"But-" she began, but I crushed my lips against hers and cut her off with a deep fiery kiss.
She needed to stop thinking, stop worrying, and let it go for now. I knew just how to help her do that. I knew how to let go of some of the lingering resentment in my heart too. It wouldn't assuage it completely, nor all of Ella's guilt, but I knew it would be a step in the right direction for both of us. It would help bind us back together and begin to heal our wounded hearts.
I kissed her into insensibility before I ended it with a low growl, then stood with her nestled safely in my arms and walked into the house. I carried her through the living room to the stairs, and when I headed down to the basement instead of upstairs, Ella questioned where we were going.
"I'm going to make you mine now, Ella," I explained in a deep rumble that was heavily laden with lust and love. "I'm going to claim you in every way, make you forget about the past and stop worrying about the future. None of that matters right now. The only thing that does is the here and now, and the pleasure and the release we can give each other."
"I need that, Cal," she replied as relief flooded her eyes. "I need that more than anything right now."
"I know, my lovely Ella," I replied as I carried her down the stairs to the playroom that I hadn't touched in so long, that now inexplicably seemed to be meant for just us all along. "I know, baby."
CHAPTER
THIRTY
____________________
Calder
I set Ella down on her feet at the bottom of the stairs and turned to the closed door that Violet had tried to open a few hours ago. I was beyond grateful that I kept it locked at all times. I shuddered to think about that kid walking into my playroom and seeing what was inside. No thanks. I couldn't imagine trying to find a G-rated way to explain it to her. I punched in the numeric code to unlock the door and ushered Ella inside, flipping on the lights as I followed her in. I pulled the door firmly closed behind us, and made sure it was locked again.
Ella stopped a few feet in and looked around the room. I didn't decorate this playroom as dramatically as my gold and black playroom at Désir Dangereux. I'd kept it simple with chocolate walls, dark mahogany versions of the same BDSM furniture, and some pops of deep red in the bedding and the vegan leather upholstery. It was cozy and inviting, yet was underscored with a dark kinky edge that I liked.
Ella turned and smiled at me in amusement. "This room's private, huh?" she asked with a smirk and a hint of arousal glittering in her beautiful steel blue eyes.
"And thankfully locked," I said with a grimace. I gave her a worried look. "Violet won't wake up and come looking for us will she?" I imagined Violet pounding on the door while Ella and I played in here. Yikes. Talk about a mood killer.
"No," she answered immediately with a shake of her head. "She's a heavy sleeper like me, especially after a long day like today. She'll be out cold until morning."
"Good," I replied in a low and sensual rumble as I moved closer to her. "Because I have lots of plans for you."
"You do?" she asked softly, the desire in her eyes deepening and now coloring her tone.
I moved right into her personal space and pulled her close with one hand on her hip, and the other wrapped firmly and possessively around the back of her neck. I tilted her head to the side and leaned in close until my lips touched the shell of her perfect ear.
"Oh yes," I whispered seductively, making her shiver with obvious delight.
I slid my lips caressingly across her cheek toward her lips, breathing in her clean citrus scent and enjoying the feel of her soft body against mine. My mouth found hers and I licked along the seam of her lips, seeking entry. She moaned softly and opened for me. I instantly plunged my tongue into her mouth and had my way with her, tasting and exploring every inch of her. Mine, mine, mine, my brain chanted as I growled deeply and kissed her harder still, nipping and suckling, taking and giving. I glided the hand on her hip up under her shirt. Her body quaked when I touched her bare skin. It was so warm and soft, so silky. My cock stiffened where it was pressed between us. I wanted her so much, needed her so much. Fierce emotions swirled around inside me, making my heart sing as sweet elation flooded my body.
"I love you, Ella," I murmured against her lips between kisses, feeling the truth of my words down deep in my soul.
"I love you, Cal," she whispered breathlessly.
