by Candace Sams
He nodded. “Yes, everyone knows who you are. And I'm sure you'd like to talk to Tearach alone.” He looked at Tearach. “Mind your manners, or I'll be in with enough sedation to bring a draft horse to its knees."
He smiled again at Kathy, gently touched her shoulder and left. Hugh nodded to her and followed the doctor.
Tearach glared at Owen's retreating figure. All he could think about was getting free and tearing into him. Then Kathy walked into the bedside light. He lay back, closed his eyes and hoped the action would be enough to will her away. She was the last person he wanted to be near. For her to see him trussed up like some penned hog was demeaning to the core. Not that he had much pride or dignity left as it was.
"What do you want?” he ground out.
Kathy glanced at the nylon restraints holding him to the bed. There were triple the amount a human would need, but Tearach wasn't human. His hands clenched and pulled at the constricting wristbands. “I was hoping there was a way to get you out of here and take you home. Cairna almost made herself ill from worrying over you. The Sorceress has had to sedate her."
His eyes shot open and his gaze met hers. “She's all right, isn't she?"
"For the moment. But she won't stay well if this keeps up. It isn't just her physical state. Her emotional state is pretty fragile. She thinks your present predicament is her fault."
He shook his head. “This has nothing to do with her."
"Where have you been? Everyone's been worried."
"That's none of your concern or anyone else's,” he snapped.
Kathy paused for a moment before continuing. “Lore says you throttled some of his men when they asked the same question.” She saw a contrite look pass briefly across his handsome face, and he stopped struggling with the restraints.
"I did hurt them."
"I'm sure you're not very popular right now. Why did you fight them?"
He closed his eyes again. “I ... I don't know.” Frustration ate at him. He was consumed with both it and his guilt at having struck out at people who were his friends. It was as though everyone and everything in the world had become an enemy. His people were dying and he'd failed them. At every turn, he'd failed.
Kathy pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down. “You can talk to me or not. But I won't leave until things are settled between us.” When he remained silent as stone, she tried again. “All right. I'll stay here and annoy the hell out of you until you talk. You can fight or scream obscenities until the walls melt, but I won't leave. All you'll succeed in doing is having that doctor come back in here with a needle the size of a ten-penny nail. It'll be filled with a sedative, and I'll still be here when you wake up. So, what's it to be?"
"Damned your white hide!” he spat out.
"Okay. We'll start there. Are you angry because I'm white or because you're green?"
He raised his head and shot her a murderous glare. She just stared back. “Go away!"
"Are you angry with Cairna?"
"I love Cairna. I could never be angry with her."
"But she hurt you. Is that why you're fighting people?"
"No! Go away!” He pulled at the restraints again.
"You're acting like a child."
"Then leave and you won't have to put up with it,” he growled.
She took a deep breath and silently counted to ten. “I'm sorry I ran away from you. It was one of the most stupid, juvenile, cowardly, mean ... You can stop me anytime, you know."
The soft tone of her voice was like ice on a burn. He didn't want to listen. It was as though he was being compelled to do so. “I don't really blame you for that. At least, not anymore."
His response encouraged her. She leaned forward and placed her forearms on the bed. “Talk to me."
He swallowed hard, took a deep breath and tried to begin. “It's ... so ... I don't know..."
"Just start anywhere,” she softly murmured.
"I was angry with you for hurting Cairna. Hurt because she sided with you, and I...” His voice cracked.
Kathy gently placed her hand upon his strong chest. She could feel his heart racing and the look in his eyes was so heartbreaking. Granite would crack before that ungodly, sorrowful look.
"I went back to Exmoor. There's still not one living thing there.” He paused long enough to gain a little control. “My people are dying. The Sorceress thinks she can wave a metaphorical magic wand and make the problems go away. And the worst thing of all is that my own baby will go on a fire with the ghosts of hundreds of others. I don't want to see the look on your face when I take it away. It'll be the same look I've seen dozens of times before. I'd rather be dead than see that horrible gaze one more time."
