by Alta Hensley
Ruby shook her head eagerly. “No, not at all. I love hearing about your past.”
Evan took a deep breath before continuing on. “Anyway, this couple next door was everything my parents weren't. It was nice to see… love. Well, one night I could see the neighbors in the kitchen fighting. I mean really fighting. My heart sank, because this perfect couple I loved spying on was just like everyone else. Just like my screwed up parents. I was pissed. But then something happened. I watched the man grab his wife by the hand and lead her over to the kitchen chair, pull her over his knee, and spank her. He pulled down her pants and started to spank her bare behind. Over and over his hand made contact with her ass, and she allowed it. This wasn't something new to them. It appeared as if they had been doing this for ages. I sat watching in awe. I was shocked, confused, and really turned on. It was a sight that burned into my memories. Something you can never forget.”
“So, you realized you were into spanking then?” Ruby asked gently.
“I guess so. But it wasn't really the spanking that was the best part for me. It was what happened afterwards. He stood her up and kissed her. She kissed him back. They weren't fighting anymore. The ugly fight they were having only a few minutes earlier had disappeared. They were caressing and loving each other again. I saw a connection between them. They were that perfect couple I spied on once again.”
“You saw how DD fixes things firsthand,” Ruby added.
“Well, at the time I didn't know what Domestic Discipline was. I didn't know what the neighbors were doing, and if they even classified it as that. But from that moment on, I knew I wanted that for myself. I didn't want what my parents had, and I didn't want to be the man my father was. It wasn't until several years later that I found out about DD. I finally found a name to describe what I had been craving since the night I watched the neighbor spank his wife.”
“Have you always been in DD relationships?”
Evan chuckled. “God, no. Just going up to a woman and spanking her isn't exactly easy. It took a long time to come to terms with my feelings and my wants. I had to become a man before I could require the respect. An immature boy has no business expecting a woman to let him lead. I had to become the same strong man my neighbor was.”
Ruby smiled. “So what you're saying, Evan Steel, is you started DD all because you were a Peeping Tom,” she teased as she started to giggle.
Evan started to laugh. “I guess you could say that.”
They both laughed, enjoying this evening that belonged only to them. Nothing else seemed to matter at that point, and they were oblivious to all that surrounded them. Kissing, loving, growing together as a couple. This date captured Ruby's heart.
“Do you want to know how many women I’ve woken up to the next morning, Ruby? How many women I’ve taken to my own special places? How many women I have obsessed about, how many I find myself thinking of nothing else but them? How many women I’ve trusted my heart with without planning to? One. The answer is only one.”
“Sometimes I feel like I need to wake from this amazing dream that I’m having. You're everything I ever wanted in a man, and why you've chosen me is confusing.” Ruby paused, searching for the right words. “You could have any woman you want. Someone who truly understands you and your beliefs.”
“You are the woman I want.”
“Why?” Ruby asked quickly.
“Why, what?”
“Why me? Of all the women you could have, out of all the women who want you, why me?”
Taking a deep breath, he pulled her deeper into his arms. “Because you're the only woman who genuinely is interested in me. You seem to care about the man inside, and not just the exterior. I know it sounds ridiculous when I tell you how alone I've been, since I'm never physically alone, but lately I've been in a dark place. I have this vision of a traditional love. I want a connection and a bond with someone that can never be broken. I want to be able to look into my lover's eyes and no longer feel the shadows seeping in.” Evan turned Ruby so he stared directly into her eyes. “For the first time in my life, Ruby, I feel normal. I feel a new reason to get up in the morning. It is you. You.”
Chapter 10
Ruby supported the phone between her shoulder and ear as she made some breakfast. She couldn’t help but wake Harold up early to tell him all that had happened. After coming home last night, she’d hardly slept. So many things overran her mind, leaving her lost in a fog. She had to talk to someone about it.
Evan had wanted Ruby to stay the night, but she decided it was best to come home and wrap her head around everything that happened. They had not only had sex, but both had admitted to falling in love. Evan still wanted to see her today, so he was picking her up in an hour. Being apart for long seemed almost impossible for them both.
She’d been on the phone with Harold for a while now. He seemed to think her growing relationship with Evan was meant to be. Harold was happy for her and happy that Evan had her in such high spirits. From everything she’d told Harold so far about Evan, Harold knew they were in love. Harold even jokingly started referring to Evan as Ruby's Dom or Master. Then, unexpectedly, Harold asked. “What does Evan think about the article you're working on?”
Ruby stopped and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to lie, but she didn't want to confess her failure to reveal that secret.
“Well…” She paused to figure out how to make it less of a lie. “Evan and I haven't really talked about it too much.” That much was true.
“Hmm,” Harold said. “Maybe it’s better that way. He might be hesitant to fully open up to you. Reporters make people nervous.”
Ruby sighed with relief. As usual, she and Harold saw things the same way. Her reasoning on not clarifying things about her true profession to Evan held a little more rationale now. Although the feeling didn't last long as Harold continued on.
