by Maggie Way
Jolene let out the breath she’d been holding and reached for Bennett’s hand. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the sight of her two best friends kissing. They loved each other. How did I miss this?
Bennett looked up at Jolene and reached for her hand. With his gaze still on her, he rose to his feet and cupped the side of her face and kissed her. The warmth from his mouth spread through her until she melted into his embrace.
“Excuse me. Sorry to break this up.”
Jolene broke the kiss and turned towards the voice, the pastor, who would be marrying them. Jolene smiled back at the woman dressed in white vestment and a navy blue stole. Will snaked his arm around Mary’s waist and stepped aside to let the woman inside.
“This has been quite a day, hasn't it?” Pastor Schroeder glanced at her watch. “I know I’m very late. I apologize. Traffic is pretty hectic with all the stuff going on. The radio said schools are letting parents pick up their kids so everyone is out on the road. But I’m here now and so are you.”
The pastor glanced at Mary and Will. “You have enough witnesses.”
Will laughed. “Jo-Jo’s folks just need to be dragged out of the closet.”
Mary elbowed him hard in the ribs. Served him right! Her parent’s actions, at her wedding no less, appalled her. Had they no shame?
“So, if you’re still wanting to do this, we can,” Pastor Schroeder said.
Bennett tightened his hold on her. “Yes, ma’am. We would like that very much.”
Pastor Schroeder clasped her hands together. “Oh good! Let’s get you two kids married then.”
Chapter Ten
St. Paul’s Methodist Church
September 11, 2001
12:00 PM
Jolene touched up her makeup and smoothed out her dress and veil. In a few moments, she would be Mrs. Jolene Brown. Her mind whirled. She wanted to enjoy this small moment, but all she could think about were the families who lost their loved ones. How could she celebrate when so many would be mourning?
Karen’s phone began to ring. Everyone turned to surround her. “It’s my mom.” She took off out of the church to answer the call and Amy followed along.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Mary said. “It’s just I wasn’t sure if I was going to keep the baby and didn’t want anyone to know, even you until I knew what I was going to do about it.”
While it made logical sense to her, Jolene still felt left out. She and Mary always told each other everything. But Mary never said a word about Will or the pregnancy.
“How far along are you?”
“Eight weeks.”
Jolene did the math and recalled two months ago, a bunch of them rented a condo in Rockport. The men fished most of the trip, but Jolene and Bennett spent a lot of time locked up in their room. Apparently, so had her friends. “The Rockport trip?”
Mary paused and took in a shallow breath and shrugged. “Maybe.”
Maybe?
“How long—”
“A year.”
“A year! You’ve been sleeping with Will for a year?” Jolene couldn’t believe her ears. “And you never thought to mention it to me?”
“It’s not like we were dating.”
“What...so friends with benefits kind of thing?”
“I guess, but things started to change. A few months ago, he wanted to be exclusive and I didn’t. So, we took a break from each other.”
“But then you found out you got pregnant.”
“Yeah.” Mary let out a loud exhalation through her nose and crossed her arms over her chest. “I didn’t even want him to know, but he figured it out and started to propose and all this shit and I panicked…”
“And what, decided to get drunk and blow a stripper to get your mind off it all?”
Mary’s cheeks stained red and her lips pursed together to form an angry line. “First, I didn’t drink. It was ginger ale. Second, yes, I did blow Dean and I regretted it.”
“Yeah, so much so that you jumped into bed with him later.”
“Where do you get off judging me? For your information, I didn’t sleep with him. We stayed up half the night talking about how I’m cursed and broken.”
“So, you could tell a male prostitute about your problems, but you can’t tell me?”
“He’s not a prostitute. He’s a dancer and he isn’t going to judge me…”
Jolene stepped back with her hands on her hips. Her friend’s words cut her to the quick. She never judged her actions...did she? That’s not the kind of friend she wanted to be that’s for sure. If Mary felt like she couldn’t talk to her then maybe she needed to be more aware of her actions and responses. She dropped her hands to her side and her shoulders slumped and rolled forward. The fight, which moments before raged through her, left her. “You think I judge you?” Her voice croaked, barely above a whisper as she tried not to cry and ruin her makeup again.
Mary looked away, hugging herself. “Yes. I think you do. If I had told you about this thing with Will you would have made a big deal out of it. Tried to play match-maker, even though I didn’t want a relationship with him.”
Jolene wrung her hands and bit her bottom lip to keep herself from speaking without thinking first. She didn’t want to make things worse; she loved Mary and couldn’t imagine not having her friend in her life. “Mary, I’m sorry. I never want you to feel like you can’t talk to me. Or feel like I am judging you. I love you and want you to be happy.”
Mary sighed and let her arms fall to her side. “I know ya mean well, Jo, but sometimes you’re hard to talk to.”
Jolene sucked in a breath, trying not to cry. “Mary—”
Mary held up her hand. “We don’t need to talk about it right now. It is what it is.”
