by JL Paul
Nate snorted. “I was sort of thinking that it was time for you to look after me.”
“Ha,” Cole laughed, his heart lighter. “I’m not taking care of you until you’re like seventy and in diapers.”
“Wow,” Nate said, his eyes large and registering astonishment. “You’d really change my diapers?”
“Not on your life,” Cole said, punching his dad’s arm. “I’ll hire a nurse. A young nurse in one of those short skirts.”
They both stood and Nate wrapped his arms around Cole, locking his son’s arms to his sides. “Yeah, trying to give me a heart attack?”
“Well, you know…there’s that inheritance issue,” Cole said, breaking out of his father’s hold.
“Would you guys like some pie?” Stacy called cautiously down the stairs.
Nate’s eyes grew. “Oh, hell. She’s probably dying to know if you approve of this wedding.”
Cole smiled, his eyes glittering. “Yeah, we’ll be right up…Mom,” he yelled. They both grinned as they heard her happily reply she’d get them each a plate.
Nate clapped him on the shoulder as they started for the stairs. “And you claim you have no way with women.”
“Hey, I never said I didn’t have a way with women,” Cole smirked smugly, rushing up the steps. “I just said I was lousy at having a girlfriend.”
***
He flopped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He held his phone in his hand and contemplated calling her. It was kind of late but she’d answer, he was sure. She’d always wanted to hear his news.
He closed his eyes as another memory swept through his mind.
“I can’t believe you’re actually going to live with your dad forever,” Ally exclaimed as they climbed the tree house in his backyard.
“Yeah, me either,” he told her excitedly. His heart still filled with guilt at the thought of his mother – especially during the happy moments he experienced with his dad.
They sat on the boards next to each other, backs leaning against the wall, totally comfortable in each other’s presence. “How come Alec didn’t follow us this time?”
Ally grinned, her eyes sparkling. “I told my mom we had something important to talk about and we didn’t need a seven year old tagging along.”
“Wow,” Cole exclaimed, scooting slightly away from her. “That was kind of mean.”
“Not really,” Ally argued, her brow furrowing at him. “I mean, do you really want him to hear everything?”
He shrugged. “I guess you’re right.”
“How is your mom?” Ally asked softly, lifting a hand to awkwardly pat his shoulder.
“Okay. She’s in rehab now.” He looked at her, uncertainty in his eyes. “I’m not sure what rehab is and I don’t want to ask my dad. I think he would tell me but I don’t think he likes to talk about it.”
“It’s a place people go to help them stop taking drugs and other things like that,” Ally told him solemnly.
Cole knew Ally was smart but he couldn’t believe she’d know something like that. “How do you know?”
“Because my mom told me my dad had to go there before they were married. He used to do drugs and he couldn’t stop.” She turned her head so he wouldn’t see her tears. It hurt her so terribly to hear that her daddy wasn’t perfect. He’d always told her and Alec never to touch that stuff and then she found out that he had to go away because he touched that stuff himself.
“I’m sorry, Al,” he told her. He wanted to hug her but he wasn’t sure if she would hit him or not so he patted her shoulder like she’d done to him.
“It’s okay,” she said, giving him a weak, watery smile. “He’s fine now, my mom says. He doesn’t do that anymore and he hasn’t for a very long time.”
“Maybe rehab will help my mom.”
“It will. But Cole, will you have to go live with her again when she gets better?”
“Not if I don’t want to,” he told her and her smile was so beautiful it touched his heart.
He smiled at the memory and dialed her cell phone.
“Yes, Cole,” she said with a yawn. As tired as her voice sounded, it still had a cutting edge to it.
“Dad and Stacy are getting married,” he told her quietly.
“Really?” she said, warmth leaking into her tone. “When?”
“Around Thanksgiving. He wanted to ask my approval first.”
“Awww,” she cooed. “That’s so sweet!”
“It’s not sweet, Al,” he said, rolling his eyes but smiling regardless. “It was cool, though.”
