I really like him.
Pluck me naked as a scalded chicken, I like him!
Don’t ask me
For why or wherefore,
’Cause I don’t have a single good “Because” or “Therefore.”
You can barbecue my nose,
Make a giblet of my toes,
Make me freeze, make me fry,
Make me sigh, make me cry,
Still I’ll yell to the sky
Though I can’t tell you why,
That I … like … him!
(He exits, in his own kind of dignity, leaving ALDONZA puzzled and less sure.
A cross-dim in the lighting, out on the kitchen; up the well stage left where CERVANTES is entering with the MULETEERS, prompting them in the next song they are to sing. Night lighting; the mood lyric, sentimental. Satisfied that they are singing it properly, CERVANTES exits, and the MULETEERS, lounging about the coping of the well, swell into full harmony to the guitarist’s accompaniment)
MULETEERS (During this, ALDONZA picks up a bucket and crosses the courtyard to the well. Lights will fade out in the kitchen. As ALDONZA approaches, the lines sung by the MULETEERS have focused upon her with mocking, though light-hearted double-entendre. She pushes ne or two of them out of the way in order to get to the well. They sing the last lines of the song to her legs)
Little bird, little bird,
In the cinnamon tree,
Little bird, little bird,
Do you sing for me?
Do you bring me word
Of one I know?
Little bird, little bird, I love her so,
Little bird, little bird, I have to know,
Little bird, little bird.
Beneath this tree, this cinnamon tree,
We learned to love, we learned to cry;
For here we met and here we kissed,
And here one cold and moonless night we said goodbye.
Little bird, little bird,
Oh have pity on me,
Bring her back to me now
’Neath the cinnamon tree.
I have waited too long
Without a song …
Little bird, little bird, please fly, please go,
Little bird, little bird, and tell her so,
Little bird, little bird!
ALDONZA (Dispassionately) I spit in the milk of your “little bird.”
(She bends over to fill the bucket from the well. PEDRO spies the letter)
PEDRO Here, what’s this?
(He snatches it)
ALDONZA Give it back!
PEDRO (Fending her off) It’s a letter.
ALDONZA That shows how stupid you are; it’s a missive!
PEDRO Missive? (Holding it up) Who reads?
(ANSELMO holds up a hand. PEDRO tosses him the letter. ALDONZA would try to retrieve it but is held by PEDRO and another of the MULETEERS)
PEDRO (Reprovingly, closing her mouth with a hand) Sh-h-h!
ALDONZA Sons of whores!
(She bites him)
ANSELMO (Haltingly, mispronouncing words) “Most lovely sovereign and highborn lady—!” It’s from her knight. A love letter!
ALDONZA A stupid joke!
TENORIO Then why so hot about it?
PEDRO Has he touched your heart?
ALDONZA Nobody touches my heart.
ANSELMO All these fine words …!
ALDONZA (Snatching back the letter) Fine words. He’s a man, isn’t he? All right, he wants what every other man wants.
(She picks up her buckets of water and starts off. PEDRO stops her)
PEDRO Hey, Aldonza … now?
ALDONZA (Sullenly) Later … when I’m through in the kitchen.
(She exits. The MULETEERS continue singing softly as the PADRE and DR. CARRASCO enter. FERMINA enters and crosses to them. They indicate in pantomime that she bring DON QUIXOTE to them. She exits)
PADRE I confess I shall not know what to say to him.
DR. CARRASCO In that case, leave it to me.
PADRE He may not even know us!
DR. CARRASCO I am prepared for that contingency. Should he fail to recognize us …
(He is interrupted)
DON QUIXOTE (From offstage; he enters during the course of his speech) Who is it crieth help of Don Quixote de La Mancha? Is there a castle beleaguered by giants? A king who lies under enchantment? An army besieged and awaiting rescue? (Surprised, he advances toward them) Why, what is this? (With cordial welcome) My friends!
DR. CARRASCO (Taken aback) You know us?
