by Debra Cowan
Well, she had wanted answers. Now she had to deal with them.
It was almost 10:00 p.m. when Robin turned her paint mare back toward her house. She felt empty, flattened. She’d talked to Terra and Meredith. Then she had talked to Wendy. Or tried to. Just hearing her sister’s voice made Robin’s chest split open. Inflamed the anger and hurt all over again. She had hung up after Wendy had admitted to the affair.
Then she had slipped a bridle on Scout and taken off, sans saddle. Fifteen acres weren’t a lot, but they were hers. They provided space and privacy, both of which she needed right now.
The pain and rage fused in a hot tangle in her chest, almost suffocating at times.
Loping back across the moonlit pasture, the rhythmic swish of grass brushing against the horse’s legs took the edge off her emotions, though it didn’t stop the darkness churning inside her. Her control was fraying. So far, she had managed to keep a tight leash on the turmoil, the fury, calling Wendy when she hadn’t wanted to, asking questions when she really wanted to scream.
There had been a few tears when she had met Terra and Meredith for dinner, but she was handling everything. The way she always did.
So what if she felt raw and shaky? The emotions weren’t owning her. As she reached the long metal gate she’d left open when she had come out to get Scout, she slid off the mare’s back. The smells of horseflesh and grass and a faint whiff of earth surrounded her. Lightning bugs flashed in the silvery light like sprinkles of gold dust.
She was flooded with a sense of smallness, of vulnerability. Suddenly, the lock she had kept on her emotions busted. Reins in one hand, she dropped her forehead against the horse’s hot damp neck.
She didn’t know how long tears flowed down her face before she finally realized she was crying. Scout swung her head around and nudged Robin’s arm as if asking if she were okay.
The scene Nate had described between her ex-fiancé and her sister in the pastor’s office strobed through her mind. Every cell in her body ached. Robin felt disgust and anger at Kyle’s infidelity, but she didn’t think anything would ever top the vicious pain of knowing her sister had betrayed her.
It had happened five years ago. She didn’t love Kyle anymore. She never had to see him again if she chose, but her sister was a different story.
“Robin?”
She froze, thinking she had heard someone’s voice. A man.
“Robin?”
It was Nate! Scrubbing at her wet cheeks, she turned. The sight of him, so strong and big and…unscathed in the pale light brought back that initial rush of betrayal.
Her temper flared. “How did you know where I lived?”
“McClain told me.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to see if you’re okay.”
“Sure, if by okay you mean knowing about my sister getting it on with my ex-fiancé.”
“I don’t like that you were hurt again, but I’m glad he finally told you the truth.” Houston’s eyes glittered like blue steel as he stepped closer. “That’s a pretty good right hook you have.”
Maybe she should feel sorry for clocking Kyle, but she didn’t. “You saw him?”
Nate nodded. Looking wary, he gestured toward her. “I noticed you brought your gun.”
Robin reached behind her and touched the weapon at the small of her back. He must have seen it when he came up behind her.
“You didn’t come out here to use that, did you?”
He said it jokingly, but she saw genuine concern in his eyes. “On myself? Not hardly.”
“Good.” Relief was plain on his face.
“I might want to use it on you, though.”
He stilled, his eyes narrowing. “You want to shoot the messenger?”
Earlier, when he had first broken the news about catching Kyle with another woman, she had been too rattled to follow up, but not now. “You knew the woman with Kyle was my sister.”
“Not until a year later.”
The image of Kyle and Wendy together had rage driving through Robin like a spike. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? At the police station?”
“I would have, but you shot out of the stairwell straight for Emrick.”
“Why was it a year before you found out?”
“That was the first time I spoke with Kyle after the wedding. He called to see if I wanted some OSU football tickets and I asked if he had come clean with you yet.” Nate watched her carefully. “That’s when he told me who he’d been with the day of your wedding.”
“Why didn’t you let me know then?”
“He said he told you. I believed him.”
“A cheater. You believed a cheater.”
“Even if I hadn’t,” he said softly, “I couldn’t just call you up and say oh, by the way, Emrick was doing your sister that day in the church.”
“Why not?”
He arched a brow. “Would you have believed me?”
“Good point,” she admitted grudgingly. She had thought Nate the biggest jerk on the planet back then. “Probably not.”
But she also knew that if it weren’t for him, she would never have found out. Tonight, Wendy had sworn she planned to confess everything at some point, but Robin didn’t believe her.
Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she threaded the reins through her fingers. “What did you say that convinced him to call off the wedding?”
“That if he didn’t tell you what he had done, I would.”
She understood why Nate hadn’t, understood he’d been lied to as well, but she felt a pang of hurt anyway.
How messed up was it that the man who had destroyed her wedding was the one who was with her right now? Checking on her, making sure she was all right.
Nate wasn’t to blame for anything that had happened. In fact, his actions had stopped what would surely have been a disaster of a marriage. Her anger at him drained away and she had an insane urge to walk right into him and hold on tight. “I’m not mad at you. If it weren’t for you, I still wouldn’t know what happened at my own wedding.”