“Well I’m happy for them! It’s about time Nate settled down.”
“I agree,” he said, relieved Ally was finally speaking to him again. He hoped it was more than just a temporary thing. “He asked me to stand up for him. With Stacy’s daughter.”
“Oh,” she said slowly. “I’ve never met her daughter. What’s she like?”
“Hell I don’t know. I’ve never met her, either.” He grinned widely, egging her on. “Dad says Stacy might enroll her at Woodsedge Academy after the holidays.”
“How lovely,” Ally replied sarcastically.
“She is lovely,” Cole continued with a smirk, thoroughly enjoying himself. “I’ve seen pictures. Pretty hot,” he lied.
“That’s nice. Maybe she’ll let you…”
“But she’s not nearly as beautiful as you are,” he cut in purposely.
The line briefly went silent. “Oh, umm, thanks, I guess,” she stammered.
“Goodnight, Al,” he said. “Talk to you later.” He hung up quickly before she could respond.
***
He drove back to school alone, grateful for the chance to think. He replayed the conversation he’d had with his dad over and over in his mind.
Yes, it was true that he pretty much knew and remembered everything important to Ally and there was no way he could ever forget her birthday but that was just because he’d known her for so long. He knew just about everything about RJ and Jamie, too.
That reminded him of another good point. The four of them were friends; good friends. What if he and Ally tried the relationship thing and it didn’t work? Would it tear their whole group apart? Jamie and Ally were cousins - would Jamie take her side out of family loyalty?
He rubbed his forehead as he tried to concentrate on the road and his thoughts simultaneously. He knew that his friendship with the other guys was strong enough that if he and Ally did get together and then broke up, they’d find a way to make things work. Yeah, he’d had casual relationships before – ones he didn’t really take seriously - but Ally was the type of girl you gave everything to, including total respect. Was he prepared to do that?
“I already do,” he said aloud. “Just as she does for me.”
What if it does work, the other part of him asked. You know deep down that if it does, it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever had. And we’re not just talking sex here, my friend – even if you could ever think of her in that way without all the anxiety.
But it was never just about sex, he reasoned. He wasn’t the type to use a girl for something like that. His dad would skin him if he ever treated any girl that way – not that he would. And he couldn’t stand the thought of some guy regarding Ally as just another girl to brag to his buddies about. Ally was tough, sure, but she had feelings and was a truly warm person.
“So, what – I’m going to by the guy to….?” he asked aloud but couldn’t finish the question. He shivered. “And how did I get to this point?”
He knew how he got to that point – he truly had feelings for her and it absolutely killed him, wrenched his insides, to think of another guy touching her in any way.
He groaned. He was caving and he knew it.
“I’ll talk to the guys,” he said to himself. “Even though they really have no say in the matter, I’d like to take into consideration their opinions.”
With that settled, he turned on the radio and settled into the last half of the drive
.
Chapter Nine
Cole beat the others back to campus and paced his dorm room while waiting for RJ and Jamie to return. He was agitated, craved a smoke, and wished fervently that his friends would get back so he could unload.
An hour later, after nearly wearing a hole in the carpet, both boys came crashing into the room, laughing at some joke RJ had heard from his dad. The laughter died on their lips when they spotted Cole’s anxious face and nervous hands.
“Dude, what happened?” RJ asked, dropping his bag.
“You okay?” Jamie questioned moving forward and shutting the door.
“Don’t shut the door, man. We’re going out for a smoke,” Cole told them as he brushed past them, yanking his jacket off a peg near the door. “And yeah, everything’s fine. I just need to talk to you two.”
They shrugged at each other but followed him outside. They walked quietly to the Student Center and parked on the picnic tables just outside the doors. Cole lit up immediately.
“What’s up?” RJ asked, lighting his own cigarette. He couldn’t sit so he bounced on the balls of his feet instead.
Cole took a big drag and ran his hand through his hair. “It’s Ally.”