I let out a long slow cathartic breath. I'd missed this emotional connection with her, missed it so much. I didn't even realize, until now, just how lost and lonely I'd been all this time. The last twelve years without her were such a waste, a tragedy. The bitter resentment began to worm its way back into my heart. I needed to banish it, put it away and let it go for good just as much as Ella needed to let go of her guilt. Tonight I would begin to make that happen.
I abruptly released my hold on her and stepped away, leaving her glassy-eyed and swaying a little. I snapped my fingers to get her attention. She met my gaze, and a few moments later finally managed to focus on me.
"Strip and kneel, my lovely," I told her commandingly as I pointed to the large chocolate brown rug that covered the dark hardwood floor in the center of the room.
"Yes, sir," she immediately answered and began lifting her shirt over her head.
Her ready obedience soothed me, pleased me. She was a natural submissive. I was glad she'd never given that part of herself to her dead husband. This part of her was mine alone, just like her virginity was mine to take so many years ago. He didn't deserve this gift, didn't deserve her. He deserved the fate he'd been handed and good riddance to the bastard.
I watched with heated eyes as she undressed and folded her clothes neatly on the upholstered bench that sat at the foot of the bed. She dropped to her knees in the center of the thick plush rug, arching her back and spreading her legs to present her body to me. I hummed in satisfaction that she remembered the position that I preferred my submissives in. I took a moment to admire the line of her slender neck, the soft swell of her gorgeous breasts, the taper of her narrow waist, the flare of her luscious hips, and the sheer perfection between her legs. My Ella was flawless.
"Good girl," I said in approval, and her face warmed with pride.
I lifted the sweatshirt I was wearing up over my head and walked around her to place it on the bench next to her clothes. Then I pulled off my shoes and socks, and tucked them under the bench. I came up behind her, now dressed only in black athletic pants, and gently touched her hair.
"From now on, you will call me Master, not sir," I told her firmly. "Do you know why, my lovely Ella?"
She nodded immediately. "Yes, sir, I mean, Master. Because I belong to you. Because I'm yours."
"Yes," I said. I leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Just like I'm yours," I added in a husky whisper. I'd never let a sub call me Master before, had never wanted that kind of connection or commitment before, but now it felt right, like it was meant to be. We belonged to each other.
I straightened and sucked in a shaking breath as sweet relief fell over me. For the last few hours, I'd been lying in my bed wide awake and drowning in the pain of what I thought was Ella's second rejection. With that pain, came the heroin cravings, the bone deep longing for the release and the mind-numbing euphoria that blanked out the pain and the rest of the world along with it. I shuddered at the thought of my near relapse. The need was so strong this time, and I'd wanted it more than my next breath. If Ella hadn't stopped me, I'd be scoring some heroin right now. I'd have probably been overdosing not long after. Thank God for her. Thank God she was mine again, and the pain that triggered the cravings was gone. Now, I craved something else, her body and soul, her pleasure and pain, her complete submission. I would not be denied. I would have it all.
I circled in front of her and reached a hand down to her. "Up now, my lovely," I said in a firm commanding voice.
She rose gracefully to her feet, and I led her over to the spanking bench. She eyed it worriedly. It was made of heavy d
ark-stained wood with a lower red vegan leather cushion for her knees, and a second higher cushion to drape her torso across. Eye hooks were strategically placed on the sides of the bench's legs for restraints to be attached.
"You'll need a safeword tonight," I told her. "We'll keep it simple. Red to stop everything. Yellow if you need to slow down. Green if you're good or want more. You will use them immediately if you need to."
"Yes, Master," she replied hesitantly, her attention still fixed on the bench.
I snapped my fingers loudly. "Eyes on me," I said sharply.
Ella startled and met my gaze with wild eyes.
"Do you trust me, Ella?" I asked her sternly.
Her face softened and her eyes gentled with affection. "With all my heart, Master."
A full body tremor shook through me at her words. No sub had answered that question with such heartfelt conviction and sincerity, or looked at me like that before. I knew in my heart that Ella was it for me, the last sub and the last woman I'd ever have or need.
