by CJ Bishop
Cole leaned on one elbow in Carl’s direction and cocked an eyebrow. “You want to join in? I’m sure Lex wouldn’t mind. It’s for a good cause.”
A flirty smile on his handsome face, Carl rested on his elbows in front of Dane. “I’m always up for participating in a good cause.”
“I’m not a charity case,” Dane chuckled.
“What do you mean?” Gabe asked. “This is as much for us as you. Maybe more so.” He pushed closer to Dane and ran his hand up his thigh. “You know we’ve always wanted to get jiggy with you. We would have, too, but then Angel walked in and snatched you right out from under us.”
Dane laughed low. “I wasn’t under you just yet.”
“Close enough.” Cole smirked. “I think Angel owes us for robbing us of that ‘almost’ fun time you were about to surrender to.”
“Who said I was about to surrender?”
“We know surrender when we see it.” Cole smiled.
All their flirting and teasing was their way of showing Dane how much they loved and cared for him. Dane preferred this method to a sit-down sympathy talk about his parents.
“What do you say we give it one more go’round while we’re all still swinging bachelors?” Cole grinned.
“None of us have been bachelors in quite a while,” Dane pointed out. “And what do you mean, exactly, about another go’round?”
Cole jerked his thumb toward the stage and wagged his eyebrows. “A hot, sexy stage show. The three of us.” He glanced at Carl and winked. “Or four of us. That works for me, too.”
Holding up his hands, Carl laughed and stepped back. “I’ll pass. A private cuddle session, sure. Stage dance…uh-uh.”
“Ah, you’d love it.” Gabe nodded.
Cole squeezed Dane’s bicep and nuzzled his ear. “What do you say? The three of us burning up the stage. We’ve never been up there together.”
“I have to admit,” Carl groaned. “I’d sure as hell love to see it.”
“Come on,” Gabe blew in his other ear and cupped his junk with a strong hand. “Let’s cut loose and get dirty. Angel got to do it with Caleb and Abel. Now it’s your turn.”
The idea had some appeal. He looked at the two men. “When?”
“Now?” Cole proposed hopefully.
“No.” Dane shook his head and laughed. “If we got up there and Angel missed it, he would cut me off for a week.”
“Speaking of that…” Carl grinned. “You know what would make your guys’ wedding night extra-hot? If you made a pact right here and now not to have sex again until your wedding night. All the couples.”
The three of them stared at Carl as if he’d lost his mind. Cole chuffed. “Easy for you to say when you got a monster cock waiting at home to fuck you senseless.”
Carl laughed and shrugged. “Just trying to do my part to make your special night extra-special.”
“You propose this now?” Gabe snorted. “Right after we talk about the three of us getting down and dirty on stage? Do you know how fucking hard we’ll be afterward?”
Carl smiled. “The more build-up you have, the hotter your night will be.”
“I don’t think I have that kind of willpower,” Dane confessed. “I mean, you’ve seen Angel’s ass. There’s no way in hell I could resist that for even a night or two.”
“All right,” Carl sighed. “If you’re all too weak. I understand.”
“Fuck you,” Cole laughed. “We’re not too weak.”
“Speak for yourself,” Dane snorted and took a drink of beer. He was already beginning to sweat just thinking of lying in bed next to Angel, his perfect little ass pressed up against him, and not being able to indulge himself. “I’m not too proud to admit I’m weak.”
Both Cole and Gabe gripped his shoulders and looked defiantly at Carl. “Challenge accepted—for all of us.”
Dane laughed quietly. “You’re so going to get your asses kicked by the others.”
Chapter 15
“You’ve met Maddy, haven’t you?” Angel’s face scrunched in determination as he and Noah waged virtual war on each other on the TV screen. “He told you how to kick my butt, didn’t he?”
Noah smiled and shook his head as he annihilated Angel’s avatar for the third time.
“I concede defeat,” Angel sagged back against the edge of the sofa. “Might as well accept I’m just another casualty of war.”
“Want to play again?” Noah asked quietly, though eagerly.
“My guts and brains are splattered all over the concrete,” Angel snorted. “I don’t think I’m in any shape to keep fight. I think I need a medic.”
