by CJ Bishop
♦
Riley laced his fingers through Darius’ as he held his hand tightly. Though his eyes remained forward, he was consumed by Darius’ presence beside him, the warmth of his arm pressing against him, the soft—somewhat unsteady—breath sifting from Darius’ slightly parted lips. Details of their afternoon together a few days ago rose up unbidden and Riley quickly locked them down before they could run rampant through his head; now wasn’t the time to be reminiscing.
His gaze rested on Cole and Gabe, and for the first time in his life imagined getting married. Before Darius came into his life, the notion of marriage hadn’t particularly appealed to him. But maybe that was because he hadn’t yet met the love of his life. He glanced at Darius. The love of my life. In some ways, it felt much too soon to claim that title for Darius. Neither had even said ‘I love you’ to the other. They had yet to make love. Still, it wasn’t at all difficult to envision Darius as the love of his life.
Darius looked at him and smiled. “What?”
I want to make love to you—tonight. Those weren’t the words that came out. Again, it wasn’t the proper time. “Nothing,” Riley murmured and leaned over, planting a soft kiss on his lips. “Just…looking.”
“Uh-huh,” Darius nodded with an amused frown.
Up front, the pastor began to officiate the vows. “Cole and Gabe, face each other and hold hands.”
♦
Gabe grasped Cole’s hands, the heat of their palms seeming to fuse them together. He stared into Cole’s eyes—windows to the man’s heart. Gabe blinked, battling a sudden rising well of tears.
“In the presence of God and your family and friends,” Pastor Thompson began. “Do you, Cole Young, choose Gabriel Smith to be your life partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, to love and to cherish, and to be faithful to him alone. Do you make this your solemn vow?”
A surge of love rushed into Cole’s damp eyes and he squeezed Gabe’s hands. “I do.”
I do. Gabe went weak in the knees as those two tiny words changed his life forever.
The pastor looked at Gabe. “In the presence of God and your family and friends…do you, Gabriel Smith, choose Cole Young to be your life partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, to love and to cherish, and to be faithful to him alone. Do you make this your solemn vow?”
Gabe swallowed thickly and Cole slowly raised an eyebrow, a small smile tugging the corner of his mouth, instantly soothing Gabe’s nerves. “I do.”
“You hesitated,” Cole whispered teasingly.
Gabe replied, “Only to catch my breath.”
Pastor Thompson smiled. “May I have the rings.”
Jules and Reuben, excited to finally be an active part of the ceremony, eagerly brought him the pillow.
“Thank you, boys,” the pastor murmured with a smile and unfastened two of the rings. “These are all I need for the moment.” The boys nodded and hurriedly scooted back to stand next to Clint.
♦
Cole was sure he appeared much calmer than he felt inside. With the reading of the vows, the ceremony had taken on a dream-like quality. He stared at Gabe and for one brief moment, he was back in that terrifying night, clutching Gabe’s still body in his arms, feeling his life draining away. Then the waiting…each minute stretching out longer and longer…never knowing from one minute to the next if he was going to lose the one man who meant most to him in this life. There were many levels to hell on earth, and Cole had walked the dark corridors of one of those levels that night.
Only those who had stood teetering on that ledge, looking down into that black abyss, could fully comprehend the blessing of having something so precious handed back to them. If he lived to be a hundred, the impact of the blessing he received that night would remain as strong and powerful.
The pastor placed one of the rings in Cole’s hand and recited the words to repeat.
“Gabriel Smith,” Cole spoke with a tremor. “I give you this ring, that you may wear it, as a symbol of the vows we have made this day. Vows that I see not as just promises but as privileges.” His throat knotted, thickening his voice. “I pledge you my love, and respect.My laughter and my tears. With all that I am, I honor you.” He gently slipped the ring on Gabe’s finger. “With this ring, I thee wed.”
Gabe’s eyes filled and never left Cole’s face as the pastor gave him the second ring and again recited the words he was to repeat. Gabe’s voice trembled with each sincere, loving word and his hand shook as he placed the ring on Cole’s finger. “With this ring…I thee wed.”
Chapter 7
Noah frowned and looked at Maddy when Cole and Gabe stepped back after exchanging rings. “They didn’t kiss,” he said, confused. “And the preacher didn’t pronounce them…” He faltered, momentarily confused as to what to call it; husband and husband?
Maddy chuckled. “They’re doing the ceremony a little different. Don’t worry, they’ll get to kiss and be pronounced husbands.”
“Oh. Okay.”
The other couples each hugged Cole and Gabe, then the preacher motioned Abel and Devlin forward.
“You two are up,” Maddy smiled at the twins. “Don’t be nervous. For now, all you got to do is stand there quietly.”
Brandon, Devlin’s best man, stepped around them and urged the boys to follow him. “There’s nothing to it.” He winked.
Noah didn’t know Brandon very well but he seemed cool, and he was one of Devlin’s best friends. Noah and Noel walked over to Abel, who wrapped his arms around each of them.
“I’m really glad you’re up here with me,” he said quietly. “Because I’m crazy nervous. I feel much better with you two by my side.”
The pastor looked at Abel and Devlin. “Are we ready?”
