by Milinda Jay
“So that is why you wish to return to the safety of Rome?” she asked. “And is Rome safe? We are all here, are we not, because the emperor has banned all Jews. Does he know that you yourself believe in the one God?” She wanted to hurt him.
“The emperor does not concern himself with such mundane matters,” Marcus said. “He signed the papers making me the prefect of the Vigiles, but would not recognize me on the street.”
“I hear Claudius is a wise man.”
“Yes, but even the wisest emperor couldn’t possibly know all of his men.”
“But it is Rome that you love,” Annia said. Was she looking for him to deny this fact? Would that make things easier for her?
“I feel I can protect you in Rome,” Marcus said, appealing to her. “I can’t here.”
Though his words pierced her heart—she longed for his protection—she couldn’t admit it. She was not his to protect. “And why would I want or need your protection? Isn’t protection something you would more logically supply for Cassia?”
“You are correct in your assessment,” Marcus said. “I am under family obligation to protect Cassia and her family. They have done me a very generous turn, and I owe them the same.”
“I see,” Annia said, her words clipped. She didn’t need to hear any more.
“But, Annia, I am not marrying Cassia.”
She searched his eyes. This was not a declaration of love to her. This was a declaration of fact.
She said nothing. She kicked her horse’s side and rode away from yet another man who threatened to break her heart.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Marcus spent the last day of the journey praying. He prayed for grace. He prayed for understanding. More than anything else, he prayed for wisdom to know what exactly it was he should do next. Was it fair to Annia to declare his love for her and beg her to take her children and follow him back to Rome?
Rome wasn’t safe for them. But neither was Britain. Could he depend on the protection of her mother’s people to keep Annia’s family safe from the attacks that continued against Roman citizens throughout the island?
Was his place in Rome? It was a once in a lifetime position, he knew that. To give it up to live in Britain would mean to never be offered such a prestigious position again. How could he best protect and provide for Annia and her children?
That was it. If he was honest with himself, he knew that was what he wanted more than anything. Assurance that he could keep them safe.
“You’re quiet,” Titus said after several hours of silence. “The quietest you’ve been. What’s on your mind?”
“Annia,” Marcus said, cutting right to the truth.
“Yes,” Titus said. “I imagine so.”
“What I want seems simple enough until I am actually in her presence. Then, it seems, my words become as muddled as my brain.”
“Not easy for a man accustomed to giving orders.”
Marcus laughed. “You are correct.”
Titus chuckled. “I’ve found the thing that works with Virginia is listening to her. Really listening and not letting my mind wander while she talks.”
“That, my friend, is not easy,” Marcus said. “Women, they talk in circles.”
“So the first thing you have to do is listen to her words. Maybe even say a few of them back to her, a few things that she’s just said to be sure you get it, and to show her you’re listening.”
“That is ridiculous,” Marcus said. “Why would I say back to her what she just said to me?”
“Trust me,” Titus said. “You do that and watch what happens to her eyes. They’ll open wide like this.” Titus demonstrated.
Now it was Marcus’s turn to hold tight to the wagon seat so he wouldn’t fall off from laughing.
“And then, she’ll say, ‘Why, yes, that is it,’ and you will feel as though you just won a very important battle.”
Marcus heard soft giggling in the wagon behind him. He slid open the half door and sure enough, Lucia and Theodora had their ears up to the door and were both laughing, the tears rolling down their faces.
“What do you find so amusing?” Titus asked.
“Nothing,” Theodora said, “nothing at all.”
Lucia poked her head through the door. “We are laughing because what you are saying really is true. It’s enlightening to hear how difficult it is for you two to understand women.”
“Well, maybe you could give us some insight?” Marcus asked.
“My advice is this,” Theodora said, “declare your love for her. It’s all women want—to know they are loved and loved deeply.”
Marcus felt his heart give a little jump when Theodora said that word love. Was it possible that Annia loved him?
Marcus heard horses approaching from behind. Annia’s father, Tertius, appeared, a bright smile on his face.
“We’re almost there. This is Londinium,” Tertius called, almost as proudly as if he had built it himself.
Annia followed close behind. “I am amazed,” she said, looking with wide-eyed wonder at the busy little town. “Where there were thick woods, now there are round houses.”
Marcus followed her gaze. Children played in the grassy front yards, and stone fences enclosed small farms. As they grew closer to the settlement, he heard a pig squeal.
Farther down the road they passed shops that had sprung up since he was last here two short years before. There was a baker, a fish house and a wine shop. It was a Roman town right here in Britain. There was new construction up and down the freshly paved streets. One especially large building promised to be a bathhouse.
Annia laughed. “Leave it to the Romans to make cleanliness as important as security.” She pointed to the garrison tower close to the banks of the Thames and the soldiers who stood atop the tower watching the arrivals and departures of merchant ships. Londinium even had its own inn.
Her joy was infectious. This was the Annia he knew before she started hating him.
