My Friends Are Dead People

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My Friends Are Dead People Page 12

by Tony Ortiz


  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The OCEAN CROSSING

  Silky wouldn’t budge. I remembered that playing fetch with Duma helped to get him going, or at least perked up his mood. I searched the grass and found a long stick. I waved it in front of Silky’s face and then tossed it into the far corner of the backyard. Silky didn’t even lift her head out of the grass.

  “Good one, smart boy,” smiled Katie. “She’s really running after that one.”

  I didn’t care what anyone said. I knew that all animals liked to play. I just had to find the right approach. Silky yawned and lumbered over to a hose spouting water.

  “Thirsty?” I said. “Me too–”

  She spat in my face.

  “What’s wrong with you?” I scolded, drenched in water. “I meant I wouldn’t mind taking a sip myself.”

  Silky gave me a blank look and turned back to the hose. I wondered if Ray would let me take her home next Halloween. Maybe Duma and she would fall in love and make magical babies. I would never be bored again. They would chase airplanes, attack zoo animals, pee on race cars, and eat my neighbors. They would become the most feared things ever! All I needed is for Duma and Silky to meet and hit it off.

  “Time to ride with the wind,” announced Ray. “Silky, you keep them safe. Slimy, Slim, Slick, Slinky, you take care of them, too. No welgo tomfoolery. And, Slump, you can go back to sleep. A Bellnicsi!” he said as he went inside. “I can’t believe it!”

  “Jesse, Katie, time to go,” said Jacoby atop his welgo.

  Lin was having a difficult time with his welgo, named Slick, who kept on squirming and shifting as Lin tried to climb on. Finally, Slick lowered himself under Lin, but, as soon as Lin settled in, Slick slid away from under him.

  “That’s it!” grumbled Lin, on his butt. “I’m going to dress you in a mini-skirt, four high heels, lipstick . . .”

  Katie and Dorian mounted theirs without a hitch. Dorian took Slimy, who was indeed a lot slimier than the others. There was a puddle of slime under him, as if he was leaking car fluid. Katie got Slim, the thinnest of the welgos. Jacoby’s welgo was up to some funny business, dipping and lurching about. That was Slinky alright. Jacoby didn’t look too thrilled with his steed as he steered him to the side gate.

  Moments later, Jacoby called out for me. Silky was back in the weeds.

  “Jacoby, it’s not me!” I shouted back, trying to climb on her. “Silky, come on. Jacoby has no patience for slowpokes.”

  Jacoby called my name again, and then Lin screamed my name. He must have woken up the whole neighborhood.

  “See?” I said to Silky. “Can we go now?”

  Silky wouldn’t even shift her head out of the dirt. What was wrong with her? Why was she acting so stubborn? I pressed my heels into her sides like a horseman would, and she flipped me off into a puddle of mud.

  “You’re making me mad!” I said sulkily, now soaked in mud.

  And with that, Silky let me mount her and strode out of the gate. We caught up with the group in just a few long strides.

  “Silky, the shores of western Europe,” said Jacoby, “near the dark waters of the Gompsli Isle.”

  Slinky, Slim, and Slick began to trot down the street. Katie and her welgo came next to Silky and me.

  “You ready?” said Katie, sitting comfortably on Slim. “This is going to be so fuuuun . . .”

  Her welgo took off, and her voice trailed off into space. Silky wasn’t moving again, eyeing a plane flying overhead.

  “Why are you being so stubborn? You’re just like my cat–”

  She turned her attention to me.

  “My cat disobeys me and gets into mischief all the time. But maybe you’re not like him.”

  Silky swung her head around and opened her mouth.

  “I’ve got an idea: open your mouth if you want to say ‘yes’ and keep it closed if you want to say ‘no’. Okay? . . . I’m going to need you to open your mouth. You got that?”

  Silky stared at me.

  “Okay, you understand then. Uhmm . . . we’d better get moving.”

  Silky understood and pranced ahead, moving up the hill at the speed of a car. The rest of the pack was too far ahead of us to be seen, but I wasn’t worried. I wanted to talk to Silky some more.

  “So, Silky . . . do you like being called Silky?”

