by Maggie Way
“You alright?” he asked, stepping around the machine and crouching next to her.
“Fine. Just, well, I stood up too fast, got a little dizzy after all that vigorous rowing.” Vigorous? Maddie wasn’t aware that word was in her vocabulary.
“Let me get you some water. Don’t move.” Hot Shirtless Guy moved across the room like a man on a mission, filling a paper cup at the water dispenser before returning to Maddie’s sprawl. “Drink it slowly,” he advised, holding the cup to her lips.
What she wanted to do was toss the water in her face to snap out of this crazy attraction. This man wasn’t her type. Maddie was smart, educated, and she was not looking for a man. Even if she was, this one, all glorious muscles and firm skin, would never be interested in a stress-eater still twenty-pounds over her ideal weight and who didn’t know the proper technique on a rowing machine.
But she followed his command again, taking slow slips until the water was gone.
“Think you can stand?” he asked, still crouching next to her.
“I’m fine, really,” she insisted, which earned her a smile. The man had dimples a girl could fall into and never find her way out.
He held out his hand. Maddie stared at the lines on his calloused palm, wondering what he did to make them so rough and appealing.
“Let me help you up,” he offered, snapping her out of a fantasy-infused daze about what those hands might be capable of.
Craving his touch, Maddie gripped his hand and the energy that surged into her pulled her right off the floor. Maybe it was his strength, or maybe both, but it left her unbalanced and falling against his chest again. Her hand was pressed right against where that tattoo decorated his chest and she traced the lines she couldn’t see, imagining her fingers caressing the inked skin without the cotton there.
When his muscles flexed beneath her fingers, Maddie realized she was groping him without invitation. “Sorry,” she muttered, stepping back and hoping she was flushed enough from the workout that he didn’t recognize her burning cheeks as an embarrassing blush.
The man continued to smile. His eyes sparked as if he knew Maddie was mentally undressing and fondling his very enticing body. She should say something, prove she was intelligent and educated, but the power of speech abandoned her, a crazy and uncontrolled desire possessing her body and rendering her stupid.
“Go … I need to go,” she stuttered, shaking her head at the stupidity of her declaration. “Thanks for showing, um, teaching me proper technique. On the rower,” she pointed at the machine in case he forgot what a rower was and locked her jaw closed before humiliating herself further.
“Happy to help,” he drawled. “Any time you want me to show you proper technique, just holler.”
Maddie’s nipples responded with a silent plea, sending a surge of yes, please straight to her magical place. After squeezing her thighs together to ward off the arousal, she smiled and called upon her skills of self-preservation, scurrying off before his dimples and the rest of him did further damage to her muddled brain and needy body.
“Hot Shirtless Guy talked to me today,” Maddie confessed as she poured a cup of coffee. She should have been grounding herself in meditation in preparation for a full schedule of clients, but coffee and Rissy seemed to outweigh spiritual preparedness.
“And?” Clarissa Dean swooned before taking a sip of her coffee. They’d been best friends since diapers when their moms had joined the same mom and babes playgroup. Together with Maddie’s twin brother Matt, they’d been triple trouble, inseparable until Matt joined the army right after high school.
“I was on the rower and he told me I needed to pull the bar to my nipples.”
Coffee spewed from Clarissa’s mouth, the thick spray showering the kitchen floor.
“Well that was classy,” Maddie laughed as Clarissa tried to clear her throat. Maddie grabbed paper towels from the roller and handed them to her friend.
“He actually used the word nipples, out loud, in public?” Clarissa asked when she got a grip.
Maddie’s nipples popped to attention just thinking about the exchange. “Why is that so shocking? I use the word nipples, out loud, in public all the time.”
“Good point. You two must be kindred spirits.”