A few short miles past Londinium, Marcus hardly recognized the new road leading to the countryside villas. Two years before, the road had been dirt.
They drew near the pasture Tertius identified as his.
It reached over two hills, and the rambling stone wall reached farther than he could see. Sheep dotted the rolling green hills.
Watching Annia’s face flush with pleasure as she drew near her home gave him joy.
But would he have a moment alone with her to share everything that was in his heart?
* * *
As they approached her parent’s villa, the dogs began barking, first one, then another, and then, it seemed, hundreds joined the chorus from a building beyond the villa. Annia looked back at Marcus. In spite of her confusing emotions about him, she wanted him to love this villa. She wasn’t certain why this was important to her, but it was.
He flashed her a smile that was warm and engaging, and she couldn’t help smiling back.
Several dogs circled her father’s horse, tails wagging furiously. One whined and pushed his way until he was the closest to her father. The dog looked very much like the beloved hound, Thistle, she had left behind. She knew it was not her dog, but, perhaps, a descendant.
Annia’s heart pounded, tears rose in her eyes. She was home.
She looked up to see her mother running toward her. She engulfed Annia and baby Maelia in her arms, and Annia felt her mother’s tears against her face.
As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.
The verse came to her each time her mother hugged her.
“She is just beautiful!” her mother said, hugging Maelia close. “She looks just like you when you were a baby.”
Annia found her voice choked with tears, and she co
uldn’t respond.
Her mother filled in. “I’ve arranged a dinner for tomorrow night with a friend eager to see you again. But, your father spoke of things that make me believe your heart belongs to another. I don’t want to make a fool of the young man we’ve invited, so you must let me know the truth.”
Annia’s eyes widened. She stole a quick glance at Marcus, but he hadn’t heard her mother’s words. The wagon rolled to a stop, and the boys tumbled out followed by Lucia.
Theodora climbed down from the seat and looked around her, surveying the villa grounds.
Annia’s mother held her hand out to first Lucia and then Theodora. She led them through the ivy-covered entryway and into the house where they were greeted by two female servants and taken up to their rooms.
Annia led her sons to their grandmother.
She knelt down and hugged them one by one, holding them out in front of her and examined them like precious jewels, running her hands gently over their hair, and cupping their chins in her hands.
“You are both handsome,” she said. “You will make big and strong warriors someday. I will feel safe knowing you are guarding me.”
The boys’ smiles nearly reached their ears.
“Grandmother, may I see the pups?” Flavius asked.
“Why, yes,” she said. “As soon as you bathe and we eat, I’ll get Rufus to take you out to see them. He is in charge of all the dogs.”
“Do you have so many?” Cato asked.
“We have over a hundred,” his grandmother said. “We raise them and sell them. Many go across the ocean to Rome. You may even have seen some of our dogs in the villas of your friends.”
“Amazing,” Flavius said. “So many and so far.”
“My grandsons make me proud,” her mother said to Annia. “I’m so happy to have children in the house. What joy they bring.”
* * *
Marcus stood quietly back watching the exchange. When the children had run inside with Annia to wash up for dinner, he stepped forward.
“Ah,” Annia’s mother said, “you must be Marcus,”
“Yes, domina, and I am so pleased to meet you.” He bowed respectfully, but she pulled him out of the bow and hugged him tightly.
“I am Flavia Domitilla, and I am so happy to make your acquaintance. You saved my child.”
Marcus shook his head. “In truth, your child saved herself. She fought like a bear to stay afloat and keep her children safe. You can be proud of her, very proud indeed.”
“You are kind as well as brave. It is an honor to have you in our home. We hope you will stay and eat,” she said.
“Thank you, I look forward to it.”
Titus stepped forward, and Flavia met him with the same generous hug with which she had greeted Marcus. “Titus, old friend. You’ve brought my child safely home.”
“That I have, domina, but not without the help of this man without whom two of your grandchildren would not be with us.”
“So I’ve heard, Titus, so I’ve heard. I look forward to hearing the whole story when you have had time to bathe and eat. You know where the baths are. That has not changed. I’m sure you are hungry after your long trip. I am eager to feed you.”
Titus smiled his thanks and led Marcus to the private baths.
The home was grand indeed.
There was both a hot and a cold room in their private bathhouse, and Marcus was happy to bathe in the warm waters of the hot bath, where soap was available. This custom of soap, borrowed from the Gauls, had not caught on yet in Rome, and he had missed it while he was there. He scrubbed himself down and then went directly to the cold baths.
The boys splashed happily in the cold baths, and Marcus floated beside them.
“I hope Mother is no longer angry at you,” Cato said.
“So do I,” Marcus replied.
Cato shook his head with Marcus. “Sometimes it takes a long time for her anger to disappear. But then, it is like it never happened,” Cato finished with a triumphant smile.
“Well,” Marcus said, “I’ll look forward to that day.”
Cato patted Marcus’s back. “Don’t worry. It will come.”