Jules tugged at Clint’s pant leg, his feet shifting anxiously. “I gotta pee.”
Soft laughter rippled through the guests and those on stage. Savannah came forward. “I’ll take him.” She smiled at Reuben. “Do you need to go, too?” He nodded. Savannah handed the ring pillow to Maddy and grasped the boys’ hands.
Dancing a jig, Jules asked worriedly, “Will they wait?”
Savannah nodded. “They better.”
Pastor Thompson chuckled. “I think we’ll all survive a short break.”
“I may not,” Devlin murmured and smirked. Abel rolled his eyes and nudged him in the side.
“Ouch,” Devlin scowled. “Maybe I should take this time to consider whether or not I want to marry a brute.”
Noah and Noel laughed when Abel threatened another nudge and Devlin flinched.
“Okay, I’ll marry you,” Devlin mumbled with a suppressed smile. “Just don’t abuse me anymore.”
“No promises.”
Devlin looked at the amused pastor. “Can you slip it into his vows that he isn’t allowed to brutalize me?” He chuckled. “Even when I deserve it?”
“Don’t let him get away with that, baby,” Cole told Abel. “Every man reserves the right to punish his significant other when they’ve been bad.” He smiled at Gabe. “Isn’t that right, sweetie?”
A sly smile spread across Gabe’s face. “Depends on the punishment.”
Noah had never been part of a family where so much playful banter passed back and forth between the members. He didn’t know why, but it seemed like it all made the family closer. The way the couples played with and teased each other filled him with envy. He glanced out at the guests, eyes coming to rest on Chris. If he and Chris were boyfriends, would they banter like that? Chris was fun and funny. Noah was more reserved, but he was sure if Chris teased him that way, he would tease right back.
Like he’s ever going to be your boyfriend, Noah sighed inwardly.
♦
The girl and two little boys were walking across the club, headed his way. Freddy glanced to
his right and noticed the restroom signs for the first time. He quickly withdrew and slipped out the front doors, immediately blasted by the cacophony of the demonstrators. There were more than when Freddy had entered the club. And now a preacher—or who he assumed was a preacher, as he seemed to be leading the protest, Bible in hand—stood with them, front and center. When he spotted Freddy, he urged him to come across the street to them.
Freddy stared at him wide-eyed, his back pressed hard against the club doors. Their shouts and signs clashed with what he had been witnessing inside. Did they even know what was going on in there? How traditional the wedding was?
They don’t care. It’s gay men getting married and they will never accept it.
Should they?
Freddy squeezed his eyes shut, his body trembling.
“Young man.”
A soft gasp escaped Freddy and his eyes snapped open; the preacher had advanced to the center of the street and beckoned to him.
“Don’t take the road to destruction,” the man cautioned. “Get off it while you still can. This lifestyle is unhealthy, detrimental to your soul.”
Images of the grooms rose in his mind…their love and adoration for one another. What was detrimental about two people loving each other? His reasoning was momentarily drowned out by his lifelong conservative upbringing and he wondered – is this preacher a sign from God? Telling me to steer clear of all this? As soon as the thought ran through his head, he thought of the other preacher, the one inside the club. What made the preacher out here more right than the one in there? He’d listened to that pastor’s words to the grooms, heard him pray for them. His heart was sincere toward God, Freddy had felt it.
You feel it more in him than in this guy out here…don’t you?
Freddy was afraid to answer that. What if he just wanted the pastor inside the club to be right? His confusion mounted as the preacher in the street continued to warn him against this “lifestyle”, clearly assuming the Freddy was gay because he appeared to be a part of this wedding. He didn’t know how long it took for two little boys to go to the bathroom, but he suddenly wanted to disappear back inside, away from these fearmongers ready to damn his soul to hell without even knowing a single thing about him.
Fearmongers…who reminded Freddy too much of himself not so long ago.
♦
The compulsion to go check on the young man was growing stronger by the moment. At this point in his ministry, William knew the urging of the Lord without having to stop and consider if it was God speaking to him. Still, he hesitated; as soon as Savannah and the boys returned, the ceremony would resume.
But they’re still in the bathroom.
William spoke to Abel and Devlin. “Will you excuse me for one moment? I will be right back.”
“Is everything all right?” Lex asked, moving closer.
“Yes.” William patted his arm and smiled. “I’ll only be a couple minutes.”
He left the stage and walked around the rear perimeter of the seated guests and headed for the entrance. The entryway was empty, as expected. Other than the restrooms, there was no place to hide. He suspected the young man had gone back outside. William could hear the protestors raised voices coming from outside the doors. He knew nothing of the young man but felt deeply that it wasn’t good for him to be out there right now.
William pushed open one of the double doors and stepped out, squinting as the early afternoon sunlight struck his eyes. The first thing he saw was Hank Milton standing in the middle of the street, Bible clutched in his hand. He’d been speaking but abruptly went silent, face tightening, when William emerged. The entrance door slowly closed and William discovered the young man standing a couple feet away, back against the second door. William’s first impression was that he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. His short blond hair rustled in the soft breeze and his rich blue eyes locked on William, fear and confusion radiating forth in powerful waves. He appeared to be in his mid-twenties and was nicely dressed though he wore no suit, which—had he been—may have implied he’d originally intended to join the rest of the guests.
