Love for the Holidays (five book Christmas bundle)

by Noelle Adams

  “Where did you learn to cook like that?” She set her fork and knife on her empty plate and turned toward Kyle. “That was amazing.”

  “Took lessons, watched the Food Network, practiced a lot.” He shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”

  “Uh, yes, it is. I live on takeout and leftovers brought in by my secretary. I wish I could cook like this. Where did you take lessons? I need to look into something like that.”

  “It was something through the city recreation catalogue.” That Crystal had signed them up for. “I’m sure there would be a lot of options in Chicago.”

  Laney tilted her head to the side, as if she was trying to figure something out. “Ohhhhh. I get it. You took them with a girl.” She nodded, like that made sense, which he didn’t understand. Why wouldn’t he take cooking classes on his own? “You’ve never liked the city rec programs. You always said they were—”

  “—social, not educational. I can’t believe you remember.” That went back to his coaching days. He’d said the same thing to Crystal, but she just wanted to do something ‘couple-y’, she didn’t care about how in-depth the course might be. “I was a bit harsh. It wasn’t a bad class.”

  “I’ll say, if it taught you how to cook like that. So, who did you go with? The ex?”

  He shifted on his seat. “Yes, with Crystal.”

  “Awww, cute.”

  Kyle didn’t like the edge to Laney’s voice. He nudged her with his foot and nodded toward the sink. “Stick the plates over there, I’ll get dessert out.”

  “You don’t want to talk about her.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You do?”

  “Sure. We’re friends, right? Friends can talk about anything.”

  He barked out a laugh. “Okay. Let’s talk about your last boyfriend.”

  She pretended not to hear him as she started to rinse off the dinner plates. He stalked over and placed his hands against the counter on either side of her, trapping her next to the sink. He flicked off the tap and nudged his head against hers.

  “I thought you wanted tonight to be honest.” Laney’s voice was quiet, but the hurt rang loud and clear.

  “There’s honest and then there’s too much. Getting into twelve years of sexual history falls into the latter category. “

  “I don’t want to know about your sex life,” she whispered. “I just…we didn’t do anything like that. Couple stuff. I’ve never done that, with anyone. I’m curious.”

  “I’m not a great example of relationship success.” That was an understatement. He didn’t know how they’d ended up on this topic, and he couldn’t see a way to navigate past it. Every muscle in his body was taut with tension, and he felt like a fight was just around the corner.

  “Humour me.” She pressed against him, making a pocket of space in which to turn, and then she was sliding her hands under his shirt. “Let’s go sit by the fire and talk.”

  “I have a better idea. Let’s go lie down by the fire, and I’ll convince you that talking is overrated.”

  “That’s been my line, hasn’t it?” She laughed and twisted away from him, swaying her hips in the process. He groaned, wanting to grab those hips and slide her beneath him, kiss her until they both forgot how much was still left unsaid between them. He felt restless, like a boxer before a match, and he followed her, wondering if that feeling of discordance maybe couldn’t be separated from the passion sparking between them. That this fling was actually makeup sex, delayed a decade.

  Laney knelt on the rug and pulled off her top. He stood in front of her, taking in the glorious sight in front of him. Her blonde hair flowed loose down her back in gentle waves, cascading over the delicate curve of her shoulders. She wore a black pushup bra, her pale skin glowing in stark contrast despite the dim light in the room. She looked up at him with a gentle smile, but there was a faint tremble to her bottom lip. He stroked her cheek, and she rubbed her face back against his hand.

  “Come down here,” she whispered, tugging on his hand.

  He pulled off his own shirt and joined her, pressing their bare torsos together, warming her on both sides as he dragged his hands up and down her spine. He dipped his head to capture her mouth and she pulled away. “Not yet. Let’s talk.”

  Kyle groaned and ground his pelvis against her. “Feel that? He doesn’t want to talk.”

  She grinned. “We have all night, remember?”

  That earned her another groan, and he tucked his thumbs inside the waistband of her jeans. “Then why did we start to get naked?”

