by BWWM Club
“Where are you headed?” Jeanie asked, falling into step beside Bianca as she walked into the parking lot.
“Just home. Between work and classes I am so exhausted,” she answered, stifling a yawn as if to demonstrate.
Jeanie nodded in agreement. They would graduate the same time and had been taking classes together from the beginning. “I know what you mean. It doesn’t help any that Marley isn’t sleeping at night and since my mom can only help me with her in the evenings I have no energy left.” Jeanie was raising her eighteen month old daughter alone and while it seemed hard, Bianca knew Jeanie wouldn’t change anything about her life at the moment.
“Maybe your mom will take Marley to the park one afternoon so you can squeeze in a quick nap?” Bianca wondered.
“I wish. My mom books it out the door as soon as I get back,” Jeanie said with anger.
“If you ever need an extra set of hands…” Bianca started.
Jeanie waved her off, “It’s alright I’m used to it. But I’ll keep you in mind if I need an extra babysitter.” She smiled at Bianca tiredly.
Bianca walked Jeanie to her car and told her to text when she got home. With a sigh Bianca flopped into her car. She was exhausted as well. Trying not to make more of being tired than just working too hard and night classes, Bianca drove home. Her mind wandered to Alex again. The look on his face the last time she saw him was imprinted in her mind. He was upset, possibly angry, about something. But what? Was he angry at Bianca? No, that couldn’t be right; they hadn’t even fought before he left. Bianca pulled into her garage and cut the engine. She snagged her bags from the passenger seat and walked slowly into the house. There was no rush to get home to an empty house. That never bothered her before. Before Alex. Now the house seemed so empty and the company of her cat didn’t cut it. She longed for Alex to return and hold her. She missed having conversations while they ate dinner, or snuggling while they watched a movie on her couch. After only a few weeks, Alex was a big part of her life. The thought scared her a bit, the worry, or whatever it was, etched on his face as he left made her fear for their relationship. Running a hand through her hair, Bianca slinked up the stairs to her room. She had no appetite this evening and just wanted a hot shower and a warm bed.
After her shower, Bianca dressed in one of Alex’s t-shirts that he left in her closet. She pulled the collar up to her nose and sniffed. It still smelled like his cologne and natural scent. The smell made Bianca feel safe and cozy and she climbed into bed, pulling the comforter up to her chin. As she drifted off she remembered she was supposed to take the pregnancy test tonight. That would have to wait until morning.
*****
Bianca woke up with a start, the shrill ring of her phone filling the room. Looking around she realized it was still dark. Who was calling her so late? Suddenly worried about friends and family, Bianca snatched her phone from the night stand. It was Alex.
“Alex? Are you alright?” She answered; suddenly worried he was in some sort of trouble in Chicago.
“Bianca, slow down.” Alex said in a voice full of sleep. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
Bianca relaxed back against the pillows, cradling the phone against her ear. “You scared me. It’s late,” She said.
“I know, it’s after three. I missed you and needed to hear your voice.” Alex said, something in his voice sounded defeated. Bianca suddenly worried about his health.
“You’re working too hard, Alex. Please come home. We’ll figure this business thing out together,” Bianca pleaded with him.
Alex took a moment to respond, “I can’t. I have another meeting tomorrow with a possible investor. I need this to work out. For us.” He added with a whisper.
Bianca frowned; he was working so hard because of her? Was that why he looked so angry the last time she saw him? Fearing he would resent her and their future child, Bianca questioned if she should go on with this plan. She knew Alex would be happier reenlisting in the Air Force, but he was trying to build a civilian career for her and to support the child they were trying to have. It was all too much for him and was wearing him down.
“Bianca? Are you still there?” Alex asked, pulling her from her thoughts.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I think I was dozing off,” she lied, unwilling to share her concerns at this time.
“I’ll let you get some sleep. I miss you. I’ll be home tomorrow evening.”
