Grace entered the kitchen quietly and took in Eisav’s defeated stance. “Good morning,” she said quietly, her voice hesitant. “Is everything okay?”
“No.” He swiped a hand over his chin. His stubble was already growing back in. “Ida isn’t doing well. She’s a bloody mess.”
She dropped into the seat beside him. “Oh no.”
“I’m having her escorted to a rehab center in LA. I’m so fucking worried about her.” He let out a long breath then looked up to the ceiling. “She was sent out on her own at such a young age …” Eisav’s massaged his temples with his fingers.
“You can’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault. It was my father, Eisav. This is all on him. It was his responsibility to raise her, and he failed. He threw her out, not you. You were only a kid when she left,” Grace tried to reassure him. She didn’t understand his guilt. What if he would have gone to the police sooner? He was an immature boy who ridiculously blackmailed his father. He should have found a way to stop everything from spiraling out of control. Grace’s lips pursed together, and she looked deep in thought.
“I need to tell you something, Grace. It’s somewhat of a secret, although not anymore. I need you to know though, because even though we aren’t together, I don’t want there to be secrets between us,” Eisav explained, and Grace swallowed hard.
“Tell me, whatever it is … I want to know,” she answered, shivering.
“Okay, I knew my father was involved with Father Joseph. I caught on to his illegal dealings with him and I used it to blackmail Isaac into looking the other way where I was concerned,” Eisav explained then held his breath.
Grace slid down her chair a bit and let out a long breath, her green eyes round. “Uh okay … I wasn’t expecting that. I mean I was always curious how you got away with things around here when the rest of us didn’t, but I would have never guessed that.” She paused and began to contemplate. Eisav leaned forward nervously as the weight of his words sank in. “You were always fearless weren’t you. That was risky what you did …”
“Grace, I now feel responsible for all the bad things that happened to you, to Ida. I knew Father Joseph wasn’t a good man. I understood he was a thief, but I never pegged him as a molester. Had I gone to the police earlier, I could have saved all of us a lot of trouble,” Eisav said, laying it out straight for her. He knew that if he wanted her back, then telling her his secret had to be done.
“You don’t know that for sure. I mean yes, Isaac would have gone to jail along with Father Joseph, but you’ll never know how things would have played out,” Grace admitted with a wince.
“Can you enlighten me, because I’m feeling very guilty,” Eisav admitted.
“For one, I think my father became detached from reality at one point. I think if he knew he was facing jail time, he would have gone crazy. What if he turned around and shot us all?” Grace said with utmost sincerity. Her eyes were a little swollen. Eisav knew how she felt about guns.
“That’s a little severe,” he replied.
“Is it, Eisav? I stood there and watched him shove a rifle down your throat. I was sure he was going to pull it.” She rubbed nervously at the skin by her throat.
Eisav frowned. “I know. I thought he would too.”
A tear fell down Grace’s cheek, “I don’t think you should feel guilty. You were an immature boy. What did you know about the law and going to the police? If you would be telling me now that it was Dina who knew, that would be a different story, but let’s be honest … that woman isn’t defending anyone but herself,” Grace said bitterly. She shook her head, “I appreciate your honesty, but I don’t think anything was your fault. I’m just happy he didn’t actually kill you for the stunt you pulled.”
Eisav gave her a lopsided grin. “Well, I guess he trusted me enough not to tell his secret. My downfall was laying a hand on his daughter. I would have never have guessed that that would be it.”
“Me neither.” She sighed with a far off look. “Maybe I should have found a way to find you sooner. Yeah, I had my own issues here, but maybe if I would’ve found a way things wouldn’t be such a mess now.”
“We were in an impossible situation. I don’t want you doubting yourself. I know you’ve been through a lot, but you survived and I’m grateful.” He nodded.
Grace closed her eyes and opened them. She was about to extend her hand but then pulled it back. “Ida will be okay. I’m sure of it. I remember what it’s like to be cared for by you. Do you remember when you got me to speak?” She let out a huff. “I was so traumatized back then.”
Eisav’s glare warmed. “Of course I remember. I remember everything …” He paused and pulled a note out of his jean pocket. This was his plan. He was going to remind Grace of all their promises, and then he was going to make each promise come true. He slipped the note in the front pocket of her blue jeans.
Grace’s brow lifted. “What are you doing? Did you just slip something in my pocket?” she asked a little frazzled.
“A note.” Eisav shrugged.
“Why?” Grace reached into her pocket and pulled out the small folded paper. She began to unfold it slowly while eyeing Eisav curiously.
Promise #1
I promise to be patient.
Grace’s dark brows furrowed and her jade eyes assessed him. “What does this mean?” she asked, holding the paper in the air.
“That’s the first promise I made you.” He smiled sadly.
“And why are you giving it to me now?”