Maddie enjoyed her coffee as Clarissa cleaned up. When all evidence of the java explosion was erased, they went into the reception area. Maddie dropped into one chair and Clarissa the one directly across. This was their morning ritual, though it usually took place after Maddie prepared for the day. Today’s long, cold shower delayed things. “Why do I have to be attracted to a sweaty guy who doesn’t wear a shirt at the gym? I mean, it should be gross, right? All glistening with sweat and smelling like man. Except he doesn’t smell like gross man. He smells like take me to bed right now man.”
“You’re a hot mess,” Clarissa laughed as Maddie fanned herself.
She was beyond a hot mess. It’d been so long since a man had touched her, she forgot what that even felt like. After groping Hot Shirtless Guy’s pecs, Maddie was desperate for more contact of the physical variety. To her, skin to skin contact was as necessary as water and air. People connected differently at the molecular level, exchanging and sharing energy to promote emotional well-being. As a result of not allowing herself to date, Maddie had denied herself that connection with men, which was why she’d been so shocked by the potency of the man’s touch. He rocked her, not just sexually, but in every way possible. Since she hadn’t completed her personal transformation from comfort-eater and desperate dater, craving that kind of connection would send her head first into a tailspin of old habits and self-destruction.
“You’re the one who sprayed coffee all over the kitchen,” Maddie reminded Clarissa, trying to take the focus off her personal issues.
Clarissa shook her head. “Forgive me if nipple isn’t a regular part of my vocabulary. It’s a symptom of having a flat chest.”
“You don’t have a flat chest,” Maddie corrected.
“Pretty close. So what happened after he commented on your nipples?”
Maddie relayed the rest of the story, from grabbing his amazing pecs to tripping over the rower and stuttering like a fool.
Clarissa had to put her coffee on the table she was laughing so hard. Maddie tried to hold it in, but ended up laughing right along with her. “At least I didn’t choke on the water he made me drink,” she chortled.
“Is that why you were late this morning?” Clarissa asked. Normally, Maddie was in the office long before her friend arrived for coffee, but this morning they had pulled into the parking lot at the same time.
“I had to take a cold shower,” she admitted.
“I think you should ask him out. You’re taking control of your life. This self-imposed celibacy doesn’t have to completely cut you off from men.”
“You’re one to talk. When was the last time you dated?”
“I’m busy,” Clarissa said, her stern voice saying the topic was closed.
If Maddie had time, she’d step through that door and slam it shut, forcing Clarissa to admit why she wasn’t dating.
Maddie knew the answer. Every time Matt deployed, Maddie gained 15 pounds. It was no coincidence Clarissa turned into a workaholic. She and Matt may have split up all those years ago, but it didn’t take a degree in psychology or a clinical practice to surmise the truth. Clarissa was still in love with Matt.
Since Matt was still in love with Clarissa, something he also wouldn’t admit but that Maddie sensed all the way to her bones, it was a double dose of stupidity and stubbornness.
“I blame Matt,” Maddie sighed before taking a long sip of coffee.
Clarissa took a long drink of her coffee too, keeping eye contact but not saying a word. Maddie knew she hated talking about Matt, but as the best friend, she was supportive even though nearly ten years later, she was still nursing a broken heart.
“If he hadn’t joined the stupid army, you wouldn’t be looking at me like that a
nd I wouldn’t have gained 45 pounds.
“You’re a stress eater. You can’t blame that on your brother.”
“He’s not here, I can blame everything on him.”
Clarissa remained silent, so Maddie took another sip of coffee. She’d given up the sugar and creamer as a compromise to keep her morning elixir, but today coffee wasn’t going to be enough. “I need chocolate,” she sighed.
“I miss your brownies,” Clarissa sighed back.
Maddie missed them, too, as much as she missed dating. A comfort-eater who made amazing brownies, a skill she’d learned from her mother who was a stress-baker, was a lethal combination. To lose weight, Maddie had to give up baking. The only good thing about that, aside from losing 25 pounds so far, was spending more time with her horses. As a reward, she had taken all the money she saved on baking ingredients and put it into her new horse fund. The reward was about to pay off since she’d found the perfect horse to replace her chocolate addiction.