"Good girl," I said in a hoarse whisper as my emotions threatened to unman me. With an effort of will, I tamed them and let the Dom in me take over, the mantle of power settling over me in a comforting wave that made me feel strong and invincible. "Get on the bench," I demanded sternly, my voice even and calm now.
This time her face was serene as I helped her climb onto the bench. She draped herself over it with a contented sigh, her glorious and shapely ass presented for me to admire and abuse in a good way, a way I planned to do tonight. I left her lying there and walked to the long rack mounted on the nearby wall that held a large collection of whips, floggers, paddles, and other toys. I grabbed four faux leather cuffs with chains attached and brought them back over to Ella. Her eyes followed me with fearless trust as I restrained her wrists and ankles to the bench. I was already hard as a rock as lust pounded through my veins, aroused by the heady drug of her trust and submission.
I returned to the rack and selected my toy of choice for the night, blocking her view with my body. I turned and hid it behind my back before returning to her side. I reached out to fist the hair on the back of her head in my hand in a firm grip, arching her neck a little as I gave her a hard stare. She let out a tiny whimper as her body went limp, her eyes softening in instinctive submission. Yes. I pulled the twelve-inch long rosewood paddle from behind my back and held it up for her to see. She focused on it, and then her eyes gleamed with a sudden frisson of fear, her pupils dilating with unmistakable lust and need.
"You deserve to be punished for leaving me," I said in a low threatening voice. "Don't you, my lovely Ella?"
"Yes, Master," she answered breathily, staring at the rectangular paddle longingly.
"You will receive twelve strokes for each year you were gone, and you will count each one," I said in a fierce and uncompromising tone. "Then you will beg for your master's forgiveness and promise never to leave him again. Do you understand?"
Her eyes widened in realization, and then stark relief filled her eyes. "Yes, Master. Please, Master," she said pleadingly, arching her back and writhing against her restraints on the bench. She wanted this, needed this, as much as I did. We needed this to let go of the past, and then we could move forward together.
I gave her forehead a gentle kiss, and smiled at her. "Good girl," I said in a pleased tone. "Now, let's get you warmed up, my lovely
I released her hair and circled around behind her, then reached out to glide my right hand over the globe of her right ass cheek. Her skin was so smooth and soft. Lust ratcheted up inside me, heating my blood and burning through my entire body. I grabbed a handful of her ass and squeezed. She moaned softly, and my dick twitched and throbbed. I took a shaking breath to calm myself before I ripped off my pants and thrust balls deep into her right now. We'd get to that later.
I relaxed my fingers and caressed her for a moment more, before pulling my hand away and giving her a quick swat. She made a low appreciative noise, and I grinned. I moved my hand between her legs and touched her soft folds. She was already wet and swollen, and a deep groan rumbled up out of my chest. I gave her another swat, then touched her sex again. Yes. She was even wetter now. I found her swollen little nub with a fingertip and circled it slowly. She gasped and writhed on the spanking bench, her back arching and her ass wriggling hypnotically.
I began spanking her with more force, fondling her labia and clit in between. She loved it, her body quaking and thrumming with desire as she moaned and mewled wantonly. I continued that way for several minutes more, increasing the force of my blows and bringing her frustratingly close to the edge of orgasm again and again, before I finally stopped and switched the paddle to my right hand. I slowly rubbed the smooth cool wood over her buttocks. She sighed, her body now limp and languid, and her ass colored a faint pink. Oh, yes, she was primed and ready now. It was time to turn that ass bright fucking red.
I trailed my left hand up her spine leaving gooseflesh in my wake as I continued sliding the paddle over her ass. When I reached her head, I grabbed her hair in my fist again and held her down firmly on the bench.
"Tell me how you're doing, my lovely," I commanded her.
"I'm green, Master," she said in a contented voice as her dreamy eyes met mine. "So green, Cal."
"Are you ready for your punishment now?" I asked, my voice rough with lust and eager with anticipation.
"Yes, Master," came her immediate and unwavering reply.
An instant later, I brought the paddle down hard on her ass with a loud satisfying thud that I knew would deliver a fiery sting. She cried out, the chains of her restraints rattling as the blow jolted through her body.