“Be honest, of course. You don’t want to start things off by keeping things from him. But you don't need to talk about it all the time. Last thing you want is for him to think you’re using him.”
Ruby hated the feeling of being deceitful. This shouldn’t be so complicated. But if she was honest with herself, she knew keeping this secret for so long would upset Evan. Things were so good, she just didn't want to rock the boat.
Just as she finished cooking breakfast, Melanie walked into the kitchen. She had a big smile on her face. “Is that Evan?” she mouthed.
Ruby shook her head and mouthed back, “Harold.”
Melanie frowned, and walked over to dish herself some eggs and bacon. She sat down facing Ruby.
Ruby cut her conversation with Harold short, telling him she needed to finish eating breakfast and getting ready. She’d finished getting ready for a while now, but she could tell Melanie wanted to talk. She watched Melanie shake her head disapprovingly as she hung up.
“You’re going to lose Evan because of this stupid article of yours,” she said. “Something tells me Evan doesn’t know everything about what you're doing in Seattle.”
The lump that had formed in Ruby’s throat during her conversation with Harold seemed to grow even bigger. “I know. I'm just not sure how to get out of this hole I sort of dug for myself.”
“Listen, I understand you aren't intending to bad-mouth or disparage the lifestyle, but I don't think Evan will be so understanding. He's going to feel like you're using him and faking your desire to embrace DD.”
Ruby grimaced. “I'm not. And besides, Evan knows I'm new to all of this. I'm not trying to be someone I'm not.”
Melanie shook her head as she took a large bite of eggs. “You might know that, but Evan's going to see this article as a threat. How much does Evan know about your career, anyway?”
Ruby winced and looked down at her untouched breakfast. “He doesn't know I write at all.”
Melanie’s eyes popped wide open as she almost choked on her food.
“Please tell me you're joking.” Ruby shook her head. “You're going to screw up a good thi
ng. I hope this lie is worth it.”
“I’m going to fix it.” Ruby nibbled on her fingernail. “I'm just not sure how or when.”
“The longer you wait, the worse this mess will be. You need to tell Evan.” Melanie stopped and seemed to ponder what she had just said. “Unless I'm reading too much into you and Evan? You like him, right?”
Ruby blushed. “I do. I'm falling in love.”
Melanie raised an eyebrow. “Love? Does Evan feel the same?”
“He says he does. Last night we… well we…”
“You guys had sex!” Melanie almost screamed. “Oh my god!”
Ruby blushed even more and tried not to giggle. “Yes, and it was amazing.”
Melanie squealed in delight after Ruby told her the details of being sexual with Evan. She clapped her hands together, smiling in delight. “I knew you would end up over his knee!”
“Not yet. The whole idea really confuses me. I'm not sure I could truly submit to discipline when I do something wrong.”
“It's not easy.”
“Have you ever?” Ruby asked.
Melanie shook her head. “Not like that. Everything I've done has been for play. I've never been with anyone who believed in DD.”
“Do you believe in it?”
Melanie shrugged. “I'm not sure. It makes sense to me, and I like hearing about it and reading about it. But making it a reality would be pretty tough. I guess it would depend on the guy. It would take a really strong man.”
“Evan's strong. No doubt about that. I'm just not sure if I can actually commit to all this. I can commit to Evan, but I'm not sure about DD.”
Melanie grabbed the dishes and started to clean up. “Well, whatever you decide, I just want you to be happy. Be honest with yourself and follow your heart. Don't let other voices and opinions get in the way of what you decide.”
Chapter 11
Ruby and Evan headed to a new restaurant opening near downtown. Ruby had started to accompany Evan on more and more paid appearances. The attention made her a little uncomfortable, but it was worth it if she could spend more time with Evan. Plus, being with Evan gave her a self-confidence she never had before. Her introverted ways seemed to vanish when she was on Evan's arm.
The place was crowded, and the media swarmed everywhere. Evan held her tight while posing for pictures before he grabbed Ruby by the hand, leading her past the people and into the restaurant.
“You don’t need to walk the red carpet? Do any more interviews?” Ruby asked, completely surprised. She had started getting used to standing to the side while Evan played the part of a famous person.
“I’m doing my part,” he said. “I’m here and I’ve been photographed. I’m not really in the mood to do interviews.” He leaned in to place a soft kiss against Ruby’s lips. “I just want to have a good meal with the most stunning woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Nothing's more important than you.”
Ruby couldn’t help blushing. Evan always made her heart skip a beat. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble for not doing your job. I don’t want to get in the way.”
Evan pulled out a chair for her after the hostess led them to their table. “You are never in the way. Never.”
“I can’t remember ever having someone make me feel so special before. I love how well you treat me.”
Evan smiled at her softly. “Good, because that is what is important to me. I love you, Ruby. There’s no question about that.”
Ruby’s heart pounded against her chest and her breath caught. She could barely whisper, “I love you, too.”
