As I help him set out glasses for the wine, I think back to when he talked about walking away when this ended. He said it so casually it was like a splash of cold water on my face. Except it wasn’t supposed to be. After all, he’s right when he said I’m with him because he’s smart and funny and the sex is great. The only thing is, I’m not sure he can leave my life like he was never here. I’m not sure I can ever let him go.
Chapter 19
Two months later, I sit in my dressing room, five minutes away from climbing the stage, and for the first time in years, I feel myself getting just a little bit of stage fright. All this because Jake finally said yes to attending one of my shows. It’s not the first time I asked him, but he always told me he was too busy or had other plans, and to be honest, I tried not to feel just a little bit hurt by that. Then he told me Rayne’s birthday is coming up, and he needed a really cool birthday present for her. I like Rayne. She keeps me company whenever I come to the club, and she’s always nice and cool around me. We have even become kind of friends, and one time, when I went to the club hoping to surprise Jake only to learn he wasn’t coming in, Rayne and I spent the whole night just chatting. She seems to know a lot about Jake, and I’m happy to talk about him. So, I had no problem giving him the tickets, but only on the condition that he also came along. He grinned and said okay. Then he bent me over his couch and thanked me properly for the gift. Five minutes ago, he called to say that he and Rayne were already in the concert hall. I asked if they would like to come with me, but he said they were going for drinks before they came.
Staring at myself in the mirror, I tell myself to snap out of it. Jesus H. Christ, it’s like I’m playing in those divvy clubs again, trying to impress the crowd. Only this time, there’s just one person I’m trying to impress. The door opens and I whirl around, eyes wide in bewilderment that quickly turns to relief when I see it’s just Jane.
“What’s wrong with you?” Jane asks, staring at me strangely.
“Nothing.” I turn back to the mirrors, checking to make sure my makeup is still fine. It is.
“Jake is already here. He asked if he could come check up on you, but I told him after the show.”
“Good.” I nod, still feeling nervous. “I don’t think I can see him now.”
“Katie.” Jane sits on the arm of the couch and tugs at my hand. “What’s wrong?”
“I think I have stage fright,” I blurt out.
“What?” she looks suspiciously at me. “Please, don’t tell me it’s because of Jake.”
“I don’t know.”
“Oh Christ, it’s because of him, isn’t it?” She reaches for the lower drawer of my dressing table and brings out a bottle of Jack Daniels. “I can’t remember the last time you needed a drink to take the edge off before a performance. And I can’t believe a guy is making you nervous. We’re not in high school, Katie.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I take the shot she places in my hand but don’t drink it. “What if things go bad? I mean, it’s a show; things go wrong in shows.”
“And what if they do? You know that’s not the issue, the problem is why does it bother you so much not to look bad in front of this guy? He is just the guy you’re banging, remember?”
I look up at her. “I don’t think he’s just the guy I’m banging anymore.” I throw back the shot and grimace as it burns my throat. One shot is all I used to need. Not enough to get drunk or even tipsy. Just enough to tell myself I’m in control, and it seems to work because I calm down a bit.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“That I went ahead and fell in love with my one-night stand?” I laugh at myself. “Yeah, how stupid is that?”
“It’s not stupid, and to be honest, I’ve known for quite a while now.”
“How long have you known?”
“The morning after the second night you spent in his place.”
“What? That’s not possible.”
“Just goes to show you I know you better than you know yourself. And as much as you like to tell yourself otherwise, and all the songs about having flings left and right, I’ve always known you can’t have an affair with someone you’re not emotionally invested in. You going back to Jake the second time just told me it was only a matter of time before you fell in love with him.”
“Then why didn’t you stop me?” I ask quietly.
“Because you said he was funny and smart. Because you said he made you laugh, and I could see that made you happy. Because I didn’t get creepy vibes when I met him and because I think you also deserve true love.” She moves close to me. “Look, I know I’m your manager and the fact that your music is the most important thing in your life is great for me. But I am also your friend, which means I want you to be happy. It means I also want you to find what I found with Travis. A man who would make you happy. Not that I’m saying you need a man to make you happy. Just that you didn’t close yourself to the possibility of it.”
I wrap my hand around her neck and hug her. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, hon.”
“Not sure it worked out how you hoped it would though. I don’t think he likes me quite as much as I like him.”
“And you’re sure about that?”
“We don’t go out, apart from the club. Sure, we talk and have fun in private and spend hours on the phone. But it’s always in this private world where it’s just the both of us. And he doesn’t stop reminding me that this is just a fling. I had to blackmail him into accepting this ticket.”
“Maybe it’s just because you’ve not demanded more from him. Travis’s birthday is this weekend, and I’m throwing him a small party. Just you and a couple of our friends. You can invite Jake, see if he wants to come or something.”
“Maybe.” I glance at my phone and see I’m already a few minutes late. “I guess we can talk about this later.”
“Are you sure?”
I grin at her and nod. “I am. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’m KD, remember?”
“You’re goddamn right you are. You go out there and blow his mind away. Make him regret every time he ever refused to attend your show.”
