by Mina Quin
Camden gave a bark of laughter, and this time he didn’t wince, which must mean his pain levels were under control. “It might be irresponsible, but it’s also going to be fun. Do you think we’re the first couple who’s ever done this? I doubt it. In fact, Dr. Briggs offered in a roundabout way to cover for us. He said he’d leave orders not to disturb us as soon as the curtains are closed unless we press the call button. So, if you climb on up here to show me a good time, Mr. Norris-Marsh, I’ll get my brain cut open for you tomorrow.”
He supposed he should keep protesting, but Wil didn’t have it in him to fight both of them. Knowing this might be the last time they had a chance to be together, either in an intimate or just snuggly fashion, made the idea appealing. Did it matter if they got caught? No one would call the police, and it was unlikely anybody would be too shocked or appalled at a married couple making love the night before a risky surgery that could potentially change both their lives forever.
After walking over to slide the curtain, once he discovered the door didn’t actually lock, he went back to his husband. Feigning a sigh of reluctance, he started to unbutton his shirt. “Anything for you, Camden.”
“Likewise, Wil.” His eyes didn’t leave Wil’s fingers, and he seemed enraptured with the view as he slowly undressed, laying his shirt across the chair. His gaze moved to his stomach, and his eyes softened. “You look so beautiful like this. It’s exactly how I want to remember you.”
He swallowed a lump in his throat and forced himself to carry on with undressing as though he wasn’t sobbing on the inside. “We’ll have plenty of time to make new memories.”
Camden sighed, but didn’t argue.
A moment later, he was naked and sat on the edge of Camden’s bed. “I don’t want to hurt you, so what’s the best way to do this?”
“Just don’t smack me in the head, and we’ll be fine.” He winked at him as he patted the bed.
It was awkward, especially with the narrow bed, but Wil managed to straddle his thighs, holding tight to the bedrails for support as he leaned down to offer Camden a kiss, careful not to put much of his weight on him. Despite his assurances he was fine, Wil couldn’t help regarding him as fragile.
Suddenly, the baby kicked, and he sat upright. “Wait.” Hoping he could feel the gentle taps, he took Camden’s hand and placed it on his stomach where the baby was active.
His eyes were alight with anticipation as he moved his hand a couple of times. Wil knew the instant he felt the little tap, tap, tap by the way tears filled his eyes, and his expression turned to one of pure awe and love. It made Wil want to cry, and he had to blink away tears.
After a couple of minutes, the baby had clearly settled again, and their thoughts turned from parenthood to passion once more. Wil leaned down for a second time, once more kissing him before his fingers traveled down Camden’s body.
His hospital gown yielded easily to his fingers when he pushed up the hem to above his waist. His erection was a silken rod in his hand, and Wil stroked him gently before turning onto his back, bracing most of his weight with the handrails, and pressing his pucker against the head of Camden’s large cock. Wil was already slick with need. Just being near his husband could inspire that reaction, and with the way Camden was breathing harshly, he couldn’t wait any longer. Pregnancy hormones didn’t hurt either.
Camden surged inside his slick hole carefully, and they both sighed with pleasure. “You feel so good,” he said softly.
“You too.” Wil arched his hips up before sliding down Camden’s shaft again. “I’ve missed you, and I’m in the mood all the time. It’s totally normal for the second trimester.”
Camden groaned. “Stupid brain tumor. I could have been doing nothing but this for the past few weeks.”
Wil laughed, though he wasn’t really able to see any humor in the situation just yet. “We’ll just have to make up for lost time tonight.”
Their pace was slow and unhurried, as if they had all the time in the world. The risk of getting caught was unimportant, and he made a conscious effort not to think about tomorrow. Instead, he focused on this moment with his husband, praying it wouldn’t be their last night together. Even in the midst of their passion, he was reminded of Camden’s ill health when his partner didn’t knot in him after spilling his seed. Even his pregnancy shouldn’t have prevented that natural Alpha response, so he must be very weak.
