I latched onto his head, my fingers lacing through his hair, so soft and thick as I held him against my neck while he sank his teeth into my tender flesh. He worried at my skin, growling and groaning in appreciation as I mewled and whimpered in response. The hand he had in my hair moved down to my hip, and he lifted me up off the ground. He wrapped my legs around his waist as he rutted against me, the ridge on the underside of his cock rubbing hard against my clit. My God, an orgasm was already threatening to blow me apart as he dry humped me against the door at my back, his fingers digging blissfully into my ass. The pleasure built and built, higher and higher. I was on the precipice and almost there, so close, so close...
Calder abruptly pulled away from me, letting my feet drop back down to the floor. I slumped backwards against the door to stay upright as he stepped away from me. No. I whimpered in disappointment and forced myself to meet his eyes, even though I feared I'd find that heartbreaking look of horror on his face again. That's not what I saw at all.
His eyes were raging with lust, the crystalline blue of his eyes fiery and bright. He sucked in ragged heavy breaths, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, like he was battling for control. Finally, he closed his eyes and with one more deep shuddering breath, his body stilled. Disappointment hit me hard. This was it. He was going to reject me and leave, and who could blame him. I certainly didn't.
Imagine my surprise when his eyes popped open again, just as fiery and bright as they had been a moment before, but now there was a fierce and commanding edge of pure undeniable intent and intimidating focus. It pinned me where I stood, immobile and unbelievably aroused.
"Bedroom. Now," he snarled out, his tone hard, demanding, and the sexiest damn thing I'd ever heard.
Holy. Shit. My body instantly obeyed, and I scurried away toward the stairs before my brain could even form a coherent thought. I didn't understand my reaction, but I was too far gone with lust to care. My body craved Calder like a drug, and I wasn't going to fight it. It was much too strong to turn away from, the promise of pleasure and escape much too tempting to deny. I would live in the now, and worry about consequences later.
I could hear him following me as I hurried up the stairs, his firm and confident footsteps spurring me onward in eager anticipation. In the past, I remembered Calder being an enthusiastic and giving lover, but this sexy assertive side of him was something completely new and unlike anything I'd ever experienced before with him or the only other man I'd slept with, Ray. My husband had started out a sweet and loving man when I met him, but once we were married, and he knew I wasn't going anywhere, Ray became an altogether different man. Not only in our everyday life, but also in bed. He was brutish and intimidating during sex with none of it ever about my pleasure or what I wanted. I'd learned to deal with it, in order to get it over with as quickly as possible.
In contrast, Calder's powerful and commanding presence, though just as intimidating in its own right, turned me on and inexplicably made me feel safe. Perhaps it was because I knew Calder wasn't anything like Ray. Even after all these years, I trusted him and knew he wouldn't hurt me. I knew it would feel amazing too, just like last night. And heaven help me, I needed something to feel good, and to make me forget for just a little while about the sorry state of my life.
I stepped into my room and reached out to flip on the light switch.
"No," Calder said sharply as he came up behind me and placed his big warm hand over mine. "Turn on the lamp instead."
"Um," I replied, feeling disappointed. He wasn't this big and muscular twelve years ago, and I wanted a really good look at what was under his suit. "Okay."
I crossed the room and flicked on my small bedside lamp, bathing the room in low and soft golden light. I turned to look at Calder, and gasped at the heated lust burning in his eyes as he watched me from the doorway. His gaze bore into me as he shrugged out of his suit jacket, and carefully draped it over the chair of the antique white vanity next to the door.
"Take your shirt off, Ella," he said sternly, his deep bass-heavy voice coming out husky and oozing with arousal.
I stared at him in a mesmerized stupor as he began unbuttoning his crisp white dress shirt. My eyes unconsciously followed his deft fingers as he opened a swath of bare skin down the center of his broad chest. My mouth practically watered in anticipation.
"Now, Ella." His voice dropped even lower as he narrowed his eyes at me and arched a brow. "Don't make me rip it off of you."