DON QUIXOTE (Equally puzzled) Should a man not know his friends, Dr. Carrasco? (With great warmth, taking his hand)—Padre Perez!
PADRE (In deep relief) Ah, Señor Quijana—
DON QUIXOTE (In cool reproof) I should prefer that you address me properly. I am Don Quixote, knight-errant of La Mancha.
(The PADRE quails and sinks to a seat)
DR. CARRASCO Señor Quijana—
DON QUIXOTE Don Quixote.
DR. CARRASCO There are no giants. No kings under enchantment. No chivalry. No knights. There have been no knights for three hundred years.
DON QUIXOTE (To the PADRE, pityingly) So learned, yet so misinformed.
DR. CARRASCO These are FACTS.
DON QUIXOTE Facts are the enemy of truth.
SANCHO (Entering) Your Grace—
DON QUIXOTE (Eagerly) Well? Did she receive thee? (SANCHO nods) Ah, most fortunate of squires! The token. What of the token? (SANCHO proffers the ragged dishcloth. QUIXOTE takes it with reverence) Sheer gossamer. (Turning away) Forgive me. I am overcome.
SANCHO (To the PADRE and CARRASCO, confidentially) It’s from his lady.
DR. CARRASCO (Pouncing) So there’s a woman!
DON QUIXOTE A lady! (Softening) The lady Dulcinea. Her beauty is more than human. Her quality? Perfection. She is the very meaning of woman … and all meaning woman has to man.
PADRE (With a sad smile) To each his Dulcinea.
(A happy caroling is heard from someone approaching the inn)
DON QUIXOTE (Hearing and turning) Someone approaches …!
SANCHO It’s just an ordinary traveler.
DON QUIXOTE But see what he wears upon his head! Get thee to a place of hiding, Sancho.
SANCHO (Apprehensively) Oh, dear!
(He hides as QUIXOTE too conceals himself to one side)
BARBER (Singing offstage)
Oh, I am a little barber
And I go my merry way,
With my razor and my leeches
I can always earn my pay.
Though your chin be smooth as satin,
You will need me soon I know,
For the Lord protects His barbers,
And He makes the stubble grow.
BARBER (Enters. He carries a bundle of equipment, and on his head is wearing a brass shaving basin. He sings to the MULETEERS)
If I slip when I am shaving you
And cut you to the quick,
You can use me as a doctor,
’Cause I also heal the sick.
(QUIXOTE comes up behind him and prods him with his sword. The BARBER turns, unbelieving)
By the beard of St. Anthony—I could swear I see before me a knight in full armor! (He chuckles) Ridiculous. There aren’t any knights, (QUIXOTE roars, raising his sword. The BARBER falls to his knees) I was wrong! Forgive me, Your Highness, I thought I’d been touched by the sun!
DON QUIXOTE Thou wilt be touched by worse if thou dost not speedily hand over that Golden Helmet!
BARBER Golden helmet? What? Where? (Takes the basin off, examines it) Why, this is nothing but a shaving basin!
DON QUIXOTE (With fine contempt) Shaving basin.
SANCHO (Examining it) I must
say, Your Grace, it does look like a shaving basin.
BARBER (Eagerly) Of course! You see, I am a barber. A barber? I ply my trade from village to village, and I was wearing this on my head to ward off the rays of the sun, so that’s how Your Highship made the mistake of—
DON QUIXOTE Silence! (The BARBER flinches and is silent. Impressively, to CARRASCO and the PADRE) Know thou what that really is? The Golden Helmet of Mambrino! When worn by one of noble heart it renders him invulnerable to all wounds! (To the BARBER) Misbegotten knave—where didst thou steal it?
BARBER I didn’t steal it!
DON QUIXOTE Hand it over.
BARBER But it cost me half a crown!
DON QUIXOTE Hand it over or I shall—!
(He takes a mighty swipe with his sword. The BARBER yelps and tumbles out of the way, abandoning the basin which SANCHO catches)
SANCHO (With satisfaction) It is worth half a crown.
