by Joe Bruno
“Don't worry, we have plenty of spare bikes,” Heather said. “The main thing is for all us to stay healthy, by working out five days a week and by eating properly.”
“Why don't you all go into the living room for a few drinks, while Junior and I finish making dinner,” Lily said. “The kids have already set the table and they are both freshening up.”
Junior and Lily disappeared into the kitchen, while the four grandparents went into the living room.
“You three sit. I'll make the drinks at the bar,” Heather said. “Vodka martinis as usual?”
“Make mine white wine,” Big Fat Fanny said.
“Yeah, she'll have a case of Pinot Grigio,” Tony B said.
Another Big Fat Fanny elbow to Tony B's ribs. “Don't be cute.”
Tony B winced. “Meengya, she's putting dents all over my body.”
Tony B and Big Fat Fanny sat on a jumbo white leather couch. Hung Far Low sat in a white leather love seat opposite them.
Heather came over with a tray of drinks and handed them out. “Two Sky Vodka martinis for the men. Two white wines for the ladies.” She sat next to her husband on the love seat.
Tony B took a sip of his martini. He spoke to Hung Far Low. “You know, thinking back over the years, we are really lucky my son and your daughter hooked up in the first place. The last twenty-something years, you and me have done nothing but sit back and rake in the cash.”
“Yes, we have been extremely lucky,” Hung Far Low said. “Under our children's management, our businesses have prospered, without even a hint of violence. Not one person has been killed on either side in over twenty years. I don't count the crazy Fukien gangs who sell all the drugs. My Chinese crew has nothing to do with them anyway.”
“That's right,” Tony B said. “Maybe we've issued a few beatings to those who got out of line, but nobody's died on either side in a long time. And in our business, that's fuckin' amazing.”
“Hey, watch your language,” Big Fat Fanny said. “There’s ladies in the room.”
Tony B bowed. “Sorry, I was getting better at watching my tongue, but that one slipped.”
“From now on, I want five bucks for every curse word out of your mouth,” Big Fat Fanny said.
Tony B pulled a roll of bills from his pants pocket. He counted out five twenties and handed them to his wife. “Here! That should cover me for the next half hour or so.”
Big Fat Fanny took the cash and stuffed it into her bra. “Don't worry. I'll let you know when this runs out.”
Tony B took a sip of his martini. “Getting back to what I was sayin'. The fact remains all the other Italian crews, in New York and in New Jersey, have been whacking each other left and right. Over stupid stuff. Mostly drug related. Something we don't get involved in at all. And because we ain't into drugs, we don't have no rats either. All the other crews have been singing like canaries.”
“Yeah,” Big Fat Fanny said. “I haven't whacked anyone in such a long time, I probably forgot how to do it.”
“I doubt that,” Tony B said. “Besides, with all the weight you lost, where would you hide the weapons anyway?”
“Keep it up,” Big Fat Fanny said, “And I start practicing on you.”
“Keep it up? Now who's talking dirty? Give me five bucks.”
“Take a walk,” Big Fat Fanny said.
Hung Far Low sipped his martini. “But you are right, Mr. Tony B. Since we both laid down the law against dealing drugs so many years ago, things have gone rather smoothly for us. The Chinese gangs in other cities are either killing each other, or their members are doing long stretches in prison.”
Junior entered the room. “OK folks, dinner's ready. Let's abscond into the dining room.”
They all stood and followed Junior into the dining room. The rectangular table was set for eight. Tony B and Hung Far Low sat at opposite heads of the table. And their wives sat to their right. Four carafes of red and white wine dotted the table.
Lily and Junior entered the room carrying platters of foods. Junior put one platter between his father and Big Fat Fanny. “Whole wheat Lasagna. Just like you like it.”
Lily placed a large platter between her father and Heather. “Home-made Chicken Chow Mein. The very best in Chinatown.”
“What are you guys eating?” Tony B said.
“The same as the kids,” Junior said.
Junior Junior and Tanya came into the room, each holding two hot plates. “Steaks, medium rare coming up,” Junior Junior said. “With asparagus hollandaise.”
He placed two plates on the table in front of his parents. Tanya placed the other two on the table in front of her and her brother's chairs.
Tony B poured himself and Big Fat Fanny each a glass of red wine. “Oofah, look at this. From Lasagna to Chicken Chow Mein. And now to good old American steak dinners. What a great world we live in.”
Hung Far low poured white wine into his and his wife's glasses. “Yes, our cultures are foreign and different. But now, thanks to our children, we have assimilated our families into the mainstream of America.”
“Almost the mainstream of America,” Junior said. “Our family business isn't exactly US Steel Corporation.”
“It's more like US Steal Corporation,” Tony B said.
“That ain't funny,” Big Fat Fanny said. She poked her elbow into Tony B's ribs.
“My freakin' ribs again,” Tony B said. “You gotta stop poking my freakin' ribs.”
Junior clinked his fork on his glass, like they do at weddings. “Listen up people. We do have one slight problem. Maybe two slight problems.”
“I don't think I want to hear this,” Tony B said.
“It's not the end of the world guys.” Junior said. “But this is something we'll have to address sooner, or later. Otherwise...”
“Otherwise what?” Big Fat Fanny said.
Tony B turned towards his wife. “I think the otherwise may mean you'll have to polish off your guns and sharpen up your knives again.”
Junior took a sip of wine. “It may not come to that. But let me start at the beginning.”
TO BE CONTINUED AT A LATER DATE.......
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