by Maggie Way
“I’m sorry, Kai. I had no idea.” Jake shook his head looking down. “Damn.”
“Not many do. We struggled. We stayed together despite ourselves, like we owed each other or something. I don’t know. I was gone all the time. She opened a hair salon. We were two ships passing, however that goes. Next thing I knew five years had gone by. Fame, success, award shows. Stacia was by my side for the photo-ops. We got pregnant again. It was a surprise. We were stoked. Emily was born. She brought Stacia and I close again for a while and then after a few more years of never being home the feeling just faded. I wanted a divorce. Stacia kinda lost it. I don’t blame her now, looking back. I was absent. Emily basically grew up without a father. Fast forward, Stacia sold her salon after the divorce and moved to Chicago to be near her family.”
“What happened with Emily?”
His question shattered me. I hung my head and the tears fell. I kept swiping them away as I felt Jake’s warm grip on my shoulder.
“Sorry.” I croaked. “The guilt’s killing me.”
“Don’t be sorry, man.” He said patting my back. “Just do something about it.”
I heaved in a deep breath looking up. “Yeah.”
Chapter Three
Grace
Ethan dashed by nearly knocking me into the wall as he tore through the front door. Jackson came swiftly after, hitting my arm on the way by. The mail I held in my hand scattered onto the foyer floor.
“Boys!” I shouted, grumbling, “No running in the house.”
They didn’t acknowledge me. Boys. I bent down picking up junk mail, bills and a thick white envelope with calligraphy writing. It was addressed to – Ms. Grace Solomon. Me. My first thought was another baby shower. Ever since I’d made my way back into the living world, invitations started rolling in.
Ripping open the lip of the envelope exposed a pearly white interior. I pulled out the card and a beautiful beveled design framing small elegant script, invited me to the Malibu Beach Inn on June 21st at 5PM, just four months away. It was an invitation to Nadine and Marty’s wedding. Nadine was the best friend of Alyssa, Jake’s fiancé, and Marty worked for Jake. Over the past year, I’d become close to all of them, forming our own little modern family. It was nice for Ethan because it gave him a surrogate little brother in Jackson, Jake’s son.
* * *
As I ran my fingertips over the waxy surface of the elegant invitation, I got lost in the bittersweet memory of my own wedding invitations. I hadn’t been to a wedding since I was pregnant.I glanced at the clock on the microwave as I tossed the mail on the kitchen counter.
The time! Shit!
“Jackson! Ethan! We gotta go!” I shouted. I grabbed my phone and sent Jake a text, apologizing for being late.
The sound of running feet came toward me. “He doesn’t wanna go.” Ethan informed and Jackson came dragging behind him.
“Do I have to?” Jackson’s face sagged with unhappiness and he whined, “It’s still light out.”
“Honey, your dad wants you home now, and I don’t know why.” I turned, grabbing my keys from the counter. “Get in the car, boys.”
The boys whispered back and forth all the way to the car and during the drive, scheming no doubt. At four and five years old, they sure gave it their best to convince me that it wasn’t the time to separate them. They had “big plans!” Jackson explained. He said they were nearly finished building their fort and they had to prepare for the fight.
“What fight?” I asked, amused, “And where is this fort?”
“Mommy! It’s in the loft. We used all the blankets. It’s huge.” Ethan piped and I glanced at him in the rearview mirror. His arms were opened as wide as they could go.
Jackson pushed Ethan’s hand away from his face. “The fight is against the bad guys! The mean guys.”
I nodded, eyeing the pedestrians crossing the street as I waited to turn onto Jake’s street. “Who are the mean, bad guys?”
“The bullies at school,” he said staunchly as I pulled into Jake’s driveway.
I turned to look at Jackson in the backseat. “You’re being bullied at school?”
Ethan’s eyes avoided mine and his chin fell into his chest. Ethan watched Jackson and his eyebrow furrowed and then he said, “We’ll get ’em, Jackson!”
I gulped. What was going on? “Um, ok, let’s go,” I said, needing a moment to think finally deciding to ask Jake if he knew anything about the possible bullying.
