I wanted to fly back to Earth as soon as I reached Grands. I wanted to race back to Abigail, apologize, and comfort her. But most of all I wanted to cry, even though I didn’t know how angels cried. But soon I realized that there was no difference between my teardrops and the rain.
WEB OF LIES
*Abigail*
“If I said a prayer, it was because I needed a hero.
If I lost my faith, it was because I lost my belief.
If I made a wish, it was because I lost my hope.
If I daydream, it was to escape my reality.”
Melody Manful
I finally hit rock bottom.
Hearing Gideon say he killed my father was worse than everything that happened to me in the weeks I got to know him. Just when I thought I couldn’t hurt anymore, I did.
“He has been like that since he was five,” Tristan told me while I sat on my bed feeling forlorn.
My bodyguards brought me home from the cemetery, and I couldn’t stop shaking the whole way. Tristan was in my room when I entered. He had refused to leave, explaining to me about being my guardian angel and how he wasn’t supposed to leave, especially not after I made Gideon angry.
I made Gideon angry? I had no comment for that. As a matter of fact, it was good that I was in too much shock to speak because I was sure if I had spoken coherent sentences, nothing nice would have come out. I had made the angel, who Tristan described to be worse than Satan angry, after he told me he wanted to kill me and confessed to murdering my father? Hate really didn’t define what I felt for Gideon. Hate was just a word I was using to try and describe my emotions.
Anger, hatred, and betrayal were the beginning of what I felt. I sat and listened to Tristan going on and on about guardian angels, Lumens, Grands, Guardian Paradise, and places I didn’t believe existed. I couldn’t believe that after everything I had gone through, I ended up back in my room where it all started with that terrible nightmare, but this time I was accompanied by a guardian angel.
Angels? Really? That was what they were?
Angels were supposed to be mythical, loving creatures sent from God to guide mankind—not like Gideon! Tristan, on the other hand, had me convinced. I hated Gideon for telling me who and what he was. I hated him for coming into my life. I hated that I ever knew him. And I felt angry and stupid for the way I allowed myself to feel for him.
“The most evil?” I finally got the courage to speak when Tristan called Gideon the Lucifer of his kind. “At age five?” It was taking me awhile to comprehend what I was hearing.
Gideon was even worse than I thought he was. Of course I saw his angry face, his dead eyes, and the dark wings, but I didn’t expect to hear that he was even more evil than I had imagined.
I was shaking so much I was sure that I was going to collapse. My emotions left me confused, scared, angry, and sad. And Tristan wasn’t helping my fear by telling me all the stories of his world. I did ask him to tell me about Gideon, but I wasn’t expecting to hear stories straight from Heaven, or in Gideon’s case, straight from Hell.
“I know this is a lot to take in.” Tristan sat beside me on the bed and took my hand.
“A lot to take in?” My voice sounded fragile and foreign to my own ears. I had never felt so vulnerable or broken. My whole world seemed like it was moving in circles. “Gideon killed all those people and my father.” When I finally spoke the words, every inch of my body rebelled. All I had to do was open my mouth and scream until my lungs gave out. But I couldn’t, not because I didn’t want to, but because my body was too tired and shaken to even try to open my mouth. My throat felt as though someone was choking me from the inside, and my body ached like someone had scratched me with invisible claws.
In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. I forced myself to breathe, and then finally my body started to cooperate with my brain, and a little sound escaped my lips.
“And then he left.” Somehow saying that last line seemed to be my problem. I don’t know why I said it, but I hated myself after the words came out of my mouth. I wanted to take them back, but it was too late. The damage was done.
“You told him to go away.”
The fault was mine. I wanted to yell at Tristan and tell him to go away, but I didn’t have the strength.
“Angels aren’t supposed to be like Gideon,” I whispered.
It didn’t matter what I thought of Gideon. He was gone. He was a nightmare. He was someone I was glad to be rid of. Maybe I deserved all the horrible things Gideon had done to me. I was the one who listened to everyone and told myself that my nightmare was nothing. I was the reason why that accident happened.
“I’d like to get some rest now,” I managed to get out. I still had my hand in Tristan’s.
“Of course.”
All I heard was a snap of his fingers, and I was under my covers with my head on my pillow. Tristan kneeled beside the bed and stared sadly at me.
Don’t freak out. I tried to breathe. Don’t freak out. I found a new mantra.
“I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Tristan tried to move, but I took hold of his hand, stopping him. I wanted him to stay with me.
“Lie here with me,” I said, making room on the bed for him. “At least until I fall asleep,” I begged.
Tristan lay beside me and began humming a lullaby. I placed my head on his chest and breathed in.
“You’re going to be all right, I promise,” he murmured. Then he kissed my forehead and put his hands around me hugging me close. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring or if I would ever recover from my shock, but I knew one thing: guardian angel or not, in Tristan’s arms, I felt safe.
BEAUTIFUL LIAR
“We were born yesterday.
Today we will live
so we can reminisce tomorrow.”
Melody Manful
“Abigail, you don’t have to do this,” Tristan said as he pulled his school bag over his shoulders.
