by Maggie Way
Before she could ask how he did that, or why, he was stroking her back and squeezing her ass. “Ride me,” he said, and those two words were just about the hottest thing she’d ever heard.
She kissed him, aware if she gave in to his demand the blankets would fall away and she’d be exposed. Something deep inside her pushed to the surface, encouraging her to follow his erotic command.
As their tongues tangled and explored, Maddie moved her hips, slowly at first, loving the connection they shared. They were still skin to skin, from chest to knee, but because she was on top now, the contact was different, alluring. Darren had given her control of their pleasure, but Maddie wasn’t sure she could take them where they wanted to go. At least not without knocking down some of her personal barriers.
She loved Darren’s hands on her, moving over her skin, his fingers digging into her hips and guiding her movements. When they settled into a rhythm that seemed to suit both of them, his hands moved to her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her nipples and sending a jolt all the way to where they were joined. She lifted herself a bit to give him better access and was rewarded with his mouth on her breast, his tongue flicking her nipple.
It was the most delicious thing she’d ever felt, even better than chocolate.
Closing her eyes, Maddie pushed herself up even further because more than the tingle around her nipples, she need to satisfy the demands growing between her legs. She wanted to feel Darren moving in and out of her, fast and hard.
“God, yes,” he groaned, his hands falling to her hips. It felt so good to be with him like this, to let go of her inhibitions for the first time this decade and let her wild side do what he wanted — ride him. It was exactly what she wanted, too.
When one of his hands moved to her center, finding that magic spot, she cried out, not even caring how loud or wild she sounded. She leaned back, her hands landing on his thighs for leverage, and giving him better access to bring her to the edge and push her over.
Between his groans and the feel of him thickening as she moved over him, and his thumb, oh, God, right there, Maddie spiraled. Throwing her head back, she cried out, his name, a prayer, an affirmation, his name again.
Then she heard her name as a strangled breath as Darren came with her and the world seemed to come to a stop right then and there.
This was Darren’s idea of heaven. Maddie had given up the battle of the blankets and accepted that he’d seen her naked, so there was no point in trying to hide.
As they spooned on the bed, her warm body pressed against his and the blankets kicked to the floor, he knew there was one more thing they couldn’t avoid.
“Are we going to talk about the big elephant in the room?” he asked, his hand skimming down her thigh and back up again.
“Nope,” she said, not moving.
“Maddie,” he pleaded, hoping she would turn and face him, but the woman was nothing if not stubborn. “Look at me.”
She turned, a determination on her face that told him she wasn’t going to bend. Maybe she didn’t want to talk, but that didn’t mean Darren couldn’t.
“I love you,” he admitted, a full declaration, not the slip he hadn’t intended earlier.
She kissed him quickly and turned away, curling back into the position she’d been in, pushing her ass against his groin as if to torture him for admitting his feelings.
“You’re just going to ignore me?” he asked.
“I’m not ignoring you. We’re cuddling.”
“Then you’re ignoring what I said.”
“I’m not ignoring it. I acknowledged it with a kiss.”
“You’re running again. You’re always running from me.” He didn’t understand it. He had seen the spirited side of her, the open book. Why she shut down when things got serious he didn’t get.
She huffed and turned, that determination back on her face. “You saw me naked, Darren. Fully exposed. That speaks more to my feelings than any words ever could.”
Did that mean she loved him too? Sometimes she was an open book, other times, like now, she was sealed closed.
“Maddie,”
“I have a tendency to scare men off by being open and honest, and maybe a little clingy. I’m not shutting you out, I’m just trying not to scare you off.”
He shook his head. “So you date men who want to fix you and who get scared when you open your heart? I’m not going to do either. I’m in for the long hall. Just be you.”
It was her turn to shake her head. “I’m not ready to say it, alright? I didn’t even want a relationship, but you bullied your way in-”
“I didn’t bully my way in—”
“You pushed, Darren. You pushed and I caved and I feel myself falling into old habits, destructive habits, and that’s not what I want for me. I know that sounds selfish, but I told you even before this got started that I needed to fix me. You didn’t respect that. You kept pushing and here we are.”
Here they were. He was in love with her, something he wanted. “What habits are you falling back into? Letting yourself enjoy life? Throwing caution to the wind? Opening your heart to love?”
“Letting a man change me,” she said and rolled away, getting out of bed and tugging the sheet until Darren was the one exposed and she was covered.
She grabbed clothes out of her dresser, slamming the drawers shut and stomping out of the room. Darren supposed that was his cue to get dressed too.
He should have just kept his damned mouth shut. While Maddie might be falling into old habits, Darren was doing just the opposite. Losing Tawny had taught him how short life could be, that he had to embrace every moment, every opportunity. If he hadn’t told her how he felt, and something happened to one of them after he left, well, he just didn’t want to think about it.
He pulled on clothes, leaving her bedroom to find the bathroom door across the hall closed. He was tempted to barge in, but invading her personal space would probably cause her to shut down completely. He waited, counting the seconds along with the ticking lock echoing from the living room.
“The only person trying to change you is you, Maddie,” he argued when she charged out of the bathroom dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.
