by Debra Cowan
“Detective?” A young female paramedic checked Robin’s vitals. “Are you still dizzy?”
“No, I’m fine now.”
“Okay.” With a smile, the paramedic moved away.
Several feet away, Nate now stood talking to Pattie Roper. A couple of times, he glanced over at Robin. She could read nothing on his face or in the eyes hidden behind his sunglasses.
She wanted to thank him for helping her. He probably would have preferred pushing her over the ledge, she thought wryly.
She watched as Pattie Roper walked over to her.
“You saved my life.” The woman’s voice shook. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Instead of being irritated over getting knocked on her dizzy butt, Robin was grateful that Nate had been there to help her. “I suspect you owe more thanks to Agent Houston than me.”
“That’s what he said about you.” Pattie gave a teary smile.
Warmth spread through Robin. “Oh.”
He had saved both of them. Not bad for a day’s work, she thought. After hugging her, the other woman left with the waiting paramedics.
Robin’s cell phone vibrated and she pulled it from the pocket of her slacks. It was her captain. As she reassured him she was fine and that the Mailman had been apprehended, her gaze slowly scanned the roof for Nate.
She didn’t see him anywhere among the growing number of law enforcement personnel.
Flipping her phone shut, she walked to the air-conditioning unit where they had started. He wasn’t there, either. He was gone. Without a word.
There was a hollowness in her chest. Deep, sharp. How could he have just left?
Well, after what she had accused him of, why wouldn’t he?
Pushing him away had been a huge mistake. As had not admitting her feelings earlier.
She was in love with him.
For a second, she couldn’t breathe. She was in love with Nate Houston.
For five years, she had blamed him for ruining her life. She knew now that he had been protecting her, that he had saved her from marrying a cheat. And despite that, panic had driven her to accuse him earlier.
After her wedding-that-wasn’t, she had vowed to control every part of her life. She had done it so well that all she had now was that control. And an aching emptiness.
After wrapping things up at the scene, Robin pulled up at Presley’s police department. It was just before noon. With everything that had happened that morning, it seemed as though four days had passed rather than four hours.
When she finished with Roper, she intended to talk to Nate. Well, grovel was more like it.
Just as she started to open her car door, she saw him walk out of the police department. He headed toward his SUV, which sat in the shade beneath a tree at the opposite end of the parking lot. Her gaze moved hungrily over his long-lined athletic frame, from the strong column of his neck, to his hard chest, down his powerful legs. She liked the way he walked, his stride easy and confident.
He would need her reports in order to finish his own paperwork for the task force, but he obviously wasn’t going to wait around for them. She considered and dismissed waving him down. She didn’t want to start a conversation here. It was too public. Plus business needed to come first.
Nate climbed into his truck and drove away. Her chest squeezed hard. What if she had ruined everything? A paralyzing chill came over her. She couldn’t bear the thought that she might have driven him away for good. One thing gave her hope: he hadn’t left the crime scene until he had made sure she was okay. She held on to that.
Her interview with Roper went quickly, especially once she learned Nate had gotten a written confession from the guy. Roper wasn’t a copycat and hadn’t held a grudge against Nate. He’d learned about using chlorine powder and petroleum jelly as an accelerant from an article in the newspaper. What were the odds the guy had decided to use that same method on a case Nate was assigned? Weird.
Two hours after watching Nate walk away, Robin stood on his front porch. She was relieved to see his SUV in the driveway. She hadn’t called to make sure he was home. She was afraid he might not answer. Or that if he did answer, he would tell her not to come.
The sweat slicking her palms wasn’t caused by the midday heat. She rang the bell and a few seconds later the door opened. He wore the same navy polo shirt with the fire marshal’s emblem and navy slacks she had last seen him in. His eyes flared hotly when he saw her, then his face closed against her. Robin could read nothing on his implacable features.
“Did you come to give me copies of your reports?”
“No.”
He arched a brow, his body rigid. Waiting.
She couldn’t lose him. He had to hear her out, let her explain. “You said if I decided I could trust you, then I should find you. That’s why I’m here.”
He looked skeptical. “A few hours ago, you were pretty damn sure you didn’t trust me. I have trouble accepting that you changed your mind so fast.”
They still stood in his doorway, cool air wafting out to mix with humid heat. “I’d like to apologize. And explain.”