Amy and Karen traipsed into the foyer arm-in-arm. Karen smiled despite the tears that fell down her cheeks. “He’s okay. He missed his cab. He was supposed to be there at 8:30, but he over-slept and missed his car and then he couldn’t grab a cab. He’s okay!”
Jolene hugged Karen and the rest joined in until they were clutching each other in a group embrace. From inside the chapel the piano started to play Pachelbel’s Canon in D.
Jolene’s father peeked his head in through the double doors. “You ready?”
Jolene couldn’t look her father in the eye, not after the whole closet debacle with her mother. She nodded and took the arm he offered her. Her best friends all lined up in front of her and started to walk down the aisle. From where she stood she could see the empty church pews with only a handful of family friends sitting in the pews up front. Not her dream wedding by any stretch of the imagination, but when she looked down to the front of the altar Bennett stood with his brothers and Will with a wide smile and nothing else mattered anymore.
Her father squeezed her hand as the piano shifted to the wedding march. They stood poised in the door frame as the guests rose to their feet and turned to look back at her.
“That’s our cue. Unless, of course, you don’t want to do this. In that case, I can bring the car around front and we can be out of here in a second.” Her father smiled and an array of fine lines hollowed his eyes and bracketed his wide smile.
“No, Daddy. I want to do this.”
Her father’s eyes began to water and he kissed her cheek. “Love you, sugar.”
“I love you, too, Daddy.”
When he turned away from her they took the first steps together towards her new life.
Chapter Eleven
St. Paul’s Methodist Church
September 11, 2001
12:30 PM
Pastor Schroeder held up her hands and addressed the small gathering. “Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to join these two people in holy matrimony. The uncertainty of the day and the fears we all harbor in our hearts are two of the reasons why it is so important to find joy in the darkness and to celebrate the power of love—the love we have for each other and the love these two people share.”
&n
bsp; Jolene’s heart swelled as Bennett squeezed her hands and smiled down at her. No matter what lay ahead they would find a way to traverse it together.
“God teaches us that love is patient and kind and does not delight in evil. Rather love protects, hopes and perseveres. Today I ask that everyone take the hand of the person beside you. Together we can fight back against the agents of hate and not allow that evil of fear, distrust, and anger into our hearts. Pray with me.”
Jolene bowed her head in prayer.
“Father in Heaven, you are our hope and refuge in times of distress--our ever-present help in trouble. We ask that you send down your holy spirit to bless this union and to bring peace and joy into the hearts of all who gather here today. In your son’s name, we pray, Amen.”
Jolene swallowed hard and blinked away the tears that she couldn’t hold back any longer. The pastor’s words began to fade into the background and she let herself get lost in Bennett’s smile. She tried to commit it all to memory. In less than twenty-four hours she would be shipping out to sea for six months. Her and the baby.
“I do.” Bennett slipped the ring on her finger.
“Do you, Jolene, take Bennett, to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the pastor asked.
Mary handed Jolene the ring to give to Bennett. She turned back to face him and place the simple gold band on his finger. “I do.”
“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you, husband and wife,” the pastor announced. “You may now kiss the bride.”
Bennett pulled Jolene up against him and cupped the back of her head. A shiver rippled through her as he kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and deepened the kiss. From far away she could hear the hoots and hollers from their small band of spectators. She felt a rush of heat spread across her skin, turning her pink. Bennett broke the kiss and let out a chuckle that warmed her further.
“How much longer until we can get away?” His whispered request and the heat in his gaze made her heart race in anticipation.
“Not soon enough,” she said.
He kissed her again and a sweep of his tongue let her know what was to come. She trembled from the effort of keeping herself composed as the cheers around them grew.
“Save something for the wedding night, bro!” Will slapped Bennett on the back and they broke the kiss. The pianist, Bennett’s little sister, Tina, began to play again and the wedding party charged down the aisle and out of the church.
Outside the sun shone bright and the warm, balmy air hit her skin and made her feel alive. Everyone followed them out of the church and looked up into the plane-less sky. The empty quiet in the air and on the ground left her with a surreal feeling. Bennett grabbed her arm and brought her back into his embrace. When his lips met hers, she sighed. Aside from all the tragedy and drama of the day, she knew she would always remember that day, that moment, and the kiss on the steps.
Chapter Twelve
St. Paul’s Methodist Church
September 11, 2001
1:00 PM
The church’s back banquet hall with its simple decorations turned out to be a perfect space for their somber reception. Despite the celebratory nature of the gathering, the weight of the day quieted the guests. The speaker system pumped out some classic tunes, but no one danced. The caterer had dropped the food and the cake off before the planes hit the towers, otherwise they might not have any food. Small mercies.
Bennett’s arm rested on the back of her chair as he chatted with Will about the events of the day and what they might mean. The news reports didn’t give any new information and thankfully, it seemed there might not be any more attacks. Or at least they hoped not. The not knowing made for a constant tension that made it difficult for anyone to relax. When Kendall made a comment about no hot girls being at the wedding, Will slugged him hard in the arm.
