She was a fucking mess, and he knew he had to help her. “Ida, you’re coming home with me. I’m not leaving you. There are a lot of centers in LA. Trust me, I know. My band mates and friends have gone to get clean. I’m going to get you help and get you on your feet. You’re young and capable. You still have a chance of making yourself a life,” Eisav said, feeling burning hot conviction streaming through his blood. He was not going to take no for an answer this time. He had seen some bad things in LA. That would not be his sister’s end.
Ida moved over on the log and placed her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her, and she whispered softly, “Thank you.” Then she pulled up her head to look at him.
“Talk to me, Ida. I need answers. Why did father throw you out and not Grace? I’ve always wondered.” Eisav got right to the point.
Ida took another long, shaky drag off another cigarette she had lit and gazed at Eisav through the corner of her eye. “Father Joseph was evil, Eisav. It was a Sunday afternoon after church when Father Joseph asked me to stay behind and volunteer some hours to the church. I couldn’t say no because father was standing beside me, looking down at me all proud. I stayed to clean up after they left. When I was inside the church, Father Joseph came on to me but I fought him off. I actually kicked him in the face. He told me I was a stupid harlot and I would pay for my mistake. He said he knew about my boyfriend and the fact that I wasn’t a virgin and if I didn’t sleep with him, he would tell Father the truth about me,” she said, biting hard on her lower lip.
“Fucking hell.” Eisav flinched.
“I didn’t sleep with him. I went running out of the church, terrified. There were some people walking down the sidewalk, so I was sure he wouldn’t come after me. I walked home. It took me two hours to get there and when I finally came to confront Father about what happened, he was already seething. Father Joseph made it there before me. Of course, he didn’t mention he attacked me. He only told him that I was a no good tramp and that I should be banished from this house if he wants to find a place in Heaven. I remember him saying, ‘Ida, I have another three young ladies in this house. If I turn this place into a whorehouse, I will be doomed and I will lose my place in Heaven. Father Joseph thinks it’s best you leave and please do not return or contact anyone, or else I’ll have to take drastic measures.’ Then he followed me to my room and told me to pack a few things. He gave me a hundred dollars and told me to be on my way.” Ida paused to gauge Eisav’s reaction to her story.
“Fuck, Ida.” Eisav ran a rough hand over the stubble on his chin. He was seething but something else furled through him: regret, helplessness, sorrow. “Ida, I knew that Father Joseph had a hold on Father, but I didn’t realize it ran so deep.” Eisav let out a heavy breath. “Ida, I need to tell you something. I’ve never told anyone. Not even Grace.” Eisav paused. He hadn’t told Grace the truth because he thought it was better she remained in the dark for her own protection.
“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I never did understand how you got away with the things you did. Was it a double standard thing? I’m a girl and you’re a guy, so that behavior is acceptable?”
“Not exactly, but I’ll explain.” He shifted on the ground slightly and looked around to make sure there was no one around. Maybe the secret was insignificant at this point, but he had been holding onto it since he was fourteen years old. It was suddenly hard to talk about it, as if he feared his father wasn’t truly dead and would pop out of the forest with a rifle directed at his head. He let out a shaky breath. “When we were younger I used to sneak into father’s office to use his computer at night after everyone fell asleep. It was my gateway to the world, but I also stumbled upon files in his office. At first I didn’t know what it meant but after months and months of going through his things, I realized he was working for Father Joseph. He was re-writing wills for some of the town folk, and in each of those wills they were leaving their land and money to Father Joseph.”
“I’ve only been back a couple of days, but Greta and Marie mentioned that Father had been investigated. You know how this family is hush-hush about every little thing. I’m thinking father had been in trouble with the law. Greta said something about him being too sick to go to prison so he was in a hospital.”
“Well, that makes sense. I’m pretty sure Father Joseph gave him a cut from the wills because I also looked into father’s bank accounts and he had lots of money in there.”
“Really? He always made it seem like he was far from rich. He always used to complain that being a city attorney didn’t amount to much money in this small town,” Ida retorted.
“Exactly, so I confronted him one day. It was the summer before high school. I told him that I knew what he and Father Joseph were up to. Then I blackmailed him into letting me go to the local public school and told him to look the other way when I went out.” Eisav let out a breath. Now that he thought about it, he was surprised his father didn’t try to shoot him sooner. “I guess he was determined to make more money, so he let things slide.”
“I always knew you were tough, but shit you took a big chance,” Ida replied with wide eyes.
“I was a kid, Ida, and I wanted the old man off my back. I didn’t really understand what it all meant. I knew Father Joseph was a fraud, but I also understood that he had Father hypnotized by his charm. I never understood it, but it seemed like Father needed those blessings like he needed air. Maybe he had some dark demons inside him or something,” Eisav shrugged. He never truly understood how his father had been so taken by a man like Father Joseph.
Ida laughed as if she knew something that Eisav didn’t.
“What is it?” He furrowed his brows. “You know something I don’t,” Eisav said and it wasn’t a question. The look on Ida’s face told him she had answers.
“Has Mother talked to you since you’ve been back? Do you know the truth?”