I followed the boys into the house. They took off up the stairs as I walked into the kitchen via the family room. My heart immediately jumped into high gear, the blood rushing to head made me dizzy.
Kai.
By the look on Jake’s face he wasn’t expecting me. Kai glanced over his shoulder and almost fell out of his seat when he noticed me. Jake and Kai looked back and forth at each other before Jake said, “Hey, didn’t realize the time.”
“I sent you a text. Sorry I’m late. You wanted him home by five.”
My eyes landed on Kai. I couldn’t help it. He looked all kinds of gorgeous hunched at the counter with his short t-shirt sleeves tucked up onto his shoulders. He swiveled to face me. The muscles in his arms flexed stiffly as he braced them on his thighs.
“Gracie.” He nodded coolly.
Embarrassment shuddered through me and I gave him a turned-down smile. I never replied to his text messages. He’d been the one to text me the night he walked me home. He’d also sent another message a week later. That was almost two months ago. I never thought I’d randomly run into him at Jake’s. I would have avoided coming in the house had I known he was there.
“Hello.” I cleared my throat and peeled my eyes away from him. The heat crawled up my neck. I was probably flushed. “Um, Jake, give me a call when you’re free. Got something to talk about regarding the boys.”
He nodded and looked at Kai, who watched me closely and then asked, “Uh, you wanna stay for dinner?”
Tension curled around my body. I forced myself to swallow and my mind scrambled for what to say. I could barely breathe. “Um,” my voice eeked and I pointed toward the stairs. I knew it would be hard to get Ethan to leave. Putting on an act I tilted my head saying, “Did something change? Didn’t you say you needed Jackson home so you could go somewhere?”
I felt desperate to leave and grasped at anything, even at making something up – Jake never said such a thing. Kai finally turned his back on me.
Jake shrugged. “Sienna was supposed to grab Ethan, and her plane was delayed. Now she’s coming tomorrow,” he tipped his head to Kai saying, “Kai and I got caught up…” he paused, looking at Kai who was staring down at his phone and then said, “just rollin’ with it. New plans.”
A heavy thud sounded from above, and then another. “Hey!” Jake shouted, frowning and dropped the towel he held in his hands on the counter and moved to see what the ruckus was. He stood at the base of the stairs and hollered, “What’s going on up there?”
“Daddy!” Jackson’s voice sounded and more words followed that I couldn’t understand and Jake took off up the stairs.
I stared at Kai’s hunched shoulders, now feeling remorseful for ignoring his kind messages. I walked over standing beside him at the counter. He didn’t look at me.
“I’m sorry.” I murmured.
I wanted to reach out and rub his back when he didn’t move for a few seconds. He didn’t even blink like he was frozen in time and when he finally looked at me I thought I’d melt into a puddle. His green eyes shimmered with intensity and he sighed shaking his head.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come at you like that. It was immature of me, I wasn’t thinkin’ straight. You don’t deserve to be hit on like that, especially by me.”
Kai’s arms curled in closer to his body like he was protecting himself, making me feel worse. I pulled out the stool next to him and took a seat, resting my arms on the counter. Jake’s commanding voice floated down the stairs as he tried to take charge of the boys,
who were laughing and screaming.
We sat in silence for a bit then Kai reached over taking my hand in his. He brought it to his mouth. The warmth of his lips pressed against my skin sending a thawing heat through me. I closed my eyes. He squeezed my hand and set it back on the counter.
“I just didn’t know what to say to you, Kai.” I admitted, regretful.
“I know.” He looked at me with a rueful grin. “Retrospect. It eats me alive.”
Just as I was about to speak Jake came up behind us saying, “Wild animals I tell ya!” He exclaimed laughing. He walked past us without noticing the tension between us, mumbling something about the barbecue. Removing the foil from atop a glass dish revealed a rack of marinating ribs. Ambling out onto the patio he placed them on the grill.
“You stayin’ for dinner?” Kai asked, not looking at me.
I wanted to. “No, I have a deadline.” I lied.
He nodded.