Abel chuckled. “I think you need a body bag. Maybe a few of them.” Angel nodded and laughed. Abel looked at Noel who sat in the arm chair, feet tucked beneath him, his head resting against the side of the cushioned chair as he watched Noah and Angel. “You want to give it a try, Noel?” Abel asked. “I bet you could kick his butt, too.”
“Hey.” Angel scowled then grinned and shrugged. “Probably.”
Noel shook his head. His eyes were heavy and one arm loosely curled around his stomach. Abel was trying not to worry excessively about the boy, but it wasn’t easy; he didn’t look well at all. He’d only taken a few bites of his lunch and left the rest untouched.
“How’s your stomach?” Abel asked. “Does it hurt any worse?”
Noel shook his head but avoided eye contact. Noah and Angel glanced at him. Worry crept into Noah’s dark eyes. “Noel?” he asked anxiously.
“I’m okay,” Noel whispered.
Abel had his doubts. He suspected Noah did, too, when the other boy cast Abel a concerned look.
A few moments later, Noel crawled out of the chair. “I have to go to the bathroom,” he mumbled when the others looked at him. Abel watched him walk out of the living room. His movements were slightly stiff, his shoulders partially hunched as if he couldn’t quite stand up straight.
“Abel…” Angel murmured uneasily.
“Noah,” Abel said. “Has he said anything to you about his pain getting worse?”
Noah shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “I would tell you. I promised Devlin.”
“I believe you,” Abel assured him gently. “But do you think Noel isn’t telling the truth about how bad he feels?”
Noah started to shake his head, then looked uncertain. “I don’t know,” he admitted quietly.
“Why don’t you go check on him,” Abel suggested. “See if you can get him to tell you if the pain is any worse-”
Noel’s muffled cry sliced off Abel’s words. Something crashed down in the bathroom.
“Noel!” Noah bolted to his feet and ran for the hall as fast as he could manage. Abel and Angel were right behind him. Noah grabbed the door knob, wrenching on it, but it refused to twist. “Noel!” he beat on the door, panic turning his voice shrill. “Open the door!”
Inside, Noel cried and whimpered.
“Move back.” Abel told Noah. Angel grabbed the boy and drew him to the side as Abel smashed his shoulder into the door. When it didn’t budge, Angel joined him and together rammed the door with their combined strength, knocking it open. “Oh shit,” Abel gasped when he saw Noel lying on the floor, curled into a fetal position, crying and clutching his stomach.
“Noel!” Noah shoved into the bathroom and dropped to his knees beside his brother. Tears formed and streaked his face. “Noel!” he looked up at Abel and Angel, fear and panic swarming him. “What’s wrong with him?” he cried.
“Stay with him!” he told Angel and ran for the kitchen. He grabbed the cordless phone off the wall and hurriedly punched in Devlin’s cell number.
♦
“Well, if you’re not going to play with us right now,” Cole said. “We’ll just go play with each other.” Cole and Gabe stepped off their stools.
“You do that,” Dane chuckled. “But remember, it was your idea to accept the celibacy challenge, so no playing playing.” Dane’s ringtone rang out and he dug
his phone from his pocket. “Oh look, it’s my sweet Angel.” He shook his head and grinned. “Just wait till he hears what you two did, he will turn into a warring angel.” Dane answered the call. “Hey, beautiful, guess what-”
“We better get out of here,” Gabe laughed. “He might come through the phone…” his smile faded as Dane’s good humor died in an instant.
“Just stay calm,” Dane said tensely as Angel explained what was happening. “You called for an ambulance?”
Cole and Gabe exchanged an alarmed glance. “Ambulance?”
“Okay. They should be there in a few minutes.” Dane stood up. “I’m at the club with Cole and Gabe. We’ll be right there. Call Max. Don’t worry. I’m sure he’s going to be all right. We’re on our way right now.” He motioned at the two men and he headed quickly for the club entrance, the cell pressed to his ear. “Call me right back after you call Max. Okay? I love you, baby. We’ll be there in ten minutes or less.” He ended the call as they were exiting the club.
