Dermot still knelt next to me and gave me an odd look as he took my pulse.
I was vaguely aware that I’d inadvertently exposed my secret, but I was more worried about surviving to worry about it.
Scooter walked up behind Dermot, his hands now free.
“I’m sorry,” I said, unsure if he could hear me since I was shaking so hard. “I’m sorry about Jeanne.”
He didn’t answer, just stared down at me and James.
“Scooter,” James said, “I’m sorry. I should have protected her.”
He shook his head. “She wouldn’t have let you.”
Dermot, who was still kneeling beside me, glanced over at James. “Her pulse is weak. We need to get her out of those clothes then wrapped up in something to warm her up. Being covered in Chapman’s blood isn’t helpin’ the situation.” He looked toward two men in the doorway. “I need water, towels, and some blankets.”
“We’re not doin’ it here.” James got to his feet and strode across the warehouse toward the now-open doors, carrying me like I weighed nothing. “Jed,” he barked. “Start my car. Turn the heater on full blast.” Then he opened the back door to his car and got inside, cradling me on his lap while I shivered uncontrollably.
“Tell me what to do, Rose,” he pleaded.
“It’ll pass.” At least I hoped. “I just have to warm up. I’ve never been stuck in death like that before. This time I couldn’t breathe. I—I felt like I was drowning in blood.”
“Dermot shot Merv from a hole in the roof, and Merv fell on top of you. The blood was his, and you couldn’t breathe because he was crushin’ you.” I continued to shiver, and James started rubbing my arms and my legs. “You were havin’ a vision when Dermot shot Merv?”
“I was tryin’ to fix it.”
“Fix what? Merv?” He placed his hand on my head and held my cheek to his chest. “You can’t fix everything, Rose. No matter how much you want to. There was no fixin’ Merv. He was too far gone.”
Yet I had seen a tiny sliver of the decent man I was sure he’d once been . . . and now he was gone. So many people were gone.
I started to cry.
“Shh . . .” he whispered into my ear, then rolled down the window and hollered his brother’s name.
Scooter came over to the car door, still looking out of it.
“Get in,” James said. “I’ll bring you home.”
Scooter shook his head. “I’ll stay and help clean up. Jed can take me home later. Take care of Rose.”
The two men locked eyes for several seconds; then James rolled up the window and said, “Forget cleanin’ her up. Drive us home. Then come back and help Dermot with the mess.”
I wondered who he was talking to for a moment, but Jed was still in the driver’s seat, and he took off like a bat out of hell, dust flying up around the car.
Jed drove us to James’ house, and since he lived south of town, we were there in less than twenty minutes. Speeding probably helped.
“Why are we here?” I asked as James got out of the car. Jed had already gotten out and unlocked the door.
“Because I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
James stopped in front of Jed with me still in his arms. “Jed . . . I’m sorry.”
Jed nodded. “We’re good. We’ll talk tomorrow. Take care of Rose.”
James nodded. Then he bounded up the stairs, still carrying me, and headed straight into his bathroom. He set me down on the side of the tub as he walked into the shower and turned on the water. After stripping off his own bloody clothes, he sat down beside me and approached me like I might break apart if he touched me. “I’m gonna take off your dress, okay?”
I nodded, tears tracking down my cheeks again. In the mirror, I could see I was drenched in Merv’s blood as well as my bruised and battered face. I reached up to help James take off my dress, but now that his body heat wasn’t next to me, I was shivering uncontrollably again. He must have decided this wasn’t the time for gentleness, because he grabbed the neckline of my dress and ripped it down the middle, tugging it down. The dress fell to the floor, and he carried me into the shower, still wearing my bra and panties and the gun holster around my thigh.
After setting me on the tiled bench, he angled the steaming water on me. “Is that too hot?”
I shook my head.
“Do you want it warmer?”
“Yeah.”
He adjusted the temperature and then took off my underwear and the holster, tossing them out of the shower and onto the floor. The contrast from last night to now was startling, yet the demanding passion and tender devotion were both part of him.
He washed me with shower gel, his hands gentle, and when he was done, he pulled me to my feet and pressed me to his chest as the water pelted my back. “You’ve stopped shivering. Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah,” I said slowly, but then I decided he deserved the truth. Even if it scared him. “Sort of. I still don’t feel quite right.”
“What do you need?”
“I don’t know. I think maybe I need sleep.”
He grabbed a towel and brought it into the shower before he turned off the water. As soon as he had me dry, he got out and grabbed another towel out of a cabinet. I tried to get out too, but he wrapped the fresh towel around me and scooped me up instead. He carried me into his room, tossing down the covers and gently laying me on the sheets. By the time he’d covered me up, I was shivering again.
He sat next to me and studied me with fear in his eyes. “I’m going to make you some hot tea. Maybe you need to be warmed up from the inside.”
“Okay.”
The tea helped, but it wasn’t enough. James climbed into bed with me, pressing his naked front to my back and covering my arms and legs with his own. Within a minute or so, my shivering stopped.
“Are you tired?” he asked.
We were honest when we were naked. “I’m scared to go to sleep.” Every time I closed my eyes, that horrible darkness filled my head.
