“Grace, wait please…” Jacob urged.
Grace blamed Isaac for holding such a tight leash on Jacob. He clearly had no experience with girls while living in his world of books, and he was evidently not sociable either.
“Jacob, I don’t think your request is entirely appropriate. I’m thirteen years old for goodness sakes. I don’t know what I’ll want one day. Heck! I don’t know what I want for breakfast tomorrow,” Grace responded, trying not to sound too harsh with him, but she also felt the need to set him straight. She didn’t want him having any type of crush on her. The idea grossed her out completely.
“I’m sorry, Grace … I guess …” Jacob began to stutter. “You’re right. I mean you are our little sister,” he replied as if he was trying to console himself in some way from her harsh response or maybe rejection. “Please forgive me.”
“Of course.” Grace took a few steps back from him when she noticed Eisav out of the corner of her eye. He seemed to be approaching rather fast. He was known to have a hot temper, and she didn’t want him to get into it with his brother. She also didn’t want to face him yet because she hadn’t worked out her own emotions in her head. Unfortunately, time wasn’t on her side.
Eisav rode up on his bike, clearly out of breath, and immediately acknowledged Gracie’s defensive stance. His brother had placed his hand on her shoulder as Eisav was riding up, and he wanted an explanation before he knocked his lights out. Eisav had never been known to rein in his temper so without waiting for a response, he threw his bike abruptly to the ground and stomped over to Grace and Jacob.
“What’s going on?” He furrowed his dark brows while his voice barked, shooting Jacob an icy glare. Grace turned her head down to the pavement and kicked at some small rocks nervously. With no response from Jacob or Grace, he took a few more steps closing the distance between himself and his twin. “Don’t ever touch her again,” he snapped. It was a simple ‘Grace was his period’ kind of statement.
“That’s a little presumptuous of you, Brother, don’t you think?” A slow, sly smile curved on Jacobs lips. Eisav was used to Jacob’s goading. He had a hot switch and his brother loved pushing it.
“Don’t goad me, Brother. What the hell are you two doing out here this late at night anyway?” Eisav asked through ragged breaths. It was taking everything in him not to floor Jacob right now. If it weren’t for Grace’s close proximity, he would clock his brother for sure. His gaze drifted to Grace while he waited for a response, only she refused to look him in the eye. He knew something was terribly wrong.
“That’s none of your business,” Jacob responded coolly, clenching his jaw. “Who gave you the right to be territorial over Grace anyway? She’s a member of the family. I have every right to spend time with her.”
“Don’t push me, Brother.” Eisav lifted a finger close to his brother’s face. He was taller and built stronger.
Jacob didn’t back away from the warning. “What are you going to do, Eisav? Hit me? Father will come out here, and we know who’ll get into trouble,” Jacob chided with a condescending tone.
Grace wrapped her arms around her waist. Eisav knew that she hated to see them fight.
“Fuck you, Jacob. If I ever see you touch Grace again … I’ll destroy you myself,” Eisav warned with brutal honesty in his words.
Grace stood quietly off to the side.
Jacob lifted his palms in the air in surrender but then spread his fingers and twiddled them, showing he was not scared of Eisav. “I will not give into your primitive ways tonight. At least not in front of Grace. The girl simply deserves better,” Jacob said, gazing at Grace briefly with a soft smile before walking away. His smirk told Eisav that he felt like he had won this round. “Have a good evening, Grace,” Jacob muttered before pulling the door to the house open and disappearing inside.
Grace remained rooted in her spot. She was clearly expecting an explanation from Eisav. It irked him that she wouldn’t look at him. At thirteen, her auburn hair had grown thick and long in slight waves. She was tall and slender, her skin a pale, milky color, her eyes resembling the forest at night. He sensed the tumult in her glare and a sudden wave of nausea washed over him when he figured out why she wouldn’t look at him. He knew it was only a matter of time before she figured out where he had been running off. His demeanor softened. He felt terrible, even ashamed, but he was also a fifteen-year-old boy with raging hormones. Grace was simply not ready for certain things. She was too young, too pure. If he were being honest with himself, then he would have admitted the real reason he left most evenings was because he wanted something he couldn’t have.