  She tilted her head to the side and blinked as if just thinking about that question for the first time. “It seemed like a good idea. Like taking off armor. Plus I like it when you touch my breasts.”

  He stroked his thumbs around her hips, sending a shiver across her tummy, and then swept his hands north, mimicking the shape of her bra, his fingertips stroking the bare skin swelling over top of the cups. “Mmmm. I like that too.”

  “So you keep doing that, and let’s talk.”

  “About what? It’s a challenge to think when you’re this close to me.”

  “I want to have healthy relationships.”

  “Do I look like Dr. Phil?” He slipped one bra strap off her shoulder, then the other. He left a trail of little kisses across her collarbone as he reached around behind her to do away with the undergarment completely. She gave a hitching little sigh when he sat back on his heels and pulled her up to straddle his lap. “Do you think I’m going to help you figure out how best to date other guys?” He thrust his hips hard against her and strummed across her nipples with his thumbs.

  She swallowed hard. Two pink spots decorated her porcelain cheeks and her eyes dilated wide. “Why wouldn’t you?” she gasped, arching her breasts toward his mouth.

  He growled and flipped her over, his body pressing between her legs. He reached between them and undid the button of her jeans. “That’s a good question,” he said, sliding the zipper open. “Why don’t you answer it while I make you come.”

  She gasped and pushed on Kyle’s shoulders, wriggling out from underneath him. She held out a hand, as if to stop him from advancing again. “Wait,” she panted. “Just … stop for a second. This feels angry. Why does this feel angry?”

  Kyle pushed himself to a stand and exhaled hard. “Fuck,” he hissed. “Dammit, I’m sorry, Laney. Here, come here.” He pulled her up to join him. He grabbed a throw blanket from the chair and wrapped it around her. He stalked into the kitchen to grab another bottle of wine.

  Laney shivered under the blanket. She didn’t know why she couldn’t just shut up. Kyle returned, with a bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses in the other. She gave him a small smile and was relieved when it was returned. He looked embarrassed, and she wanted to make it right.

  “I’m not very good at this talking thing, clearly.”

  “We’re both a bit out of practice.” He took a big gulp of wine. “Two years, remember?”

  “Try twelve.” She grimaced.

  “So you really haven’t had a real relationship since we broke up?” He looked incredulous. “How did you fend them off?”

  “I wasn’t a nun.” She took a sip of wine, then another. She glanced over at Kyle. He was beautiful, his long torso corded with muscles earned through manual labour, his abs tight and defined even as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. He was a leaner version of The Thinker, the statue she’d seen in Paris. She curved her hand around his bulging bicep and it flexed against her palm. “There haven’t been that many guys.”

  He waved his hand. “I don’t…I lost the right to care about that a long time ago.”

  She didn’t argue. It was true, but it wasn’t the only truth. “I don’t like the idea of you being with anyone else either.”

  “Then why did you ask about Crystal? Why torture yourself?”

  “Because I don’t want to be jealous. I don’t like that feeling. I don’t like feelings in general.”

  Kyle turned toward her
on the couch. The candle flickered, bouncing light off the side of his face and she sucked in a breath. His profile was beautiful, but full-on, his appeal was more base. He went from a statue to a hot blooded man, from fantasy to reality. Sexy, scary reality.

  “I don’t think that’s true, Laney.” The words slid between them quietly, and he reached through them to caress her naked shoulder. “You like to feel me inside of you.”

  Her breath hitched. “That’s different.”

  “Is it?” he murmured, tracing the line of her neck up to her jaw. He rubbed his fingers back and forth there, tipping her head to the side. He shifted closer and lowered his mouth to where her neck and shoulder meet.

  She whimpered, the sound vibrating against his lips.

  “Tell me this isn’t a real feeling.”

  She couldn’t. Her pulse sped up and he laid his palm flat on her chest. “In time, you’ll want to feel here again.”