My pussy throbbed at that very idea of Calder ripping my clothes off, but I didn't relish the thought of explaining to my brother why his shirt mysteriously disappeared. I reached down tentatively for the hem of my shirt, and began lifting it up, suddenly feeling self-conscious about him scrutinizing my body like this. I wasn't that slender young twenty-two-year-old he remembered anymore. I had stretch marks, and my breasts were saggier than they used to be from having Violet. I hoped he wasn't too disappointed with what he was about to see. I pulled the T-shirt over my head and dropped it to the floor. Then I unconsciously wrapped my arms across my bare breasts to cover myself as I stared at Calder's feet, digging my fingers into my skin as I waited for his reaction.
"Drop your arms," he demanded as he stepped closer to me. "Don't hide yourself from me."
I instinctively obeyed again, now standing topless in front of him and gnawing nervously on my lower lip. He moved even closer and stopped a few feet in front of me. I stared at the stripe of bare skin down his torso that was framed by his now open shirt. My eyes focused on the line of dark hair that trailed from his bellybutton to disappear into his pants. Desire shivered through me at the very thought of where it led.
Calder let out a low throaty growl. "Look at me," he commanded.
I forced myself to look up, expecting to find a disgusted or at the very least a disappointed expression on his gorgeous face. Instead, I found his eyes raking across my chest with a dark feral gleam.
"Your breasts are exquisite, my lovely," he practically purred. "Just like I remember," he added in a murmuring whisper that I barely made out.
His big warm hands came up to cup them reverently, his rough thumbs glancing across my already hard and sensitive nipples. I gasped as a sharp zing of electricity shot straight down to my clit to pulse and throb in time with my racing heart. I wanted to melt into a pile of goo already.
"Turn around." His hands were already gripping my shoulders and spinning me around before I could react.
He let go of me, and I heard the rustling of cloth. I assumed he was taking off his shirt. I took a shuddering breath as I fought the urge to sneak a peak over my shoulder, somehow knowing he wouldn't want me to. I saw the white shirt flutter to the floor out of the corner of my eye, and closed my eyes in anticipation. I didn't have long to wait.
The next thing I knew Calder's soft warm skin was touching mine as he pressed the front of his hard muscular body against my back. His arms snaked around me to palm my breasts in a firm confident grip. His teeth scraped across the tender skin where my neck met my shoulder, his low growl vibrating delightfully through me. His steely erection snugged up close to me, feeling huge against my ass. I'd forgotten how well endowed Calder was and the feel of it pushing against me sent my arousal skyrocketing. I whimpered and shook with sweet desire.
He groaned, then murmured, "So beautiful, so sexy," seductively in my ear, the rough hairs of his goatee tickling against my neck as he spoke.
I could feel his body trembling now, as if he was battling to control himself. I was awed and stunned by it. For the first time in so long, I actually felt wanted and desired, strong and sure in my own femininity, and it was a heady feeling I'd nearly forgotten. No matter how he felt about me and our painful past, his body couldn't lie, couldn't hide its reaction to me, nor mine to his. It made me feel good about my body for the first time in over a decade. It made me feel normal.
Calder's right hand released my breast and glided down my belly, dipping under the wide waistband of my yog
a pants and into my panties. His fingers combed through my trimmed pubic hair to slide over my soft folds, finding me already soaking wet and swollen for him. He growled and nipped at my neck, then found my core and sunk one long finger deep inside me. My insides pulsed and clutched around his digit as I almost blew apart on the spot, shoving my ass back against his cock.
"Fuck," he rasped out fiercely, then jerked away from me. Before I even had a chance to feel bereft, his hands gripped the waistband of my pants. He jerked them forcefully down my hips to my ankles, taking my panties down right along with them. I instinctively stepped out of them to stand naked before him.
"Get up on the bed on your hand and knees," he growled out demandingly. "I want to taste you. I want to fuck you with my tongue until you scream."
Oh fuck yes. I scrambled up onto the bed and did as I was told. I peeked back over my shoulder, and my breath caught at the sight of him. His upper body was stunning. The warm glow of the bedside lamp highlighted hard sinewy muscles that bulged in all the right places from his wide massive shoulders to the sharply defined six-pack of his taut belly. He was utter masculine perfection.