Instead, he chose to fill his nights lip-locked with slutty girls whose names he couldn’t remember by morning. It seemed easier than spending valuable time with Grace while they sat next to each other, talking, playing cards, and singing in such close proximity that he just had to lean forward and take a taste of what he assumed would be the sweetest lips ever. There was only so much resolve he had, and so he worked out his frustrations during the week while spending weekends enjoying her company. He thought it was a win-win situation … until now.
“Gracie, talk to me please,” he spoke gently, taking a step toward her. Placing his hand under her chin, he tilted it up so he’d made eye contact with her. Grace instantly turned her head. “Speak to me. What’s wrong?” He hated this. He had dreaded the day she’d find out the truth. He knew that she knew the truth and yet the words were still too hard to breathe.
Her voice finally broke the silence. “Where were you tonight, Eisav? Or better yet where do you disappear every night after you say good night to me?” Grace asked, and he could tell by the waiver in her voice that she was shaking from the inside out.
Eisav’s brows drew together as a pained expression clouded his handsome features. “Gracie, I don’t know what to say.” Even though they never defined their feelings for one another, it was clear they loved each other as only children their age could. He didn’t know how to explain that he was older and wanted to experience things with girls. He was clearly not into courting as his parents had hoped. Anyway, their hope for him had depleted over the last few years when they finally began to understand they were not capable of changing their son—nor were they proud of the man he was becoming. He was no good for Grace. She was an angel, perfect. He had growing up to do, and so did she. His parents would never approve. He didn’t want to break her heart. A hundred reasons ran through his mind—all legitimate—reinforcing his decision to keep things platonic between them. Most importantly, she was also thirteen and nowhere ready for anything.
“Ida told me, Eisav. She told me you go to Des Moines to make out with girls,” she said bitterly as tears began to flow down her cheeks.
“Ida is right, Gracie. I’m fifteen. I want to have some fun, but those girls … none of them mean anything to me,” he explained, wishing she would just look at him already. Even a brief glare so she could understand that he only looked at her this way and those girls didn’t even hold a flame to her.
“I see. I’m too young,” she murmured. Eisav understood her insinuation that he should be kissing her. He took another step toward her and took her hand in his. The look on Grace’s face made him feel like she was a lost little girl and he was the only light guiding the dark pathway. “Where are we going? It’s freezing. We can’t go to the forest now,” she said through chattered teeth.
“I just want to move away from the house. I have a feeling that conniving brother of mine is watching through his window,” he explained, leading her away from the house toward the barn. At least inside there would be no wind. They walked quietly until they reached the barn, and he held the large wood door open for her to step inside. Her teeth chattered so he pulled her close to him, and this time she let him. “I’m sorry you’re cold,” he said, his own lips quivering as they touched her forehead. “Gracie, you know you’re special to me. You’re the most special girl in my life. I don’t want to do anything you aren�
��t ready for, and I sure as hell don’t want to break your heart or hurt you. I’m no good for you,” he spoke truthfully, brushing the words across her ear. He then guided her to a stack of hay and extended his hand for her to take a seat.
“I’m ready to kiss you,” she responded bravely, causing his eyes to go round. Her cheeks flushed.
Eyes half lidded and warm, Eisav gazed at her in the dark. The light of the moon shone through the window and cast a brightness over her pale skin, illuminating her eyes, which now seemed more aquamarine than dark forest green. He felt privileged that someone as good and pure as Grace wanted to give him her first kiss. That euphoric feeling didn’t last long before his parents dark words resonated in his mind: the black sheep. The black sheep was not good enough for this angel. The words branded his soul and made him believe with everything inside him that he was truly born that way. That is why he would never be good enough for her.