DON QUIXOTE Fool! (His face lights up; he tosses away his old casque, handling the basin with reverence and pleasure. He sings)
Thou Golden Helmet of Mambrino,
With so illustrious a past,
Too long hast thou been lost to glory,
Th’art rediscovered now at last!
Golden Helmet of Mambrino,
There can be no
Hat like thee!
Thee and I, now,
’Ere I die, now,
Will make golden
History!
BARBER
I can hear the cuckoo singing
in the cuckooberry tree …
SANCHO
If he says that that’s a helmet, I suggest
that you agree …
BARBER
But he’ll find it is not gold and will not
make him bold and brave …
SANCHO
Well, at least he’ll find it useful if he ever
needs a shave!
(SANCHO and the BARBER move toward QUIXOTE who has indicated that the PADRE should “crown” him with the golden helmet as he kneels. Just as QUIXOTE is about to be crowned, he remembers the token, takes it from inside his tunic and hands it to SANCHO indicating that it be attached to the helmet before the crowning is completed. SANCHO does so, handing the helmet back to the PADRE who completes the coronation. All this has happened to the amazement of the MULETEERS, the utter disbelief of the BARBER, and the worshipful attendance of SANCHO)
DON QUIXOTE
Thou Golden Helmet of Mambrino,
Thy deeds the world will not forget;
Now Don Quixote de La Mancha
Will bring thee greater glory yet!
Golden—
DON QUIXOTE THE OTHERS
—Helmet of Mambrino —Helmet of Mambrino,
There can be no There can be no
Hat like thee! Hat like thee!
Thee and I, now, Thee and he now,
’Ere I die now We can see, now
Will make golden Will make golden
History! History!
(SANCHO slowly drags the astounded BARBER off and away from QUIXOTE, as the MULETEERS, one of them sobbing uncontrollably at the amazing sight, drift off. The PADRE and DR. CARRASCO, apparently giving up their mission, also leave. Lights dim down and the INNKEEPER enters)
INNKEEPER (Surprised to find QUIXOTE alone) Your friends have departed?
DON QUIXOTE (Turning on his knees) Sir Castellano—I would make a confession.
INNKEEPER To me?
DON QUIXOTE I would confess that I have never actually been dubbed a knight.
INNKEEPER Oh. That’s bad!
DON QUIXOTE And yet I am well qualified, my lord. I am brave, courteous, bold, generous, affable and patient.
INNKEEPER (Judiciously) Yes … that’s the list.
DON QUIXOTE Therefore I would beg a boon of thee.
INNKEEPER Anything! Within reason.
DON QUIXOTE Tonight I would hold vigil in the chapel of thy castle, and at dawn receive from thy hand the ennobling stroke of knighthood.
INNKEEPER Hmm. There’s one small difficulty. No chapel.
DON QUIXOTE What?
INNKEEPER (Hastily) That is—it’s being repaired. But if you wouldn’t mind holding your vigil someplace else …?
DON QUIXOTE (A happy thought) Here in the courtyard. Under the stars …!
INNKEEPER Fine! At sunrise you’ll be dubbed a knight.
DON QUIXOTE I thank thee.
INNKEEPER Now will you have some supper?
DON QUIXOTE Supper? Before a vigil? Nay, my lord, on this night I must fast and compose my spirit.
(He and the INNKEEPER exit separately as the lights pick up the PADRE and CARRASCO)
PADRE There is either the wisest madman or the maddest wise man in the world.
DR. CARRASCO He is mad.
PADRE Well … in any case we have failed.
DR. CARRASCO (Tightly) Not necessarily. We know the sickness. Now to find the cure.
(He exits)
PADRE (Reflecting for a moment) The cure. May it be not worse than the disease. (Music: as he sings we will see QUIXOTE in half-light reverentially affixing the token to his helmet; and in half-light also, ALDONZA in the kitchen studying with mixed emotions the missive which she cannot read)
To each his Dulcinea,
That he alone can name …
To each a secret hiding place
Where he can find the haunting face
To light his secret flame.