“What’s wrong with her?” Jamie asked anxiously.
“No, it’s nothing like that,” Cole reassured him, and then dropped his chin to his chest, pinching his cigarette between his fingers. “Oh, hell, I’m screwing this up.”
RJ looked at Jamie, knowing smirk flickering across his lips. Jamie returned it as they turned toward Cole’s anxious form. RJ rolled to his toes. “You two finally hooked up, huh?”
Cole’s head jerked up so fast, a twinge of pain shot through his nerves. His cigarette bobbled between his fingers as he poked a finger at his buddies. “Hang on. You two would be okay with it if Ally and I hooked up?”
Jamie shrugged, a thoughtful frown on his face. “It was bound to happen and let me tell you, if you two did finally hook up, it’d be a relief.” He took a cigarette from Cole’s pack and stuck it between his lips. “You can cut the tension between you two with a knife.”
Cole rubbed his temple, stood and began to pace. “Well, sorry to disappoint but we haven’t gotten together or anything.”
“But you want to, right?” RJ prodded.
“I don’t know. I mean, I do but what if it doesn’t work? What happens with all of us?” Cole asked as his pacing increased. He puffed on his cigarette, sucking on it as if it contained life, not harmful chemicals. He dropped it to the sidewalk and crushed it with his shoe.
“You mean who gets custody of me and RJ?” Jamie asked, valiantly fighting an amused grin. “Who cares, bro! So if it doesn’t work out, we’ll figure it out then. Why worry about that?”
“Something happened between you two last weekend in the hotel, didn’t it?” RJ asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. “That’s why she was so mad, right?”
Cole’s hands were trembling as he shook another cigarette out of his pack. “Not really. I mean, yeah, sort of. She kissed me, and…” he blushed a bit, grateful for the darkness so they couldn’t see the heat in his cheeks. “I did kiss her back. But I stopped it before it got out of control. She got pissed and when I tried to explain that I didn’t think a relationship between the two of us was a good idea, she got even angrier.”
“I’m pretty sure she’s liked you for a long time,” Jamie admitted. “She just didn’t tell anyone. But I could see it by the way she was acting.”
“Dude you told him she had a crush on Parker,” RJ reasoned.
Jamie sighed as he plopped on the bench of a picnic table. “Well, I think she did at one time. But anyway, why would I tell Cole that Ally had the hots for him? She is my cousin! And yeah, he’s my friend, I know. That’s why I just kept my mouth shut. I didn’t know what to do.”
“Okay, okay,” Cole interrupted as he started to pace again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You guys would be cool with it if Ally and I got together?”
“Why not?” RJ said, shrugging his shoulders.
“I don’t care, man,” Jamie agreed. “As long as you don’t make out with her in front of me.”
“We don’t have to give you the old ‘you hurt her you die’ speech we gave the last guy she went out with, do we?” RJ asked with a broad smile.
Cole barked out a short laugh. “Nah man because if ever do hurt her, you two better kill me.”
***
Ally walked into her room and prepared for the verbal assault she figured was coming from her cousin. Jeana’s silent treatment was beginning to grate on Ally’s already fragile nerves and she knew that Jeana was bound to burst sooner or later. No time like the present. And if Ally was being honest with herself, she’d admit she was itching for a fight.
“Hey, Ally,” Jeana called from her prone position on her bed as soon as Ally entered the room. She was flipping through the pages of one of her beloved fashion magazines. “Have a good weekend?”
“Yeah,” Ally said slowly. “It was nice.”
“How are Uncle Jay and Aunt Liz?” Jeana asked, her eyes still glued to her magazine.
“Good. They send their love.” Ally dropped her bag at her feet, stunned by Jeana’s lackadaisical attitude. She shrugged and heaved her bag to her bed and began to unload it, her mind suddenly sprinting out of the room and back to the past couple of weeks.
Jeana sat up on her bed and watched Ally unpack. “Look, I’m sorry I was so…mean…but you know how I am. Megan says I’m jealous because you’re closer to Jamie than you are to me.”