I held my breath as I watched him toe off his shoes, then unbuckle his belt and open his pants. He pushed them and his boxer briefs down over his hips and let them fall to the floor. I stared unabashedly at his cock as he stepped out of his clothes and kicked them aside. I gasped. My God, he was so thick and long and beautiful, and I couldn't wait for him to pierce me, to spread me open wide and fill up that empty feeling inside me that only he could soothe.
He growled deep in his chest, and I looked up to see dark male satisfaction glowing in his fiery blue eyes. He leaned over me and pressed a firm hand between my shoulders, the tip of his cock brushing against the back of my thigh as he pushed my upper body down onto the bed.
"Don't move," he snarled into my ear, then knelt on the floor behind me and grabbed my ass in his hands, rubbing and squeezing my flesh with an appreciative groan. Without thinking, I arched my back and started to lift myself up onto my hands again. Suddenly, he swatted my right ass cheek with a sharp and stinging slap. I yelped in surprise and dropped my head back down to the bed.
"I said, don't move," he said in a harsh and clipped tone through clenched teeth.
His palm rubbed my still burning skin, and the pain began to morph into sweet and warm liquid bliss. I closed my eyes and moaned uncontrollably. What the hell was he doing to me? Before I could even try to formulate an answer to that question, his face was between my legs, burrowing in close and inhaling a long and shuddering breath. He hummed in appreciation, the vibration making my pussy clench needily.
"You smell like heaven, Ella," he said huskily. His tongue brushed teasingly over me, making me whimper. "You taste even better," he said in a deeper voice dripping with desire.
A long low growl bubbled up out of him, and then he dove in with eager enthusiasm, growling in appreciation as his lips and tongue brought me to the edge of an orgasm, again and again and again. Each time I got close to my release, he brought me back down leaving me wanting and unfulfilled as I mewled and whined pathetically. Frustration built and built with each denial of pleasure until I couldn't take it any longer, My body trembled and shivered with need as I began to beg, loudly and shamelessly.
"Please!" I wailed out in desperation. "Please let me come, Calder. Please!"
"Good girl," he growled out smugly against my swollen sex.
I'd finally given him what he wanted all along. The bastard wanted me to beg. Before I could manage to start cursing at him for torturing me, his stiffened tongue was plunging into me. Just like he promised, he began fucking me with it, hard and fast. I cried out as I immediately hit the edge of another release, and I feared he'd leave me hanging yet again.
Instead, to my surprise and relief, his lips suddenly latched onto my clit, and he began to suck for all he was worth. I was so worked up that my orgasm hit me like a detonation, exploding out from my core through every nerve in my body with blistering heat. Oh my God, it was incredible. I'd never felt anything like it. Every fiber of my being was nothing but pure mindless pleasure, and all I could do was scream and grip the comforter as it washed over me in a rush.
When I finally came back down, Calder was standing up behind me. He leaned over me to put his lips next to my ear, and he felt so good pressed against my back with his big hands holding onto my hips. I sighed contentedly.
"Do you want me to use a condom?" he asked calmly, but I could hear a slight strain in his voice and feel his body tremble against mine. "I'm clean, but I will if you want me to."
I blinked, trying to clear my head and focus past the lust still blazing through my body. I shook my head. "I'm...I'm clean, and I have an IUD," I somehow managed to reply.
Until last night, I hadn't had sex in well over a year, not since Ray lost interest in having it with me. Before that, I'd always been tested regularly for fear Ray might give me something since I knew he wasn't faithful. I was beyond grateful that he never did.
"Good," he growled out.
Then he straightened as his right hand slid around from my hip to my sex, his fingers gliding through my wetness for a moment. His hand drifted away, only to be replaced by the head of his cock rubbing over me. I whimpered in impatience and wiggled my hips as I began raising my upper body off the mattress. Immediately, two hard slaps landed on my ass, leaving my skin stinging and burning hotly as I yelped loudly.
