Tania laughs again. “Oh Abby, you crack me up a lot. That is all so funny, but let’s roll back a little bit to the thing that sent you to Mac in the first place.”
I breathe out a heavy sigh. “Wade…”
Now she looks more serious and shakes her head. “No, that wasn’t what sent you to Mac. It’s the other guy. It was…Jack.”
I stare at her for a few seconds then look away. I glance down, embarrassed because she’s figured me out.
“I know I’m supposed to get over it. I’m trying.”
“I know. Everyone can see that. But what concerns me is the way that you’re trying. You didn’t say yes to the trip with Wade did you?” she asks, and I shake my head. “You’re gonna break up with him?”
I draw in a steady breath. I wish I could say no because the guy hasn’t done anything for me to want to break up, and I’m being stupid. I know when I’m being stupid and now is one of those times.
“Yes,” I hear myself say. I hold her gaze to get her honest opinion. Wishing she’ll tell me something to help me fix my state of woe.
“Good,” she replies.
“Good?”
“Yes, good.”
I sigh with relief as I feel the understanding I needed from her.
“I don’t feel that spark I had with Jack, Tania. It was so easy with him. I knew he loved me.”
“We all knew he loved you. It was beautiful and he was a beautiful guy who was the dream. You’re lucky Abby. Think of it like that. Lucky to have had someone in your life like that. Most people never find that person. It took time to get back out there.“
“It did, I just felt like I couldn’t do it,” I admit. I still feel like I can’t.
“You can. Jack would want you to. I knew him for five years and I know he wouldn’t want you pining away like this, and definitely not today.”
I nod. “Yeah, you’re right.”
I still feel like shit but she’s made me feel better about Wade.
The anniversary of Jack’s death is in four months. My birthday is the week before. Because Jack died a week after my birthday, every year since his death has been more focused on that.
Tania reaches across the table and takes my hand. “You are gonna be okay. What you need to do is date.”
I smirk. “More dating?”
“Yes, of course, more dating. Actual dating. Not soul mate selection. You date and get to know people. When you click then you take that leap to do something about it, but you don’t call it serious until you’re sure.”
“So…looks like I’ll be dating again soon then.” I try to brighten up.
She nods vigorously. “That’s the spirit.”
I laugh. I actually feel a tad better. I’m grateful for the little time we’ve had to talk.
The unit is normally busy and, with the extension, even busier because of the workmen. We’ll see the progress today. They did a lot over the weekend. Tania and I are going to be based in the new unit and we’ll have our own offices. I’m excited for that.
Celine comes in and smiles brightly. She has her dark brown hair up in her usual ponytail.
“Morning third-year residents,” she says.
She has the kind of personality that will cheer you right up and I find myself smiling as I look at her.
“Good morning first-year fellow,” I say back, and they both laugh.
“I seriously can’t believe I’m at this point. Tell me you guys don’t feel the same.” Celine smiles even wider.
Tania and I both nod.
“The years have flown by,” Tania says, running her perfectly manicured finger over her overcoat.
“I know.”
Celine is doing exactly what we want to do. Tania and I want to continue here in the fellowship program that will get us deeper into our career. She wants to have a side specialty in pediatrics and I want to go into rare diseases. We’ll still be working together but it’ll be a little different.
“I remember you guys being interns. It’s so crazy. Look at us now. Anywho, what were y’all talking about?”
“Did you ever think Abby was sleeping with Mac?” Tania blurts out, and it’s just my luck that Mac chooses that moment to walk in.
Great…
Just great. While they giggle I die of embarrassment because although he has a straight face, I know he heard.
Dylan
“Something feels off about the place,” Officer Tanner says.
I nod, agreeing, and look over to Captain Marsh.
We drove through the back passage and came up the best way we could to avoid trouble, and now we’re here at the site we’re supposed to go into, and something feels off indeed.
We’re hidden in the cavity of the rocks on the mountainous range of Naw Shakh.
Dressed in complete camouflage we blend in effortlessly. But…I feel like the militants know we’re here.
I just have a feeling. A bad one.
What looks off is the fact that the place looks deserted and there were guards stationed at the mouth of the cave yesterday.
I checked, so I know.
I tap Captain Marsh’s shoulder. He’s the closest to me and I’m his second-in-command on this mission.
“Captain, I think we should split off and check things out, then launch. It’s too quiet down there.”
Those sneaky bastards. I wouldn’t put it past them to be watching us.
The same way we located them, I’m sure there’s spies in the background somewhere, reporting.
He looks to me and frowns. “No, you know we have one shot at this. It’s been long enough already. Far too long. We need to stick to the plan.”
Just once I wish this guy would listen to me, but it’s cool. I knew what I signed up for when I joined this unit. Ride or die. No matter what.
Even if the part about dying may be tonight.
“Let’s go boys,” Captain Marsh says, and we move.
It takes us ten minutes to get down to the base where the hostages are being kept, and it feels like the longest ten minutes of my life.
