I asked Ray if all the massive financial devastation she’d caused would lower the total value of what she got, but he said no. This was incredibly unfair, and she could continue to profit from her lies and take more from me. Jess had about $5,000 in net worth when we were married, and all the gains we’d made were because of my hard work. The huge losses were due to her. I should have been a lot farther ahead financially, and I was still paying off my starter home because of Jess. Her low net worth when we met and the amount she could take now did not sit well with me. I now understood why so many men use the c-word when describing their ex-wives. It’s crude and not right, but I understood how they felt.
On November 14, Jessica sent Ray an e-mail to ask if Jess could come to my house and get some more personal items and pick up Sasi. Jess needed her winter clothes, coats, blankets, and a computer monitor. This was sent on a Saturday, but Ray didn’t work on Saturdays. What was Jessica thinking with this last-minute request? She should have known better than to do this. Ray forwarded me the e-mail on Monday morning, and I replied that I was available on Tuesday or Wednesday after 5:00 p.m. Jess didn’t show up.
Jessica and Ray also agreed to have the divorce settlement conference delayed to until after the mediation meeting. The settlement conference was set for February 25, 2016, with a trial date set in March if we couldn’t agree to mutual terms of the divorce.
At the mediation meeting on December 4 at The Reed Law Group office, Ray and I were in one room, and Jess and Jessica were in another. The mediator, Craig, first met with us for about fifteen minutes, and then he met with Jess. He came back with a dismayed look on his face. Craig told us that within thirty seconds of talking with Jess, he knew she had major issues and was unemployable. This was not good, as he also was supposed to give suggestions as to how much spousal support she would get. Luckily his opinions were mere suggestions and were not enforceable. Jess and I had to agree on everything.
I had Craig ask Jess if she could come over to my house and take Sasi with her. Sasi was not doing well without Jess, and my concern for Sasi’s welfare was genuine. Craig went and talked with Jess, and then he came back with another look of dismay. Jess demanded that I pay her $10,000 to take Sasi. She was trying to extort me, claiming she needed the money to get a new place that allowed dogs. I didn’t believe this latest con. She had planned to pick up Sasi two weeks ago, but now she was using her dog as a bargaining chip to get cash. Jess knew Sasi wasn’t doing well without her, but instead of doing what was best for Sasi, Jess was using her to get money. That was very coldhearted to the dog Jess claimed to love. My opinion now was that Jess didn’t know what love was anymore.
All of us finally met in one room together and attempted to work out division of the assets. It did not go well, with Jess refusing to be reasonable and wanting far more than what she was entitled to. Everyone in the room had frustrated looks on their faces when Jess was trying to get me to agree to wildly unreasonable demands. Mediation ended with barely anything accomplished, and Craig was going to send us his final recommendations.
I expected a detailed report of Craig’s recommendations for property division and spousal support, but he sent only a poorly worded and incomplete e-mail. This was extremely unprofessional by my standards. Craig was asking for full payment for the services he had provided, but I told Ray that his failure to give a reasonable report on mediation suggestions didn’t warrant full payment. When Craig finished his job as a professional, I would pay him—not before.
On December 17, Jessica’s law firm sent a Request, Consent, and Order for Withdrawal of Attorney for Defendant. It appeared either they’d had enough of Jess’s nonsense or Jess didn’t want them to represent her anymore. That was the third law firm Jess had blown through, and it was very telling of Jess’s behavior and her inability to be reasonable and work with others. However, Jessica was starting her own firm, and she was willing to file an appearance for this case and still represent Jess.
I had no idea what actually happened between Jess and the law firm. It was possible that with Jessica leaving the firm, Jess wanted to stay with her. After all, Jessica had been incredibly vicious to me during the PPO mess, and I was sure Jess was impressed with that. I suspected there was also the fact that Jessica knew how much my 401(k) was worth and that she could continue to rack up billing hours for all Jess’s unreasonable requests. Jessica knew she would be paid by placing a lien on Jess’s portion of the 401(k). Many attorneys love cash cows like Jess who constantly rack up billing hours.
Two days later Jessica sent Ray an e-mail stating that Jess “would really like to come and get Sasi, especially with the upcoming holidays.” This was unreal. First Jess failed to pick her up, and then she tried to extort me for $10,000. Now two weeks later, she wanted to get Sasi without my paying. Oh well—I expected crazy behavior from Jess. We agreed that Jess would come over on December 21 to get Sasi with a civil standby.
Jess was an emotional wreck when she came over. A cop was present when she was at my home. I sent an e-mail to Ray the next day describing what had happened:
It did not go well. She was crying and a wreck when she first came in the house.
She showed up demanding all sorts of things and had a long list of items she wanted to take. Attached is the list. She did take Sasi though. Giving me a long list of demands right when she shows up is unacceptable and I won’t allow it next time. She must send a list of things she wants beforehand so I can get them ready. She was ranting to the cop I was throwing her things away because I could not find them fast enough. She also lied to the cop saying I had been hitting her and don’t give her any money. I tried to accommodate her, but all I got was more false accusations and abuse. I won’t put up with this behavior.