“You know what? That’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
A knock at the door, and one of the set guys reminds us that I’m needed on stage. Jane yells at him that we are coming.
“All right, here we go.”
I suddenly hug Jane quickly and let go. “I couldn’t have asked for a better friend, and don’t worry, I’m going to find what you have with Travis. Just maybe not with this guy.”
Then I quickly walk out of the dressing room and out to the stage. And the instant I hear those thousands of fans scream out my name, I remember I’m here for all of them too. Not just the sexy man sitting on the middle seat of the first row, clapping and cheering at me. Grabbing my guitar, I check to make sure the mic is okay. After a quick apology and few minutes of banter with my fans, I launch into my first set.
Chapter 20
I mop sweat from my forehead and empty my second bottle of water after the performance. There’s something different about this performance. Apparently, there’s something about having someone to relate to when I sing some of my more sexually charged lyrics. I can’t count how many times my eyes met Jake’s as I talked about rocking some guy’s world. I literally stared into his face for half the length of a song. I hear a knock at the door and turn around.
“Who is there?”
“Katie?”
My eyes widen as I jump to my feet and stare at myself in the mirror. I don’t look good.
“Come in,” I say defiantly.
He opens the door and steps in, a small smile on his face.
“Hey,” he says as he stares at me.
“Hey,” I reply back, suddenly not as confident. There he is, looking all sexy in his leather jacket and T-shirt with my face on it. And me in clothes still wet with sweat and my face still blotchy. “Uhm, how was the show?”<
br />
He doesn’t answer for a few seconds. He turns around and locks the door, and I narrow my eyes, wondering what he’s about to do. And realizing that whatever it is, for some reason it’s getting me aroused.
“I used to hear my friends talk about the sexual tension in a rock concert and assumed it was all the drugs talking.” He begins to walk toward me. “Now, I’m starting to think that you’re the fucking drug, and I swear to God, you just gave me the longest boner of my life.”
“Jake . . .”
“You don’t want to do this, you tell me to turn around and get out of your dressing room.” He keeps on stalking me, and that’s the only way I can describe the way he’s walking toward me. It’s like I’m his prey, mesmerized by the potent look of desire in his eyes. “You’ve got just a few seconds more.”
“Jake . . .” I manage to say, brain too befuddled to figure out what I want. And too aroused to care that Jane can come back anytime.
He gets to me, grabs me and locks my lips in his, his tongue spearing into my mouth as he kisses me roughly. Like a match to gas, I respond to that kiss by grabbing a fistful of his shirt and kissing him right back.
“Oh god,” I moan when he spins me around and bends me over my dressing table. He pulls my pants down, and I help him get them around my knees. Then I hear him unzip his, and I shudder in anticipation. “Quickly,” I beg, feeling a trickle slide down my thighs.
“Just a second,” he replies.
I feel the tip of his cock nudge the entrance of my pussy, and I swear to god I purr like a goddamn cat. Then he’s inside me, and we’re both moving now, groaning and moaning as we move together. It’s quick and fast. His hand on my mouth to muffle my screams as I explode around his cock. A few seconds later, I feel him bite down on my shoulder, and I swear to god, it’s more than the feeling of his cock throbbing between my legs as he shoots his seed inside me that pushes me over the edge one more time.
Both of us pant as I lean my head on my dressing table, wondering what the fuck just happened.
“Are you okay?” I hear him ask, and he sounds so hoarse I can’t hold back a smile.
I nod. “You?”
“I think I just had the fastest and best sex of my life.” He pulls out and beginss to dress himself again.
I turn around and lean against my dressing table. After this, I’ll need to take my bath, but for now, I love the feel of him inside me. I’m on the pill, so I’m not worried about getting pregnant or anything. The small pang of regret I feel at that scares me, so I push my mind away from it.
“Where is Rayne?”
“She’s waiting for me.”
“Do you need me to arrange a car for you?”
He smiles and kisses me on my cheek. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine. You need to rest. I’m guessing Jane should be coming back any minute now. I saw her backstage talking with your drummer.”
“That’s her husband.”
“Oh.” He nods.
“His birthday is this weekend, and Jane is throwing a party for him. Do you want to come?” I blurt the thought out before I can talk myself out of it. “It’s a small party. Just a few friends, and you don’t have to come if you don’t want to. And I don’t know why I even asked you since . . .”
“Do I need to wear a suit?”
I blink. “What?”
“I’m asking if this is one of those fancy parties where I have to wear a suit. I need to know so I can go shopping for one.”
“You don’t have a suit?”
“I have the one I wore to my grandpa’s funeral, but that was like five years ago, and I don’t think it still fits.”
I suddenly realize how big a step this is for the both of us. “Are you sure you want to come? I mean, a lot of people I know will be there. Ava and the squad.”
“Any reason why you don’t want me to meet your friends? I imagine they already know about us.”
“They do, and I don’t mind you meeting my friends. You’re the one who’s always saying this is a fling.”