“William!” Bennett’s mother’s tone made them all jump.
“Yes, Mama Brown.” Will stared up at Bennett’s mom with his big brown eyes looking as innocent as can be.
“Boy, you aren’t too old for me to take you over my knee.”
Bennett snickered but tried to hide it from his mother. He knew better than to laugh at her when she was mid-scolding. Under her hateful glare, Will turned bright red and hid his face in his napkin. “Yes, ma’am”
Jolene’s mother-in-law narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, but didn’t say another word. She didn’t need to. The woman could say a million words with one look. When she turned her powerful gaze onto Jolene and Bennett, her husband reached for her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“Mama,” Bennett said.
“Bennett Brown, come and give your mama some sugar.” Her expression softened. Bennett, ever the dutiful son, got up from his seat and went around the table to hug and kiss his mother on the cheek. She smiled wide and grabbed her son’s face and gave it a squeeze. “You look very handsome, baby.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t be a stranger now. I expect you at my table every Sunday after church. Every Sunday. You hear?” After a short pause, she continued. “You can bring your… wife too… I suppose.”
“How very generous of you.” Bennett gave her a teasing smile.
His mother tried to hide the smile that crept up at the corners of her mouth, but she wasn’t fooling anyone, including her son. He bent and kissed her again on the cheek. “I love you, mama. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll see you on Sunday after church.”
“I’ll make smothered pork chops and greens.”
“Sounds good, Mama.”
She watched as his mother hugged him around the middle and looked up at him with a wide smile. “I’d better get going. It’s a long drive.”
Bennett hugged her back. “I’ll walk you to your car.” Bennett glanced over his shoulder at Jolene and gave her a little wink. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere”
Jolene sat back in her chair and watched her husband walk away. A warm glow spread out from her chest. She couldn’t love the man anymore if she tried. Bennett always helped everyone; he was the glue that held his family together after his father passed away. He was the one who ran coat and canned food drives every year at his church and the one who played the piano at his grandfather’s retirement home every Christmas. His selflessness inspired her to be better. Of course, he didn’t get upset about the change in plans the baby would create. He always saw the best in everything. Her own fears and feelings of inadequacy continued to plague her, but she tried to push them aside and have faith that things would work out for the better.
“May I have this dance?”
Jolene looked up to see her father staring down at her. His eyes shown the glassy sheen of unshed tears.
“Of course.”
Her father took her by the hand and led her to the empty dance floor. As they danced she recalled how her parents used to go to ballroom dancing clubs and once won an award. She didn’t know how to process their indiscretion in the closet and didn’t really want to ask so she kept it to herself. As the song ended he opened his mouth like he might say something, but quickly closed it and looked away.
Thankfully their awkward dance didn’t last long. Will came up and tapped her father on the shoulder. “May I cut in?”
“Of course.” Her father handed her off and walked away to the table her mother sat at.
“Well, today sure has been interesting.”
Jolene laughed. “I guess that’s one way of putting it.”
“I’m sorry you found out the way that you did,” Will said.
“I’m sure she had her reasons for not telling me.”
“Maybe she did, but I think she needs a friend to talk to. And she’s made it very clear that she really doesn’t want that friend to be me anymore,” Will said.
Jolene worked over in her mind the whole situation. She couldn’t help but wonder what Will wanted out of the relationship. “You said you loved her.”
Will’s cheeks turned red and a shy sm
ile curled at the corners of his. “I do, Jo. I love her very much, but she doesn’t want that from me right now. I know it must all seem so petty. After everything that happened today, how can I be upset over this when people are dying?”
“Their sadness doesn’t negate yours. As for Mary, well, she’ll come around. She always does.” Jolene hoped her words would reassure him. She wanted them both to be happy. “Just give her time.”
Will wet his lips and looked away from her. She followed his gaze, which fell on Mary. Her friend sat alone at the table sipping her water. “All I’ve got is time.”
“Hey, man.” Bennett patted his best man on the back. “You trying to steal my wife?”
“She’s all yours,” Will said.
Jolene watched as he walked away and out of the hall. She wished there was something she could do to fix the rift between them. Bennett must have read her mind because he tugged her close and whispered in her ear. “Let it go, love. They need to figure this out on their own.”
“I hate to see them fighting. Especially with everything going on. Don’t they see how short life is?”
“Let it go. I don’t want to spend our last couple of hours together playing matchmaker.” Bennett nuzzled her neck and held her close.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She gave him her full attention, pushing aside her worries and concerns.
“Mmm...now that’s better.” He left a trail of kisses down her neck and across her bare shoulder making her shiver. “Now that I have your attention.” He brought his lips down to hers and drew her up against him. “I love you, Jo and I couldn’t be more thrilled about the baby.”
Jolene tightened her hold on him. “I want to be excited, but I’m scared. It’s not what we planned and I’m going to be a terrible mother. What do I know about kids?”