They said their goodbyes and Bianca hung up. One last glance at her bedside clock and she realized it was just after three a.m. Bianca was suddenly wide awake and after a half hour of tossing and turning she decided to get up and get ready for work. Friday’s were a welcome relief but starting it so early would come back to bite her around one-thirty this afternoon. Sighing, Bianca tossed the comforter back and climbed from bed. She needed a hot shower and some coffee, which would wake her right up. Stumbling sleepily into the bathroom Bianca spotted the pregnancy test she abandoned on the vanity before her shower last night. She shook her head, not wanting to deal with the disappointment of a negative test on top of the idea that Alex was working himself to death for her. Picking up the test and tossing it back into the vanity cabinet, Bianca started the shower. She stood under the hot spray for a long time, letting the water rinse away her negative thoughts. A little voice in the back of her mind told her to let Alex go, he would be happier without her and her baggage. She didn’t like that voice and wanted to smack it, but she knew it was probably right. Feeling the water begin to turn cold, Bianca switched it off and stepped out. Since she was awake so early she decided to throw on a t-shirt and sweats and slip downstairs for some coffee and a bagel.
The idea of breakfast had Bianca’s stomach in knots. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. Not wanting to kid herself into believing she was actually pregnant, Bianca chocked it up to anxiety about Alex. She forced her bagel and coffee down, ignoring the unsettling churning that her stomach was doing while she dressed for work. Fighting down nausea, she brushed her teeth. The second the toothbrush hit her tongue she gagged, barely making it to the toilet before she vomited. The second attempt left her dry heaving over the toilet for fifteen minutes. Something was definitely off. Glancing at the clock Bianca noticed she still had an hour before she had to go into work. The pregnancy test popped into her mind again. She should just do it and get it over with. At least then she would know if she had a virus and couldn’t go to work. The reasoning made sense, especially since she didn’t want to expose all of her students to a stomach bug.
Finally managing to get her teeth brushed, Bianca yanked open the vanity cabinet and retrieved the wayward pregnancy test. She looked at it with trepidation, as if it would jump up and bite her on the face. With a sigh of resignation, Bianca tore it open and retrieved the stick. The directions were pretty straight forward; two lines for pregnant, one for not pregnant. Positioning herself over the toilet, Bianca took the test, capped it and placed it on the counter. Now came the waiting. Three minutes would let her know if she was going to be a mother. Bianca set a timer on her phone and finished getting ready for work, resisting the urge to peak in the bathroom at the test. Her timer went off and she jumped, her nerves were shot this morning. Bianca walked back into the bathroom slowly, afraid she wouldn’t like what she saw. Squeezing her eyes shut, she retrieved the test from the counter and forced her eyes to open. She gasped. There were two lines. Bianca was pregnant.
*****
Alex ran a hand over his face, the slight stubble on his cheeks rasping against his rough palm. He was nervous. Alex didn’t get nervous often but his whole future was riding on this meeting and he didn’t want to fuck it up.
“Mr. Johansen,” the petite blonde receptionist came through the double glass doors in front of where Alex waited in the waiting room and looked at him expectantly.
“Yes?” Alex answered, standing.
“Mr. Abramson will see you now,” she replied curtly, turning on her heel and heading back towards the doors at a fast
clip.
Alex hurried after her, not sure why she was in such a hurry. Maybe it was almost her lunch break. He followed the woman down a long corridor, past several offices and into another set of double doors at the end of the hall. Inside of the room was a large conference table around which sat three men, one of them Mr. Albert Abramson. The other two men weren’t familiar to Alex. They were possibly fellow investors but Alex wouldn’t know unless he actually grew a pair and walked into the damn room. Alex met Albert Abramson through a fellow Air Force pilot. He was the uncle of one of his captains to be specific. His captain referred him to Mr. Abramson when Alex approached him about going into business with him. Albert Abramson was the CEO of a successful real estate developing company. He also was a shareholder in several large businesses, businesses he helped get off of the ground. Alex hoped his business would be another one of those companies.