What’s worse is the anxious feeling isn’t leaving me.
A tap on my shoulder makes me turn.
It’s Tanner. He’s been my friend since day one of joining the Marines. It was him, me, and Paul. Paul left two years ago after he did his time. Ten years of service and he wanted to do something new. I understood it, but we were the guys who stayed behind for the adventure.
Tanner comes close to me as we move as one with the others.
“Redhawk,” he whispers.
That’s what I hear and I can’t believe it. We all use code in one way or another. This guy has always had my back the same way I’ve had his. Right from our rookie year when I saved him from being shot. That bullet would have taken his head off.
The man has been grateful to me ever since.
Redhawk means to retreat if in danger.
There’s no way we would go against Captain’s orders, but he must feel that shitty anxiety too that eats away at my insides.
I simply nod and motion my finger that I mean for him to get out too.
Because this feels like a trap.
There’s still no sign of anybody. Nothing at all.
Just silence.
Then I hear it.
It’s a whizzing sound. Its far away, then near. Then there’s more noises. We run around the corner because the sound can’t mean anything good.
I’m the first to break through on the clearing and I stop short when I see the trap.
Before us is a large oak tree, and the reporter and her team are tied together at the base.
All are dead.
I was right.
“Retreat!” I call out, and in that second I look to Tanner and something silver pierces through his neck .
I’m sure it was silver. Then I see red against the moonlight as blood sprays from his neck and he screams now to me, “Redhawk Dylan…” He drops to the ground and I take cover as the bullets start
to fly, panic and grief filling me.
I hide behind a rusty truck, call for backup, and reach for my guns as the bullets keep coming. I shoot back at…who?
I can’t see anybody. Wherever they are, they’re hidden well. Really well.
Bullets get my men as they try to defend themselves. I see Captain Marsh just as he gets hit. I was trying to cover him while he moved. He gets a bullet to his chest and Collins goes to him and they both blow up. Explode into fire and ember like they were never there.
More explosions go off and then I hear more men.
Backup should be on the way but I don’t know where they are. I don’t know if it’s them I hear. There’s too much going on around me and all my friends are dead.
I make a run for it, hearing Tanner’s words.
Redhawk.
I run faster and something sharp pierces into my body. I’ve been shot before so I know that’s what’s happened to me, but the pain still hurts like a bitch.
I still run, trying to keep myself going, then two more bullets pierce through me.
Something falls in front of me and there’s a ticking noise.
It’s a bomb.
My body is failing, but I won’t die here. I won’t die here. I can’t today.
One last push makes me move and I run just as the blast takes me.
The blast hits me hard and then I hear ringing…
* * *
My eyes snap open as the ringing of my phone gets louder, snapping me out of the dream.
Dream…
Nightmare.
The reoccurring nightmare that actually happened.
Memory.
I ease myself up in my bed and look to my phone that’s ringing and buzzing on the night stand.
Shit. I hope it’s not family. I really hope it’s not family.
I pick up the phone and sigh with relief when I see it’s Paul.
I answer the phone.
“Dude, you know how long I’ve been calling you and ringing the bell?” he fumes.
I must have been more tired than I realized. “You’re outside?”
“Yes.”
“I’m on my way down,” I tell him, and he hangs up.
I get dressed quickly and rush downstairs to let him in. It was him I was talking to the other day when I first met Abby. In fact, I didn’t finish talking to him before she hit me.
I open the door and there he is. He’s wearing a suit so he’s probably visiting on a break from his cop duties.
“Hey Dylan.” He smiles at me even though seconds ago on the phone he sounded like he was going to chew me out.
He also hugs me, and I hug him back. It’s not our usual greeting but this is the first time we’ve seen each other while I am awake.
I was told he flew over to Afghanistan to see me while I was in my comatose slumber.
“Kid, you gave everybody a scare.” He shakes his head at me.
I chuckle. He’s barely two years older than me and thinks it’s still necessary to call me kid.
“I made it though.”
He raises his fist to bump it with mine. “Redhawk.”
“Yes.” I nod with sadness.
“Come on, I’ll grab you a beer,” I say.
I get the beer and we go out to the back garden.
We’ve spoken on the phone but it’s not the same as talking in person, so we spend the next few minutes hashing everything out.
Paul rests back in the chair with a heavy sigh.
“I’m really sorry man. It always felt like of our little trio you were the one who’d stay forever if you could,” Paul notes.
I give him a small smile and look out to the lake. “I would have. I want to. That’s the plan. I honestly want that so I’m gonna try.”
“Dylan, an injury like that can take time, and I know you can’t overdo it. If you do you’ll just make it worse on yourself,” he cautions.
“I know. You know me though, always and ever the guy who’s over the fucking top. I have to try.”
The breeze lifts his blond hair and he nods with agreement.
“Take your time and see how you do. But guess what?”