  Laney shook her head. She laced her fingers into Kyle’s and pulled his hand lower to rest on her abdomen. “The agony here? I don’t like to feel that. And it’s inevitable, so this?” She pointed at her heart. “That’s off limits. To everyone.”

  Kyle didn’t say anything until Laney went to move away. He pulled her closer instead and lowered his face so their foreheads pressed together. “That’s my fault, then, and I’m sorry. To you, and all the men out there that probably want to love you. They’re missing out.”

  Laney sniffed, and she realized that she was crying. Fuck. That wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go down. Kyle wiped her face with his hands and kissed her damp cheek. He meant it to comfort her, she knew that, but crying in front of him crossed a line. She felt way too vulnerable.

  “I think I should go,” Laney whispered, and Kyle nodded. She climbed off the couch, feeling clumsy as she searched for her shirt. She took her time putting it on and waited until she was composed before turning back to face Kyle. “Well, it’s been real.”

  He was across the room before she could crack a smile, and he hauled her into his arms. His hands gripped her shoulders, and uncomfortable heat radiated through her shirt. His gaze smoldered, and it took him a few moments to pull words together. “Don’t make light of it, Laney. I get why you’re leaving, but…fuck. You make me crazy.”

  Her gasp was cut off as he kissed her, bruising her lips. Probably her heart too. But Laney had tasted enough honesty for one night, so she buried that thought deep in the vault. His tongue pushed hard against hers, then softened, and she sank into the kiss. They were much better at this than they were at talking. Regret, longing and frustration flowed between them, and too quickly Kyle stepped away, and she stumbled at the loss. The scent of a date swirled around them, a mix of clean bodies, fancy drug store brands and fresh arousal, reminding her just how far off course the evening had gone. Without looking at her, he grabbed at his shirt and headed for the entryway. She followed, stuffing herself into winter gear. Kyle opened the door and she fled, not looking back.

  Twelve

  Claire was reading in the living room. She closed her book but didn’t get up. “How was dinner?”

  Laney shrugged and made a little grimace. “About as well as one might expect dinner with an ex-boyfriend to go.”

  It wasn’t a lie. And it was all she was going to share. She waved her mother back to her book and headed upstairs. Evie had fallen asleep in the boys’ room during story time, and Laney pulled the door closed, not wanting to wake any of them up. She needed a long, hot soak in the tub.

  The bubbly heat warmed her from the inside out, but it didn’t do anything to shake the discontent. She dunked under the water and shook her head, her hair floating around her like bands of ribbon. Where had the evening gone wrong? The more she thought about fighting with Kyle, and leaving him without resolving the tension that had been brewing between them, the worse she felt. She hated that uneasy niggle at the back of her neck, but she didn’t know how to make it go away.

  She had to admit that tonight revealed they still had a lot of unresolved issues, and it was probably impossible to have a nostrings attached fling with her ex. Her stomach flipped at the idea that whatever was going on between them was now over. No. Laney sat straight up in the bath with a gasp. She wanted more. But with Kyle? He’s not easily duplicated. Twelve years had proven that point. She swiped at her face, pushing water away from her eyes and that errant desire from her mind, but both dripped back undeterred. Was she falling for Kyle after all? Considering that question was like tiptoeing to the edge of a cliff, and she inhaled a shaky breath.

  Memories both old and new rolled over in her head. The first time Kyle kissed her. She grinned. She had actually kissed him. He’d come to the university library to help her study, and found her in the stacks trying to get a book on the top shelf. A friendly hug turned into a full body press, then she’d pulled his face to hers. She could still feel the pounding of his heart against hers, how his palms went damp in the small of her back, and the unbearable ache in her heart when he pulled away. That didn’t hold a candle to the misery of walking away from him for good when she left for Harvard. And nothing she’d experienced since coming home compared to any of the low points of their relationship. Relief rolled through her body.

  She dressed in flannel pajama pants, a t-shirt and thick wool work socks. Looking at her bed, she decided she needed a fortifying cup of hot chocolate first and padded downstairs. Her mother had moved to the kitchen and was turning out the lights.