“You’re safe, Rose. I swear it. No one’s gettin’ in here.”
I laced my fingers with his. “I know.”
“I didn’t protect you tonight,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not your responsibility.”
“But I want you to be.” He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on my temple. “Go to sleep. Let me take care of you. Let me do this so I don’t feel so helpless.”
“Okay.”
He began to lightly stroke my arm, and soon I drifted off into a dreamless sleep. I’d face reality tomorrow.
Chapter 29
When I awoke, the room was dark. The drapes had been pulled, but somehow I knew I’d slept late. James was in bed with his laptop, which he quickly put on his bedside table when he saw me stir.
“You’re wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt,” I murmured as I rolled over to face him.
“I do wear clothes sometimes.”
I grinned. “What time is it?”
“Eleven thirty.”
“In the morning?”
“Yeah.”
I sat upright, then remembered I was still naked. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
“Because you needed to sleep.” He tugged me back down, then lay next to me, on top of the covers. He brushed a stray hair from my face.
“What are you doin’ here with me? Shouldn’t you be workin’?” I asked. “Shouldn’t you be takin’ care of what happened last night?”
“It’s been taken care of.”
“Jed took care of it alone?”
“No, Dermot helped. And Scooter. Even if I’d tried to help, Jed wouldn’t have let me. He was worried about you. How do you feel?”
“Better.”
“You’re sure?” he asked, searching my eyes.
“Yeah.” I watched him in amazement. If you’d told me a year ago, or even last November, that big, bad, gruff Skeeter Malcolm would be lying on a bed with me one day, worried about me, I would have fallen apart
laughing. And yet here he was, a different man from the one I’d first met. He’d been in there all along. I’d just helped find him.
And I wanted him.
“Are you hungry?”
I lifted my mouth to his and murmured against his lips. “Not for food.”
A fire filled his eyes, and he leaned over and kissed me as though this was our last time together. As though we didn’t have enough time.
I wondered if this was what life with him would be like. Living for the moment and taking what we could get.
But I didn’t want to think about the real world right now, or what this might mean. I only wanted to be here in bed with him.
Afterward, we lay in a sweaty, tangled mess of legs and sheets, and I laughed. “If we were together, I wouldn’t need to worry about workin’ out.”
“What if we were together?” he asked quietly.
I froze. Yesterday morning I’d dismissed it. Today, I found that I couldn’t.
“You called me a coward,” he said, his gaze holding mine. “You said I was afraid to care about someone. You were right.”
“James.” I lowered my gaze. “I had no right to say that.”
He lifted my chin until our gazes met. “You were right. I realized that last night. I was sure Merv was goin’ to kill you, and I thought about losin’ you, and I realized I’ve been wasting time. I’m scared of losing you, but it hurts so much more not havin’ you at all.” He leaned over and kissed me, then searched my face. “I want to try this with you.”
“When you say try this, what do you mean?”
“A relationship. A commitment.”
I tried to rein in my imagination . . . and my expectations. “Sex?”
“Was last night about sex?” he asked, but he wasn’t angry. “I was scared shitless. Part of me wants to run from this, hard and fast, but I also see the possibilities . . . I want you in my life, Rose. Both in my bed and out.”
“You said I was in danger if I’m linked to you.”
“Dermot’s takin’ over for Reynolds, and now that Merv’s gone, there’s no direct threat. Not from organized crime, anyway.”
“You’re sayin’ people could know we’re together and I wouldn’t be in danger?”
“At least for the moment. For the first time in a long while, real peace is on the horizon. Not that it made a difference before. We weren’t together, and you were linked to me anyway. You were still in danger.” He searched my face. “I’m ready to stop fighting this. But your life is a different story. You have a helluva lot more to lose than I do. That’s why I don’t want you givin’ me an answer yet. I want you to think about it. If we’re together, I don’t want you havin’ any regrets.”
I wanted to tell him that I didn’t need time. I knew what I wanted, but we still had the same issues we’d had yesterday morning. Or at least most of them. Some of them were too big to ignore. “Okay.”
“Two weeks,” he said. “I want you to take two weeks to mull it over. If we do this, I’m all in.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “You told me you didn’t do girlfriends.”
“I have no trouble admitting I’m an idiot.”
I grinned. “Well, that’s a step in the right direction.”
Once again, I didn’t have any clothes, so I wore another of James’ T-shirts and a pair of sweatpants, but no matter how tight I pulled the string, it wasn’t tight enough.
James insisted it didn’t matter since he was taking me straight to the farmhouse.
“I haven’t asked about Neely Kate,” I said. I knew Jed must have let her know I was safe. But what did she know about last night? I asked as much.
“Parts of what happened. The man at the gas station where we think Merv picked you up was shot. Jed got the text you sent and went to the fertilizer plant. He quickly realized no one was there and called Neely Kate lookin’ for you. Jed took off for the warehouse—thanks to the directions you gave me yesterday morning. And Neely Kate and Witt heard about the gas station shooting and went to see if you’d been involved since it was so close to the junkyard. Once they heard that the man had seen a brunette in a blue dress wrestling a big guy in a dark sedan, they’d figured out it was you. Neely Kate called me, and I deduced it was Merv.”