"Did I say you could move, Ella?" he barked out fiercely.
I frantically shook my head. He spanked me yet again.
"Answer me with words," he demanded.
"N...n...no," I stuttered out.
"Good girl," he practically purred as his palm began rubbing soothing circles over my burning skin, turning my pain into pleasure again.
What the hell? Shouldn't I be angry right about now? Ray had spanked me during sex before, but it never felt like this, never turned me on like this. Before I could gather anymore thoughts, the head of his penis was at my entrance yet again. This time he pushed slowly into my body, opening me up and penetrating me so sweetly that it pulled a long moan of bliss out of me. It felt so full, so right as he filled me up until his hips touched my ass, and then he stopped. His fingers dug into me, and he practically convulsed behind me as he fought for control.
"Fuck, Ella," he groaned out in an almost pained voice. "You feel so good."
"Yes, yes, yes," I replied in a helpless whimper, shaking as I fought to be still like I knew he wanted.
He pulled back almost all the way out, and before I could protest, he snarled and slammed back into me with an almost teeth rattling thrust. Oh shit. A loud wail burst out of me as I came, pleasure streaking through me in an overwhelming rush. Oh yes. He thrust again and sent me flying higher, screaming louder. Oh fuck.
"That's right, my lovely," Calder growled out. "Take the pleasure I give you. Take it all, Ella." He thrust into me yet again, so hard I saw stars sparkle across my vision. "Fuck, yes."
He quickened his pace now, harder, deeper, stronger, and I came again. When it ebbed, he changed the angle of his thrusts and deepened them, finding a spot deep inside me that ratcheted my next release to a whole other level that I never knew existed. This orgasm blew me away, my insides contracting and squeezing down on his cock like a vice as my mind splintered apart.
I was no longer sad pathetic Ella, no longer a struggling and broke single mother, no longer a widow to a horrible tyrant of a man. In this moment, I was pure unadulterated pleasure with no worries or cares beyond the here and now that felt so much better than anything I'd ever known.
Calder bellowed and shuddered above me with his own massive release as mine brought me spiraling back down to earth to land in the safe cocoon of his strong and powerful embrace. I vaguely registered him lifting me up to drape my now limp and sated body across his warm solid chest and hold me close. I heard him whisper soft words of blissful satisfaction into my ear as his heart poun
ded out a steady rhythm under my ear. Then I slipped away and finally succumbed to sweet and beautiful oblivion.
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
____________________
Calder
I watched the amber liquid start to bubble, the open flame underneath the metal spoon licking along its underside as the familiar and acrid scent of heroin irritated my nose. An instant later, I felt the bite of the electrical cord into my skin as I wrapped it around my upper arm in a tight tourniquet. I watched the vein in the crook of my elbow rise and plump up under my already scarred and sallow skin.
Then there was a syringe in my hand, a drop of fluid beading on the tip of the needle, the instrument of my release and the instrument of my destruction. I watched in helpless horror as I brought the needle down toward my skin, not wanting to do this, but powerless to stop myself. I tensed for the sharp sting of the needle, for the wash of mind-numbing euphoria that would soon follow, knowing it only meant I'd want to do it again, knowing it would be the end of me.
"Please, no," I begged fearfully. "I don't want this, not anymore. I don't want to die. Please."
A hand came out of nowhere and grabbed mine, stopping me just before the needle pricked my skin. Another took the syringe from my shaking hand and took it away. The clean scent of citrus filled my nose, banishing the sickening smell of heroin, banishing the unbearable pain that racked my dope sick body, banishing the fear.
"No," a sweet and gentle voice spoke into my ear. Steel blue eyes and a warm reassuring smile appeared in front of me. "You don't need that," she said. "You have me."
"No, I don't," I answered desolately. "You left me. I have nothing. I have no one."
I started to sob and couldn't stop, feeling lost and so alone. I hurt deep inside again, but this time it had nothing to do with withdrawal and everything to do with a broken and battered heart. I pulled away from her, curling into myself. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted oblivion. I wanted the needle and syringe back.
Taming Rough Waters Page 12