“You’re not a therapist, Darren,” she snarled. “You’re certainly not my therapist. Stop trying to analyze me.”
Darren chuckled, which only made Maddie roll her eyes. “I don’t need to be a therapist to know what’s going on with you. I’m not like all those other guys and you know it. Stop trying to find reasons to push me away.”
Closing the distance between them, Darren kissed her, pressing his body against hers. There was nowhere for her to go, trapped between his body and the kitchen counter, but as she melted into him, Darren knew there was no place she wanted to go.
Her heat penetrated her jeans. If Darren kissed her too long, they’d either spontaneously combust or end up naked. While he had no issues with taking her right there in her kitchen, he had a feeling she wasn’t about to let him strip her down in broad daylight.
Darren was going to suffer for this all day, but he couldn’t even muster an ounce of give-a-damn. Maybe she didn’t like hearing the words, but without a doubt he knew she liked experiencing how he felt about her.
Before losing all control, Darren backed away, satisfied he’d affected her as much as she affected him when she gripped the counter for balance.
“You want space?” he asked, continuing to step back from her, “I’ll give you space. Because here’s the thing, Maddie, I can’t be with you and not tell you I love you — exactly as you are. When you realize there is nothing about you that needs fixing, you know where to find me.”
Chapter Seventeen
“What in hell are you doing?” Clarissa asked after she stormed into Maddie’s apartment.
“Baking,” Maddie sighed.
“I can see that. Actually, I could smell it, two floors down. Are you insane?”
“I think so,” Maddie admitted and then pleaded wit
h her friend, “do not let me eat these. Not even one.”
“If you don’t want to eat them, why are you baking?”
Baking was therapeutic. It gave Maddie something to think about and something to keep herself busy. She refused to ride when she was anxious like this because the horses picked up on it and it made them anxious too. The last thing she needed was to take a somewhat unpredictable stud out when she was feeling unpredictable herself.
So she baked. She was on her fourth batch of brownies with no clue what she was going to do with them. Too bad Lilac Ridge didn’t have a frat house.
“Oh, God, these are so good,” Clarissa said.
Maddie spun around to find her best friend in the whole world shoveling a giant brownie into her mouth. “How can you do that in front of me?”
Clarissa shrugged. “I was doing it behind you. You’re the one who turned around.”
“It was a figure of speech,” Maddie grumbled. “You’re supposed to be my best friend, you know, have my back and all that.”
“I’m doing you a favor. You don’t want to eat them, so I’m disposing of the temptation.”
Maddie shook her head. “That’s not how this works. I can’t eat them, so you can’t eat them.”
Clarissa pinned her with a glare. “Right. Kind of like the sex thing. I’m not getting any, so you’re not … oh, wait, was that Darren I saw leaving this morning?”
It was Darren. Darren, who watched her strip naked with the lights on before throwing herself at him. All because her stupid brother had joined the army and refused to come home and be a normal person. What was wrong with settling down in Lilac Ridge, anyway? All the cool kids were doing it.
Then there was the other thing. Because she hadn’t just stripped herself naked, Darren had stripped her naked too, with his declaration. “I get it, you know. Why men run when a woman says those three little words. I totally get it.”
“You didn’t?” The shock on Clarissa’s face was more potent than when she’d walked in and seen all the brownies.
“I didn’t. He did,” Maddie admitted. There was a first time for everything and she seemed to be experiencing a lot of firsts with Darren.
“He said it first?” Clarissa said.
“He said it only,” Maddie clarified.
“Oh, shit,” Clarissa said. She shoved the rest of the brownie in her mouth and grabbed another. “So you’re freaking out. That’s why you’re baking.”
“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Maddie muttered, breaking off a small piece from Clarissa’s brownie. She wanted to toss it in her mouth and savor the chocolate as it melted on her tongue. One small indulgence would lead to another and another until she’d indulged in every last brownie stacked on the cooling rack.
If she sucked at baking, her weight might not be a problem. Unfortunately, she made the best brownies on the planet. Now she had four batches to find a home for.
Maddie preferred that home not be her belly.
“I have seven pounds to go,” she muttered, reminding herself why she couldn’t give in to the urge to break off another corner of Clarissa’s brownie and this time toss it in her mouth. “How could he do this to me with seven pounds to go?”
“He didn’t do anything to you. Stop being a drama queen. Really, Mad, you need to unclench. All the dieting has made you uptight.”
Maddie crossed her arms and leaned against the counter with a pout, the smart, logical side of her knowing Clarissa was right. Darren had done nothing but free her from the cage she’d put herself in to avoid getting involved with a man who only wanted to change her.
“You suck,” she sighed.
Clarissa laughed. “Yes, but don’t spread that rumor. I’m not looking for any unwanted dates.”
That’s why Clarissa was the best friend. She knew how to get past Maddie’s shit and break the tension. Somehow, Darren knew how to see past her BS too and wasn’t afraid to call her on it. No one she’d ever dated had ever done that.
“What am I going to do with all these brownies?” Maddie asked, hoping Clarissa had a solution because they couldn’t stay here.
“Wrap them up. I’ll take them with me.”