Eisav figured she was talking about Grace and Jacob. “You mean how my evil brother managed to steal the love of my life?” Eisav answered, showing Ida he had put two and two together.
“No. Eisav, I mean about your paternity and …”
Eisav’s brows drew together. The sound of footsteps along the leaves pulled his attention away from Ida. He swiveled his head around to see his mother standing behind him.
“Ida, can you please go back to the main house,” Dina asked, but it was more like an order.
Eisav shot up from the bark, “Mother, do you know where my sister has been? Do you know what has happened to her because of the fucked-up ways of this family? What the fuck do you have to say for yourself?” His voice was loud and angry. “And what the hell is she saying about my paternity?”
Ida began to back away from her mother and brother. Dina looked at him through tear-filled eyes. Eisav looked at his mother, a woman who hurt her children in unforgiveable ways. Sorry was not enough, if that was why she was there.
“Ida, don’t go,” Eisav ordered. “Where the hell are you sending her on her own?” Eisav turned his attention back to his mother with vehemence. “She needs help, a lot of it. She shouldn’t be left alone.”
Ida returned to the fallen tree with her head bowed.
“It doesn’t matter to me. Your sister already knows the truth,” Dina replied with a shaky voice. The dark shawl hanging over her small frame made her look old and weak. His mother took a seat beside her daughter on the log and patted the other side of her for Eisav to sit. “Sit, Eisav.”
He took the seat beside her. She clearly had something important to say. At this point in his life, he questioned the need to know any truths she may deliver. He made a life without his family for so long he wondered why it mattered now, questioning his reasons for staying. There was only one answer that came to mind: Grace. It always came down to her. He wasn’t leaving until he understood what the hell happened to her and why she was engaged to his brother. She had never considered him more than a friend. Deep down Eisav knew this. He also realized that no
t only did his family turn their backs on him, but he had turned his back as well. He should have found a way around his father. He’d ached for Grace all these years. The separation had been agony.
“You have my attention, Mother.” He let out a long breath, knowing he was in for some hard news.
“Eisav,” she began, contemplating her words. Eisav was hotheaded so she seemed to take her time choosing her words carefully. “Your father and I were not always so religious. My family was poor, and your father was handsome and he was getting an education … My parents told me it was a good thing to get married. I was barely eighteen. I had other ideas about life, but your father promised to help my parents. I couldn’t resist his offer. I married him and got pregnant almost immediately. The girls are only two years apart. I was still dealing with diapers, when I found out I was pregnant again,” she paused, looking between her two children warily.
Eisav wondered where this story was going.
“I was a mess. I had no help caring for the girls. Your father was finishing law school. His parents were already older and still living with us. Your grandmother didn’t like me much. I was having a hard time. I think I may have been suffering from post-partum depression, and I didn’t have the knowledge to know what it was or how to deal with it. Eventually your father finished school and opened an office as the city attorney. He barely had time for any of us. I tried to play the role of the good housewife, but when he came home from work the only thing I wanted to do was get out of the house for some air. After three pregnancies, I needed breathing room, so I went to Des Moines, where I hung out with my old friends. We went to bars and drank … that kind of thing.”
Ida’s gaze landed on Eisav and a knowing look crossed between them. Their mother had been no different than they were. Where they had thought their parents to be very religious, it simply wasn’t the case. Their life was a façade. Eisav partially knew this.
“I know what you kids are thinking …” She cackled. “And it’s true.”
Eisav remained silent so she would continue and get to the point. The story made him more irate.
“While I was out, I hadn’t realized my best friend Lena had become close with your father. When I would meet up with friends in town, Lena would say she was staying in to study or that she had other plans. I never realized she took my information of being out for the night as an invitation to visit my husband. They began a long-term affair and I had no clue.”
Eisav felt his heart stop with those words. “What the hell are you saying? Grace is Father’s daughter.” He rose from the fallen tree, stalking a few feet away from his mother and sister. His hands were now holding his head as if he was going to lose it. Grace couldn’t be his sister. What the fucking hell?
“Relax, Eisav. Let me get to the point,” his mother answered. “Yes, Grace is your father’s daughter, but no Eisav, you’re not his son so Grace is not your sister,” Dina explained, speaking swiftly so her son wouldn’t have the chance to lose his temper.
Eisav let out a quick breath even though he was more confused than ever. “Like I said, your father and Lena had a long-winded affair. I found out, but I never confronted them and so the affair continued. Meanwhile, I was having an affair with a man from Des Moines. A singer Eisav. His band played at the Dirty Dog every Thursday night,” she explained with a knowing tone, making Eisav realize his mother had known where he had snuck off to all those times.
Eisav had played at the Dirty Dog while he was still in high school and wondered who the hell his father was. He felt his palms sweat as more questions crossed his mind. Yet he kept his mouth shut so his mother would get the damn story out. He was so on edge he felt like he was going to really lose it.