“Alex,” Mr. Abramson stood, extending his hand, “I’ve heard so much about you from Jimmy.”
Alex nodded and shook Mr. Abramson’s hand firmly. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Abramson,” he said, moving to the opposite side of the table from where the men sat and took a chair across from them.
“Please, call me Albert. Mr. Abramson is my father,” he said with a chuckle. The other two men rattled off a few fake chortles.
“So what is it you wanted to see me about, young man?” Albert asked, his business side taking over.
Alex took a deep breath and then pitched his company. He showed printouts of his assets as well as his business model. He felt like he was on Shark Tank and was sweating profusely under his suit jacket by the time he was finished. He stopped talking and looked around the room. The men’s faces were serious but they didn’t answer yet.
Finally after several moments, which felt like hours, Albert spoke, “Alex, your proposal was great but there’s one last thing I’d like to clarify before making a decision.”
Alex leaned forward, waiting for Albert’s answer.
“How many others do you have on board to assist you with growing the security company?” Albert asked, steepling his hands in front of his face.
Alex shook his head and said, “None, sir. It’s just me right now.”
Albert’s facial expression changed. “I hate to say this, son, but I’m not sure I can give you the money you need based on an idea. I like your business model but if you don’t have the man power to back it up, how will the company get off the ground?”
Alex frowned, bouncing his leg with anxiety, “I have several calls into some military buddies to see if they would be willing to sign on with me. I plan on searching the private sector for employees after I’ve exhausted my military connections. If you could just give me a chance…”
“I don’t take chances with my money,” Albert cut in. “Unless I know for sure the company will be a success. Like I said, I believe you’re on to something but I just can’t see myself being involved at this time. I’m sorry, Alex.”
Alex sigh, said his goodbyes and shook hands. As he was exiting the building he became despondent. What was he going to do now? What would he tell Bianca when he returned home? He couldn’t go back there a failure. Bianca deserved better than that. Later that afternoon, Alex checked out of the hotel to head home. On the plane he drew up a better business plan and devised ways to recruit employees. He would not fail, Bianca and possibly his child, were counting on him and he wouldn’t let them down.
*****
The day dragged on as Bianca chased children and read stories. She couldn’t wait for Alex to get back from Chicago so she could tell him the news. Every time she thought about it she felt giddy and couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. By the time three o’clock rolled around Bianca could barely contain herself. She packed her work bag and practically ran to the car, happy that she didn’t have her college class that night. All the way home she hoped for a call from Alex, whose flight was supposed to be in around four. As she changed into yoga pants and a t-shirt she kept her phone close but Alex didn’t call. Frowning, Bianca checked the time on her phone. It was after four-thirty. Pacing the kitchen and trying to keep her nerves down, Bianca sipped from her coffee cup. The caffeine was doing nothing to rest her jangled nerves. Bianca’s stomach growled and she was simultaneously nauseous and hungry. Dumping the now un-appetizing coffee in the sink, she went to search the fridge for something to eat. Just as she opened it for the third time in an attempt to find something that did not make her stomach turn, her phone rang shrilly.
Bianca dashed across the kitchen and answered the phone, “Hello?” She said breathlessly.
“Bianca, I just landed. My flight was delayed a bit from the wind.” Alex said. His voice was the best sound she heard all day.
Releasing a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, Bianca smiled. “I’ve been waiting for you to call. Can you come right here or do you need to go home first?”
Alex sighed heavily on the other end. Bianca’s nerves spiked and the uncertainty she felt earlier began to resurface. Finally he spoke, “I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”
“Ok, I’ll see you soon.” Bianca replied and they said goodbye.