I faked a smile and lied, “Tristan, I’m fine.”
We entered the school gates together. Tristan had been asking me if I was okay since I woke up this morning. Although he stood on my balcony when I awoke, I hadn’t asked him any more about the angel world. I decided to forget about it. The pain from thinking about what Gideon was, and what he had done was driving me insane. I wanted to busy myself so that I could forget about him. So far, it wasn’t working.
Last night, my mother had come into my room with dinner. Upon seeing me staring blankly at my hands, she said, “Abby, it’s been more than a week since Dad and Felix…” Her voice hitched, and she paused to stop herself from crying. Still she continued, “We are barely alive, and I’m sure they wouldn’t want us living like this, so let’s try to keep their memory alive. Let’s remember the good times and not dwell on what happened. I’m not promising that we’ll ever really get through this or that we’ll ever be whole again, but let’s try living for them, for us.” I had hugged her. We spent the rest of the night sharing stories about them.
I didn’t tell her that I was partly sad because of Gideon. So when she bid me goodnight and asked if I was going to be all right, I said I would be just fine. It was a lie, but I had gotten used to saying the words for my mother’s sake. She wanted a fresh start, and I didn’t want to take that away from her.
As Tristan and I walked through the main school hallway, I noticed that the lockers had been replaced. Seeing the new lockers made me remember how the last ones had been destroyed. Like always, I tried to greet everyone who spoke to me. Many people expressed their condolences for what happened to my bodyguards. No one knew that the man who died at the bridge was actually my father.
When we entered the classroom, my friends were already there. I said hey to them and followed Tristan to our usual seats. It was the same old show over and over. I smiled, listened, and hoped the day would pass without me breaking into pieces.
During each class, I kept looking at the door
, silently hoping that Gideon wouldn’t show up, luckily for me he didn’t. My friends tried calling his phone to check on him, but they never received an answer. I didn’t bother to get into the whole human versus angel discussion or to tell them that he was gone for good. I didn’t even blink when they asked me if I knew where he was. After school that day, I let Ben drive me to the graveyard, where I replaced the old flowers with new ones.
When I came home, I tried to go out to the field so I could get my mind off my father, Gideon, and everything that had happened with some training, but Tristan protested.
“Abby, you can’t go there unfocused. You could get hurt,” he argued when I made my way toward the hidden entrance to the hall.
“I don’t care if I get hurt,” I said.
“I care, and I couldn’t bear it if something happens to you.” He looked so sad when he said this.
“Fine, I’ll stay away,” I promised, seeing how troubled he seemed. My response was all it took for him to smile.
The next day I did the same thing all over again. I put a smile on my face and pretended I was just fine. Gideon wasn’t in school that day either, and again my friends tried to call him. When I came home after school, my mother had left a message saying she would be at the office a little longer than normal. I figured she wanted to busy herself with work, to cope with her loss.
“Abigail, we should talk,” Tristan said the very moment I entered my room. He stood with two beautiful young women. I couldn’t describe how lovely they were even if I tried. They looked inhuman.
“This is Princess Sela—the princess of Grands,” Tristan said as he introduced me to the girl with golden hair. She wore a silver crown as well. Her eyes were strikingly blue, and she wore a brilliant smile on her face.
“Nice to meet you, Abigail,” Sela said in a light, singing voice.
“And this is Valoel. She’s Gideon’s little sister.”
My heart skipped a beat. Valoel had dark auburn hair and green eyes just like Gideon’s. She was just as beautiful as the princess. Gideon had a sister?
“I’ve heard so much about you, Abigail,” Valoel said. She had a friendly face—nothing like Gideon’s.
I stared at them, unsure of what to say. They weren’t exactly helping me to forget about Gideon.
“Nice to meet you, too,” I said quietly.
“I brought them here because you won’t talk to me about Gideon or about what happened. I figured maybe you could talk to a girl.”
I didn’t want to talk about Gideon with a princess, with his sister, or with anyone else. “I’m fine, really,” I lied.
“We are going to cheer you up anyway,” Valoel said, and after that, no matter what I said or how loudly I protested, they didn’t leave. We ended up watching The Notebook and The Vow.
After the movies, we talked about Grands. Sela described what it was like for her being a princess. Valoel talked about how beautiful Lumens was and how she loved going there. They both talked about Tristan and how he was always there when someone needed him.
I told them about my friends and my parents. When I mentioned my training, Sela asked me to show her a trick, so I did a backflip, and they clapped. I didn’t ask about Gideon, and they didn’t ask me to talk about him—they never once mentioned him. I was happy to just talk with someone who knew my real life, someone I didn’t have to hide things from. Tristan arrived later, and the girls said goodbye and disappeared. I appreciated Tristan urging me to give the girls a chance. I had enjoyed their company.
“Did you have a good time?” Tristan asked as I pulled my bedcover over me.
“Yes.” For once, I wasn’t lying. I did have a good time. “I wanted to ask you something,” I ventured. Tristan sat beside me on the bed. “All those times you asked to spend time with me, were you only doing that because you’re my guardian angel?” I asked. I’d wanted to know the answer to that question ever since I learned about his true identity.