The cop was getting very irritated at her due to her behavior. He had to stop her multiple times when she started going off on me. He even told her to leave the room we were in a few times due to her extreme behavior. She left angry, highly agitated and left before getting all her winter clothes and other items. I wouldn’t let her take the TV in the living room and coffee maker that I use every day and that really set her off.
She was very upset that her motorcycle was outside. I bought a cover for it, so it’s covered and locked with a chain to the driveway with a concrete anchor. Told her she can come anytime and put it in storage somewhere because that’s what I had to do with mine to fit my vehicle in the garage. Attached is a picture of it outside.
Jess was supposed to take her motorcycle when she was kicked out of the house, but she didn’t. She’d had four months to get it, but as usual, she wouldn’t act. I couldn’t fit my pickup in the garage with her motorcycle in it, so I’d put the motorcycle outside. Jess was very angry and demanded I put her motorcycle in the garage. I told her she could take her bike anytime, but my truck was staying in the garage during the winter so I didn’t have to scrape frost off the windshield every day and clear off the snow. This only enraged her more. Too bad. I gave Jess a bunch of items on her list, but much of it still had to be mutually agreed on with future negotiations. Jess wanted to take the entire Pfaltzgraff twelve-setting dinnerware set my mom got us as a wedding gift, but I said no way; that would be determined in the property settlement. That pissed her off also.
Jess was also very upset about being recorded on my NVR system. One camera on the porch was very obvious to anyone coming in the home, and the other inside camera stood out in the hallway to see when people came inside the front door.
Jess told the cop, “He can’t record me without my permission.”
The cop told her it was my house and I had every right to record what was going on. She went on a couple more rants expressing her outrage, but he ignored her. When Jess went back outside, I showed the cop how I could see all my cameras on my smartphone anywhere in the world where I had Internet access. He was really impressed with the quality of the video feed and said he wished more people had systems with this great resolution. It would make the
ir jobs a lot easier in terms of identifying and arresting criminals. I didn’t tell him these cameras were also to protect myself against cops who lie to justify an arrest.
Jess went off on me again, claiming I should pay her back $12,000 from the sale of her property in 2011. She claimed it had been her mother’s money and that I’d used it to buy a motorcycle. This was clearly delusional; my motorcycle had cost only $4,400, and we’d both used the cash to pay for household expenses and her motorcycle. I asked her, “How about you paying back the almost seventy-four thousand dollars you took from my mom?”
She immediately shot back, saying that was a “business investment.” It was typical Jess. She refused to see the reality of the damage she had caused and wanted only to take more from others.
At the end of December, I discovered that Jess had misused my pretax health savings account. She had drained the account of all funds. She went to an out-of-network dentist to get a new crown; this was a violation of the status quo court order. She also used the rest of the funds to buy an expensive teeth-whitening kit and an electric toothbrush from the dentist, which was double the cost she would have paid in a store. Buying cosmetic items is prohibited with health savings account funds per IRS rules, and Jess knew this. She did it anyway. I could have taken her to court for contempt on this with a sure win, but once again my attorney fees would exceed the amount I would get back.
The next few months consisted of typical divorce settlement issues, with us going back and forth as we tried to agree on terms. One big issue was Jess’s existing tax debt with the IRS and the state of Michigan. It was huge—more than $70,000. I was stuck with half of it. The only reason I had to pay was because, early in Jess’s business, our accountant had suggested we file a joint return so that losses from her business would be subtracted from my income. We would get a larger return that way. It had seemed like a good idea way back then, but now this was coming full circle as another financial hit I had to endure. Because I had profited from the business loss, I also was expected to pay any taxes that had not been paid. Damn. We also tried to work out property division with all the items in the house along with spousal support amounts, but Jess was being completely unreasonable.
We attempted to work with a so-called tax expert, but in my opinion, he was of little assistance and billed more than $300 an hour. So far every high-priced expert referred to me by attorneys had utterly failed. The tax guy’s only decent recommendation was to delay the divorce until a compromise offer could be reached with the IRS. The divorce settlement conference was delayed to May 19 with a trial in June if we could not agree on terms.
On March 1, Jessica was supposed to attend a meeting with a different tax consultant since the first expert hadn’t done much, but Jess flip-flopped again. Jessica sent this in an e-mail to Ray: “That will not work; I no longer have my client’s approval to attend the meeting.” Jessica also wrote that she was withdrawing from Jess’s case as her attorney. Jess had now blown through four law firms. In Jessica’s motion to the court to withdraw, she wrote:
MRPC 1.16(b) (3) through (6) apply in this situation.
(3) the client insists upon pursuing an objective that the lawyer considers repugnant or imprudent;
(4) the client fails substantially to fulfill an obligation to the lawyer regarding the lawyer’s services and has been given reasonable warning that the lawyer will withdraw unless the obligation is fulfilled;
(5) the representation will result in an unreasonable financial burden on the lawyer or has been rendered unreasonably difficult by the client; or
(6) other good cause for withdrawal exists.