  “Can I get you something, Laney?”

  “I just came down to make some hot chocolate. Do you want some?” Claire shook her head and yawned, so Laney shooed her toward the stairs. “I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

  Claire paused and touched Laney’s cheek. “You okay?”

  She nodded. She would be, anyway.

  She was reaching for the kettle when something scratched at the door. She jumped and whirled around. Someone. With a finger to her lips, Laney pulled the door open. “What are you doing here?” she whispered.

  Kyle stepped in, careful not to make any noise with his boots. “I won’t stay long,” he said, matching her quiet tone. “But I just couldn’t let you leave like that.”

  With a start, Laney remembered that she had been vague with Kyle about when she was leaving Wardham, and he thought that she was leaving the next day.

  “Are you making hot chocolate?” He leaned around her, eyeing the canister on the counter.

  “Maybe.”

  “Can I have some?”

  “Don’t you have any at home?”

  “I do, but it’s a cold walk back.” He gestured at the driveway. He hadn’t driven his truck over. He shrugged, as if there wasn’t an easy explanation. That was the truth for so much of what was going on between them, what was a late night walk in the cold?

  She nodded and pointed to the table. Just in case he’d forgotten the rule, she put her finger to her lips again. She found herself smiling as she stirred sweetened cocoa powder into mugs of hot water and topped them with a splash of cream. A quick rummage through the cupboards didn’t turn up anything other than spelt cookies, so she carried just the mugs to the table.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t have anything sweet to offer.” As she said that, she realized that she’d left Kyle’s place before they’d gotten to dessert, and her hand flew to her mouth as she gasped. “Oh god, I’m sorry, your dessert.”

  He shook his head and wrapped his hands around his cup. “Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t homemade, or anything. This is great.”

  Laney slumped in her chair. She felt rotten.

  “Hey, don’t make that face. It’s fine, really. I don’t have enough drama in my life.” Kyle winked at her. “And I only had a few days to soak up whatever you can throw at me. Since you aren’t actually throwing anything, it’s all good.”

  She wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t want to get into anything again so she nodded and smiled. “Will it keep? The dessert, I mean. Maybe we could
try again tomorrow night. I don’t need to be back in Chicago until New Year’s.”

  Kyle shook his head, clear disappointment on his face. “I’m curling tomorrow with a bunch of teachers. I probably won’t be home until late.”

  “Call me when you’re done and I’ll come over.”

  “Are you looking for a booty call?” He raised an eyebrow and pulled out his phone.

  “I think we’ve demonstrated that works better for us than the whole ‘dinner and a movie’ thing, don’t you?” Laney regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. Dinner had been great. Kyle didn’t look offended, though, and she took his phone and added her number, and then after a moment’s hesitation, her email address and Twitter handle as well.

  “Twitter?” Kyle asked, looking at her profile.

  She shrugged. “It’s a good way to stay connected with other physicians and keep up to date on news in the medical community. I’ve done a bit of guest blogging too. I just added it because your address book has a field for it. You don’t need to follow me.”

  Kyle met her gaze for a beat, then finished his hot chocolate and rinsed the mug in the sink. Laney stood to see him out to the door, and after he pulled on his coat, Kyle took one of her hands in his. He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, back and forth, and she squeezed his fingers. “I’m going to follow you, Laney.”

  Thirteen

  “Squeeze your butt! Maintain a straight line through your ribs and tummy, good, now slow inhale, and exhale, hold it there, good, inhale again, slow, that’s good.” Evie had missed her calling as a drill sergeant, although after a week of these exercises, she had to admit that her core did feel stronger. Not that Laney would admit it.

  “And with this exhale, you’ll come out of shoulder bridge, maintaining a neutral spine. Roll down to the mat, then up to a seated position. Connor will lead the next exercise.”

  Laney grinned at her nephew. “Whatcha got for us, big guy?”

  Connor put his hands on his hips. “This is an advanced move, it’s really for superheroes, but you can try it. It’s called superman flying supertwist. Max is going to demonstrate.”