“What’s going on?” Cole asked anxiously. “Who needs an ambulance?”
“Noah’s brother Noel.” The three of them piled into Dane’s car. “He’s having severe stomach pains. Angel said they found him on the bathroom floor, curled up in pain and crying.”
“Could it be his appendix?” Gabe asked with concern.
“I don’t think so.” Dane pulled away from the club and directed the car through the city streets. “Abel said Devlin checked him earlier, thinking the same thing. But he didn’t think it was that.”
“Why didn’t he take him to the hospital then?” Cole asked, confused.
Dane shook his head. “I don’t know.”
When they arrived at Abel’s home, the ambulance was already there and the paramedics wheeling Noel out to the vehicle. Dane parked out of the way and the three men hurried into the house.
This was the first time Dane had seen Noah and the boy was a mess, in tears and wanting to go with his brother. Angel practically threw himself into Dane’s arm when they entered the house.
“Thank God you’re here,” he trembled. “I was so scared.”
Cole hugged Abel then stepped back. “Come on,” he told them. “We’ll follow the ambulance in Dane’s car.”
“Okay,” Abel said thickly and wrapped his arm around Noah. “Devlin is waiting for him at the hospital,” he told the boy. “And we’ll be right behind him. Don’t worry, he’s in good hands.”
The six of them climbed into Dane’s car; Angel and Gabe in the front with Dane, and Abel and Cole in the back with a frightened Noah between them.
“Don’t you worry, kid,” Cole murmured and rubbed his hand over the boy’s hair. “Your brother’s going to be okay.”
The man sounded certain, but Dane knew that every one of them were shooting silent prayers heavenward, pleading for God to watch over the boy and bring him through this…whatever it was.
♦
Devlin met the paramedics at the ER entrance and quickly transferred Noel to a gurney. The boy wailed and writhed, hugging his stomach, his face flushed and pinched in agony as tears flowed down his cheeks.
“I’m right here, Noel,” Devlin told him. “You’re going to be okay, son.” Noel screamed and flopped over. Devlin looked sharply at one of the ER nurses. “Sedate him!” he ordered as he tried to hold Noel in place.
“Dr. Grant!” another nurse barked at him. “He’s bleeding!”
“What?” Devlin turned and looked. Blood was saturating the boy’s jeans. “Shit! Cut off his jeans!” Seconds later, two nurses had scissors, each hurriedly cutting his pant legs upward. “He was sexually assaulted by his stepfather within the last couple weeks,” Devlin informed. “Something may have ruptured in his anal canal.”
Oh God, please—please! Let him be okay!
The boy twisted and jerked, crying out sharply. “Nurse! Sedate him—now!”
“Dr. Grant…”
Devlin gripped Noel’s wet face. “Hang on, son. We’re going to take care of you.”
“Dr. Grant!”
Devlin spun around as the nurses stripped away Noel’s soiled jeans. “What-” He froze in shock, his heart slamming his ribs, breath rushing through his nostrils. His head went light momentarily, eyes widening. “What…”
Oh my God…
♦
Noah sat huddled in one of the cushioned chairs in the waiting room, legs draw up to his chest and wrapped tightly in his arms. His face was buried in his knees, tears draining out. His heart thumped wildly, fearfully.
Please, God, don’t take him away from me. Please…I need him…don’t take him…
The waiting room doors opened and Noah slowly lifted his head. Devlin stepped through, a dazed look on his face as his eyes cut straight to Noah, held his frightened stare a moment, then turned his focus to the other men.
He knows. Noah trembled.
“Is he okay?” Abel asked worriedly. “What’s wrong with him?”
Devlin cleared his throat and rubbed his hand slowly over his mouth. “He’s going to be okay. He’s stable and resting right now.” His voice shook a little and he kept glancing Noah’s way.
He’s going to be okay. A rush of relief flooded Noah. But…what would happen now?
“What happened to him?” Abel pressed. “What was causing the pain? Was it his appendix after all?”
Devlin shook his head slowly. “No,” he murmured.
“Devlin?” Max stepped forward, deep concern on his face. “What is it?”
