by Golden Angel
There. That way she knew that eventually they'd hang out. Just not right now. Rick gave her as much of a smile as he could, knowing that it was fake as hell looking, and walked away as quickly as he could while she blinked and looked confused. Probably she'd been expecting some kind of confrontation, he thought as he went through the men's room and out towards the apartment building. Maybe some kind of deep heart to heart. Okay, maybe not that at the pool, but at least some kind of conversation or whatever.
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe never.
******
It felt like there was a fist in her chest, and it was squeezing the shit out of her heart.
Maria slowly set down her pool stuff, blinking back tears. There were enough people around the pool that she didn't want to go running back out, making Rick's rejection plain to anyone who happened to be watching. Thank god she was wearing sunglasses.
He hadn't been. And his eyes had been as icy and cold as his last name.
What had she done wrong? What had changed between last night and this morning? He'd been so caring, so attentive last night... he'd asked if she wanted to go to dinner, and then he'd dropped her off at her door with a sweet, gentle kiss to her forehead...
She'd only gotten a few hours of sleep last night after her body had wound down from the intensity of their scene at Stronghold and she'd spent hours thinking through everything that had happened. It hadn't taken her too long to realize that yes, she'd been a bit high on pleasure and that declaring undying devotion to Rick was definitely not where she was actually at emotionally, but that she definitely felt a lot for him that went beyond mere affection. Their attraction to each other had led to explosively hot intimacy and she could only imagine that actual sex was better.
But maybe after the scene he'd had time to sit and think too... maybe he'd been high on the chemistry but had ultimately decided that he didn't want her for whatever reason. After all, he'd asked her to dinner right after the scene. Maybe after they'd both come down from the high, he'd realized that she didn't actually have what he wanted. Needed.
The Introductory Scene hadn't been much like she'd imagined. Sure, she'd been spanked - and it had been pretty hot - and he'd teased the hell out of her before letting her orgasm, but that definitely didn't encompass everything that was possible. Had he tried to do anything that she didn't like? Sitting on the pool chair, she cast her mind back, trying to think.
Some parts of the night were a big blur. She couldn't remember everything. But she trusted that Rick had taken care of her through that. If she just knew what he wanted from her now, she was more than willing to try. Heck, she'd been half out of her mind last night... if she hadn't been able to do something for him...
There was no way she was chasing after him to find out what though. She didn't think she could do it without crying and she sure as hell didn't want him to try again with her out of pity or guilt or something.
Feeling small and cold, as if the sun was just glancing off of her skin without warming it, Maria looked around the pool. One of the moms waved to her and she waved back. Fuck it. She didn't care what any of these people thought if she spent less than ten minutes poolside. They all recognized her, but they didn't know her.
She couldn't just sit here acting like everything was normal. She needed to find out what she'd done wrong. Fortunately, she knew just who to call.
Grabbing her bag, Maria swept back up to her apartment, only hesitating in front of Rick's door for a moment. Nope. She wasn't going to knock. Not right now. Maybe later if no one picked up their phones. And only if she could get her roiling emotions under control.
The second she was alone in her apartment, with the door securely closed behind her, Maria dug her phone out of her pool bag.
"Please pick up, please pick up," she murmured as the phone rang. Relief flooded her as the call connected.
"Maria! Hey, what's up?" Angel's warm, excited voice seemed to wrap around Maria, promising support and friendship and all the things Maria desperately wanted from the women of Stronghold.
Emotion welled in her throat and chest. She'd been on such a roller coaster ride for the past twenty four hours. All the fear and anxiety last night, combined with excitement and arousal, followed by passion and pleasure, then confusion and caution and now this morning... rejection and doubts.
"I-" Maria choked and burst into tears. She didn't even know how to say what had just happened or what to say. Everything was just hitting her all at once and she sank down, leaning on the arm of her couch as she cried.
"Maria?! Maria, are you okay? Are you having sub-drop? Shit, do you know what sub-drop is? Maria? Should I call Rick?"