The following twenty minutes were the longest of her life. Finally she saw headlights in the driveway and rushed to the door. Her mind was racing. Should she tell him right away? Should she wait until he gives her the news about his meeting? How should she do it? An idea sprang into her head and Bianca raced upstairs to grab the pregnancy test she left on the sink. Rummaging around in the closet she found a tiny gift bag and she dropped it inside. She’d pretend it was a gift and see his reaction. Bianca hurried back down the stairs and placed the bag on the kitchen counter before moving to the door. Her hand was on the knob just as Alex knocked. She threw the door open and ran into his arms. Alex embraced her tightly, pulling back a bit to lean down and kiss her. Expecting a passionate and deep kiss, Bianca held on, but Alex just pressed a short kiss to her lips and pulled away.
Confusion lined Bianca’s face. Upon closer inspection she realized Alex didn’t look like his usual happy and passionate self. What happened in Chicago?
“Are you okay, babe?” Bianca asked, walking up behind Alex and slipping her arms around his waist.
Alex stiffened and Bianca released him. What was happening?
“I didn’t get the investor, Bianca,” Alex snapped angrily.
Bianca backed up further, moving toward where she put the gift bag on the counter. She wanted to use the opportunity of Alex having his back to her to hide the bag. Now was clearly not the time. Before she could grab the bag Alex turned, his face a mask of rage. Bianca had never seen him so angry and wondered if giving him some space was the best option. She moved to the left trying to block his view of the bag, although she doubted he would notice it in the state he was in. Of course Bianca wasn’t so lucky.
“What’s that?” Alex asked, the anger suddenly replaced with indifference. He was running so hot and cold.
“Uh, what?” Bianca asked, stalling.
“The bag, Bianca. What’s in the bag behind you?” A glint of irritation flashed across his face before it was once again replaced with indifference.
“It’s nothing. Just a gift for a friend at work. I didn’t want to forget it so I put it by the door.” Bianca hoped he would buy it.
“It’s Friday, Bianca.” Shit. He was right.
“Oh, I know but you know how forgetful I can be,” she forced a small laugh and waved a dismissive hand in the air.
Alex looked at her strangely. Bianca was not a good liar and she could tell he knew she was making it up. He couldn’t find out about the pregnancy now. Not when he was so disappointed about his investment falling through. He would resent Bianca for saddling him with a baby before his ducks were in a row.
“Bianca, what’s in the bag?” Alex asked moving toward her to grab for the bag.
“It’s nothing really. Let’s forget about it. I want to hear about Chicago,” Bianc
a placed a hand on his arm and tried to steer him toward the living room.
Alex scowled at her and moved out of her grasp. Before she could protest again he was holding the bag.
“Alex, please. Now is not the time.” Bianca pleaded, reaching for the bag.
By the time Bianca lunged forward to grab the bag, Alex had already reached inside and pulled the pregnancy test out.
“What’s this?” Alex asked with confusion.
“Alex, I’m sorry…”
Alex cut her off before she could finish her thought. “Bianca, are you pregnant?”
Chapter 7
Bianca looked down at her hands, delaying her answer.
“Bianca?” Alex asked more urgently.
She gave a small nod unsure of what to say to him. The tone of his voice made her feel uncertainty about his mood. Not wanting to look up and see the disappointment on his face, Bianca continued to stare at her hands. They both knew a positive test was a possibility after they agreed to try for a baby. But Bianca could sense that Alex wasn’t ready. Especially since his business deal fell through. Tears burned the backs of her eye lids and Bianca blinked them back. She felt stupid for getting so emotional. Wasn’t it just a month ago that she was planning on going to a sperm bank? This was different though. She was in love with Alex. The thought caught her by surprise and her head snapped up. Bianca looked deep into Alex’s eyes trying to read his mood. That was the first time she had allowed herself to even think about loving him. What she found when she looked into the depths of Alex’s stormy blue eyes wasn’t anger or even disappointment but lust and passion. Bianca looked at him with confusion. His voice told her he was nervous but his eyes told her something else. Was he happy about her revelation?