“Because I plan to make all our promises come true. I’m glad we spoke, because now even I understand our circumstances a little better. You may blame me for leaving you behind and not returning, but you also need to understand that a lot of what happened was out of my control. If you must know that agent did get back to me when I went to try out senior year. He wanted to sign me and I said no. I know this explanation is three years late and may anger you more, but the reason I’m telling you isn’t to show you I didn’t consult with you but to show you that you were always my number one priority. You always came first, not my music. And so when he offered me the contract it was obvious to reject it because you couldn’t come with me, and I’m nothing without you.”
Grace’s eyes began to swell as she shook her head back and forth. She had heard his every word and she wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t control the hurt or feeling of abandonment. Deep down the rational part of her knew he was not at fault. She knew she couldn’t truly blame Eisav, but the irrational side of her had been through too much without him. Deep down if she were being honest, she felt like he could have tried harder to come back for her. He didn’t. “I know where you’re going with this, Eisav, and I appreciate the effort, I do.” She paused.
“But?” He pursed his lips.
She frowned. “Too much has happened. I’ve been through too much. We were part of another life. Now we need to make a new life—apart from one another.”
Her last word ripped his heart open. “I won’t take no for an answer. I’ll prove my patience to you … I’ll prove you wrong. We were always meant to be together forever.” With his last word, he stalked off just as his brother was entering the kitchen. His brother didn’t acknowledge him and that was okay too. Sadly, the rift between them had been drawn in childhood and nothing was going to change that.
Eisav went upstairs to check on Ida and watched as Ilana packed up her things. Ida sat on the bed, fidgeting relentlessly. Marie also jumped in and was helping too. Since Ida was in good hands, he went back downstairs and left out the front door to his forest. The only place on earth where he had once felt at peace. The sun was shining bright, and he felt the warm heat on his back. Checking his cell phone, he decided he had time for a quick jump in the pond. He knew it would be damn cold this time of year, but he was willing to take the risk. Sometimes he did risky things when he was searching for inspiration when it came to his music. Now he was searching for an answer to bring Grace back to him.
Once he was dressed, he went back toward the house. He knew everyone would be leaving for the viewing soon, and he didn’t want to be the odd one out. As he approached the door, he saw his mother first, her lips pressed tightly together in a frown. Some things never really changed. Couldn’t the damn woman crack a smile once in a while when she saw him? He was a grown man. He could do what he wanted. She didn’t fucking have to look down on him for every little thing. In that moment he realized how fucked-up she really was and he vowed not to let it bring him down anymore. He had spent too many childhood moments with a sinking feeling in his gut because his mother didn’t understand him or approve of his decisions. As he approached her, he thought, Fuck this, I don’t care anymore. It was uplifting and freeing.
“Eisav,” his mother greeted him in acknowledgement.
“Mother,” he responded coolly.
“We’re about to leave,” she snarled. Her real question was probably: Why do you look scruffy, like you just jumped into that dirty water at the edge of the land?
Jacob and Grace stood behind her quietly.
“I’ll take a shower and cab it over.” He nodded walking past them. He heard his mother huff and murmur some obscenities under her breath. Typical. He repeated in his head, I don’t fucking care.
By the time he made it up the stairs, Ilana quickly debriefed him that Chris was arriving in two hours and that Ida was all set to go. “I’m going to stay here and see Ida off so that Marie can go to the viewing,” she explained with an attempt at nonchalance. There had been something brewing between Ilana and Marie from the moment she walked into the main house.
Eisav didn’t miss the flush in Marie’s cheeks and connected it to Ilana’s feelings for Marie. He was glad Marie was finally able to find a good person to care for her, and he was happy for Ilana too. He gave her a quick peck on the forehead.
“Thanks, babe. I need to go shower and head to the funeral home.” He stalked off to his room.
Marie caught him in the hall and shouted, “Hey, who you calling babe?” she asked with a serious mock tone.
“Ilana’s my babe,” Eisav guffawed.
Marie moved in closer and wrapped an arm around Ilana’s waist. It was a bold move and something she would have never done before her father’s death. “She’s mine now.” Marie winked at her brother, like a little girl who was allowed to indulge in the candy jar for the first time in her life.
Eisav beamed. “I see Ilana taught you the basics. Good. Now leave me out of it. I need to take a shower.”
Eisav arrived at the viewing with Marie approximately thirty minutes after his mother left with Grace and Jacob. Like the day before, the family lined up to welcome the guests. He gave his sister Greta a kiss and asked if her kids had come today.
“Honestly, Dave isn’t too keen about them seeing a dead body, and I kind of feel the same way.” She shrugged.
“Yeah, I hear ya. Does that mean you’ll have me over then? Soon?” He didn’t want to be pushy, but he also found Greta’s change of heart somewhat suspicious. She had been so gung ho about him meeting her kids that first day at the door.