"NO!" Well that word got out okay and it was the catalyst that allowed Maria to start to get control over herself again. Her cheeks were wet with her tears and her chest still ached, the fist inside of it clenching even harder, but at least she could get words out. "Don't call him. Please. He doesn't... he doesn't..." want me. The tears threatened again as she swallowed the words.
"Are you sure?" Frantic concern laced Angel's voice, helping to buoy Maria's spirits. "What's wrong? What happened?"
"I don't think Rick wants me." God she sounded so broken, and the sobs welled up again, tears spilling back down her cheeks. Stupid emotions. When had she gotten so wrapped up in him? Sure, she'd wanted him, and she'd thought, hey let's try the sex thing to see if it'll work out, see if a relationship is possible, but she hadn't expected to feel like this if it didn't. As if her heart was already breaking.
Through tears and sniffles, Maria dragged herself up and onto the couch, rather than kneeling beside it, curled in a little ball and hugging one of her cushions for comfort, she choked out the whole story to a sympathetically furious Angel. All the while, her head pounded and her chest ached as if her rib cage was compressing inward.
By the time she was done, she was leaning her head on the back of the couch, feeling more than a little lost and forlorn, although at least the tears had finally stopped.
"I just don't know what I did... or didn't do. I was hoping that maybe... maybe you'd heard something from Adam or... or knew something..."
"No, sweetie, I'm sorry," Angel said, her voice low and soothing. Comforting. "Rick didn't talk to anyone after you guys left last night, but I'll bet - I'm sure - this is just some kind of misunderstanding. You didn't do anything wrong. He told Olivia last night after your scene that you were perfect."
"Then why doesn't he want me now?" Maria practically wailed, although now that she wasn't crying, she was starting to feel kind of pissed. What the hell was wrong with the man? Last night he was all communication, communication, communication and then this morning he wouldn't even talk to her! How could they fix whatever had gone wrong if he wouldn't talk?!
"I don't know what happened, but you can bet I'm going to find out." Despite the fact that Angel sounded grim and rather threatening, Maria just found that even more comforting. She had someone in her corner. Someone who wasn't one of her sisters, which was a nice feeling. "Can I call you later?"
Sniffling a little, Maria glanced at the clock and groaned. "I have to leave for work in an hour, I'll be there until around 7 or 8 tonight probably. But you can leave me a message. Or just come by and see me."
"Awesome. I will get back to you today. You can count on it."
Angel sounded an awful lot like Maria when she went into Mama Bear mode over one of her sisters. Was this how her sisters felt when that happened? All comforted and taken care of?
"Thanks," Maria said with a little laugh. She wasn't happy, but she was feeling much better. At the very least, she was hoping that maybe if Rick wasn't going to talk to her that he'd at least talk to someone, and that she could at least find out what happened.
Maria could handle rejection, it had happened before, even if it hadn't hurt this much. What she couldn't handle was not knowing why. Especially when, from her end, everything had seemed so good. And Rick had told Olivia that
she was perfect, so seriously... what the fuck?
******
"What the fuck, Rick?"
Great. Angry, fire-breathing Adam. Definitely not what Rick felt like dealing with right now. Even worse, he had no idea what Adam was mad about. Could be just about anything. Rick had been at Adam's office all morning, doing stuff for Justin, but he couldn't actually remember what he'd done because his head was so fogged over and distracted.
Going by the expression on Adam's face, he'd probably fucked up something major.
"Sorry man... I'm kind of out of it. What'd I do?"
Adam stalked into Rick's makeshift office, slamming the door behind him as he glared at Rick, crossing his arms over his chest and making the suit jacket he was wearing go very tight around his shoulders.
"Would you like to explain what happened between you and Maria?" Adam asked, practically looming over Rick from across the desk.
Anger flickered. "How is that your business?"
"Well it becomes my business when my girlfriend calls me and rants to me for thirty straight minutes about my asshole friends who made their new sister-friend - whatever the fuck that means - cry this morning."
