by Kit Morgan
The Englishman leaned down and whispered in Herbert’s ear. “I think it’s time to step outside, don’t you?”
He let go her hand, and nodded vigorously. The Englishman pulled him to his feet, and then gave a curt nod to the woman, who followed him as he led a stumbling Herbert out the door. One of the men grabbed Finn as he tried to follow, and pulled him back into his seat. Finn shot her a helpless look, stared at the door, and swallowed hard. Adaline also looked to the door as a chill went up her spine. First Lorcan wasn’t doing well today, and now this, and to think it was only lunchtime. She still had the rest of her day to get through. She prayed the second half would be less eventful than the first.
Eleven
Upon her return, Adaline was saddened to find Lorcan hadn’t improved, and worried over him the rest of the day. Once home, dinner was a chore to get through, even without Herbert Walker in attendance. Mrs. Brown informed her guests that dear Herbert would no longer be staying with them, and had moved out to his new farm. But the news did nothing to help Adaline’s growing feeling that something was very wrong, and after retiring to her room, she paced the floor. Once she’d paced a good ten minutes, she decided she’d better pull herself together, and so took her wedding dress out of the trunk.
She hung it from a hook on the back of her door, and brushed the fabric with her hands. “Just look at you. You look as sad as I feel.”
“Adaline?”
She jumped, startled at hearing her name, then realized it came from outside in the hall. She shook her head in relief, and opened the door. Polly and Cyrus stood on the other side, looking very mischievous. Adeline folded her arms as she took in their matched expressions. “What have you two been up to?”
They glanced at each other, and smiled. “May we come in?” Polly asked.
“Of course.”
They entered. “This will only take a moment,” Cyrus said. “We have a proposal for you.”
“Oh?” Adeline said, intrigued.
“For both you and Lorcan,” Polly added.
“We know Lorcan came out west to start his own business, but he’s never had the chance because he’s convinced his folks can’t manage without him.”
Adaline looked from one to the other. “I’m listening.”
“Well,” Cyrus began again. “I happen to be great at business, so much so I need help, and could use someone to run my hotel in Clear Creek while I see to some investments here.”
Adaline’s eyes widened. “You … you want Lorcan and I …”
“Exactly,” Polly said, smiling. “You two could run the hotel after you’re married, while we work here. We want to do some things while we still have a few good years left to us. But can’t when we’re tied to the hotel.”
“That’s a very generous offer, but I don’t think Lorcan will leave his parents and the bookshop,” said Adaline.
“He’s wanted to have a business as long as we can remember,” Cyrus told her, “And the hotel would be perfect. In time, I may even sell it to him, if he’s of a mind to have it.”
Adaline sucked in a breath. Their offer was overwhelming. “I can’t speak for him, and besides, we’re not married yet.”
“Oh don’t worry, I’ll talk to him,” said Cyrus. “We just wanted to let you know so you can have something nice to think about instead of worrying yourself silly over the man.”
Polly reached out and touched her arm. “You hardly ate a thing at dinner.”
“I know,” Adaline agreed. “I can’t help it.”
“Ah, a sign of love.” Cyrus smiled and put an arm around his wife.
Adaline hugged them both. “Thank you, I needed that. Even if nothing comes of it, I appreciate the offer and I’m sure Lorcan will too. And you’re right, it will be something nice to think about.
Polly noticed her wedding dress hanging on the door. “I see you’ve been thinking other things as well …”
Adaline smiled and bit her bottom lip. “Yes.”
Cyrus laughed. “Polly, I think we’ll be attending her nuptials soon!”
The couple hugged her again, then left Adaline to her thoughts. Later, when she got ready for bed, she prayed with all her heart for Lorcan to get better and realized the Van Cleets’ were right. She was in love with him!
* * *
The week passed, and Adeline hadn’t seen much of Lorcan. When she did, he was quiet and would hardly look at her. He wasn’t avoiding her per say, but he wasn’t paying her much attention either. The news of Cyrus’s offer, only made things worse, and he retreated into himself. A dark pallor had fallen over the bookshop, and she knew something was very wrong, but no one was about to tell her what.