  I leaned to the side to see if she had opened her mouth. This probably just wasn’t working. Or maybe she really didn’t like her name. The only way to be sure was to find a question where she had to answer “yes.”

  “Do you know where you’re going?”

  I leaned over – nothing.

  “Jacoby just told you. Weren’t you listening? Great! You had better catch up before they take off. Crapper!”

  I looked around to gauge our speed. We were going no faster than a bicycle.

  “Even my mother can go faster than this. You slow cheetah-wannabe–”

  Silky went a little bit faster, getting up to maybe thirty miles per hour.

  “That’s better. At least I know you can understand me. Just catch up. I don’t want Jacoby getting mad at me again.”

  As we neared the summit of the long street I saw Katie and Slim.

  “Okay, back to the questions. There’s got to be something you can say ‘yes’ to. Uhmm . . . Got it!” I smiled and articulated very clearly, “Are - you - the - color - black?”

  I tilted my head. Her jaw stayed rigidly clenched.

  “Do I need to ply your mouth open? What other name for black is there? Don’t get smart with me . . . Silky. I think I like Silky. Silky Cilia is what I’ll call you for now–”

  Silky’s hide began to loosen around my legs.

  “Okay, okay,” I said hastily, throwing my arms around her neck. “Okay, no Silky Cilia.”

  She turned around and glared at me.

  “Well, you better start answering ‘yes’ because this isn’t getting us anywhere. I bet you don’t even know who you were in your previous life.”

  I tilted my head. Again, there was no response.

  “Fine. Have it your way.” I paused for a moment. “You really don’t remember? Okay, you don’t know who you are. Do you know who I am?”

  Silky beamed back at me.

  “What?” I said as she opened her mouth. “What? Yes! Yes, to what? You know who I am?”

  She opened her mouth again as she began to slow down.

  “Well, that doesn’t say much. I know who I am, too.”

  I tilted my head. Her mouth stayed shut as I thought of something. I wondered . . .

  “I don’t know who I am?” I asked.

  Nothing again.

  “Dang it, I thought we were getting somewhere,” I said in frustration. Silky turned back at me. “So that’s a ‘no’? I don’t know who I am? Wait, that can be interpreted in two ways. Okay, let’s try this way. Is my name Jesse Jayden?”

  Silky opened her mouth.

  “How can I not know who I am? Do I have a mother named Oz? Wait, how do you–”

  She opened her mouth.

  “What? You – how do you know what my mother’s name is?” I demanded, forgetting she couldn’t speak. “Do I have a father?”

  I waited patiently. Silky turned around, staring. She turned back, but as she did she opened her mouth. Okay . . .

  “Is my father’s name Rob?”

  Silky didn’t turn around. Maybe she knew I was trying to trick her. The perfect question hit me.

  “Does my father live with me?”

  Silky didn’t turn around. I full expected her to say “yes” and be wrong, but she didn’t.

  “Good–” I stopped myself as she opened her mouth.

  “Sorry, you’re wrong,” I said sadly.

  She turned around, looking at me intently, as if she really thought she was correct.

  “He lives in Hawaii. He left me before I was born. Have you been to Hawaii?”

  Silky opened her mouth as we reached the group.

  �
�Silky, look at me,” commanded Jacoby. He waited until she looked at him. “The shores of western Europe. You know which border. I know we’ve been through rough times. I’m not riding you anymore, so please be a good sport and take care of Jesse. He’s your responsibility.”

  She opened her mouth.

  “That’s a ‘yes’,” I translated.

  “Good,” said Jacoby. “Let’s get going. We can’t stop until we reach land–”

  “What? What do you mean until we reach land?”

  Jacoby continued, as if he hadn’t heard me. “Once you get there, I want you to stay put. We’ll be running through the North Sea. This late at night, sealons come up to the surface. If you see one,” he seemed to be speaking strictly to Silky, “you know not to go near it. Alright. Just hold on tight, you two.”

  By the time I took my eyes off Silky, everyone was gone. Great, we were left behind again. But what was a sealon?

  “Sealon?” I said to Silky. “What is that? Hey, how about a new name for you?”

  She opened her mouth.