Evan reached across the table and took hold of her hand. “Those are powerful words.”
“Yes, they are.”
Evan squeezed Ruby’s hand. “I promise I’ll do everything to make you actually feel those words every day.”
Ruby nodded and looked down at her hands. She took a deep breath. “Can I ask you something?”
Evan continued to hold her hand, softly caressing it with his thumb. “Of course.”
“Why is Maxine always around you? Why is she always in the pictures with you?”
Evan exhaled, glancing away and then back at her. “I don’t know, Ruby,” he said. “I’ve hung out with her in the past, but she’s always made more out of it then it really was. She’s just part of the circle of friends.”
Ruby felt something inside her ignite. “Was she your girlfriend?” She tried so hard not to sound jealous. But she was. Even though she asked the question, she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know the answer.
“No,” he answered softly. “She was never my girlfriend. I never saw her that way.”
“Did you ever sleep with her?” The minute the words left her mouth, she regretted them. She hadn’t intended to take the conversation this far, but the questions just kept coming.
She saw Evan’s eyes widen for a second then go back to normal. He pulled Ruby’s hand closer to him, gently. “Does it really matter, Ruby?”
Ruby’s stomach leaped to her throat. Her head spiraled. What had she expected? Why had she let herself fall for Evan in the first place? Maxine was just one woman. How many other women would she have to deal with from the past and the future?
“So, she was never your girlfriend, you just slept with her? Is that what you’re planning on doing with me?”
Evan’s eyes narrowed and his expression hardened. “Ruby, I just got done telling you I love you. Would I say those words if I was planning on just sleeping with you like some groupie?”
Ruby wouldn't listen. All she could think of was the fact that Evan had slept with Maxine, and it made her ill. “Did you spank her?” Her voice dripped with contempt.
“Ruby, you need to stop.”
The lump in her throat had begun to suffocate her. Ruby did everything she could not to cry. She tried pulling her hand away, but Evan tightened his grip.
“So, are you still sleeping with her?” She swallowed hard. “Is it just part of your circle? No big deal?”
“Ruby.” Evan’s voice was calm. “There is nothing going on with Maxine. There is nothing going on with anyone. You are the only one I’m with and the only one I want to be with.”
Evan moved his chair so he sat next to Ruby. He wrapped his arm around Ruby’s shoulder and tried giving her a kiss, but Ruby turned her head away abruptly. “What do you want me to say, Ruby?”
That made the fire inside her blaze even brighter. Ruby knew she acted ridiculously. Jealousy made a fool of her. But for some reason, she couldn’t fight back the emotion. She squirmed, trying to get away from Evan’s embrace, but her struggle was futile. She was no match for Evan’s strength and conviction.
Ruby stopped and looked him in square in the eye.
“I want the truth about you and Maxine.”
“There was nothing between us,” he insisted. “Even if there had been something, why would I lie?”
“Because maybe you still have feelings for her? Maybe deep down, you want an actual submissive who knows what the hell she’s doing.”
“What?” Evan’s laughter irritated her. “No, sweetheart, the only feelings I have are for you. Only you. She’s got absolutely nothing on you, submissive or not.”
Ruby stared at him, desperately wanting to believe the words spoken. But if she hurt this much now only a few weeks into this relationship, how would she deal with anything worse? Being around Evan did something to her senses, her emotions, and to her heart. It scared her.
Ruby shook her head, blinking back the tears. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me, Evan.” She took a deep breath. “But this is too much for me to take.”
Evan glared at her. “What the hell does that mean?”
“I mean this is who you are. This is what your world has always been like. Who am I to think I can fit in to your life… your lifestyle? Things like this are going to keep happening and I don’t think I can handle it. You’re famous and could have any woman you want. Women are begging to have even o
ne night with you. I should’ve never agreed to—”
“Don’t even say it.” He took Ruby’s hand and put it to his chest. Ruby could feel Evan’s heart beat against her palm. “You’re scaring me. This sounds like you’re about to end things between us. I can’t believe you don’t see how much I’ve fallen in love with you.”
She shook her head. “It’s too difficult, Evan. I thought I could do this… I wanted to do this, but I can’t. Try to put yourself in my place. Would you be able to deal with other men constantly on me? I’m so confused. I don’t know what I was thinking coming into this. I let myself get caught up in all the infatuation and excitement.”
Evan’s grip tightened on her shoulder as he pulled Ruby to face him. Evan stared at her hard, glaring as he spoke through his teeth, “What exactly are you saying?”
Ruby looked down at her hands for a long moment, then finally looked back into Evan’s stare. Her eyes glistened, but she didn’t cry.
“My feelings for you are what have me so terrified,” she said. “If I didn’t love you so much I wouldn’t be backing out now before it’s too late.”
Evan stared at her in disbelief. “Backing out?”
“I’m sorry,” Ruby whispered, casting her eyes back down to the ground.