Ouch. It felt like someone had just punched Rick in the gut. "She was crying?" He couldn't even fake indifference or keep the concern out of his voice.
Raising one blonde eyebrow, Adam's glare turned even more contemptuous. "Sobbing, according to Angel, because you don't want her anymore and she has no idea why. Which, after an intense scene like I hear you two had last night, she's probably feeling like you've seriously fucked with her head. So now my girlfriend would like to know why I'm friends with such a fucktard and, additionally, wants to kick your ass. When I tried to defend you, she told me that she hopes I step on a thousand Legos and then she hung up on me." Adam glared. "The yelling and nagging I can take. It hurts my ears but at least she's just talking at me. Hanging up on me means she's probably scattering Lego booby traps around my house. So yeah, this is my fucking business because somehow I got dragged into this shit and now I'm going to have to watch my every step in my own goddamn house. Now. Would you like to explain what happened between you and Maria?"
Rick tried to feel angry again, but the strongest emotion he could summon was maudlin. He should probably be mad that Angel was getting into his business, and dragging Adam into it as well, but if Maria was really that upset about the end of their friendship then he was glad she had someone there for her. Even if it was one of his best friend's girlfriends, who happened to be a good friend herself. Although he didn't think he'd be giving Angel a call to chat anytime soon.
"The scene was intense and afterwards she didn't want anything to do with me. I realized that I'd gotten everything built up in my head, exactly the way Olivia warned me about, and that I'd spun this perfect little fantasy of the future. This morning I didn't really want to hear the 'let's just be friends' talk from her and so I kind of brushed her off. And I'm sorry if that hurt her, I'll apologize to her later, but I just couldn't deal with it."
For a long moment, Adam and Rick just stared at each other, and then Adam seemed to soften. Well, as much as he ever did. Sighing, the other man uncrossed his arms and tugged on the bottom of his suit jacket to straighten it back to its usual, impeccable state.
"Just so you know, I got the impression from Angel that Maria is not upset over the loss of your friendship. I don't know where you got the idea that she just wants to be friends, but you should probably have some kind of talk with her or you're going to have trouble getting any of the girls to talk to you."
"Better than nagging me," Rick muttered under his breath as Adam reached the door. Adam shook his head, a smile breaking out on his face.
"You have a lot to learn, Rick. Nagging is a sign that she cares and hasn't given up on you. Silence means she's plotting your death." Adam sighed, but that stupid little smile stayed on his face. "Or planting Lego booby-traps."
Looking surprisingly content for a man who was contemplating serious foot pain, Adam left. Rick groaned and let his head fall down onto the desk, banging it several times. What the fuck was going on? Had he misinterpreted Maria last night? No... she'd definitely wanted to be left alone. Hell, he'd asked her if she wanted to have dinner and go back to the club and she'd put him off. Then she'd been silent the entire car ride home. And hadn't said anything beyond "Good night" when he'd walked her to the door. How else was he supposed to have taken that?
Maybe Angel had misinterpreted when she'd talked to Maria. He could see that happening. Or maybe Maria had changed her mind again? Did he really want to try to start something with someone who constantly changed their mind about what they wanted?
Then again, he was already miserable. Maybe being miserable in a relationship with an uncertain Maria would be less miserable that not having her in his life at all. Rick gave a short laugh. Yeah, all he needed to do was look at Jared and Marissa to know that was a seriously fucked up way to go.
No he wanted what Angel and Adam had. A real relationship, where even though she called him up, yelled at him, and threatened him with stupid pranks, the man was walking around with a smile on his face. Probably because he was already contemplating her punishment. Rick wished he was contemplating punishments for Maria and not just wallowing in his own little personal hell.
"Hey Rick?"
Glaring, Rick lifted his head up again. "Are you here to yell at me too?"
Justin's lips quirked as he eased more of himself into the doorway, leaning against it rather than just poking his head in. "I don't know, should I be?"
"No, no definitely not."
The dark-haired man studied him for a moment before nodding his head. Rick didn't doubt that his friend would be stopping by Adam's office immediately after this to find out what was going on. A bunch of gossip girls, that's what his friends were.