Tears filled her eyes and she leaned toward him. “There's more, isn't there?"
Tearach forced back the lump in his throat, ignored the pain in his chest and kept going. “As hard as I think the entire process is on me, the parents of all those dead children are left behind with empty hearts and no hope. My people will die. We were here before the ancient Celts. My own bloodline sat at the right hand of King Arthur. We walked with the sun upon our faces and our heads held high. Humans were our equals. Now, we hide in shrubs and take their leavings, grateful for even that."
He took a deep breath and growled out the rest. “I feel like ... like a hunted animal trapped against a wall. I know everything I am, all I care for, is going to perish, and all I want to do is fight until the end. That's how I felt after returning from Exmoor. I just wanted to fight anyone or anything that got in front of me."
Kathy wanted to crawl into some hole and weep. Apparently, no one had once given a thought to what this man had gone through for eight long years. He had been expected to do his duty, regardless of the toll it took on him. The families of the dead had some small comfort with each other. Tearach had no one to whom he could turn. Kathy was certain he'd never shared what he was feeling with another living soul. He'd have considered it a gutless weakness. Especially in light of the suffering others endured. His next words confirmed her conclusion.
"There you have it,” he finished. “My poor answer to an unsolved problem. I wish with all my heart that I could have been a better leader."
Tearach didn't steel himself for her response. He no longer cared. Having emptied his heart, there was nothing left but a dark hole in his chest. Nothing left to hurt. The rage it took to strike out was gone. So, almost, was the will to even take the next breath. He made one last resolve. When his child died, so would he. A poor leader could save his pride, and that of his people, by choosing death. In centuries past, this resolution would have been expected, even demanded, from him. The decision calmed him as nothing ever had. His race needed someone who wouldn't falter in the face of despair.
But Kathy's response wasn't what he'd expected. She slowly untied the restraints and pulled them away. Then, as soft as a warm breeze, she pulled him to her and held him close. There were no tears or words. She just held him for a long time.
Finally, she moved away and placed a gentle hand against his cheek and whispered, “Let's get you the hell out of here."
* * * *
When they emerged from the room there was no one in sight. They left the castle without anyone questioning their movements. Kathy would have commented upon the ease with which Tearach had left, but she knew the Sorceress would come looking for them eventually.
The second Tearach opened the cottage door, Cairna pounced down the stairs and leapt toward him. She wrapped her arms about him in a crushing embrace. “She's brought you back. Oh, Uncle Tearach, I was so worried about you. I'm sorry for what I said. I'm so sorry..."
"It's all right, Cairna.” He hugged her back. “Let's not speak about it again. Besides, I've decided you were right. I want to see the baby born, and I'm ashamed of my attitude. I've only been thinking of myself."
Kathy watched Tearach's face when he made his apology. He was telling Cairna what he thought would end her fears and mend the rift between them
. She knew nothing had changed as far as his real feelings were concerned. His eyes, when they met Kathy's, were cold as winter. For some reason he was going to play the charade to the end, and Kathy feared his motives.
He and Cairna comforted each other for several more minutes. Tearach finally sent the emotionally spent girl to bed, promising to talk about the baby in the morning. When the door to her room closed, his facade dropped. He walked into the living room, poured himself a very large measure of scotch and drained the glass.
"Why are you lying to her?” Kathy stood behind him and waited for his answer.
"It's what she wants to hear.” He shrugged. “If everyone wants to believe this curse, or whatever it is, is over, then let them. It's not worth tearing people apart any longer."
"What will you do? Pretend you believe everything will be all right for the next few months?"
"If that's what everyone wants, then why not? I can't and won't fight this anymore. I'm through trying."
The despair in his voice almost broke her resolve to stay calm. “What will you really do when the baby comes?"
"Hold it for as long as I can and love it forever.” He wearily turned toward the staircase. “I'm going to bed. Wake me when the Sorceress gets here. I'm sure she'll come around sunrise."