"Count, Ella," I snapped out harshly. "Count, or you'll get a dozen more."
"One!" she gasped out between panting breaths as I watched a vivid red rise up on her right ass cheek where the paddle had struck. It was so beautiful, so glorious. I wanted more, but not just yet.
"Tell me your color," I said to check in with her. I needed to know if it was too much for her. We'd kind of gone from zero to sixty with our second time playing together. As much as both of us needed this, I didn't truly wish to hurt her. This was meant to be more symbolic than anything. She was still panting heavily, her eyes a little wild, but she managed to answer me.
"Green!" she blurted out pleadingly, her gaze desperate now. "Please give me all of them! Please! I deserve it!"
"Yes," I growled out. "Yes, you do."
I spanked her left cheek with the paddle now, the strike swift and fierce.
"Two!" she screamed.
I gave her the next four in quick succession, her voice rising and growing hoarse with each number she called out. I was beyond grateful I'd had the walls soundproofed, or no doubt Violet would have heard us.
I paused after the sixth stroke to let her catch her breath and to study her more closely. Her eyes were beginning to droop, and she was moaning softly as her body lie languid over the bench. Good. That meant her endorphins were kicking in now. I glanced down between her legs to see her glistening and dripping with arousal. Oh yes, my Ella loved the pain as much as I loved giving it to her. My dick twitched and throbbed achingly. I needed to be inside her very soon.
"You color, Ella," I demanded just to be sure she was still alright.
"Green, Master," she answered in a soft and contented voice. "Green, green, green."
I nodded. "Good girl," I replied. My eyes drifted down to her beautifully reddened ass. It was time to finish this, so I could claim her once and for all as mine. I let go of her hair and placed my hand at the small of her back to hold her still. I touched the paddle to her buttocks and circled it softly over her skin, then abruptly struck her ass with the seventh stroke.
"Seven," she called out with a gasp.
Within moments, she counted the eighth, the ninth, the tenth, and the eleventh stroke as I meted them out equally between each cheek. I pulled in a deep breath as I took a moment to sooth her abused flesh with my left
hand.
Her skin was a lurid crimson, her body thrumming with arousal as her juices dripped down her inner thighs. Her pussy was swollen and ready for me. One more stroke and I'd claim her body. I'd finish giving her the pain she longed for, and then I'd give her the pleasure she'd earned in spades. I pulled my arm back and struck once more, the paddle landing across both cheeks with a loud thwack that I felt travel up my arm.
"Twelve!" she cried out, her tone equal parts pain and relief.
I dropped the paddle and moved my hand down to her pussy. I found her perfect little clit with my thumb and forefinger, and pinched it firmly. She wailed out her climax as it blew through her in an instant. Her back arched and her head rose off the bench, her entire body quaking with the force of it. By the time she came down, I was already removing the cuffs from her wrists and ankles. I gathered her pleasure spent body into my arms and carried her toward the bed.
"I'm sorry, Master," she whispered softly as her head lulled against my chest. "I'm sorry I left you. I'm so sorry."
I laid her on the deep red comforter and looked down at her. Her eyes were glassy, red-rimmed, and filled with remorse.
"I...I promise I'll never leave you again as long as I live. I promise. Please forgive me, Cal. Please." Tears welled up and trickled down her temples and into her flaxen hair.
I leaned in to press a sweet kiss to her forehead. "I forgive you, Ella," I whispered against her soft skin. I pulled back and looked at her again. "I forgive you," I repeated once more with conviction.
I watched peace flow across her face, pushing away the storm of uncertainty and guilt that she'd been carrying for so long. The resentment in my heart began to dwindle, suddenly becoming meaningless in the face of my love for this woman who had somehow against all odds found her way back to me.
"I love you," I said, the truth of my words solid and undeniable. "I love you," I said again, this time with fierce vehemence.
A wide joyous smile spread across her gorgeous mouth. "I love you too," she whispered as more tears fell, but this time they were happy ones.
Taming Rough Waters Page 22