  “How about Spotty? . . . Cheetah? . . . Tiger? . . . Speedster? . . . Smokes? . . . Cockroaches? . . . No Good Slimy Chunks?” I was getting tired. “Oz, Lisa, Katie–”

  She swung her head side to side.

  “What about Jesse?”

  She opened her mouth immediately.

  “Okay, sure. It’s going to make it difficult, but okay. And it’s a boy’s name. This is going to be too confusing, how about . . . Duma?”

  That could go both ways. My cat seemed to like it, so maybe she would, too. She opened her mouth.

  “Okay, then, Duma! Let’s get going. You don’t have to prove to me you’re the fastest welgooooo–”

  Duma shot forward barely missing two cars at two intersections.

  “That’s my cat’s name, too!” I shouted. “You should meet him! He’s cool!”

  I looked far down the hill and saw what I had forgotten about.

  “Y-you can run on wat–”

  Duma shot forward even faster. Streetlights blurred, and the air turned freezing cold. I wasn’t sure how fast she was going, or where in the world we were, but what I did know was that she was cutting across a blanket of blackness like a supersonic jet, skimming the watery expanse and passing by large islands. It was the coolest thing ever. I opened my mouth and let the prickly air stab the back of my throat. “Laaaaaaa . . .”

  Duma maneuvered gracefully to the left and slid along the crest of a rocky island, getting momentary traction, and bolting back into the dark. What I saw next was the most amazing thing ever. The sun was creeping over the horizon and moving into the dark clouds, as if God had hit the fast-forward button on time. I couldn’t describe how it felt: it was something outside of the scope of human experience, the pinnacle of wonder. Yet even more amazingly still, I could perceive the curvature of the earth as clear and palpable as one would the pavement under one’s foot. I could actually see and feel us speeding around a giant sphere.

  “D-Duma, f-faster!” I yipped ecstatically through the walloping wind.

  But there was a hard jolt, and a tremendous loss of speed smashed my face into the back of her head. She swerved gracefully to the right, then left, right away making another hard left that nearly swung me off her back. Something was definitely wrong. I couldn’t call out to her, breathless and disoriented from the violent turns we were making. She skidded sideways, just as a giant glossy snake shot past us into the clouds.

  “Sealon?” I asked in a shaky voice.

  Duma agreed as she ramped off a churning ripple. We picked up speed again and leaped over maybe hundreds of miles before skidding against the surface again.

  The creature was enormous. Spread out, its flippers spanned two or three football fields.

  “It’s trying to enclose us!” I shouted over the ranging waves. “We have to find an island! . . . Duma, back there! I think I saw one!”

  The sea monster arched a length of its body above the waters and struck us as we passed, sending us hurtling toward its lower coil. We were going to slam into it. I hugged Duma as tight as I could and pressed my face into her neck. We were going to be in a thousand-mile-per-hour-head-on collision. We were going to die. . . .

  “Jesse, get up, you’re okay,” rang a cheerful voice.

  Katie and Lin were kneeling next to me on an isolated white beach, shadowed by huge rain clouds. The welgos were resting in the sand near a boulder.

  “Lin saved you,” said Katie.

  “Thanks,” I said absentmindedly, seeing Jacoby and Dorian talking at the edge of a forest.

  “I sliced it,” explained Lin. “It’s dead.”

  “Oh.”

  Jacoby turned to us. “I warned you, Jesse,” he said in that stern parental tone of his.

  “It wasn’t my fault! The sealon shot up out of nowhere. How could we plan for that?”

  “Doesn’t matter anymore. Lorseria’s home, so we’ll stop by. I don’t want you two leaving our–”

  “Okay. . . . Bye, Duma.”

  “Duma?” said Katie. “You named her Duma?”

  “She didn’t like Silky. So I let her pick one for herself.”

  “But Duma? Your cat?”

  “I told her, but she didn’t seem to mind. And there is nothing wrong with that name.”

  Katie went over to Slim and gave him a quick rub. “Seeya, Rose.”

  “Rose?” I laughed. “You gave him a woman’s name?”

  “Nooooo. It’s interchangeable. Just like Duma is. Rose, don’t listen to him. He’s a ballerina.”

  Rose bowed his head.

  “Good. He agrees with me.”