That explained my vision of Witt with the police cars. “Merv shot that poor man? Because of what I did?” I asked in dismay. “It’s my fault. I was shouting for help.”
“Merv’s aim was off. He barely nicked the guy. He’s gonna be fine.”
But he was still hurt. Because of me. Not like poor Jeanne who was dead.
A vise tightened around my chest.
“Jed and I weren’t sure what you wanted Neely Kate to know, so we decided to let you tell her yourself. She’s not mad. Just worried.”
“Does she know about Jeanne?”
“Witt found out and told her.”
My heart broke even more. “I should have been there for her.”
He didn’t answer.
After he made me scrambled eggs and bacon for lunch, he took me back to the farmhouse. Then he surprised me by getting out of the car and walking me to the door.
Jed must have recovered my backpack, because James pulled my keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He placed them in my palm and closed my fingers around them. “If you need me for anything, call me. Even during the next two weeks. If your answer is no, I still want to be your friend. I don’t want to lose you.”
Once upon a time, he’d told me he didn’t have friends either.
I gave him a sad smile. “I will.”
He kissed me then, long and soulful, a kiss that seemed to simultaneously last a hundred years and a few seconds. When he lifted his head, he smiled. “See you in two weeks.”
Then he walked back to his car and drove away. I watched him until he was out of sight.
I found Neely Kate in the kitchen making cookies. She glanced up when I walked in, and horror filled her eyes when she saw my face, quickly followed by tears, but I could see she was holding back. She paused. “Oh Rose. What did Merv do to you?”
“I’ll be okay. Sorry I worried you to death. Did Witt go home?”
“We figured we didn’t need him around anymore since you found Scooter and figured out Merv was behind it. I closed the office today . . . given everything.”
“It was the right call. I’m so sorry.”
She lifted her shoulder into a half-shrug. James had only been partially right. She wasn’t just worried. Her feelings were hurt.
“I want to tell you what happened last night and why I did what I did. No more secrets, remember?”
Her mouth parted. “Really?”
“Really.”
She put her last batch of cookies into the oven, then sat down at the table with me. I told her everything. My worry over Violet. The reason I called Jed to help me. The chaos that unfolded in the warehouse. My extreme reaction to being in a vision when Merv was killed.
Then I told her about James.
“I can’t believe he wants a relationship with me,” I said. “Less than a month ago, he told me he didn’t do girlfriends.”
“You think that’s what he’s wanting?” Neely Kate asked. “A girlfriend?”
“He said if I decided to try this, he was all in and committed. That sounds like a relationship.”
“What about what you want?” she asked me.
“I want to try it, but there’s a lot at risk. It’s not just me. I have two businesses and employees who are counting on me for a paycheck. You. Maeve and Anna. Bruce Wayne. What if Bruce Wayne inadvertently gets tied to James because of me? I also have to think about Violet and her family.” Mike had already expressed concerns about my choice of company.
“So what are you gonna tell him when your two weeks are up?”
“I honestly don’t know yet.” This was going to be a long two weeks.
“James said Witt told you about Jeanne.”
She glanced down at the table
. “Yeah.”
“We should have called Joe.”
Neely Kate lifted her gaze to mine. “She wouldn’t let us.”
“We should have done it anyway.”
“Some people don’t want help, Rose, no matter how much you want to help them.”
My phone rang, and I dug it out of my backpack, surprised to see Maeve’s number come onto the screen. Had she heard any of what happened last night? “Hey, Maeve.”
“Rose? Are you at your office or at a client’s house?” Her voice sounded shaky.
“I’m at home. What’s goin’ on? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It’s Violet. Mike just rushed her to Henryetta Hospital.”
My back stiffened. “What? What happened?”
“I don’t know,” she said, sounding like she couldn’t catch her breath. “She dropped in at the nursery to say hello. She seemed fine; then she just collapsed. Mike wouldn’t wait for the ambulance—he just picked her up and rushed off with her.”
“Do you know where the kids are?” I was already halfway up the stairs to change my clothes.
“With Mike’s parents. Violet said they came back to town early.”
“Thank you, Maeve.”
“Let me know if you hear anything.”
“I will.”
Neely Kate had followed me, and I quickly explained to her what was going on as I threw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. “Will you come with me?” I asked. “I’m scared to death.”
“Of course.” She pulled me into a hug. “I’m here, Rose. I’m always here for you. But first let’s put on some makeup to cover up some of those bruises. Your sister’s goin’ through enough without having to worry about you.”
Violet wasn’t in the ER when Neely Kate and I got to the hospital. She’d been moved to a room on the second floor.
Neely Kate clasped my hand in hers as we got on the elevator. I knew deep in my gut that this was bad news, and I was pretty sure Neely Kate knew it too.
Violet was lying in a bed with her eyes closed, hooked up to an IV and monitors. Mike sat in a chair next to her. His gaze jerked up when he saw us, and he got up and moved to the door, motioning for us to head back out.
For the Birds: Rose Gardner Investigations #2 (Rose Gardner Investigatons) Page 29