She was just giving a customer their change, when Mrs. Brody approached. “Adaline,” she said, her voice void of her usual cheer. “Lorcan wishes to speak with you.”
Tears stung the back of her eyes as she turned and looked at the older woman. Her face was pale, and she had dark circles under her eyes. A feeling of despair came over Adaline, and she had a strong feeling her upcoming visit with Lorcan wasn’t going to be pleasant.
She wiped her hands on her dress and nodded. Mrs. Brody walked slower than normal up the stairs, and once they were in the apartment, opened the door to Lorcan’s room as if she was showing her into a funeral.
Adaline entered the room, it was dark, the curtains closed against the bright sunshine of the afternoon. She ignored the sound of Mrs. Brody closing the door behind her, and stepped toward the bed. “Lorcan?” She watched as he sat up. He’d been up and about over the last week, but also slept a lot according, to Mr. Brody.
“Sit down, Adaline.”
She did, and clasped her hands tightly in her lap, as the same feeling of despair formed in the pit of her stomach. “Lorcan, what’s wrong?”
“Adaline … I … I don’t know how to say this.”
Her eyes widened. “Say what?”
“I can’t marry you.”
She reeled in the chair, and grabbed at the small table by his bedside for support. “What? Wh …why?”
“I … I want to, but you deserve better than what I have to offer.”
“Lorcan, no … what of Mr. Van Cleet’s hotel? Surely we can make it on that.”
“I’m sorry. But it’s for the best.”
“Lorcan, no. What ever it is, we can work it out, I … I love you.” There, she’d said it.
He stiffened in the dim light. “Addy … you don’t understand …”
“I do understand,” she said, the firmness in her voice surprising even her. “I understand that I love you! Now … now if you don’t love me, then just say so … but if it’s something else, then …”
“It’s too much to ask of you, Addy. I can’t!”
She swallowed hard, her heart in her throat. Her knees felt weak and a ringing started in her ears. “Lorcan, no …”
“There’s nothing more to be said.”
“You don’t love me.”
“I do.”
“Lorcan,” she cried. “I don’t understand!” She looked about the room, the dim light kept her from seeing his features, being able to look into his eyes. She marched to the window and parted the curtains, letting the light pour in.
Lorcan groaned.
She turned to him. He’d covered his eyes with his arm and turned his head away from the sunlight. “Lorcan?”
“Addy, you have to leave,” he rasped.
Her eyes widened as her mind raced over the last few days. He’d kept his eyes covered with bandages much of the time, claiming it was to reduce the swelling. But even she knew it didn’t take a pair of black eyes that long to heal. He might still have some bruising, but the swelling should be long gone. She marched back to the bed and looked at him.
“Addy, please, just go.”
He kept his eyes covered, and she watched as his whole body tensed. Oh no … oh Lorcan … She had to know if her suspicions were correct. “I’ll go. And I’m sorry, too.” She went to
the window and closed the curtains, but not all the way. She then walked to the door. “I still don’t understand …”
“Addy. Go.”
She chocked back a sob, opened the door, and left.
Lorcan sighed in relief, then shook with emotion. He looked to the ceiling before striking the bed with a fist, and groaned in anguish. “Addy …” he whispered. “My sweet Addy.” He felt around the table at his bedside, found a glass of water, and fumbled to pick it up. He drank, made to put it back on the table, and missed. The glass fell to the floor with a crash.
Adaline stood against the door, her mouth covered with both hands as tears streamed down her face. She was right …
Lorcan was blind.