She looped the reins over the mare’s head, allowing the animal to graze for the time being. “I called Wendy earlier, but I couldn’t talk long.” Her legs felt weak, and she curled one hand into her horse’s mane for support. “She apologized more than once, but I couldn’t listen to her voice.”
“Too soon.”
The steady look in Nate’s eyes reminded Robin he had experienced something similar.
“Yes. Every time she said she was sorry, it made me even madder.”
Nate propped one hip against the wooden gatepost, hands in the pockets of his navy slacks. She noted absently that he still wore the same clothes he’d had on earlier. Hadn’t he been home yet today?
As soon as she had gotten to her house, she had stripped out of her work clothes and pulled on an old pair of jeans and a tank top.
“She said she moved to Tulsa because she couldn’t look at me without feeling guilty. She wanted to drive over tonight so we could talk face-to-face.” Robin gave a half sob, half laugh, appreciating the understanding and patience in Nate’s blue eyes.
“I’m not ready. The whole thing makes me sick to my stomach.”
“Understandable,” he said quietly, his voice a soothing rumble against the chirp of crickets and the slight rustle of wind through the grass.
“I suppose I should be glad she actually regrets what she—they—did, but it’s too little, too late.”
Robin’s gaze locked on Nate’s. What if she could never get past this with her sister? “Maybe I should’ve said I forgive her.”
“You just found out three or four hours ago, Robin.” He sounded impatient. Angry even, but she knew it was anger on her behalf, not aimed at her. He reached out as though to touch her, then pulled back and shoved his hand into his dark thick hair. “Give yourself some time.”
“How much?”
“As much as it takes. Hell, woman, it took five years for them to tel
l you the truth.”
“And it’s only thanks to you that I found out at all. I do want to thank you.”
He looked uncomfortable. “I wish I hadn’t needed to say anything.”
“So do I, but if you hadn’t, I would’ve married the jerk and he would probably still be sleeping with my sister,” she choked out.
Tears welled in her eyes, spilled over despite her best effort to stop them. She swiped furiously at them. She didn’t want to cry in front of him. She didn’t want to cry at all.
Nate murmured something as he snagged her hand and tugged her into the hard length of his body. One strong arm slid around her waist. As much as Robin hated doing it, she buried her face against his chest, unable to stifle the sobs wrenching out of her.
To his credit, he didn’t seem freaked out by her tears. His other hand curled around her nape, his voice soothing beneath the sound of her crying.
She should probably move away, but she didn’t want to. For the first time since she had learned about her sister, she felt as though her world had stopped rocking. She had something solid to hold on to. Nate.
As much as it had hurt to learn the truth, Robin recognized full well that he had saved her from an even greater heartache and years of misery. Not only that, but he had tried to protect her from the hurt caused by her sister, too.
She pressed herself tighter against him, drawing in his tangy masculine soap, the scent of fabric softener. As much as she hadn’t wanted to believe it all these years, he was a nice guy.
Warm, slightly rough fingers stroked her nape, melting away some of her tension. From above her, his voice came low and calming. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“I know.” She flattened her palm against the steady beat of his heart. He had been protecting her for five years, still was. “I know that. You’ve been a good friend to me, even though I treated you like dirt.”
“No, you didn’t.”
She pulled back to give him a look.
“Okay,” he admitted with a half smile. “Once or twice.”
“You could’ve turned your back,” she said shakily. “Forgotten what you walked in on that day. No one would’ve known if you had kept it to yourself. The easy thing would have been to say nothing.”
“After what I saw, I couldn’t stay quiet.”
A swell of fresh pain had her biting back a moan. “Sorry. I can’t seem to stop crying. It was five years ago, for Pete’s sake.”
“You’re entitled, sweetheart. What you found out was a betrayal of the worst sort, no matter when it happened.”
Of course he understood, Robin thought. His wife had done the same thing to him.
“I know.” She sniffed, wiping her eyes. “Doesn’t mean I want to bawl all night.”
“No one will know.”
“You will.” For some reason, the thought of that really bothered her.
“You just don’t want anyone seeing you,” he said with a grin. “It’ll be our secret.”
Another secret with him, like the elevator incident. Had it only been this morning when that had happened?
His gentle touch, his muscular arm around her was doing funny things to her stomach. She told herself to pull it together.
“Do you think this is weird?” Her voice was muffled against his shirt.
“That you’re crying all over me?”
“All over the man who stopped my wedding?” Who saved me. She could no longer think of him as the man who had ruined her life, could she?
“No, it’s not weird. Well, maybe a little.”
She gave a watery laugh.
With one hand still curled around her nape, he tilted her chin up with one knuckle, rubbed a thumb across her damp cheek. “Are you okay?”
“I will be.” His touch set off a vibration deep inside her. And a staggering realization.
She felt stronger. Steady. Because of Nate. No man had ever done that for her. She was responsible for herself. Feeling this way about him confused her. Sent a burst of panic through her.
She stepped out of his hold, registering a sharp tug of longing at the loss of his soothing touch. “I just need some time to deal with all this.”