Kathy wanted to go after him and make him talk to her. There was a deadly calm about him that seemed surreal. Even the anger in his gaze was better than the empty shell he'd become.
She'd once seen a man jump from a bridge. He'd had that same glass-cold look just before taking the leap. She didn't know when or how, but she sensed Tearach was planning the same ending.
Her heart constricted at the thought. “Like hell you'll die,” she whispered. “You're too loved to end up like that. Whether you believe it or not, you're going to live and so is this baby."
* * * *
Sleep came surprisingly easy for Tearach. He'd heard Kathy enter the room across the hall and, for some odd reason, was glad she wasn't fooled by his actions. He hated pretending for Cairna's benefit, but it was the only option he had. The sun was almost up when, as he predicted, the Sorceress and her men came pounding on the cottage door. He quickly dressed, made his way downstairs and saw Kathy and Cairna waiting for him. The door was still closed.
"There's no sense in keeping Shayla outside. She'll open the door herself, if you don't,” he warned.
Cairna slowly opened the front door. Shayla walked in, her expression inscrutable.
"Why can't you just leave him alone?” Kathy asked.
"This matter doesn't concern you, Kathy.” Shayla turned to Tearach. “Will you come with us or do the guards have to bring you?"
Tearach shook his head. “No, I won't fight."
Shayla stood aside and Tearach walked out of the cottage ahead of her.
Cairna placed her hand upon the Sorceress’ arm, and Shayla patted it and said, “Rules have to be followed, dear. Your uncle's behavior has to be addressed. He's threatened the safety of others, shown the greatest insolence toward me and the Order. His disrespectful attitude can't be tolerated. I've had enough of his belligerence. If I let this go, worse things will happen in the future. He knows the rules as well as anyone."
Cairna nodded. “I wasn't going to ask you not to do this. I was going to ask if we can bring him home afterward."
Shayla's expression softened. “Yes, child. Once the punishment is done, it's history, if Tearach will stop fighting me at every turn."
Kathy watched Shayla leave and then gripped Cairna's shoulder. “What's happening?"
Cairna took a deep breath. He's being taken to the great clearing for punishment. When someone defies the Sorceress the way he has, the punishment is a public beating. Remember, she told you this would happen."
"Is this because I ran away? I thought Shayla said Tearach wasn't responsible for my knocking him in the head to escape."
"It isn't just that, Kathy. It's everything. Uncle Tearach has publicly defied the Sorceress and ridiculed her ideas. Then, there's the fighting and everything else he's said and done for months on end. To top it off, he left the sacred woods without permission. This was bound to happen. I just wish there was something I could have said or done to make him happier, to make him stop his misbehavior.” She hung her head and walked out the door.
Kathy followed, unable to believe such things happened. She'd just been shown a castle which boasted a modern, technologically adept people. Now, they were back in the Middle Ages again. The extremes in their society were maddening.
They walked for half an hour and came to a clearing surrounded by huge oaks. Kathy gasped at the number of people surrounding the area. Apparently, whatever Shayla was going to do was very public indeed. Kathy had no idea there were so many people living in the forest. If any of them were creatures of magic, they were in human form. All but the Goblins. They grouped together at one end of the clearing near two huge oak trees. Tearach stood between the trees, and two burly looking men tied thick ropes to his wrists. The ropes were then stretched and wrapped around the two tree trunks. His jerkin had been removed leaving him bare to the waist. She and Cairna moved closer. His expression was blank. He showed no sign of fear or anger.
A man with a leather horse whip approached Tearach from behind. Kathy's mouth went dry and she spun to face Cairna. “She's actually going to have him whipped?"
Cairna nodded. “It's our way,” she said simply. When Kathy would have moved forward to interfere, Cairna pulled her back and shook her head. “It'll only cost him more lashes."
"She can't do this. There are laws..."
"These are the laws here,” Cairna told her. “The sooner it gets started, the sooner we can take him home."