* * *
The door opened, shut. Lorcan spun to the noise, his ears and mind burning with the sound of retreating footsteps. “Addy.” He sat in the dim light for a few moments, then fell against the pillows, an arm over his eyes, hands balled into fists. “Oh, good Lord in Heaven …”
She knew. She had to. Why else would she run away? It was what he guessed she would do when she found out. He thought if he said he couldn’t marry her, that it would be easier on her than having to wrestle with refusing to marry him. He didn’t want her thinking she had to marry him just because everyone assumed they would. But things were different now. Who knew if he’d ever get his sight back, and he’d fought with himself long and hard over the last week trying to decide what to do. His final conclusion was he couldn’t put that kind of burden on her, it was hard enough on his parents, and he’d made them promise not to tell her when they figured it out two days ago.
What he didn’t count on, was the agony in his heart when he told her. It had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Selfishly, he wanted to take her in his arms when she said she loved him, but he couldn’t. She deserved better. She deserved a man who was whole.
He was helpless, his life turned upside down. He had no idea what to do, how to live. Doc Henderson was right, sudden blindness was worse than going blind slowly, and the shock that went with it almost suffocating. But most of all he was angry. Angry with himself for not listening to his mother when she told him to stop fighting a year ago. Angry at Finn for constantly getting him into them, not to mention letting him do it. And he was angry with God for allowing it to happen. But … it wasn’t the Almighty’s fault he was now blind. It was his.
He made the choice to not listen, to not do what he knew he should, and look what it got him. Now he was going to have to live with it. Him, and him alone.
His family didn’t need to be dragged down with him and neither did Addy. He’d find a way to make things right, and still live his life, without being a burden. But it was going to take time, and he didn’t know how much. He felt worthless. He couldn’t even put the blasted glass back on the table, for crying out loud.
He sat for the next few hours, trying to convince himself he did the right thing. But Addy’s words haunted him well into the night. “I love you …”
* * *
Adeline ran and didn’t stop until she’d reached the boarding house. The Brodys’ did nothing to keep her from leaving as she hurried from Lorcan’s bedroom and out the door. Nor did either of them follow her to the bookshop below. Instead, they sat in the parlor, their expressions telling her what she already knew. How long they kept the news from her was anyone’s guess, several days at least, the mood in the bookshop changing from happy to sad almost over night that week.
Once inside her room, she shut the door, and slid down its wood to the floor. “Lorcan…” The tears came in waves, and she buried her face in her hands.
Didn’t he understand she loved him? That it didn’t matter? Besides, what if the blindness wasn’t permanent? Didn’t that count for anything? Didn’t he realize she was willing to wait it out with him whether his sight came back or not?
But how could he? She didn’t tell him she loved him until just now. Maybe he thought her incapable of being in love so soon, and thought she’d said it because … “Ohhhh, Lorcan Brody, you big ox! I do love you!” She sobbed into her hands again, then after a few moments, took a deep breath to pull herself together. She had to think of how to help him, not sit on the floor feeling sorry for herself. More importantly, she wasn’t going to stand by and let him feel sorry for himself either. It was what it was, and if there was nothing to be done about it, so be it.
She got up, dried her tears, and looked at her wedding dress. “I love you, Lorcan.” So much so, an idea began to form in her head, one so fantastic, she laughed at her own genius. Of course, it would either work, or it wouldn’t. But if it did, she’d become Mrs. Lorcan Brody. And if it didn’t, then she hoped he’d see it in his heart to forgive her.
* * *
“Lorcan. Good God, man, what happened?” Finn sat in the chair next to the bed, his voice laced with panic.
“We both knew I risked this every time I got into the ring. Well, here it is.”
“Ye can’t be blind, ye cant’!”
Lorcan turned his face to the sound of his voice. “Finn, I can and I am, and I’m doing my best to get used to the idea. It hasn’t been easy.”
“I … can only imagine. I’m so sorry … this is all my fault …”
“Finn, don’t. If not the last fight, then it would have been another. Doc Henderson has been telling me for months to quit. I didn’t listen.”
Finn’s chair creaked as he fidgeted.
“What?” Lorcan asked, sensing his friend’s nerves.