I was not surprised. It was typical behavior for Jess, and Jessica couldn’t deal with her anymore. The money must not have been worth it. I didn’t feel sorry for Jessica at all in her claim that “the representation will result in an unreasonable financial burden on the lawyer or has been rendered unreasonably difficult by the client.” After the pure bullshit she had gone after me with during the PPO hearing trying to destroy my life, too damned bad for her. Boo-freaking-hoo. Any intelligent attorney had to suspect that Jess had severe issues and was full of crap.
I noticed in the title Jessica had given herself at her own firm, she included mediation and claimed she was a “Problem Solver.” That was laughable. From my perspective, her actions had only inflamed the situation, causing thousands more dollars in legal fees, emotional turmoil, and problems. A mediator was supposed to calm issues, not ramp them up. Based on my experience with her, I would never, ever consider having or recommending her to mediate any issue. The previous law firm that had employed her, The Reed Law Group, seemed to have it together and engaged in fair representation.
Reflecting on all that had happened to me, I could see that women had caused all my recent problems. It seemed like most of them had utterly failed to seek any truth and had run wild with emotions to attack me. My contempt toward women in general was at an all-time high. I didn’t want any of their raging emotional shit or justification to lie in my life.
There were only a little more than two months left to get all the tax issues cleared up and both of us to consent to a divorce settlement. On March 15, Ray got an e-mail from Jess’s fifth law firm that was working on the divorce settlement. I wondered if Ray had talked with the new guy and informed him of all the crap Jess had pulled and what to expect when dealing with Jess. To put an end to this madness, we started on the settlement talks immediately.
In the meantime, at the end of March, Jess and I were dropped from the enhanced health insurance plan I had from Ford. The insurance provider put us on a plan with fewer benefits and doubled the copay amounts. Many services were more costly, and we had no out-of-network coverage. For the past few years, Jess and I had done an online assessment, and our primary-care doctors had sent in a qualification form. This year Jess had failed to have her doctor send in her form. Because we were on the same policy, our health insurance provider had dropped us both from the existing plan.
Prior to our being dropped, Ray had sent multiple notices to Jess’s attorney stating that she absolutely had to get this done before the end of March. Jess claimed she had, but obviously she hadn’t. I called our insurer and was told I would have to appeal to their board to get just myself put back on the enhanced plan. Jess had struck again, and once again I was harmed by her actions. In previous years, Jess had procrastinated until the very last day to get this done, even though I had tried my best to get her to do it earlier.
With Jess’s new attorney, we worked out the issue with her tax debt. Before Jess received any distribution from my 401(k), pension, or equity in my house, she had to get an offer in compromise with the IRS and the Michigan Department of Treasury. That way she could prove that she had no savings and that there was no way she could pay this large tax bill. Her inability to pay was to be used to get a better offer from the IRS. The reduced amount of taxes she owed would be split evenly between us. There were also tax liens on my home because of her debt.
Ray and I drafted up a consent judgment of divorce, which we sent back and forth with Jess’s attorney, James, and we were finally able to agree on support payments. I was stuck paying her $1,800 a month for four years. Jess wanted more than $2,000 a month for eight years, but James was able to talk sense into her. To my benefit, Jess inadvertently made a huge mistake in denying us her medical records when I was fighting her PPO. With her blocking any medical record access, any inability-to-work claims due to medical issues could not be used to get higher levels of spousal support. Ray pointed this out during the spousal support negotiations.
Michigan spousal support payments are determined by a formula that takes into account the requesting spouse’s income potential and schooling, the other spouse’s income, the amount of time the couple was married, and other factors. James probably showed her this formula and told her that by law she could get no more. The formula is always the determining factor, and there is no escaping it.
On
e thing I was surprised Jess agreed to was that we put in a staples bar—this prevents spousal support from being modified. She can’t go back to the court later on and ask for more money or to extend my support payments. If this staples bar hadn’t been in the divorce judgment and I got a promotion or pay raise, Jess could petition the court that my promotion was because of her support in the marriage, and I would have to pay her more. I also wanted this in because I was sure she would petition the court to extend the support payments when the four years of payments were up.
The downside was that if some poor deluded fool married her, I was still obligated to pay her spousal support. I would take that chance, as only a lovesick idiot would not see how many issues she had developed now. However, Jess’s physical beauty was very appealing. It would make many men go stupid by thinking with their peckers instead of their brains. Dad had commented during the DV mess that Jess had lost much of her beauty in the last few years and had a very haggard appearance now. He said the pills she took and stress had taken their toll on her. She was still way above average in looks though and was stunning when she dressed up.
On May 19, 2016, we went in front of the judge with our consent judgment of divorce. While I drove to the courthouse, some evil thoughts entered my head. I still had a $200,000 life insurance policy on her, and we had a $750,000 accidental death policy. The spouse would get only half of the accidental death policy. Still, I thought, if Jess were wiped out on the road that day in an accident, I would get $575,000 with her death. I would keep all my assets with no other payments to her. This $575,000 would allow me to break even, thanks to all the financial losses she had caused. I remembered what countless people had told me before—that they hoped something would happen to her for my family’s sake, due to the hell she had put us all through. She was lucky I was a good man and not violent.
Tales of the Crazy Page 28