“Where are you going?” Maddie asked.
“Ridge View stables. The lawyer finished the partnership contract. I need you and Darren to sign it.”
Darren was surprised to see Clarissa walking into his office, smiling, no less.
“Clarissa, hi,” he said as he stood.
“Hi,” she said, an amused smile on her face he didn’t understand. She set a foil container on his desk.
“Brownies,” she said, nodding at them.
“Thanks, have a seat,” he offered, waiting for her to settle into the chair on the other side of his desk before he took a seat again. “I’m surprised to see you.” He figured since he hadn’t heard from Maddie in two days that the whole deal with the equine assisted therapy center was off.
Maybe Clarissa was here to deliver the news that he was out as a partner. Given the smile on her face, that conclusion didn’t add up.
“I meant to stop by a few days ago, but I ended up making a house call to check out newborn twin foals.”
“Twins?” he asked. “Are they okay?”
“Both are very healthy, and so is Mama. I had trouble pulling myself away. Anyway, I have the legal papers for you to sign,” she explained, dropping a folder on the desk before she leaned back in the chair.
“We’re still on?” he asked, not hiding his surprise.
“Of course, why wouldn’t we be?”
It was a leading question. Darren recognized it not just because of her amused smile but because she was Maddie’s best friend. He’d been with women who had best friends, so he knew how that dynamic worked. If his sister had a best friend like most women, maybe she wouldn’t have fallen into darkness.
“No reason. Just Maddie’s not talking to me.” If Clarissa could bait him, he could bait her right back.
“Oh, because you dropped the L bomb?”
So she had told Clarissa. “Dropped the L bomb, saw her naked, the whole nine yards.” He wasn’t one to kiss and tell, but this was the BFF and probably the only other person aware of Maddie’s body-image issues.
Clarissa laughed, but Darren couldn’t grasp the humor. It had only been a couple days, but he missed Maddie so much his heart ached.
“Does she tell you everything?” he asked, not sure how he felt about that.
“Everything, in grave detail,” Clarissa smiled and winked.
Great. He wasn’t sure he wanted the grave details on what that meant.
“I’m not trying to change her,” he said, feeling the need to defend himself.
“You’re good for her. Not many people call her out on her bullshit. Matt gets away with it because he’s the twin and I get away with it because we’ve been together since diapers, but no one else has ever managed it. You’re the first.”
“I’m not so sure she sees it from that perspective.”
“Oh she does, that’s why she’s hiding.”
He didn’t like that Maddie went into hiding. He liked the free-spirited woman who let her hair fly in the wind and sang along to the music. He didn’t know how to deal with someone who shut him out. His sister had done that during her episodes of depression.
Tawny had asked for space. The one and only time Darren had granted her wish, she slipped so far into depression she couldn’t pull herself out. Maddie wasn’t manic-depressive, but giving her space also wasn’t the answer. Darren needed to prove he was a man worthy of her love. He needed to stick by her. “I shouldn’t have walked out on her,” he confessed.
“Hind sight is twenty/twenty,” Clarissa responded.
“Can I ask you something?” he said, his thoughts leading him down a path that seemed crazy.
“Sure.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight?”
Clarissa laughed so loud it echoed off the walls of his office. “I think
you’re asking the wrong person that question.”
“I suppose,” he sighed. “I’ll read through these, let you know if I have any questions,” he said, tapping the papers.
“Great. Just drop them by my apartment later. I’m in the same building as Maddie, apartment 1A.”
“Will do.”
He shook Clarissa’s hand and she started off, pausing when she got to the door. “Maddie does,” Clarissa said.
“Does what?” he asked, not following.
“She believes in love at first sight.”
Chapter Eighteen
Maddie always felt invigorated after an equine assisted therapy session. It was a long drive to Sugar Falls, but it was always worth it. Plus, it gave her an opportunity to engage in a little retail therapy at her favorite new-age shop.
When she walked into Currents, she was greeted by Grace McIntyre’s welcoming smile. “Maddie, it’s good to see you.”
“Thanks, you too,” Maddie said, embracing the owner of the store. Maddie envied Grace’s dark auburn hair and willowy figure, but the woman was so kind and intuitive, Maddie could hardly dislike her. “How are you?”
“Good, and you? You look great.”
“Thanks.” Maddie never tired of the compliments. It was her ego-boost reward for all the hard work. “I’m in need of some retail therapy. What do you have that’s new?”
“First, come here.” Grace grabbed Maddie’s hand and led her to the aromatherapy counter. She proceeded to mix a few drops of essential oil with a carrier oil, then dabbed it on Maddie’s pulse points and temples. “It’s bergamot. It’ll help clear that fog you’re in.”
“Thanks,” Maddie said, closing her eyes and breathing in the citrus and floral fragrance. She didn’t ask how Grace knew how she was feeling, because Grace always seemed to know. Maddie drew in the bergamot, images of Darren flashing through her mind. His smile, the warmth of his skin, the feel of his body on and in hers.
Love, she thought. This is what real love feels like.
“Mmm. That’s better. Here, you need one of these. Handmade right here in Sugar Falls.”