Ally dropped the armful of freshly laundered socks and sat down next to her cousin. “I don’t mean to be. I mean, I wish you and I had more in common.”
“I try to include you in things I do,” Jeana pointed out. “But you’re always hanging around with the boys.”
Ally gave her a wry smile. “I know. My dad says I’m a tomboy.”
“You are,” Jeana said with a grin. “But that doesn’t mean you and I can’t hang out sometimes, huh?”
“Okay, that’d be nice.” Ally gave her a quick hug. One of the many stones in the bottom of her stomach disappeared. “Sometimes it sucks when all your friends are boys and you don’t have a girl to confide in.”
“Oh, speaking of confiding,” Jeana said, eyes shining in excitement. “Did Cole tell you who he’s taking to the Fall Festival dance?”
Ally’s heart sank as hurt and betrayal reentered her system, stirring the pot of anger that constantly seemed to be boiling just under her skin. “No, he didn’t mention it.”
“Jennifer Mansfeld was telling anyone who’d listen that Cole invited her last week.” Jeana was beside herself with excitement. “I thought they broke up last year.”
“They did,” Ally said, getting to her feet. She bit her lip. “I wonder why he didn’t say anything all weekend.”
“Boys don’t talk about that stuff unless they’re asked about it,” Jeana said with a careless shrug. “I thought you of all people would know that.”
“Yeah, you have a point.” Ally grabbed a bunch of books off her desk and shoved them into her backpack. She needed to get out of the stuffy room and away from the prying eyes of her cousin. She needed a little space and a lot of quiet to get her thoughts and her feelings into some kind of order. She just couldn’t go on like this any longer. “Listen, I’m going to go to the library and finish my Chemistry homework. I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Sure,” Jeana said, her brow furrowed in confusion. “Um, was I supposed to say anything about Cole?”
“Oh, sure,” Ally said, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. She smiled at Jeana as she twisted the doorknob. “Like you said – he probably forgot. They never tell me who they’re taking on dates unless I ask. Don’t worry about it.”
She flashed another weak smile and fled the room before the pain could catch up to her.
***
Ally worked in the library all through dinner, stomach too twisted to even t
hink about food. Finally, one of the librarian assistants told her she’d have to clean up, the library was closing. Ally nodded and stowed her homework in her backpack. She put the books she’d used away and slowly made her way out of the door and into the dark.
She couldn’t believe Cole hadn’t told her he was taking Jennifer to the dance. It wasn’t that she expected him to take her, really, but she thought that maybe if the other boys didn’t have dates, they’d all hang out together. Maybe Jennifer was the reason why Cole so adamantly refused to be anything but a friend to Ally. Maybe he really was lying to protect her feelings. But how was he going to explain this? Didn’t he know it would hurt ten times more when she found out on her own? Or did he actually believe she’d never know?
She ignored the pain pinching her heart and shuffled her feet along the sidewalk past the very lively Student Center. She couldn’t believe people inside the Center were happy and having fun while she was totally falling apart.
Her heart, as well as her feet, stopped at the sight of three shadowy figures lounging on the picnic tables. She spotted the glow of a cigarette and didn’t need to guess who it was. She sighed and trudged on, knowing she’d have to face him sooner or later.
“Ally,” Jamie called out. “Where have you been?”
“Library,” she said as she plopped down next to him. She dropped her backpack between her feet. “I had Chemistry homework to finish.”
“You must be starving, Al,” Cole said, sitting up to face her. “We didn’t see you at dinner.”
“I’m fine.”
“Come on,” he said, checking his watch as he got to his feet. “I’ll take you to get something to eat.”
“I said I’m fine,” she told him firmly, her teeth grinding.
“What’s bugging you, Al?” he asked as he lowered himself back down to the picnic table.
“Nothing, now can we change the subject?” she said tersely.
“Sure,” RJ said tiredly from his side of the table. “What do you want to talk about?”