Chapter Two
Darren wished he was skilled like Brent Daniels. The man could wield a chainsaw as though it were a surgeon’s blade, carving and shaping the log from a mere stump into a fantastic statue. He’d been given the nickname Bear because that was the animal he’d originally carved, but now he did everything from eagles to dogs.
Whatever he was working on now, it was the early stages because Darren couldn’t recognize what the creature might be. He took a seat on the bench at the back of Bear’s workshop to watch the craftsman in action. In the winter, the man carved inside, but when it was nice enough out, like today, he carved outside, leaving the garage style doors open to air out the shop.
After a few minutes, Bear turned off the chainsaw and nodded at Darren. Darren held out the coffee he’d brought for his friend.
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” Darren asked.
Bear put the chainsaw down and lifted his safety goggles. “This sounds serious?”
“Sounds stupid, actually. Now that I said it out loud, I can’t even believe I asked you that question.”
Taking a seat next to Darren, Bear chuckled. “What’s her name? Where’d you meet her?” Bear was a good guy. He hardly ever smiled, and Darren suspected that was because he was nursing his own broken heart, even though he wouldn’t talk about it.
“I met her at the gym. I don’t know her name.” He’d been kicking himself for not asking.
“How can you meet a woman but not know her name?”
“She was working out. I helped her, and embarrassed her, I think.” Or maybe not. When he’d told her to pull the bar to her nipples, she simply raised her brow, but didn’t blush.
She did, however, blush when she tripped over the rower, and even more when she’d groped his chest.
“She’s there every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. She’s actually already working out by the time I get there at 5:30. It’s been about a month, I think. She’s lost quite a bit of weight.” Though Darren didn’t care about the weight. From the first moment he’d seen her, swearing as she pushed herself on the mountain climber, he’d wanted to talk to her. She was beautiful, but what caught Darren’s attention was her determination and dedication. She worked hard at the gym, but occasionally he caught her taking a break and staring at him. She wasn’t like most women, who looked away. Instead, she always held his gaze, as if challenging him to say something.
She was so damn pretty, Darren could never figure out the right thing to say. Even today, coaching her on the rower, seemed stupid. She probably took him for a dumb muscle head, but he couldn’t just walk up and say, ‘Hey, I’m a successful business man looking for a woman to share my life with. Want to have dinner?’
Her long brown hair — which happened to be same color as Cocoa’s dark bay coat — was always pulled back, and Darren’s fingers always twitched when he thought about running his fingers through the silky lengths. He imagined she’d bring him to his knees with her hair down. Then there was her perfect smile that held a hint of mischief, making Darren even more curious about her.
“I’m not the best source of advice on this sort of thing, but maybe you need to start by finding out her name. Then, you know, do something simple, like ask her out to dinner.”
Something simple. Darren thought about his sister, how young she was when her life ended, how many first dates she never got to experience. He refused to live his life in a bubble. It had been his vow when he found Tawnya’s lifeless body to always go after what he wanted. That meant finding out the woman’s name, and yeah, asking her to dinner.
“I think you might be better at this advice thing than you give yourself credit for,” he laughed, patting Bear on the shoulder. “So what are you carving?”
“A raccoon,” he said, not sounding at all excited. “I’ve never done a raccoon before. It’s harder than I thought it’d be.”
“Who’s the client?” Darren asked, suspecting he already knew.
“Connor McCann commissioned it for his daughter, Sophie. Her birthday is next month and she collects raccoons.”
“She’s one of my riders,” Darren responded. “She carries this raccoon puppet everywhere she goes. Her mother gave it to her before she died. It was hell trying to get Sophie to put it down for her riding lesson.”
“That’s gotta be tough. How old is she?”
Darren hadn’t known Bear long, but knew he kept to himself. Even though he’d lived in Lilac Ridge for years, he didn’t know many people outside his small circle. “She was three when her mom died. She’s six now. Riding has helped her, I think.”