“Gracie, I can’t,” he began to say, but she abruptly stood up from the hay and turned away from him, clearly insulted. Hating the hurt in her eyes, he got up and walked over to her, spinning her around. He knew she was feeling rejected and that wasn’t his intent. She just didn’t give him a chance to explain. More than anything he realized that he never wanted to see that look of disappointment in her eyes again. He would do anything for the auburn-haired beauty in front of him. Anything. “Please. Not yet. Don’t pull away from me because I don’t think I would ever survive if you did. I need you in my life, but I need you as a friend. You make me believe that there’s some good in here …” He paused to put his palm over his heart. “Please, Grace. I’m begging you to be my friend for now.” His voice drifted off, and he felt like his throat was closing up on him. If he didn’t have Grace, he didn’t know what he would do with himself.
Gracie’s eyes began to swell. “Would you relax? I didn’t say I’m going anywhere,” she said, forcing a smile. Her arrival had saved him, so she knew how much he needed her. She’d witnessed his parents’ mistreatment of him. There was no way he was going to lose her.
Eisav let out along exhale and began to breathe again.
“Wait! I do have an ultimatum,” Gracie nodded, holding up her hand, her lips curved on one side, and a fire burning in her eyes. She pressed a palm to his chest, which held him back from hugging her. He loved that fire inside. She was shy and timid around others, but he brought out a fierceness in her that only he saw—another reason he was so drawn to her. He decided right then that she would be the end of him, and she was only thirteen.
“What is it, Gracie?” He rolled his eyes playfully.
“You need to promise to be my first kiss when I’m ready,” she affirmed with an assured nod. His stomach dipped because the thought of kissing her drove him wild. He mostly feared he would never be able to stop once he got a taste. He also knew that he would do anything she damn well wanted.
He finally replied, “I promise,” while gazing into her eyes. Now he would have to figure out how to get the idea out of his head for the next couple of years so they could continue to be friends who shared special moments together. Eisav wanted to make sure the bond they formed would never be broken; he wasn’t kidding when he told her he needed her like air. She was the only light in his dark world.
Grace turned around and did that little clicking thing with her fingers that she did when she wanted to memorize a moment in her mind. Eisav took her by the hand and led her back to the main house. At least the problem had been averted for tonight. He didn’t know how he would continue to leave for Des Moines now that she knew where he was going, but he also knew he needed to occupy himself with other girls because he couldn’t have her yet. He felt like crap because he wasn’t stronger, wishing he could focus on something else for the next two years while she grew up. Spending every evening together would only lead to trouble. He noticed the fire burning in her gaze when she looked at him. If he wouldn’t make a move, she would, and there was no way he was going to taint her that way but he wouldn’t say no to her either.
At the main house Eisav bid Grace good night. They had both lingered a little too long on their goodnights as their eyes dropped to each other’s lips. Eisav cleared his throat and pulled away. Grace was a forbidden fruit. He’d have to consciously remind himself of that from here on out because Grace was now aware of kissing.
Grace tiptoed quietly into the bedroom she shared with Marie. Luckily, she was sound asleep because Grace was not in the mood to answer questions of her whereabouts. Flopping down on her pillow, Grace let out an exasperated breath. Eisav was her oldest, bestest friend. She knew what he was thinking even if he didn’t. He thought he wasn’t good enough for her, and she hated he felt that way. She would have to make it her mission to make him feel good, make him feel worthy. Sade, Iowa had only been bearable because of him. He was the boy who wrote her poems and got her to speak when she was drowning in grief. He was so much more than his parents made him out to be. She was going to prove his worthiness, then she was going to make him live up to that promise.
Three years later
“Gracie, hurry.” Eisav’s voice carried its way up the stairs to her room where she was busy making herself pretty for school. “Gracie, we are going to be late,” Eisav continued to holler. She quickly grabbed her backpack off the floor and made her way down the stairs in a skirt that sat above her knees and a white button-down blouse.