The fierceness of Pastor Milton’s stare from the center of the street gave William the odd sensation of being in an old western movie, about to engage in a gunfight at high noon. Hank Milton wasn’t his concern, though, and he hadn’t come outside to confront him. William looked at the young man and spoke softly, in stark contrast to those across the street. “We’re about to continue the ceremony,” he said. “If you’d like to come back inside, please feel welcome to do so.” Without saying another word, he turned around and walked back into the club, confident in his spirit that those few gentle words had planted the intended seed in the young man’s heart. What that seed happened to grow into was up to God.
William returned to the stage to find Savannah and the boys waiting with the others. As he prepared to continue the ceremony, he heard a faint, distant click of the outer door quietly closing and from the corner of his eye, glimpsed movement in the shadows of the entryway.
William smiled as an unexpected relief poured through him. He’s still with us.
♦
Abel’s heart raced as he faced Devlin and they clasped hands. The teasing humor from before was overwhelmed by a swell of emotion and Abel’s vision blurred before they even began to speak. He savored this moment, taking note of each and every sensation, thought, and emotion that coursed through him. He was standing on the brink of a dream he had been too afraid to dream until he’d met Devlin.
“You may take this time to speak to one another from your hearts,” Pastor Thompson said softly.
“You first,” Abel told Devlin with a nervous smile. “I want to know what I have to compete with.”
Devlin squeezed his hands and eyed him, bemused. “I don’t know how fair that is,” he murmured. “But since I’m already in hot water with you, I guess I better do as I’m told.”
From amidst the other couples, Abel heard Cole chuckle low and whisper, “He’s got him where he wants him.”
Devlin scowled. “I heard that,” he mumbled. “And it’s…true. Darn it.”
Abel pursed his lips, holding back a grin as the others—along with the guests—quietly laughed.
Clearing his throat, Devlin looked at Abel, his humor giving way to tender emotion. “Maybe it’s a cliché to say that when I met you it was love at first sight, but I don’t know any other way to describe that moment when I first looked into those beautiful amber eyes. One look…and you had me, without even trying. You owned me.” He swallowed thickly. “I was so afraid that you would never let me love you.” His lips tightened as his eyes filled. “That you would never feel safe enough with me to love me back.” He blinked, barely holding back the tears. “People say ‘I love you’ on a whim, it seems, as if love is this fleeting, simple emotion to be taken lightly. But it isn’t. It takes courage to love. Sometimes…a hell of a lot of courage.”
Devlin’s face swam in front of Abel and he clung to his hands.
“After all you’ve been through, and…” Devlin’s chin trembled. “…and all I represented of your pain, don’t think I don’t know how much courage it took for you to trust me to love and care, not only for you, but Savannah as well. To lay your heart in my hands, trusting me not to break it, not to hurt you in any way.”
Abel bit his lower lip, his tears barely holding, remembering how scared he had been back then.
“And…” Devlin’s breath shuddered. “And don’t think I don’t know what a gift your love truly is. A gift I will cherish every day for the rest of my life.” His eyes shimmered thickly and a rogue tear escaped, coursing down his cheek.
Abel released a shaky exhale. “Maybe I should have gone first,” he whispered with a tremor.
♦
Through a glistening haze, Devlin glimpsed the twins, their faces streaked with tears. They didn’t know Devlin and Abel’s story, but their hearts were tender enough to feel the true emotions moving back an
d forth between the two men.
A few feet away, standing with the other best men, Jules asked Clint, “Why are they crying?” Uncertainty and worry filled his small voice. Devlin glanced his way as Clint sank to his heels and whispered too low for Devlin to hear. Whatever he said seemed to comfort Jules and he brightened again.
Devlin turned his full attention to Abel who stared back at him, the amber hue of his beautiful eyes magnified by his tears and his glowing love for Devlin.
When Abel spoke, his words trembled hardly above a whisper at first. “I never thought I could have all this. I didn’t bother to dream about good things, not for myself. Even after we came to Max, the only place I felt safe was inside these walls, inside the circle of this family. I didn’t know that I would ever meet someone from outside my safety zone that I would ever feel safe with, and inside whose arms I would find the love and home I had wished for since I was a child.”
Devlin ached to pull Abel into his arms, hold him close. He resisted the need and held tightly to his hands instead.
“You say it was love at first sight for you…it was for me, too.” His throat worked and he bit his lower lip, further weakening Devlin’s will to take him in his arms. “I was just too afraid to admit it, too scared to let you in. My deepest fear being that, once you saw me for who I was…discovered the things I’d done…that you wouldn’t be able to love me.”
Devlin’s tears slipped out along with Abel’s; Not be able to love you? Baby, I couldn’t have stopped if I’d tried. And he had tried, hadn’t he? For a horrifying moment in time. He’d betrayed Abel, broken his promise to always love Abel and be on his side, no matter what. Devlin knew the sting of that mistake would stay with him until his dying day. If either of them shouldn’t be able to love the other, it should be Abel.