“What? Please don’t tell me some shit like it’s not the end of the world if I don’t get to go back to the Marines.” That’s the last thing I want to hear.
“People been telling you that?”
“More or less.”
My parents told me something along those lines when I filled them in on the full context of what would happen in six months if my leg wasn’t better.
I’m like a cow being put out to pasture when you can no longer make use out of it.
“I’m not gonna say that. What I will say is that there’s more than one thing you can do with your life. I’m a cop and I love it.”
“So you keep telling me.”
“Because it’s true. I served as a marine for ten years and then I wanted to do something else. Intelligence was it for me. Two years into it and I’m loving it. Think you would too.”
I bring my hand to my head and shake it. “Paul don’t get me started. You just want me to come work with you so we can get up to the wild shit we used to do as marines, but in Chicago.”
“Yeah, maybe I kind of do.” He laughs. “Maybe I just want to watch your back, or maybe it’s just that I don’t want to lose another friend.”
The smile recedes from my face when I see the seriousness in his expression.
We haven’t really talked about Tanner yet. Not properly.
“When it happened…when Tanner died, you said you were there. Did he go quickly?” he asked.
I could lie to him but he’d know I was lying out of my ass so I shake my head.
“I don’t think we should talk about it Paul. It’s not that I don’t want to. I do. I’m just glad you weren’t there. He tried to save me. Redhawk.”
He nods understanding. “I hear you. Well I guess I’ll stand by what I said then. Maybe I don’t want to lose another friend. It’d be great to have you around, but I get it. Being a marine is your passion. You were the only guy to make it. I take that as something.”
“Yeah. It was. It is. Not something I’m happy about though. I keep thinking about what I could have done differently. I said to Captain…I told him that something felt off. Tanner knew it too. He felt it and none of us could do a damn thing about it.”
“You can’t blame yourself Dylan. It’s natural to but there wasn’t anything you could have done. A trap is a trap. Having been in many, I know the only thing you can do when you fall into one is try to get yourself out. That’s what you did.”
“Yeah and now there’s this injury I have to deal with. Paul, what the hell am I really gonna do? I hate being back here. It just feels like crap. I was thinking of moving.”
He raises his brows. “Really?”
“Yeah. Maybe to LA or…somewhere. If worse comes to worse.” That’s as far as I thought ahead with regards to alternatives.
I have money, the serious kind, because I’ve had it all stored up waiting for me to use in one way or another. I put off buying a house because I was never around long enough to need a house, but I want one. Maybe now’s the time to venture out there and look. Stop being G.I. Joe and be Dylan Taylor.
A regular civilian who has a thing for motorcycles.
“What’s wrong with Chicago?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Everything I held of importance to me isn’t here anymore.”
He knows about Allison. He met her on several occasions. We went to his wedding.
“That’s not true. We aren’t gonna go down that road of ex’s today. It’s history. Please don’t tell me you’re still hung up on her?”
I shake my head. It may sound like that but I’m not. I’m just pissed at the world for everything.
“I’m not. The whole thing with her, I just didn’t need. Better if she hadn’t gotten involved with me because I was always straight up about what I wanted to do with my life. It would have
saved a lot of heartbreak and unnecessary feelings I didn’t need. She knew she didn’t want to be with a guy who was always gonna be away and always in danger. I would have respected her heaps more if she’d been real with me and told me how she felt sooner rather than later.” That’s probably the most precise I’ve been in explaining myself. “Because she didn’t it made me believe I’d accomplished that part of my life. I’d found the girl and we’d make it work.”
“I get it. I do. I see it from her side too because she tried. I just don’t want you hung up on her because you really don’t need that. Not when there’s plenty of women out there.”
No more women…but I couldn’t control the image of Miss Thing floating into my mind as he said it no more than I could control her slapping me last night.
I wonder what else she’ll do if she comes back. She probably won’t with me around. She’ll probably stay away until the coast is clear.
Her behaviors do make me wonder what her story is. Seems a little erratic for a doctor.
“Yeah, plenty of women out there and willing to please a wounded soldier.”
He laughs. “Yes. Go with that bro and get your ass in gear. While you’re at it you may want to stop sleeping past midday,” he added. “It’s not a good look for you. It’s very hoboish.”
I burst out laughing and agree. “I need to do something with myself.”
“It’s two o’clock, you can’t be asleep at this time of day. The world’s moving while you’re asleep.”
“I’ll think of something.”
“I’m sure you will.”
I just don’t know what it will be. Whatever it is needs to distract the hell out of me.
Six months is a long time.
Seems like I have a long journey ahead of me, and I hate feeling anxious.
That and fear are the two emotions I hate the most.
Abby
“The patient’s name is Lizzie Brown. She is a twenty-five-year-old Caucasian female who has been known to us,” Mac starts. I always take notes. Always.
We can access patient files at any time but I always carry my little notebook in my overcoat and jot down the main points. You never know when you may need to access something. It could be anything, big or small.
Dylan Page 4