Shayla approached Tearach's stoic form. “Have you any words to say, Tearach Bruce?"
Tearach remained as silent and still as green Connemara marble. There was nothing left to say. And there were far, far worse things than a beating. Nothing she could do would hurt as much as his own wretched thoughts.
"Very well.” Shayla turned to the Whip Master. “When the sun reaches the treetops, give twenty-five lashes or until he cries out."
"He'll never cry out in pain.” Cairna looked at Kathy and lifted her head with pride. “He's still the leader of our people. He'll take all twenty-five and the Sorceress knows it. You'll see."
"Cairna how do we stop this? It's barbaric."
"We don't. Uncle Tearach wouldn't want us to."
A low murmur started through the crowd. Kathy looked around to see what might have started the commotion. “What's wrong now?"
Cairna swallowed back tears, “They're just realizing no one has ever been given more than ten lashes."
Kathy's heart fell into her stomach. Movement from behind them caused both women to turn. Lore and some other men approached. One of them, a huge, handsome young Goblin with flowing dark hair, accompanied them.
"Cairna, I've only just got back from Salisbury. I came as quickly as I could,” the Goblin said. “Tearach doesn't deserve this."
Cairna ran to him and embraced him as a lover would. “Rome, thank Herne you're here. Everything's been so crazy."
"There now, sweetheart. I'll talk to the Sorceress. Perhaps I can get her to lighten the punishment a bit. Twenty-five lashes is unheard of. The man just doesn't deserve that kind of beating."
"I've already talked to the Sorceress,” Lore spoke up. “Tearach apologized to my men while he was being led from the castle. No one wants this. If he publicly apologizes to Shayla, I'm sure the Sorceress would end this right now. She doesn't want to see him beaten any more than the rest of us. That's why she gave him an opportunity to speak."
Cairna pushed away from Rome. “Let it be. Both of you. You'll end up shaming him in front of everyone. I don't think he'll ever apologize to her, anyway."
"Isn't that better than risking his life, darling?” Rome rested his hands on Cairna's shoulders. Cairna didn't respond, except to move into his embrace again.
Kathy watched the two young Goblins. It was obvious they were in love, but no one had ever mentioned Rome's name. Perhaps Cairna had been keeping a few secrets of her own.
Kathy turned back to the clearing. The sun was just above the tree line, and the Sorceress gave an imperceptible nod. The Whip Master moved forward. The hulking giant hesitated and said something to Tearach that was too low to overhear. The whip wielder's face appeared contrite.
Kathy heard Tearach say, “It's all right, Legion. You've nothing to apologize for. It's just the way it is."
The large man shook his head, as if he was reluctant to begin, and then he rolled up his whip and walked to where he was facing Tearach's back again. He looked toward Shayla, who nodded yet again. Legion raised the whip.
Before he could strike, Shayla's voice echoed through the woods. “Stop! I was hoping for some public sign of remorse. Seeing none apparent, I won't make a martyr of a man who wishes with all his heart to accept that role.” She moved forward and beckoned the Whip Master back.
Kathy felt her own breath leave her body in relief. She heard others around her murmuring thankful prayers to different gods and goddesses.
Shayla held her hand high and spoke again, using her powers of amplification so all could hear. “Tearach Bruce, others came to me in the night and begged forgiveness on your behalf. Were you half the leader you once were, you might have realized how your friends have been affected by your behavior and the grief you've caused."
Tearach kept his gaze pointed straight ahead, but her words seeped into his mind nonetheless.
"Your family would be shamed by your actions were they alive to witness them. Your self-pity has certainly earned you the beating, which is the ancient punishment for your behavior. But I will commute your sentence for the sake of those who love and care for you. Your actions were thoughtless, and you put all the members of the Order in danger. Still, they pled for leniency on your behalf. To that end, I relent and bestow another, lesser sentence. It will, however, be a duty that is commensurate with your actions while aiding those you harmed."