Afterward, he curled up to Camden’s side, still careful of the IV lines and monitors. “I’m surprised we didn’t set off your heart monitor,” he said with a chuckle, trying to hide his concern.
“Maybe Dr. Briggs told them to ignore it if the curtain was closed.” Camden put his arm around him, turned his head to kiss his forehead, and soon drifted off to sleep.
Wil lay beside him for a while longer before getting up and dressing. As soon as he opened the curtain enclosing the glass-walled room, a nurse came in within a few minutes to take Camden’s vitals. Clearly, Dr. Briggs had delivered his promise of privacy. Wil might have expected to feel awkward, but when the nurse gave him a conspiratorial wink, he was just sad.
Under normal circumstances, no one would have turned a blind eye to their actions or ensured they had the necessary privacy. Camden didn’t warrant special treatment because he was a billionaire. Instead, it was because he would probably die tomorrow, or maybe wake up not remembering anything about his life before.
Bitterness at the unfairness welled in Wil, but he took several deep breaths and pushed it down. As soon as the nurse left them again, he returned to the seat beside Camden’s bed, held his hand, and watched him sleep. As he did so, Wil occasionally whispered, “Come back to me tomorrow, Camden.”
Chapter Eight
With a sense of déjà vu, Wil sat in the same chair he had used two days before, holding another full cup of cold coffee, as Dr. Briggs entered the waiting room. This time, Nathan and Jamie were there for emotional support, but he was only vaguely aware of them right behind him when they all stood up as one to approach the doctor. It was difficult to determine anything from his expression, so he was no closer to knowing how his husband was just by seeing his surgeon.
“I think it went well, Mr. Norris-Marsh.”
Wil sagged slightly, and he was glad to have Nathan and Jamie holding his arms to steady him. “Is he okay? Do you think it worked?”
Dr. Briggs nodded. “I believe he’ll be all right in time, though of course we won’t know how much of his faculties remain until he wakes from surgery. That could be several days yet, two hours, or tomorrow morning. It’s difficult to say, especially with the swelling in his brain.”
Wil frowned. “Brain swelling causes brain damage, doesn’t it?”
Dr. Briggs nodded again. “Yes, it can.” He peeled off his surgical cap and placed it in a pocket on his scrubs. “I expect the worst effects will be evident shortly after waking, if not before. The tumor was even larger than I’d expected, and it went deeper, but I was able to excise all of it.
“However, there’s a lot of delicate tissue around the area, as we discussed, and I don’t know what might be permanently damaged, and what might be impacted simply from postsurgical swelling at this point. You need to be prepared for anything, but I can speak with some level of confidence when I say I think he’ll wake up.”
A tiny bit of relief surged, but he tamped it down, needing to know the worst-case scenario. “Will he remember me? Will he remember anything about his life before the surgery?”
The surgeon didn’t say anything for long second. “I can’t tell you either way for sure at this time, Mr. Norris-Marsh. It’s something we’ll have to evaluate when he wakes.”
“I know you said he can relearn some of the things he might lose, but if he doesn’t remember me, is all hope lost? Will he ever regain his memories?”
Dr. Briggs hesitated another moment before licking his lips. “Again, nothing is one-hundred-percent in medicine, but there was damage to the section of the brain that controls
memory processes, so if he doesn’t remember you, or he has blank spots in his memory, it’s quite likely they’ll never return. You can’t rule out the brain healing itself or re-diverting to make new pathways, but it isn’t an outcome you should expect.”
“Thank you, Dr. Briggs.” As soon as the doctor turned and left, Wil sank back into his seat, overwhelmed with worry. In the back of his mind, he had been bracing for the outcome that he wouldn’t survive the surgery, and relief filled him at the realization he was going to live.
The tumor was gone, and though he expected there would be follow-up treatment like radiation to keep it from returning, that threat to his life seemed distant now. The next threat to his life, or at least the quality of his life, was damage from the surgery itself. He knew his entire future hinged on whether or not he recognized his when he awoke.