“Sure, because that’s what you wanted.” He moves close and takes my hand. “I’m not the star here, Katie. You are. I may call the shots in the bedroom, but outside it, you’re the one who decided how far this goes. So, if you want me to come to your friend’s party, I don’t mind. If you don’t, you let me know. I promise not to cry.”
I smile because he’s grinning at me. “No suit. You can dress casually.”
“Cool.” He quickly kisses me and takes a step back. “Rayne is waiting for me, so I got to run.”
“All right. Tell her happy birthday for me and sorry I couldn’t see her before she left.”
“Are you kidding? You just gave her the best birthday of her life. You have no idea how many brownie-points those tickets have given me. Trust me, I plan to reward you for that later.”
I grin. “I thought you gave me my reward a few minutes ago?”
“That? Nah. That was just me telling you I think you were so hot and amazing on stage I spent the whole time thinking about banging you in your dressing room.”
With a quick wave, he opens the door and ducks out of my room. I watch the door close behind him and after a few seconds make my way to the bathroom.
Chapter 21
“Either you’ve been lying to us, or that’s not the same Jake you talk about. God, he’s even sexier in person.”
I turn away from watching Jake to face Ava. “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it?”
“What’s more ridiculous is that you think you can just bang him and say goodbye to him when you want to.”
“Are we talking about him?” Violet joins us at the kitchen window, and before I can even turn around, all six of us are standing at the window watching the men stand around the grill, doing whatever it is men did near grills that make them look ever sexier than they do in person.
Like Jane promised, it’s just a small party. I’m glad for that since I’m still not sure about Jake meeting my friends. So far, things are going great, and I realize that while I was so worried about making Jake comfortable, I forgot he’s a guy, and guys don’t approach these things the same way girls do. I mean, two minutes after I walked around introducing him to everyone, he and the rest of the guys abandoned us to fawn over Travis’s new grill.
“Next time we throw a party and you invite him, we have to make sure it’s a pool party,” Heather says.
“Back off,” I warn her with stern look.
She grins at me. “Hey, he’s yours in the bedroom, but you can’t stop me from looking. I’ll fight you for that right.”
“Am I the only one annoyed that those idiots have paid more attention to that thing than they have to us all afternoon?”
Heather’s husband is one of those idiots, and we smile. Mostly because she always vacillates between complaining about him paying her too much attention, which she loves, and him not paying her enough attention, which she pretends is a relief to her.
Jane pulls out the tray of buns, ready to take them out. “Maybe if you let him get one, he wouldn’t spend so much time admiring Travis’s.”
“Are you kidding? Let Joe have a grill? The man burned his hand while changing a light bulb.”
“I think we’re moving off topic here,” Phoebe calls everyone’s attention to order. “We were talking about Katie’s man.”
“He’s not my man,” I reply glibly but can’t hold back a grin.
Ava smirks at me. “After hearing the things you two do, I think he is your man. The question is, why you think he is not.”
I catch Jane’s eyes before I reply. “He is not my man. We just have sex.”
“Like a friends with benefits thing?” Violet asks.
I think about that. “I guess.”
“Only you guys got the order wrong. You started getting the benefits before you became friends.” Jane winks at me as she hands me a bag of buns. “Come on, let’s get there before those men start shoving meat in their mouth and washing it down with beer
.”
Together, we carry the buns and condiments out to the backyard of Jane’s house. As soon as I walk out of the house, my eyes fall on Jake. He’s laughing at something Travis is saying, and again, I’m surprised by just how easily he has assimilated into the group. He must feel my eyes on him because he looks up and gives me a small smile before turning to flip over the steak on the grill. I feel my heart flutter in my chest. Not in an “I love him way”, because I don’t. No. It’s more in a “he is just way too sexy” kind of way. Ava stops behind me and leans in to whisper into my ear.
“You sure you guys are friends with benefits? Because that smile on your face screams more than just friends with benefits to me.”
I turn around and grin at her. “Yeah, it’s screaming friends with amazing benefits.”
Walking to the table, I drop the buns in my hand and grab a bottle of beer then walk to Jake.
“What does a girl have to do to get some meat around here?”
“You realize there are people around, right? I didn’t know you were into the whole public sex thing.”
My eyes widen as I realize what he twisted my words into. “Is there anything you guys can’t turn into a sexual innuendo?”
“I don’t think so,” he replies as he begins to slap a burger together for me. “Although, you talking about meat kind of made it easy.”
I look up to see Travis and Jane chuckling on the other end of the table. Jake hands me my burger on a plate, and I thank him.
“Hope you’re enjoying yourself?” I ask.
He nods. “Sure. Travis is cool. I guess it’s been a while since I’ve been at a barbeque party. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I bite into my burger, and it’s so good I make a noise in my throat. When I look down, it’s to find Jake smiling at me. “What?”
“You really love your meat, don’t you?”
“Shut up.” I punch him playfully.
“Come on.” He grabs his beer and mine and leads us to one of the chairs.
Taming His Rockstar Page 11