“I’m ready, let’s go.” She smiled, walking past him through the kitchen where she picked up an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter on her way out the front door. Jacob was already in the pick-up truck, waiting with the motor running. Grace opened the front door of the pickup and slid into the middle seat. Not a moment later, Eisav got in beside her. She was now in her second year of high school. Dina had registered her to the Christian Academy along with Jacob. Eisav still went to the local high school down the street and to each of the Duncan children’s surprise, he still hadn’t attended Father Joseph’s New Age Church on Sundays either. Isaac had mentioned on numerous occasions that he would never send his children to the local public school because blasphemous behavior was encouraged there. Not only had Isaac rescinded his belief of the public school system where Eisav was concerned, but he also neglected to force Eisav to attend church with the rest of his children. Isaac’s mysterious behavior hadn’t gone unnoticed by the other children. They were just scared to voice their opinions which became especially difficult when Isaac stopped getting on Eisav’s case about pretty much everything.
“We’re always late because of you,” Jacob grumbled from the driver’s seat. He put the truck in drive. The old pickup made a rattling noise as they made their way closer to town. “I swear, one day this thing is going to conk out on us,” Jacob murmured while holding onto the vibrating steering wheel. Isaac liked to say the pickup was an antique, but it was just plain old.
“At least we don’t have to take the school bus,” Grace chimed in. The two brothers gave each other a sideward glance and a slow smile formed on both of their lips. They were seniors in high school. There was no way they would be caught dead on a school bus. Even studious Jacob had an image to uphold. He, too, wore the standard school uniform of white button-down shirt and dark slacks. He’d grown and filled out over the years and the white shirt hugged his chest and arms in all the right places. His dark slacks fit nicely over his muscular legs. He had joined the track team in school and had won some medals in competitions, definitely catching the attention of the girls at school.
A few minutes later Jacob pulled off to the side of the road in front of Eisav’s school.
“Later,” Eisav mumbled, sliding out the front door, he turned his head to glance at Grace with his mouth slightly curving to the side.
“Bye, see you later,” she called out, shifting over on the seat. Then his eyes darted to his brother. They’d darkened, becoming more serious. “Bye, Brother,” he muttered.
Jacob lifted his finger and gave the traditional Iowa wave
before Eisav shut the door and Jacob drove off. It was the same routine every morning when they dropped Eisav off at school; it seemed as if he was shooting his brother an unsaid warning.
Grace had caught on to that warning, but it only served to frustrate her because that promise of a kiss never came through. And it was for that reason she needed to make a plan.
If Grace had been pretty at eleven and beautiful at thirteen, she was now fifteen and a half and strikingly gorgeous. Her chestnut hair thickened and flowed down her back. She grew tall and slender and her breasts were full and plump. That wasn’t all. Her grass-green eyes contained a sparkle that spoke to the wildness in her heart, especially when those eyes landed on Eisav and caused the earth to tilt sideways as his heart burst from just her gaze. The thing that drew him to her the most was her kind heart, understanding, and fun personality. He always knew Grace was his undoing; it was just a matter of time before the prophecy came to fruition.
Despite his choice of school, Eisav was a good student. He excelled in math and science and took music classes where he learned to play guitar, which served him well because not only did the girls at school find him irresistible, but his music teacher encouraged his natural talent. Mr. Briars became his biggest supporter and second best advocate apart from Grace. With his support, Eisav worked hard honing his talent, playing at some local bars in Des Moines and neighboring towns.
Being a senior in high school meant he had his future to consider. Music was the only thing Eisav lived for, besides Grace. He knew he wanted a music career. He wanted to travel the world and put on shows. He just didn’t know how Grace would fit into that picture. She had become more than his best friend, though he never did deliver on his promise of a first kiss, but Grace never kept her promise either. She never told him how her mother died. Over the years he’d learned that Lena was a bookkeeper, that she loved to paint and had a studio set up in their apartment. She was a happy woman full of life, and most of all she was not a fan of Iowa. That simple piece of information was enough for Eisav to know that he would have liked Grace’s mother. His own mother was very secretive about why Grace’s mother left Iowa in the first place. Grace had tried to confront his mother about what Lena was like as a young girl, but his mother always provided short, curt answers. Eisav hated that she wasn’t more forthcoming. He’d guessed that maybe Grace’s mother wasn’t of the God-fearing type and therefore his mother wasn’t comfortable discussing her past.
Where Promises Die: A Second Chance Romance Page 4