“That isn’t going to change the fact that you actually believed I interfered with your job.”
She had hurt him even more than she realized. What if he turned her away? The same sharp hollowness she’d felt when he had left the crime scene bored through her.
“Please.”
After a moment he nodded, but rather than invite her inside the house, he stepped out, closing the door behind him.
Robin tried not to read anything into that, like perhaps he was shutting her out of his house and his life for good.
“All right.” Face guarded, he folded his arms.
Her throat suddenly dry and tight, she licked her lips nervously. “You said I have a control issue and you’re right. First, I apologize for ripping into you. Also for jumping to conclusions, instead of asking you about your conversation with my boss. Deep down, I knew you hadn’t gone behind my back or messed with my job.”
Blowing out a harsh breath, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Is this where you get to the explaining part? Because I was there and you sure seemed to believe it.”
“I was wrong to make you feel that way. I used that as an excuse to push you away. I…panicked.”
His gaze lasered into hers as he leaned one shoulder against the door. Despite the tension pulsing between them, he was still listening.
“When Captain Hager told me you had talked to him about a new assignment, I was overwhelmed. I don’t know if he made it sound as though it were a done deal or if I just perceived it that way. Regardless, I made assumptions I shouldn’t have. After I left this morning, I took a long, hard look at myself.”
He said nothing. Robin trembled. He had every right to tell her to get lost. She didn’t want to give him the chance.
“What happened with Kyle threw me into a tailspin. The rejection, the emotional chaos affected me more than I would ever have thought possible. The only way I seemed able to move on was to order my life.”
“Start controlling things,” Nate said.
“Yes, especially my emotions. Then you came along. All of a sudden, I couldn’t control anything. Not the past. Not having to work with you, not my vertigo, which just made me feel even more helpless. Then when we got physical, I was completely swept away.”
His eyes narrowed. “You can’t hold that against me.”
“I don’t. That isn’t what I mean. I’m trying to explain how I felt. It was as though you were controlling all of me, as though I were being manipulated. The last time I felt that way was at my wedding. It scared me to death, and when we made love last night, I realized I had feelings for you that I haven’t ever had for anyone.”
“Except Kyle.”
“No, anyone.” She wanted to touch him, but Nate’s stance clearly warned her off. “It freaked me out.”
“No kidding,” he muttered.
She was really screwing this up
. “What I said to you this morning was wrong and I’m sorry. I’m afraid I may have ruined everything. The thought of walking away from you terrifies me more than the possibility that things might not work out with us. A bigger mistake than the one I made this morning would be not to come here and ask for another chance. Not to tell you—” Tears blurring her vision, she swallowed around the lump in her throat. “I love you, Nate.”
He finally moved, closing the distance between them and nudging her chin up with one knuckle. His blue eyes were tender. “I love you, too,” he said softly. “But I’m not sure that’s enough to make things work between us.”
In an instant, her joy changed to ice-cold fear. “What do you mean? You can’t forgive me?”
“There’s no need. I understand why you said what you did.”
“Then what is it?”
He brushed his thumb along her bottom lip. “It’s my turn to explain something to you.”
She nodded, going still inside. Refusing to even think that this could be the end for them.
“When you accused me of going behind your back, I remembered all the times Stephanie did that to me. All the times I trusted her when she was lying. After a while, I didn’t trust anything she said, not even the smallest thing, like going to the store.”
Raw emotion edged his words; his eyes were troubled. “Sweetheart, if you can’t trust me, we have nothing to build on.”
Hope bloomed inside her. “If I didn’t trust you,” she said softly, cupping his jaw, “I wouldn’t be baring my soul to you.”
“I get why you panicked.” He pulled her close. “I never thought I would want to take a chance on a relationship again, either, but I do. With you.”
“Me, too.” She slid her arms around his neck. “Kiss me.”
“I want forever, Robin. I don’t want to scare you off, but you need to know that’s how things are for me.”
“Surprisingly, I’m not spooked.” Awed, yes.
His arms tightened around her. “You can have time to get used to it, as much time as you want, but I’m not going anywhere. I need to know that you aren’t, either. I want to hear you say it.”
Robin’s heart clenched with a sweet pain as she recognized the same vulnerability, the same naked need on his face that she felt. “I’m not going anywhere.”