For with his Dulcinea
Beside him so to stand,
A man can do quite anything,
Outfly the bird upon the wing,
Hold moonlight in his hand.
Yet if you build your life on dreams
It’s prudent to recall,
A man with moonlight in his hand
Has nothing there at all.
There is no Dulcinea,
She’s made of flame and air,
And yet how lovely life would seem
If every man could weave a dream
To keep him from despair.
To each his Dulcinea
Though she’s naught but flame and air!
(The lights on the PADRE dim out, and he exits. Music resumes in another motif as the lighting in the courtyard—moonlight—comes to full.
QUIXOTE is now pacing back and forth, lance in hand, holding vigil over his armor)
DON QUIXOTE (Pausing) Now must I consider how sages of the future will describe this historic night. (He strikes a pose) “Long after the sun had retired to his couch, darkening the gates and balconies of La Mancha, Don Quixote with measured tread and lofty expression held vigil in the courtyard of a mighty castle!” (He hears the pompous echo of his voice, bows his head, ashamed) Oh, maker of empty boasts. On this, of all nights, to give way to vanity. Nay, Don Quixote—take a deep breath of life and consider how it should be lived. (He kneels)
Call nothing thy own except thy soul.
Love not what thou art, but only what thou
may become.
Do not pursue pleasure, for thou may have
the misfortune to overtake it.
Look always forward; in last year’s nest
there are no birds this year.
(ALDONZA has entered the courtyard en route to her rendezvous with PEDRO. She stops, watching DON QUIXOTE and listening)
Be just to all men. Be courteous to all women.
Live in the vision of that one for whom great deeds are done … she that is called Dulcinea.
ALDONZA Why do you call me that?
DON QUIXOTE (He opens his eyes) My lady!
ALDONZA Oh, get up from there. Get up! (DON QUIXOTE rises worshipfully) Why do you call me by that name?
DON QUIXOTE Because it is thine.
ALDONZA My name is Aldonza!
DON QUIXOTE (Shakes his head respectfully) I know thee, lady.
ALDONZA My name is Aldonza and I think you know me not.
DON QUIXOTE All my years I
have known thee. Thy virtue. Thy nobility of spirit.
ALDONZA (Laughs scornfully, whips the rebozo from her head) Take another look!
DON QUIXOTE (Gently) I have already seen thee in my heart.
ALDONZA Your heart doesn’t know much about women!
DON QUIXOTE It knows all, my lady. They are the soul of man … the radiance that lights his way. A woman is … glory!
ALDONZA (Anger mashing uncertainty) What do you want of me?
DON QUIXOTE Nothing.
ALDONZA Liar!
DON QUIXOTE (Bows his head) I deserved the rebuke. I ask of my lady—
ALDONZA Now we get to it.
DON QUIXOTE … that I may be allowed to serve her. That I may hold her in my heart. That I may dedicate each victory and call upon her in defeat. And if at last I give my life I give it in the sacred name of Dulcinea.
ALDONZA (Draws her rebozo about her shoulders and backs away, shaken) I must go … Pedro is waiting … (She pauses. Vehemently) Why do you do these things?
DON QUIXOTE What things, my lady?
ALDONZA These ridiculous … the things you do!
DON QUIXOTE I hope to add some measure of grace to the world.
ALDONZA The world’s a dungheap and we are maggots that crawl on it!
DON QUIXOTE My lady knows better in her heart.
ALDONZA What’s in my heart will get me halfway to hell. And you, Señor Don Quixote—you’re going to take such a beating!
DON QUIXOTE Whether I win or lose does not matter.
ALDONZA What does?
DON QUIXOTE Only that I follow the quest.
ALDONZA (Spits in vulgar contempt) That for your quest. (She turns, marches away, then stops. Music: very softly, as she comes back) What does it mean—quest?
DON QUIXOTE The mission of each true knight … his duty—nay, his privilege! (He sings)
To dream the impossible dream,
To fight the unbeatable foe,
To bear with unbearable sorrow,
To run where the brave dare not go.
Man of La Mancha Page 4