“Of course, Little Brother. You’re always welcome. I wasn’t kidding when I said I told the kids stories about you. They want to spend time with you. How long are you in town?”
Eisav turned his head to the side and gazed at Grace for a moment before answering, “For now … indefinitely.”
Greta’s eyes turned round. “That’s amazing.” She also gave Grace an awkward sidelong glance. Grace acted oblivious to the whole conversation.
Eisav stood in line, squeezing himself between Greta and Grace. He noticed the irritated look on his brother’s face when he did so. He reached into the front pocket of his dark worn in jeans and pulled out another note, discreetly slipping it in the side pocket of the black skirt she was wearing.
Jacob immediately noticed the movement and lunged forward, grabbing Eisav’s hand. “What are you doing, Brother?” He gritted his teeth.
“Let go of my damn hand, Jacob,” Eisav warned. He was in no mood for Jacob’s shit. Besides he was bigger and built stronger than he was. He could take him out quickly.
“Boys,” their mother cut in with a demanding whisper. “Not here. Have respect.”
Jacob’s nostrils flared as he took in a few long breathes. Then he released Eisav’s hand. “I’ll deal with you later.”
Grace took off toward the back of the funeral home. It looked like she was heading to the ladies’ room. Eisav managed to slip the letter to her before Jacob stopped him. He only hoped that Grace had stalked off to read his letter.
Promise #2
I promise to always discuss things with you first.
Believe me when I tell you that it was not my choice to leave. It if were up to me, I would have never left when I was forced out of here. My plan had always been to wait until you finished high school and then we would leave together. I’m here now and willing to discuss anything you want. I am also patient (promise #1). I just want you, Gracie. I want us back and if you’re being honest with yourself, maybe there are things you need to say to me too. Maybe clear the air so we can move forward. Promise me that we can move forward!
As Grace read the letter, her hands trembled. Her resolve was breaking down. Eisav was right. They had things to discuss. Important things she needed to get off her chest. She just didn’t feel right speaking to him in private or being near him at all. It wasn’t fair to Jacob because her body immediately heated around Eisav. When he looked in her eyes, it sparked a need inside her that had been dormant too long. It made her feel like she was betraying her fiancé. It was that realization that forced her to distance herself from Eisav. She quickly glanced in the mirror and fixed her hair. She noticed tears in her eyes she hadn’t realized she’d shed. She took a tissue and dabbed lightly at her eyes. Her hands were still shaky, and she knew she had to get herself together. She drew in a slow breath and let it out even slower, needing to calm herself. She waited so long for Eisav’s return. His timing was ironic since she had only recently tried to move on with her life. She left the washroom knowing there was only one thing she could do in this predicament. Then she went back upstairs.
It was already late afternoon when the Duncans returned to the farm. Dina went straight for her usual chair in the living room. She felt as if her life wasn’t real. She wasn’t only mourning a man she had spent close to thirty years of her life with, she was also morning her poor choices and the fact that her own children hated her. The only thing that provided some solace was the fact that they were all here together and they seemed to be getting along. Well, except for Eisav and Jacob. That situation was a ticking time bomb. She only hoped at the end of it all, her twin boys wouldn’t turn their back on one another.
Her old friend Stella arrived with her other friend Kathy. They both came bearing fresh casseroles. Dina wasn’t amiss to the fact that their husbands hadn’t shown up for the viewing or to visit the house. Isaac was a falle
n hero. He had strived for something better in his life. He had wanted to do good, but he also had his weaknesses: women and money. Somehow that damn Father Joseph had preyed on those weaknesses and got Isaac to commit fraud. Maybe after all of his worry about Hell it was exactly where he was rotting. She never did understand how he threw Ida out of the house, or Eisav for that matter, considering he had not been an angel himself. She knew she was to blame for supporting his craziness and after everything she had closed her eyes to, there wasn’t a cent in the bank. The authorities had seized all the profits from the fraud he committed.
Dina looked around the living room, relieved that Eisav and Jacob remained on opposite ends. Although, the apparent tension radiated across the space. She took in Jacob’s demeanor, thinking he resembled a fire-breathing dragon as he stood in the corner of the living room, huffing away to himself while being antisocial. She thought it was a good idea that Grace had offered to watch the children so Dave could spend some time with Greta. Dave was a traditional man, but he was a good husband to Greta and a good father to his children. The thought alone made her feel at peace. At least one of her children was happy. At least not everything was shot to hell. It still made her feel like a failure as a mother.
Her gaze landed on Eisav. He’d definitely grown up. She liked the man he had become. He wasn’t taking shit from anyone, and she overheard how he was looking out for Ida. She appreciated his help because, honestly, she had no clue what to do with a drug addict nor did she have the emotional or financial means to help. Again, a reminder of how useless she truly was.
Where Promises Die: A Second Chance Romance Page 17