"I just wanted to see if you had the resumes ready for Dana yet."
Right, that's what he'd been doing. Going through the resumes they'd gotten over the website and doing the initial sorting of the good ones from the bad ones. Adam called it using Rick's English teacher profession to his advantage. All Rick had to do was weed out all the ones with spelling or grammatical mistakes and then send the good batch on to HR to go through.
He glanced at the computer screen. "Almost done."
Hesitating, Justin tapped his fingers against the door frame. "Maybe you should take a break after. Wanna go out to lunch today?"
Not really, but he knew what his answer better be unless he wanted a male pow-wow in this stupid office during the afternoon.
"Yeah, sure."
Giving him an encouraging nod, Justin vacated the doorway. Rick let his head slam against the desk a couple more times for good measure before taking a deep breath and getting back to work.
******
Maria was already at the bar, helping out the bartenders who had gotten a bit overwhelmed, when Angel, Jessica and Lexie showed up. Apparently everyone wanted to get out and celebrate the end of the week, and she couldn't blame them. Today had been hectically busy, which she'd been grateful for because it kept her from moping and checking her phone every five minutes to see if either Rick or Angel had tried to get in contact with her.
Still, her spirits lifted for the first time all day when she saw those three smiling faces. People that, she realized, she already considered her friends. Fastest friends she'd ever made, and yet she trusted them. Maybe it was because of what they had in common; they pretty much had to trust each other on a certain level because of what they knew about each other.
Despite how crowded the bar was, they didn't have any trouble getting to the counter. A group of college guys willingly moved aside when Lexie tapped one of them on the shoulder and gave him a brilliant smile. Wearing a lacy black tank top, dark grey shorts, and some pretty heels that gave her several extra inches of height, she still looked delicate and pixie-like. And those bright blue eyes of hers stood out because of the lack of other
colors she was wearing. One look at her, and the curvier brunettes behind her, and the guys were practically falling over themselves to show their courtesy by letting the girls through to the bar.
Jessica's hazel eyes were sparkling with amusement as she gave Lexie a sidelong look, obviously thinking that it was only the younger woman that the guys were interested in. Maria wondered if Jessica realized that three of the guys behind her were currently checking out her ass.
"Hey ladies, what can I get you?" The forced smile on Maria's face had started to feel almost natural, but she could tell that they weren't fooled.
Angel glanced at her watch which was set into a delicate looking bracelet made up of gold and tiny sparkling gems. It went surprisingly well with the casual peach sundress she was wearing, probably because of the gold chain that was wrapped twice around her neck. "Depends... do you know what time you're off?"
"Ummm...." Maria glanced around the bar. It was after seven, but she always stayed until she was no longer needed. Still, most of the rush already had their drinks which meant that things behind the bar would slow down to a more even keel soon. "I can probably get out of here in half an hour."
"Soooo... one drink. Pre-gaming!" Lexie said gleefully.
"Pre-gaming?"
Jessica grinned. "For Stronghold girls’ night. As soon as you're done here, we're taking you to Olivia's."
"That..." Relief and a kind of awed happiness filled her. "That sounds amazing."
Girl time, with these ladies, where she could vent and ask questions, and not have to worry about being judged... yeah, that sounded fucking awesome. Otherwise she'd be tempted to call up Jackie and would probably end up spilling a lot more than she meant to.
"Great. In the meantime, I'll have a glass of white wine," Jessica said.
Angel looked at the board where Murphy's listed their specials. "Dark and Stormy."
"Tequila sunrise." Lexie just grinned at Jessica's look. "What, I already called out of work tonight."
"That's going to get you in trouble," Angel murmured as Maria poured Jessica's glass of wine. Maria looked at her with raised eyebrows, wondering why Patrick would object to Lexie calling out of work. "Lexie and I might have arranged for a bucket of glitter to fall on Patrick's head yesterday... completely covering him and quite a bit of his carpet."