***
“Wil, you have to get some rest.” Nathan clicked his tongue, his disapproval obvious. “You haven’t left this room in three days.”
“I have everything I need here. There’s a bathroom with a shower, and the chair folds down to a semi-comfortable bed. Most importantly, I’m going to be by Camden’s when he wakes up.” Wil squeezed his hand in his as he made the last proclamation. “I appreciate you bringing me fresh clothes and better food than they have in the cafeteria, but I’m not leaving here until he wakes up.”
“I figured as much.” Nathan shook his head, but he didn’t try to press Wil to go home or back to the corporate apartment for better rest again.
It had been three days of waiting, three of the longest days of his life, though Dr. Briggs still appeared hopeful. When he’d examined Camden on each of his rounds, he continued to maintain he would awaken soon. The swelling was receding faster than he had anticipated, so he took that as a good sign. Wil was trying to do so as well, finding the quiet confidence and strength of the doctor bolstered his own.
Camden’s hand twitched in his, but he didn’t get too excited. The first couple of times that had happened after the surgery, he’d pressed the nurse’s button with the expectation he would rouse at any moment.
Instead, he had soon discovered it was more of an autonomic muscle response than signs of awareness. However, when his hand twitched in Wil’s again, and his fingers tightened around his thumb, Wil started to feel hopeful. “Nathan, be prepared to get the nurse. I think he might be waking up.”
As his friend moved to the doorway, poised to get a nurse from the central station, Wil leaned closer to Camden, certain he heard a difference in his breathing. It wasn’t so deep or rhythmic, and his body stirred in more places than just his hand. His legs moved, and his eyelids twitched. “Camden?” Wil cupped his cheek in the hand not holding his. “Can you hear me, honey?”
Slowly, eyelids fluttered open, and his blue gaze drew his brown eyes like a magnet. The unfocused expression in them sent a pang of worry through Wil, but he tamped it down as he waited to see if Camden would wake fully and be aware.
“Gah,” he rasped. His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, clearly trying to moisten his throat.
Wil reached for cup of water nearby, dipping the sponge and bringing it to his mouth to dab around his lips. One of his self-appointed tasks had been to ensure his husband stayed hydrated, though he knew the IV provided all he needed. Still, it had made him feel useful to dab the sponge on Camden’s lips.
After a few more swishes with across his lips and inside his mouth, Camden tried speaking again. “Where a’my?” he asked, his word slurred as though he’d been drinking and was in the throes of a helluva hangover.
“Here in the hospital, honey. Do you remember the surgery?” What he really wanted to ask was did Camden remember him? Did he remember the baby, or the life they had together? Instead, he forced himself not to bring up heavy topics while he was in this fragile state.
“What’d I need surgery for? Appendix?” He scowled, looking a little petulant. “I told the headmaster days ago my side hurt, but he told me I was faking. Told that jerk so.”
Wil didn’t know whether to laugh at the little-boy tone and complaint, which seemed prompted by an incident in his past—which might mean he retained at least some of his memories—or to give in to the fear swelling inside him. Fortunately, Nathan returned at that moment, and the doctor soon joined them.
Reluctantly, Wil moved to the side so Dr. Briggs had enough room to examine Camden. He answered his questions sluggishly, but seemed to have most of the right answers, though he didn’t know who the doctor was. Wil’s heart clenched with fear at that discovery, and he leaned against Nathan, who offered him a warm hug.
After finishing the exam, Dr. Briggs drew Wil to the side, glancing back at Camden with a hint of worry. “The first thing is he’s blind. I hope it’s just a temporary reaction from swelling, but you have to prepare yourself it could be permanent.”
Wil’s hands clenched, but he forced himself to nod and hold back tears. “What else? He didn’t remember you or the surgery.”
“Again, that could be swelling or residual side effects from anesthesia and surgery. Or it could be something as simple as he didn’t know me very long, and I didn’t make an impression.”
Wil swallowed. “I hope that’s not it, because he’s known me about the same amount of time as he’s known you.”