The panic she would have felt in the past didn’t come. She rolled up on her tiptoes and kissed him.
“When you’re ready to marry me, you let me know.”
Her breath caught. Drawing back to look into his eyes, she waited for the dread she had expected to feel if she ever fell in love again. It wasn’t there. Instead, there was a bone-deep certainty that this was right. “Yes, I will.”
“You will what? Marry me or let me know?”
“Yes.” She tugged his head down to hers, but he stopped before their lips touched. She huffed out an exasperated breath. “Nate.”
He grinned. “When you decide to accept my proposal, you better be prepared to go through with it, because I won’t make the mistake of leaving you at the altar.”
“You could get a lot closer to the altar if you would kiss me now.”
So he did, long and slow and deep. As he swung her up in his arms and headed inside his house, she murmured against his lips, “Okay, I’m ready to go through with it.”
And two months later, she did.
Epilogue
On a sultry evening in mid-August, Robin stood in the bride’s dressing area of a small church. Her gown was a strapless sheath in blush pink, a pale shade of the bridesmaids’ deep pink dresses.
It might have been only two months since she and Nate had realized their feelings, but they had shared every part of themselves with each other, good and bad. As a result, Robin was even more sure that she and this man belonged together.
She watched in the full-length mirror as Meredith put the finishing touches on her hair, pulled up on the sides with a thin headband of crystals, leaving her hair to cascade in curls down the back.
Terra fastened the string of pearls belonging to Robin’s mom, who was doing a last-minute check with Wendy, to make sure everything was in place. Robin’s sister had seemed touched and surprised when Robin had asked her to be a member of the wedding party. Robin was glad Wendy had accepted; it was a big step in their new relationship.
“You look perfect.” Terra stood behind her, meeting her gaze in the mirror. Her friend’s green eyes were teary.
Meredith stepped inside and closed the door, coming over to hug Robin. “I never thought you’d consider marriage again let alone do it. I’m so glad you did. Are you nervous?”
“Yes, but not because I’m wondering if this is right. It’s because I’m excited, if you can believe it.”
Her friend smiled. “Everyone has been seated. Kiley’s down the hall helping Collier with his best man duties.”
Terra fussed with the necklace clasp. “I saw Walker and Jen McClain in the chapel, and also Clay and Shelby.”
Terra’s cell phone rang. After a brief exchange, she hung up. “That was Jack. He said Nate’s SUV is covered in shaving cream and shoe polish. He parked our car on the other side of the building for you guys to use. I’ll put the keys in your purse.”
“Thanks, both of you.” Robin hugged her two friends.
Orchestral sounds of the classical piece she had chosen to begin the wedding floated down the hall. Nate’s sister and brother-in-law were also in the wedding party. Becca picked up Robin’s bouquet and handed it to her.
After a quick hug, Becca opened the door. Robin’s mom and Wendy each kissed her cheek, then the bridal party made their way down the hallway to the building’s foyer and chapel.
Her stomach fluttered. This was really going to happen.
At the first notes of the wedding march, she rounded the corner and stopped in the doorway of the chapel. Surprised to see Nate, her eyes widened.
With an arrested stare on his face, he came to her, murmuring, “You look incredible.”
“Thanks.” Wanting to laugh with joy, she whispered, “What are you doing?”
“Waiting for you. I didn’t want you to have to wonder if I was at the altar.”
Tears filled her eyes. She had reassured him again and again that she wouldn’t have flashbacks to the wedding-that-wasn’t. She remembered it, sure, but she now thought of it as a pit stop in the broken road that had brought her and Nate together.
His gesture, so typically thoughtful of her feelings, made her fall even more in love with him.
He took her hand, brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “I have no doubts about marrying you, and I don’t want you to have any about me.”
“I don’t.” Her throat tightened. “Not one.”
“I want to walk down the aisle with you,” he said softly.
Incredibly touched, speechless for a moment, she clutched the hand that still held hers.
“Your dad said he doesn’t mind if you don’t walk with him.”
“Nate Houston, don’t you dare make me cry.”
He grinned. “So that’s a yes?”
She nodded, adding a tremulous, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” His eyes smiled into hers. “You ready?”
“Yes.”
Lacing her fingers with his, they walked toward their new life together.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-5029-5
THE FORBIDDEN BRIDE
Copyright © 2010 by Debra S. Cowan
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