“Boys wanna have a sleep over.” Jake announced when he came back inside.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to be alone. “Um, you sure its ok?”
“Yeah. Sienna won’t be here until noon. I’ll drop Ethan back after breakfast.” Jake scratched the back of his neck. “Shit, I gotta grab Aly from the airport too at some point. I’ll figure it out and let you know. That cool?”
“Sounds good,” I agreed. My mind wandered for what to say next and the wedding invite popped in my head. “Guess what?”
“What?” Kai and Jake chimed in unison.
“I got a wedding invite to Nadine and Marty’s wedding. That’s so sweet. I didn’t expect that at all.”
“No shit.” Jake looked confused. “When?”
“Just today, like right before we came over.”
“Huh,” Jake said looking perplexed. He stalked to the foyer and out the front door. He came back with a stack of mail and threw it on the counter in front of us as he ran away to check the grill. I reached out, paging through the pile.
“Nosy much?” Kai chided.
I leered playfully at him. “You shush. I’m looking for the invite.” I said and just as I spoke the words, my fingers pinched the envelope. “Here it is.”
“Who’s gettin’ hitched?” He looked confused.
“Marty, you know Marty, right? Jake’s right hand man slash videographer.”
“Ah yeah, that’s right.” He nodded casually, not really caring. His mind was somewhere else as he stared off into the backyard.
I felt the urge to leave. I slid the stool out from under me and took the invitation to Jake as he stepped back inside.
“I’m going.” I announced. “Here’s the invite.”
Jake took it from my hand and tore it open. As he read it, a smile appeared on his face. “Fuckin’ Marty.” He laughed, shaking his head. “He did it. He grew some balls and actually did it.”
“Why do you say it like that?” I asked.
“Nadine isn’t Jewish, but she did convert, so I guess she is now. But it was an issue between Marty and his mother. I’m glad it all worked out. I’m still shocked though. Total unlikely couple.”
“When’s the wedding?” Kai asked.
Jake looked back at the invite and his posture sank as he answered. “It’s June 21st.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Just a tough time of year for both Aly and I.”
“Touring.” Kai piped. “Just gonna have to work it out.”
Jake nodded and tossed the invite back on the counter before looking to me. “You sure you don’t wanna stay?”
I was torn, but it was better that I left. “I would, but I really need to work.”
I gave Jake a quick hug out of habit and immediately regretted it. Now I felt like I had to do the same with Kai. Why? I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I forced myself to walk out of the kitchen passing Kai.
“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I attempted to sound nonchalant. “By, Kai, see ya around.”
“Take care,” he replied quietly with a nod.
My legs shook as I walked to my car. When I gripped the steering wheel, my hands shook too. I drove home in a daze. When I pulled into my driveway I just sat there thinking about my life.
Why was I fighting it?
Because it wasn’t right, that’s why. Kai was not the right man for me. He’d proven that a long time ago.
Chapter Four
Kai
My stomach felt as if it were tumbling, like I was riding a roller coaster. The nervousness I felt was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. Not even the first time I stepped on stage to play my first stadium concert in front of twenty thousand people compared. This show, today’s show, meant everything to me.
I’d never worn a tuxedo-type suit before. Not even at my own wedding. Ours wasn’t a traditional wedding. Merely a trip to the courthouse followed by dinner with family was all she wrote for that chapter in my life. Standing in front of the mirror, I barely recognized myself. I’d cut my hair short for the first time ever, exposing the back of my very pale neck. It looked like a baby’s ass. Struggling to knot the tie around my neck was a futile endeavor, so I tossed the offending garment to the bed.
Wearing a tie was just going to have to be optional for me. It wasn’t like I was in the wedding or anything else important. Plenty of dudes wear suits sans tie. Glancing at the clock on the hotel nightstand caused my heart to kick into overdrive. I’d see Grace in just a little while after not laying eyes on her in months. Did she know I would be at the wedding too? Has she thought about me at all since that night in Jake’s kitchen? God, I hoped so because she was all I had thought about. When Jake asked if I would mind attending the wedding so we could play some music, I leapt at the chance to see Grace.