Devlin seemed about to speak, then didn’t. Instead, he moved toward Noah and sank to one knee before him. The others watched him with puzzled looks. “I know about Noel,” Devlin said quietly. “Noah, why didn’t you tell us?”
Pressing his face against his knees, Noah whispered, “He made me promise not to tell. He…he thought everyone would think he was a freak and…and send him away.”
“No,” Devlin said softy. “That’s never going to happen. You don’t ever need to worry about that. Noel is not a freak, and this isn’t going to change how we feel about him, or how we view him.”
Noah’s chin trembled and his eyes filled with tears. “Jim said he was a freak,” he choked softly, sobs piling in his throat.
“Jim was a liar. There is nothing wrong with Noel.”
♦
“Devlin…” Abel moved closer. “What’s going on? What’re you talking about? Why would Jim call Noel a freak?” The others hovered close around Abel, clearly wondering the same thing.
Devlin stood up and faced them, anguish in his eyes. “Noel…” he swallowed thickly, his voice unsteady. “He’s…transgender,” he said quietly, his words forcing out with effort. “He wasn’t…sodomized. Jim…he raped him like a girl.”
“What…” Abel breathed, hearing the words but not quite computing them.
“Fuck…” Cole let out low, unsteady. “That poor kid.” He looked at Noah and murmured, “They thought we wouldn’t want Noel if we knew?”
Devlin nodded. “Can you blame them, after what they’ve gone through?”
Stepping forward, Max looked at Devlin, brow knit with uncertainty. “What was causing the pain, Devlin?”
Devlin hesitated, looking at each of them. “There were traces of testosterone in his blood…” He turned to Noah. “Your mom supported his gender identity?”
Noah nodded.
Exhaling deeply, Devlin addressed the men. “Apparently the hormone hadn’t yet completely neutralized the female sex organs in his body. When Jim raped him…”
Nausea welled up in Abel. “You don’t…mean…”
The anguish in Devlin’s gaze deepened drastically. “The severe pain was caused by his slowly transitioning body rejecting…conception.”
“Oh dear God,” Horatio whispered.
Angel looked horrorstricken as he turned into Dane’s embrace. Dane himself appeared shell-shocked.
“He’s got to be so damned confused,” Gabe murmured.
“
He…” Noah started and the men looked his way. “He doesn’t know if he’s supposed to be a boy or a…a girl.” Noah bit his lip as his chin quivered and fresh tears formed. “Jim said he was a freak for thinking he was a boy and kept telling him he was a girl. When he…when he raped him…he made Noel say he was a girl…over and over…the whole time he was…” Noah’s face crumpled and he started sobbing. “Now…now he’s so confused. He feels like a freak, and he thinks everyone else will feel the same way about him.”
The room swam before Abel and he turned away from the boy, clutching Cole’s chest as sobs began to rise in his throat. He shook with anguish and rage, his face pressed against Cole’s shoulder. “I hope…” he choked tightly. “I hope Clint and Cochise made him fucking suffer.”
Cole wrapped him in his arms and kissed his hair. “You can count on it, baby,” he whispered. “You can fucking count on it.”
~~~
TO HAVE and to HOLD
The Phoenix Wedding
BOOK FIVE
Chapter 1
Noah slipped into the room and let the door close quietly behind him. He stood motionless for a moment before moving tentatively to the foot of the bed. His brother lay on his side, the blanket pulled up over his shoulder, his face buried in the thick pillow. “Are you awake?” Noah whispered and rested his hands on the hard-plastic foot board.
Noel stirred. “Noah…?” His voice was quiet, hardly audible, and thick with tears.
“Yeah.” Noah moved around to the side of the hospital bed. “I’m right here.”
Clutching his hands weakly, Noel choked on a sob. “He knows, Noah. He…He saw me.” He squeezed Noah’s hands fearfully. “What’s going to happen to me?” He started to cry, and Noah hugged him. “Are they going to send me away?”
Noah held him tight and buried his face in his neck. “No,” he whispered unsteadily. “They’re not like that. They want to keep us, Noel. Both of us.”