The doctor reached forward to grasp his hand, squeezing gently. “The difference is, Wil, you’re his partner and the father of his child. You have obviously left a much deeper impression, and when he’s more aware, we’ll see if he remembers you.”
He nodded, trying to find comfort in the oncologist’s words, but falling short. Wil wasn’t normally a complete pessimist, but he couldn’t seem to summon the hope he needed to sustain his. The idea of abandoning Camden in this vulnerable state was abhorrent, but if he didn’t remember Wil, would he want him around? Or would Camden send his away, thinking he was just another stranger?
***
He awoke again later that night, and his gaze was more focused. Wil sat tentatively on the bed beside him, remembering he couldn’t see. “Camden, do you know who I am?”
“You’re my partner,” he said in a hoarse voice. “And you’re probably wearing too many clothes.”
A surge of joy filled Wil, and he hugged him gently. He remembered him, so they could deal with the worst together.
“I can’t see anything, babe.”
He leaned back just a bit, his arm still around him. “I know. Dr. Briggs thinks it’s just swelling from the surgery.” That wasn’t entirely true, since it remained in doubt whether he would get his vision back, but the last thing he needed was the worst-case scenario at this point. “The best news so far is the tumor’s gone, and with some radiation and follow-up care, there’s a good chance it won’t return.”
“Also, you remember me and know who I am.” Wil lifted his hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it near Camden’s IV. “I was so scared you wouldn’t know me and would send me away, thinking I was just some freaky Omega after your money.”
He frowned slightly. “I have money?”
The wonder in his voice made Wil smile. “You have buckets of money, honey—not that it matters to me. I’d love you just as much if you were poor.”
Camden still wore a frown. “How much money do I have?”
Wil hesitated, and then shrugged. “I don’t know exactly, and I bet you probably didn’t know down to the penny before the surgery either. You have the kind of money with a gazillion zeros after it. That’s all I know.”
“How many is a gazillion?”
He asked the question so seriously that Wil knew he wasn’t joking and didn’t realize it was a made-up number. “Can you count to ten?”
His brow furrowed with concentration as he attempted the task, but it was soon obvious Camden didn’t even know how to begin. Wil patted his hand and hugged him again, knowing what a blow that must be for the man he had been.
He only hoped he couldn’t remember that part of his prev
ious life very well, in case none of those skills ever returned. To Wil, it didn’t matter if he couldn’t count, spell, read, or handle even the most basic intellectual tasks. He remembered him and the love they shared. That was the most important thing, and Wil clung to it.
Epilogue
In the days ahead, Wil had to remind himself of that fact more than once. Recovery was difficult, and Camden seemed to remember enough of what he had been to be frustrated and angry with what he was. He lashed out at everyone, including Wil, his angry words sometimes hurting so much Wil locked himself in the bathroom to cry before emerging with a strong façade again.
Knowing it was to be expected and coping with it were two different things, but he persevered. Dr. Briggs recommended a therapist for Wil, and he helped talk him through the worst days of Camden’s recovery.
While Camden learned how to walk again, and perform other simple tasks, he stayed in a rehabilitation facility where Wil visited him daily. He wasn’t well enough to leave the facility the evening Wil went into labor, so Nathan was his birth coach and the one beside him when Lacey Marsh entered the world on a hot night in June.
Their daughter was a beautiful combination of the two of them, and the changes she wrought in Camden were amazing. Three days after her birth, Wil took Lacey to visit her father for the first time, and as he put their daughter in Camden’s arms, bracing the newborn with his arm under his husband’s, because he was still weak, Wil met his still-blind gaze and saw tears there. “Are you okay, Camden?”
“Amazing.” He held Lacey against him, cuddling and talking gently to the baby. Wil had no concerns as he watched them together, though he knew Camden probably had uncountable fears. He clearly knew how to be a father and already loved their baby. The rest would fall into place, and Wil would be there to help him.
“She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” said Wil with a small smile before describing her features for Camden, who ran a finger over the baby’s features with each description.