I walked over to the table and fished out the new black leather belt from a shopping bag, ripping the plastic tag right off. I slid it through the belt loops and fastened it snug around my waist. Taking another look at myself in the mirror I noticed I’d yet to button my cuffs and attempted to do so when a knock came at the door. When I opened it I knew my appearance would be a surprise.
“What the…” Jake’s eyes flashed wide and then he blinked like he was seeing things. “Your hair!”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah. I just went for it.”
“Damn.” He walked in staring me like it was a joke, then he walked a full circle around me before saying, “You look great, a lot younger.”
“If only.” I laughed and heaved a heavy sigh. “You see Grace yet?”
Jake smirked. “Yes.”
“How’s she look?” It was stupid question, but I couldn’t help it.
A tight smile pressed at his lips. “She looks as beautiful as ever.”
I nodded. “I’m so fuckin’ nervous.”
“Take a deep breath. It’s not like you’re the one getting married.”
I continued to struggle with buttoning my sleeves. “Man, help,” I pleaded, holding my arm out to Jake as he buttoned one cuff, then the other. Jake was dressed and ready to go. “You look the part. When’s the last time you wore a suit?”
“Not too long ago.”
I gnawed at my lip. “Where’s Alyssa?”
“With the bride.”
“Speaking of…how’s that goin? Did you guys set a date yet?”
“We got a couple to choose from. We might just go for it this fall, or next summer at the latest. I just wanna go to Vegas but don’t tell her that,” he laughed. “Just need to see about the venue. Aly’s got plans and I’ve got nothin’ to do with ‘em.” He smiled and hung his head fanning his hands out.
“I thought you guys weren’t gonna do a big thing.”
“Not for the wedding part, but the party, or reception.” He paced around the room looking at stuff. “We’re saying it’s just a party. Only close friends and family, maybe just family at the wedding.”
I grabbed my jacket and shrugged it on. It fit like a glove. The lapels were satin and the fit was slim c
ut. I unbuttoned the top button of my white dress shirt and yanked at the collar. I wasn’t one of those cocky guys who always thought they looked good, but I did look pretty good. Grace would be stunned, I was certain of it, because I was myself. I’d never cleaned up so well in my life.
“Does Grace know I’m here?”
He shook his head no as his eyes roamed me up and down. “Nope, she doesn’t, but she’s gonna lay eyes on you and think your James fucking Bond.”
I guffawed at his compliment then my mind raced. “You don’t think she’ll leave because I’m here, do you? I don’t want her to leave.”
“Just relax and don’t say anything stupid.” He said, sitting on the bed. “I mean, just tell her how you feel, just like we talked about. It’s all you can do.”
That was the plan. I was going to as ask Grace to dance and pray she’d hear me out while I had her in my arms. Jake and I parted ways in the lobby of the Malibu Beach Inn. The hotel wasn’t large. It was a boutique hotel. A small front desk, a narrow interior bar area the size of a bathroom and restaurant made up the main floor of the chic hotel. The outside deck, overlooking the Pacific Ocean, was where the reception would be. It was clearly set up for the party with white furniture and floral arrangements positioned with care on small round tables draped with white cloth. The lobby and bar were filled with wedding guests. I spotted Jake and Alyssa across the room staring lovingly at each other. They were the only people I really knew other than the bride and groom and Grace. It was my understanding that the forty-five-room hotel was booked by the wedding party and guests. Basically the entire hotel was cordoned off for a private party.
Wondering where the band was set up, I wandered through the crowded lobby, where people sipped cocktails in their fancy summer attire. The women were in either sleeveless or strappy semi-formal dresses while the men all wore penguin outfits. Some of the guests milling around dropped off gifts and others signed the guest book. I smiled politely at everyone I made eye contact with as my eyes roved over the crowd searching for Grace. I averted several flirty stares in my quest for her. Standing at the terrace’s threshold, which was roped off with black velvet, I spotted my drums set up to the far left. A security guy eyeballed me. We nodded at each other.