  “I - am - not - a - ballerina,” I grumbled. “Wait, you taught her to – I mean him to communicate?”

  “Yes. He lowers his head for ‘yes’ and taps his paw for ‘no’.”

  Both of us saw Jacoby striding over. He looked cranky.

  “Close your eyes,” he ordered.

  The psyclin was becoming easier every time. The hardest part was the sudden change in supporting surface. It felt like the ground was ripped away from under my feet in one yank, and somehow I had to catch myself.

  From the looks of it, we had psyclined further inland. We were on a well-trodden dirt road, edged by a broken stone wall on the right side and an open field on the left. Hints of eerie music drifted from a town in the distance. With the huge storm clouds above, there was no telling what time of day it was.

  “Jacoby, where are we?” I asked.

  “The precinct of Berlin, Germany. That town there is home of eighty percent of the most dangerous halloweens. It’s always dark here. We aren’t going through the town, so we should be okay. When I say stay near, I mean it. You two go strolling off on one of your little adventures, you’ll get yourself killed. You two understand?”

  We both nodded. Why did he have to keep scaring us? I peeked back at the ominous town. Its lights kept getting dimmer and dimmer until the town disappeared into the dark. I hurried up to the pack and caught up with Dorian.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  THE LAIR OF THE TORTICS

  I hated how Jacoby kept making me more scared than I needed to be. He had said at the Jack O’Games that we would probably be cursed, but no one was. I was just glad to be next to Dorian. He would never say such a thing. I talked to Katie about this, and she agreed. Jacoby liked scaring people.

  “Katie, run ahead with Lin and Dorian,” said Jacoby. “I don’t trust you two together. Jesse, you’ll stay with me. We are in the nether regions of Halloween: no one likes humans here.”

  I understood that, but he didn’t have to separate us. It wasn’t like we were going to go wandering off in the dark. But Katie went with Lin and Dorian without arguing, and I followed Jacoby, who walked way too slowly. They were out of sight in minutes.

  “So what are we going to ask Lorseria?” I ventured.

  “What am I going to ask him?” corrected Jacoby. “Nothing. I’m hoping the Bell
nicsi will come up on its own.”

  “I’m not going?” I was a bit disappointed.

  “No. You’re staying with Dorian.”

  We walked for two more miles. Katie and I could usually cover that in twelve minutes, but with slow Jacoby it took close to an hour.

  “Alright,” murmured Jacoby, stopping at a clearing in the forest.

  Katie, Lin, and Dorian were already there, sitting together on a wide tree trunk.

  “Katie and Lin, you’re both staying behind with Dorian.”

  “No!” protested Lin. His ears were fluttering. He hopped off the trunk and approached Jacoby. “I am coming with you. You’re going to need my help. I am a brave boy. I’ll take on a tortic any day.”

  As Jacoby reached for Lin’s head, Lin pulled away and screamed into the trees, “Lorseria! Jacoby, stop being such a mons mummy. They probably heard us already.”

  Why would Lin do that? There was a rustle in the branches of a tipped over tree. Dorian psyclined immediately.

  “Come out so I can see you,” said Jacoby calmly, staring into the branches. “I’m here to speak to Lorseria.”

  The branches magically parted, and a giant tortic stepped through. They were a lot taller up close. This one was maybe nine feet tall. His thin stomach was making a grating noise as he breathed. The big-eared tortic looked my way.

  “We’re not here to cause trouble,” informed Jacoby. He then spoke in German. The tortic seemed displeased with the last thing he had said and gripped his neck.

  “I’m fine!” said Jacoby, louder than usual, grimacing a little.

  Confused by his words, the tortic twisted Jacoby’s neck slightly. “Who you speak to?” he said in broken English.

  He took a sniff as Jacoby quickly summoned some kind of cold-air spell, causing the temperature to drop so the tortic couldn’t smell Dorian. The tortic gave up and said, “All of you, follow me.”

  We followed slowly behind. I started saying something, but Jacoby immediately turned around and put his index finger to his lips. “It won’t be long!” he called out to some shrubs. “Nothing will happen!”

  The tortic glanced back irritably, finding only the four of us. When he turned back around, Jacoby slipped a small piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me.

 

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