“I hear those kids are hell on their nannies,” Bear chuckled.
Darren laughed too. “They are on their fifth nanny, I think. Connor has his hands full with those five girls.” All five girls took riding lessons. Independently, they were sweet and polite, but as a group, Darren had witnessed their antics. They were smart, cunning, and stuck together.
“What’s new in horse land?” Bear asked.
“Coop got some new horses.” Cooper Harris was a local farrier who also helped find homes for horses. Some he fostered, some he bought and sold. Darren had first met him after buying the Ridge View Riding Center six months ago. Coop had been the farrier for the previous owners, so Darren was happy to maintain that relationship. “I heard there’s a mare named Chocolate. That can’t be a coincidence.” He knew his parents had changed the name of his sister’s horse when they sold her. It never occurred to him the name might be something similar to Cocoa. If it had, he might have found the mare sooner.
Bear grunted. “Still haven’t given up the search, huh?”
“She’s out there somewhere. I’m going to find her,” Darren declared. It had been two years, but he knew his sister’s horse couldn’t be far. The mare had been stabled in Sunset Valley, the town where Darren grew up and until six months ago called home. It was just ten miles from Lilac Ridge, the place he now called home. He hoped she hadn’t been taken from the area, and his suspicion that Chocolate was in fact Cocoa fed that hope even more. He couldn’t save his sister, but he could give the horse a loving home.
Maddie played it cool as she approached the horse she’d come to share her deepest secrets with — the horse that would soon be hers. She hadn’t expected to see the man who had been dominating her fantasies ever since she’d joined the gym two months ago.
“Fancy meeting you here,” she said, covering her anxiety with a flirtatious tone which wasn’t difficult to achieve. Flirting was a second language, one she perfected during her boy-crazy teen years. In high school, she’d been voted most flirtatious, as well as worst driver. The psychotherapist in her knew there was a connection, but for the sake of self-preservation, she refused to acknowledge it.
“Fancy, indeed,” Hot Shirtless Guy crooned. Dressed in faded jeans and a worn shirt hugging every single curve of every single muscle she’d seen up close and personal a couple days ago, he looked good enough to eat.
Great, she’d gone from wan
ting to lick his sweat-glistened body to wanting to eat him whole.
God, she needed chocolate. Loads and loads of chocolate.
“I didn’t catch your name at the gym yesterday,” he said.
Not exchanging names had been another act of self-preservation, but there was no avoiding it now. “Maddie Carson,” she said, holding out her hand.
He touched her hand and what should have been a cordial handshake ended up being a surge of lightning shooting from her palm all the way to her magical place.
Not wanting to appear startled, Maddie gripped his hand tighter. It was like being connected to a live wire, when you know you need to either let go or die, but the connection was too powerful to even think about letting it go.
“Darren,” he said, still holding her hand even though they’d stopped the up and down rhythm. “Darren Brown,” he added in near James Bond fashion. She loved the fictional character, but none of the characters who had portrayed the legend held a candle to the man still holding her hand.
When his name registered, Maddie pulled her hand away. “Brown?” As in the color of chocolate. As in the root word for her favorite kind of chocolate … therapy … vice.
Maddie’s mouth watered just thinking about brownies. It had been 68 days and 4 hours since she’d last had one. Since she’d last had anything with chocolate as its root ingredient.
She’d fallen off the proverbial wagon that day because it was the first Valentine’s Day she’d ever not had a boyfriend. Maddie knew one of her issues was her inability to be alone. She’d survived New Year’s Eve without a kiss, but Valentine’s Day had thrown her over the edge.
And if she didn’t count that one slip, it had been 257 days and 25 pounds. She’d lost the weight gained from her twin’s first deployment and two-thirds of what she’d gained during his second deployment. She still had the weight from his third deployment sticking to her like molasses, but since he’d left on his fourth deployment, Maddie had stuck to her vow to lose the weight and gain back some control in her life.