“No, Abigail. I asked to spend time with you because I wanted to. I like hanging out with you.” He took my hand and continued, “If I did something to make you feel otherwise, it wasn’t my intention.”
“No, it’s not that. I just…I wanted to know.” I was happy that I wasn’t his burden. “Goodnight.”
The next day when I went to school, I didn’t look toward the door to see if Gideon would show up. I didn’t even feel bothered when my friends mentioned him. I was happy that he wasn’t at school. For once, I felt like my life was beginning to become my own again.
After school, Tristan asked if I wanted to get ice cream with him, and I said yes. Ben dropped us off in town. I put on a hat and oversize sunglasses and was able to avoid any attention from paparazzi. Tristan and I walked around town, talking about anything and everything we came across. He bought me an ice cream, but he didn’t buy one for himself. I assumed it was all part of the angels-don’t-eat speech he gave me. I even found myself laughing while we were together.
When I got home, my mother was in the kitchen with Morgan and Ben, and they were talking and laughing. The house no longer sounded dead.
“What’s going on here?” I asked when I joined them.
“Dinner. We’re making cookies, too,” my mother said as she leaned over to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Dinner and cookies.” I looked behind her to the kitchen counter that was topped with all sorts of food. “Are we having a party?” I asked.
“No, just dinner,” Morgan answered. “We might have gone a little overboard.”
I put my school bag down on one of the chairs. “Can I help?” I asked.
“Oh yeah, you can peel this onion, and I’ll go watch TV,” Ben said as he handed me a knife. He hurried out.
I washed my hands and joined my mother and Morgan. I knew they were trying to move on, and when we finally sat down and started eating, I could tell they truly were because their laughter was real. They talked about my father and Felix without crying, and they smiled and laughed at their memories.
The next day was Friday, and Gideon still didn’t show up at school. During our lunch break, Jake came up with the idea to throw a pool party at my place, so we could forget about all the bad things that had happened.
“We can put aside our sadness about your bodyguards, 9/11, Hitler, and we can try to forget that awful song we heard yesterday,” Jake said, listing his reasons for throwing a party on his fingers. When he said the last part, we all laughed because we knew he wanted us to lighten up.
I didn’t think having a pool party was a good idea. “Today?” I asked.
Sarah answered, “Why not? I can borrow a swimsuit from you, and Danny and Jake already brought theirs.”
“Did you guys plan this?” I looked at Tristan, who I knew would tell me if they did.
He shook his head. “I knew nothing about this because if I did, I’d have brought a suit, too.”
I wasn’t in a mood to party, so I said, “I’m sorry I—”
Tristan cut me off and said, “I think a pool party is what we all need—to live for a moment.”
I wanted to say no, and I tried to, but they all started chanting, “Come on, come on!” until I accepted.
After school, Ben picked us all up and drove to my house. When we entered the enclosure surrounding the indoor swimming pool, Morgan brought in more food and drinks than we could ever finish. Music already blasted from the speakers. I figured Morgan knew whether she liked it or not, we were going to make noise, so she might as well start it.
Jake and Danny jumped right into the pool. Sarah started talking about how she needed to approach the water with grace or her hair would be a mess. I sat laughing as Tristan tried to reason with Sarah to give a swim cap a chance. It took awhile, but Tristan won, and Sarah decided to wear a cap. She stepped into the pool shortly after that, and it didn’t take long for her to start chasing Danny and Jake because they splashed her.
“Abby, aren’t you going in the water?” Tristan asked.
“Why not? It looks like fun.”
“Then why aren’t you swimming?” I asked. “You can take off your shirt and just jump in.” Worst suggestion I ever made, because the moment the words came out, Tristan pulled his shirt over his head.
“That’s…” I wanted to say I didn’t mean it literally, but the words wouldn’t come out. My eyes were locked on his body. My face felt warm, and my heart rate flew out of control. For a second, I imagined tracing my fingers along his hard stomach, feeling the heat of his ripped body, and…
Oh, my God!
“I don’t like water,” I mumbled, spouting out the first thing that came to mind, and Tristan laughed. “I meant I don’t feel like swimming.”
He took the soda from my hand and put it back on the table. “You sure about that?” He then took my hand and pulled me toward the pool.
“I’m as sure as—”
The rest of my words never came out. Tristan and I hit the water. I tried to hold my breath, but I quickly resurfaced, gasping for air.
“Tristan!” I smacked him on the chest. “That was so—” I realized my hand was still on his chest, and he was still holding my shoulders from helping me swim to the surface.
And then I started chanting in my head: He’s just a friend. He’s just a friend. He’s just a friend. He’s just a…
“Tristan, don’t you know pool water isn’t good for the hair!” Sarah saved me as she rushed over.
When Tristan turned to her, I pulled away from him and found my breath. When my eyes met his again, I could almost swear I saw a smile of satisfaction tugging his lips, as if he were happy that I reacted to him the way I did.
BROKEN ANGEL
“Silence makes me want to scream.
Dominion Page 17