Marcus wished he could be half as optimistic as the boy. He did, however, appreciate the encouragement.
“All will be well,” Titus said, and patted his back also.
Marcus got the strange feeling he was going into battle, and he wasn’t sure he was prepared.
Nor was he sure what he would do even if Annia did forgive him. Would he go back to Rome? To do so would mean making more money than he could ever make by staying here. If Annia forgave him, as prefect, he could save his silver to buy her the villa of her dreams.
But how long would that take? And did Annia even care?
He did feel better after the baths, and he looked forward to the dinner.
He had a mission now. He needed to get her alone so that he could declare his love.
All afternoon, the smell of grilled venison, rabbit and beef filled the gardens and spilled out into the surrounding field. Savory roasted vegetables and berry pies, oatcakes and wheat and barley loaves were being prepared, and the heavily laden table would feed everyone gathered here already, and more besides.
* * *
Annia busied herself with the bread, making certain it baked an even golden brown. When it was done, she heard the boys returning from the bath house. She knew Marcus was with them.
She ran upstairs and arranged her hair. She held the bronze looking glass in front of her, pinched her cheeks and wet her lips.
Virginia caught sight of her as she was hurrying down the hall, having tidied the upstairs rooms for sleeping.
“You caught me trying to look beautiful,” Annia admitted.
* * *
Titus led Marcus to the dining room, and he was relieved to see that Annia’s mother did not believe in the Roman habit of lying down to eat and, instead, had a very sensible long table with benches rather than couches.
Annia and the children did not appear at first, only the men were in the room. They chatted amiably, the room calm.
Marcus watched the door, trying not to make it obvious. But he looked forward to seeing Annia, despite the fact that she wasn’t talking to him.
Theodora, Lucia and Virginia all came in, dressed in their best stolas and pallas.
Flavia came in next, her black hair piled on top of her head in a beautifully twisted braid, the white streaks only highlighting the beauty of her face.
Marcus waited and still Annia did not appear.
He tried joining into the conversation with Flavia and Theodora, who sat on either side of him. They sipped their drink and talked of the local governor and the horrendous taxes they were forced to pay to Rome.
Idle chatter to pass the time.
When Annia finally came through the dining room columns, he heard a sharp intake of breath and realized it was his.
The light from the window shone on her face, and sparkled across her glistening gown. Her stola was a soft gauzy blue, her palla yellow silk that rustled behind her as she walked. Her hair was caught up in a golden band that wound around her head like a crown. Soft, curly tendrils escaped, softening the beauty of her face. Her arms sparkled with delicate gold bracelets, and dangling earrings shimmered at her neck. Her soft brown eyes glowed, and she stood tall, a gold belt around her gown. The belt dangled at her side, nearly touching the gold sandals outlining her graceful feet, thin gold anklets jingling around her delicate ankles.
Marcus stood with the rest of the men in the room as they had for each woman who had come in.
But Marcus forgot to sit down, so taken away was he by her beauty.
He had always known she was beautiful, but he had never had the opportunity to watch her walk
into a room.
A nervous laugh from Theodora and Flavia alerted him to the fact that he was still standing, watching her even though she and everyone else had sat down.
Theodora whispered into his ear, “Hold steady, my friend.”
He sat down quickly and gave Theodora a quick nod, thanking her for saving him from further embarrassment.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The dinner lasted until long past the sunset. Courses were brought in one after the other. Annia sat immediately to Marcus’s right, but the room was crowded. Would he ever be able to get her alone? They must talk.
When the dinner was over, musicians were brought in. The harpist from Caledonia sang a song that was so sad it made Lucia cry. The poignant melody made her long for her home. Annia put her arm around Lucia and led her from the room.
Marcus halfway rose, then sat down. It would be selfish of him to follow them.
He needed to be alone with Annia, just for a few moments. She would most likely see to Lucia, feed Maelia and go to bed herself. He tried not to be too terribly disappointed. There would be other days.
“Well,” Tertius said, “I know you are eager to see your father’s villa.”
“Yes.” Marcus knew his response was less than enthusiastic. He wasn’t certain he was ready to leave. “I thank you for your kindness,” he said, collecting his manners and his wits so that he could travel to his family villa. Marcus stood as if to leave.
“Surely you don’t mean to leave tonight,” Tertius said, “the sun has set, and your father’s villa is half a day’s journey from here. You won’t reach home until dawn. Stay here with us. We have more rooms than people.”
Marcus tried to think of a reason to leave but couldn’t come up with one. He would stay.
“Thank you, Tertius. You are as kind as you are wise. I would be a fool to begin a journey at this late hour. I would probably fall asleep, topple from off your horse and break my neck.”
Marcus smiled, and Tertius laughed heartily. “I hope not, but it would please me for you to stay.”
Titus showed Marcus to a room.
His stomach fed and his body clean, Marcus fell into the bed and tried not to think of Annia. He needed sleep.