As they looked at each other, a strange pulsing moment stretched between them.
The moonlight softened the blunt angles of his stubbled jaw, turned his eyes midnight blue. Dark. Dangerous. She wanted to touch him, stroke his face. More.
Why did she feel as if she were sliding out of control whenever she was with him? Just as she had in his truck earlier when he had kissed her. When they had kissed, she amended. She had been right there with him.
That had done as much to shake her up as what she had learned about Kyle and Wendy, albeit in a very different way.
If Nate kissed her again, she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to resist. Or even want to.
As much as she might wish to, she couldn’t ignore their kiss. “I also need some time to deal with what happened between us earlier.”
He frowned, then realization spread across his face. “You mean the kiss.”
She nodded.
He stared out at the night-silvered pasture. Finally, he looked at her. “You want me to apologize?”
“No,” she said quickly.
Quickly enough that he gave her a slow grin. “Good, because I wasn’t going to.”
Heat flushed her face and she was glad he couldn’t see how red it must be. “That’s not what I meant at all. I just think it would be best if we kept our minds on the case for the time being. Stick to work.”
“Business only, huh?”
“Yes.” It sounded so blunt, so final. She didn’t want that, but she kept it to herself.
Silence ticked between them. After a moment, he nodded. “You’re right.”
“I am?” The thoughtful look on his face had made her think he wanted to discuss it further or even protest. She must have misread that.
She squashed a flare of disappointment. Work only. This was what she wanted, what he said he wanted, so what was her problem?
She knew what it was.
She had severely misjudged him. What he had done for her showed the kind of man he was. The kind of man she hadn’t expected. The kind Robin could easily fall for.
She shouldn’t romanticize his actions. Because of his character, he likely would have done the same for anyone he thought was being treated badly. Still, it made him even more compelling. Harder to resist.
They had kissed and it had been great. Except for the part where she had felt completely unlike herself. Reckless, wild. Helpless to say no the entire time his mouth had been on hers.
Robin didn’t like that. At all.
Five years ago, he had turned her world upside down. She had vowed to keep a tight grip on the reins. And she had.
Until he walked back into her life and turned it upside down again.
Chapter 8
Three weeks later, Nate stood in the living room of Terra and Jack Spencer’s house, along with about thirty other people attending a surprise party for Robin.
The birthday girl had told him she wanted things between them to be only about work for the time being. So far, the “time being” had been twenty-three days.
It wasn’t that he was gauging the time that had passed since the day they had kissed. That had been day four of their working together, the day she had learned about her sister and her ex. Rather, he was aware of the time because he, like Robin and Collier, had been counting the days until the Mailman’s next fire, and today was day twenty-seven. If the pattern held, there would be another fire tonight.
Nate had spent the last few weeks with Robin and Collier recanvassing neighborhoods, reexamining files and interviews, tedious grunt work. The times he and Robin were together were all about the job. Tonight wasn’t, and he wondered if he had made a mistake by coming, because the investigation wasn’t holding his attention right now. But Robin was. She had been since she had walked in wearing a slim-fitting turquoise dress
that skimmed her lush curves.
The bodice molded her full breasts then tapered in at her small waist, the gentle flare of her hips. The square neckline drew attention to a smooth expanse of rosy-gold skin and a hint of cleavage. Enough of a hint to make Nate sweat.
The whole picture—the sable cloud of hair sliding around her shoulders, her misty blue eyes, those spiked heels that made her bare, tanned legs endlessly long—had his chest going tight.
He again noted the scar on her right leg, pinkish beneath her tan. What had caused that? It sure didn’t detract from how great her legs looked.
Gage Parrish’s voice reached through the haze of lust. “It’s amazing, the reason you finally caught that torch in Chicago was because his car tag was expired.”
Determined to concentrate on the conversation with the former Oklahoma City fire investigator who now owned and ran a private arson investigation company, he nodded. “By then, we had identified our suspect, so when Chicago P.D. stopped him, the officer knew the guy was wanted.”
“Gage has told me about the case.” Meredith Boren Parrish walked up beside her husband, her gaze measuring. “Good work.”
“Thanks.” Nate hid his surprise at the compliment. At Robin’s wedding, he had been the groomsman assigned to walk the blonde doctor down the aisle. As one of Robin’s best friends, he figured Meredith thought he was dirt, too. He hadn’t been sure what to expect when she had joined her husband and Nate.
“I’ve been following the Mailman cases in the paper.” Gage slipped an arm around his wife’s waist and they shared a look of pure joy, a look Nate had rarely seen between married couples. Certainly never between him and his ex-wife. “Sounds like you’ve got your work cut out for you.”
Nate nodded then asked the other man about his business. As the conversation continued, Meredith occasionally participated.
Every couple of minutes, Nate found Robin. Once across the wide living room by the patio doors. Again as she moved toward the kitchen, stopping to chat with guests along the way. When she walked into the house, she had appeared genuinely surprised about the party. The open, unguarded smile she had given everyone had him wishing she would smile that way at him. And only him.
He dismissed the thought. They weren’t going there.