“I got pregnant with twins. I knew I had to come clean about my own transgressions, so I confronted your father about his. At that point he hadn’t touched me in over a year. When I told him about my pregnancy he broke down and cried, said we strayed so far from ourselves, from our family. We still had three girls to raise and your father wanted to do better. Father Joseph was new to town at that point. He had come to your father’s office to introduce himself and offer his services. Your father had been a regular at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church from the days he went with his grandfather, but he came home and recommended that we switch to Father Joseph’s New Age Church since he promised to put us on a new path. ‘A stricter, truer Christian path’ were his exact words. He promised to save our family from falling apart. Isaac became obsessed with the idea,” she explained, shaking her head back and forth. “Then when you twins were born, and upon Father Joseph’s recommendation, we called you Jacob and Eisav.” His mother paused and lifted her eyes to Eisav. She had been staring at the ground until now. Eisav assumed it was because she felt shame of her past indiscretions. “Eisav…” she lifted a hand and touched his cheek “…I didn’t know Father Joseph wasn’t a real priest.”
“Yeah, I got that part,” he mumbled angrily.
“Father Joseph made up his own rules, found followers … young couples, like your father and me, who were struggling, sometimes financially, sometimes emotionally … everyone in the so called church had problems, and Father Joseph provided answers. It was only years later I realized he wasn’t a real priest. He had set up a church and made himself out to look like a priest and in this small town… I guess we followed, we listened, no questions asked. We didn’t realize his goal was taking our money. I only found out the truth once Isaac was diagnosed with cancer. Somehow Father Joseph coerced your father into helping him with his cause,” his mother explained, clearly trying to brush over his father’s role.
“You mean Father was in on the scheme,” Eisav clarified for her.
She cleared her throat. “Yes, but I truly believe your father did it because he believed that Father Joseph had some sort of superpower. As the years passed, your father had grown fearful of going to Hell for all his sins. Father Joseph preyed on that insecurity and got your father to do things he normally would have never done.” His mother was still trying to stand up for Isaac and it made Eisav sick.
Eisav had questioned himself on this matter so many times. He had been a young boy who felt powerless. If he would have gone to the police and told them what his father was up to, then his family would have fallen apart. For better or worse they were the only family he had known and as much as he had disliked Isaac for always putting him down, there was a need deep inside him to gain his father’s acceptance. Now looking back on it, he realized that his whole life had been a sham. He also figured that Father Joseph probably sought Isaac out because he was the city attorney and would need his services. In a way the whole Duncan family had fallen victim to a very evil man. He put those thoughts aside because he needed to know more about his parent’s relationship and Grace.
“Okay! Mother, you said you and father reconciled and became more religious,” Eisav repeated, hoping to get her back on track while Ida sat quietly beside them lighting another cigarette. She clearly didn’t care anymore if her mother saw her with a cigarette in hand, and his mother didn’t even bat an eye. He figured his mother already knew about the cigarettes. It wasn’t hard to figure out. Ida had the strong stench of nicotine on her.
“Yes, we reconciled. Your father became more supportive of me. He stayed home more and helped out with the girls. He hired farm help to care for the chickens and horses. I thought everything was going well until your grandfather died and your father pulled away from me again. I wanted to believe he was living the honest Christian path Father Joseph set for us. I truly did. I need you to believe that. I stopped going to Des Moines. I dedicated my life to all you children. Your father’s law practice was doing well and the hired help on the farm made a huge difference in my life. I was thankful to Father Joseph for getting our family back on track. I didn’t realize that he was a fraud. I didn’t realize he had gotten your father tangled in his web of lies. He had his hooks in so deep, your father hung on his every word. Especially about di
sciplining you when you were younger. You were just so very different from Isaac. He hated that about you. It was a constant reminder that you weren’t his son. Jacob was not his by blood, but he had been more accepting of him because Jacob looked up to Isaac. He wanted to be exactly like him. I knew where your talent of singing and writing songs had come from. Isaac knew that too. It irked him to no end that you couldn’t try to be more like him, so he became harsh with you and like a stupid woman, I stood by and watched him try to change you.” His mother’s voice cracked on her last words. “That was our life. When your father became sick, the truth came out. The police investigated. There was supposed to be a trial, but he was too ill.”
“So he never paid for his sins?” Eisav asked incredulously. Ida glared at him with warning, and Eisav understood that she didn’t want him to tell his mother about Father Joseph almost raping her. Was she ashamed? She shouldn’t have been. She was the victim. Eisav kept his mouth shut and changed the subject.
“What about Marie?” Eisav asked.
His mother’s brows dipped, causing a crease in the middle of her forehead. “What about Marie? She had no clue about anything. She only found out when Father Joseph came under investigation,” his mother explained. Eisav wondered if Father Joseph had tried to hurt Marie or Grace, but clearly his mother didn’t have a clue. The thought made him physically sick.
Ida now looked at her brother and her lip curved up on one side, “Eisav, Marie never fit into the mold set out by Father Joseph. She’s a lesbian.” She giggled.
Eisav burst into a fit of laughter, holding his stomach.
His mother was not amused. “Ida, don’t be ridiculous.” She huffed, shaking her head back and forth, pinching her lips together. Ida decided to drop it. Dina clearly allowed the words to enter one ear and exit the other.
Where Promises Die: A Second Chance Romance Page 12