“Lorcan … I’ve done … something. Something you’re not going to like. But I guess it doesn’t matter now. I’ll deal with it.”
Lorcan knew that tone of voice. He straightened himself, got his bearings, and sat on the edge of the bed. “Finn, what have you done?”
Finn’s breathing picked up. “I had no choice, he threatened me, and I told him to bugger off, but when he threatened my family, and Adaline, I didn’t know what …
“Adaline? What about Adaline? Finn, what are you talking about?”
“Brennan, the man who arranged the fight that caused all this. He wants ye to fight again come Friday.”
“Friday? That’s two days from now. Finn! What have you done? What’s this about Addy and your family?”
“It doesn’t matter now, ye can’t fight. I’ll tell him what happened, that … that yer blind now. There’s no more reason for threats.”
“Am I hearing you right? This man said he’d harm your family and Addy if I didn’t fight for him?”
“Aye.”
“We need to tell the Sheriff!”
“Aye, I will. Don’t worry, he’ll not touch a hair on your wee bride’s head.”
Lorcan’s shoulders slumped. “She’s not my bride.”
“What do ye mean, she’s not? Yer still going to marry her aren’t ye?”
Lorcan shook his head. “How can I?”
“Because ye lover her, ye mule-headed idiot!”
Lorcan closed his eyes. Not because what little light there was in the room hurt, but because Finn was right, on both counts. Only a mule-headed idiot would tell Addy he couldn’t marry her because of a little set back. Okay, so maybe it was a big set back, but Finn still had a point. It was time to take action.
“Maybe another fight would knock some sense back into my head.”
Finn chuckled. “Lorcan me boy, ye always were a thick-headed …”
“Enough, let it rest. I’ve called myself more names over the past couple of days than I can count. Help me dress, will you?”
Finn guided him off the bed to stand next to the dresser. “Ye look terrible.”
“Well then, there’s one advantage to being blind, I can’t see my appearance.”
“Yer bride can.”
“Aye, so I suppose I’ll have to get cleaned up, eh?”
“That’s the spirit, lad. She’ll like what she sees by the time I get done with ye.”
“I hope you’re right, Finn. I
really do. I sent her away.”
“Mule-headed, dote.”
“Uh-huh. But don’t worry, we’ll name our first child after you. If she’ll still have me, that is.”
Finn laughed and slapped him on the back. He then helped him prepare for the biggest apology he’d ever had to make.
* * *
It was late, and Adaline hoped the Brodys’ weren’t already in bed. She took out her key, and opened the door to the bookshop. They’d only just given it to her, and this was the first time she’d used it.
The bell above the door rang, and she had to gather her skirts around her to make it inside. Careful not to bump into anything, she moved slowly to give her eyes time to adjust to the darkness, and soon moved with more confidence toward the back of the shop. Once she reached the staircase, she breathed a sigh of relief. Taking a deep breath to brace herself, she ascended, one slow step at a time. There was no backing out now.
* * *
“Maybe ye ought to wait until morning?” Finn suggested.
“No, I’ve waited too long already. I’ll see it done tonight.”
“Mrs. Brown might not take too kindly to you disrupting her evening.”
“She’ll be all right. It’s that Herbert Walker that might put up a fuss.”
Finn went silent.
“What’s wrong now?”
“What do you know of him?”
“Only what the Van Cleets’ have told me. Said he had a spark for Addy.”
“More than a spark,” Finn mumbled. “He doesn’t matter, what does is that you do this right.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll try not to fall on my face when I go down on one knee.”
Finn laughed, then turned to the bedroom door. He sucked in a breath, and began to chuckle.
“What is it now? Lorcan asked, impatient. Finn had been teasing him all evening that he looked like a love-sick sot.
“Lorcan me boy, I think ye better get down on that knee.”
“What? What are you taking about?”
“Yer bride is here … and she’s brought the preacher.”
Lorcan froze and listened. He heard nothing, but could smell the scent of lilacs wafting into the room.
