Finding My Pack

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Finding My Pack Page 31

by Lane Whitt


  "What book is that?" I ask, taking a bite of toast. "Where did you get it?" I rack my brain, trying to remember if it's something I've read before.

  Finn must notice my expression because instead of answering, he asks his own question. "Why do you ask, Kitten?"

  I stare at the symbol on the cover. I've seen it before. I know I have. It's very distinctive, two wolves, one small white one and one big gray one, each reared up their forepaws holding a shield.

  The shield has a big letter 'I' in the center of it, crossed with two swords. I chew my lip, flipping through my mental images.

  "Oh..." I say, not really speaking to anyone.

  "What? What is it, Kitten?" Finn asks frantically. "Have you seen this before?" He points to the symbol. Silverware clatters to plates and I feel all their eyes on me. How can this be? It can't possibly be a coincidence, can it? But if it's not....then what does it mean? Does it mean anything at all?

  "KITTEN!" Remy barks my name. Making me jump, but it brings me out of my thoughts.

  "Yes, I've seen that before. It's on my baby blanket. The one the crazy cat lady said she found with me in the dumpster. The one that's still in my treasure box."

  I jump in my seat again as eight big males fly out of their seats, all heading for the doorway at once. What the heck is going on?

  I run after them, wide awake now. The fast bastards are already in the room, opening my treasure box and digging through it when I enter the room. My hands go to my hips as I call out for them to. "STOP! Stop it right now." They freeze, going still as stone.

  I exhale harshly. "That's better. I don't care that your paws are all over MY stuff, but handle it with care or get out of the way." I tell them.

  Everyone backs away, sitting on their knees, except for Jace. He turns back to my treasure box and places everything on the floor like it's made of glass. I nod my head and sit as well. Much better. The blanket is in the bottom, wrapped up in a few grocery store plastic bags. It was once white and fluffy, the symbol embroidered into the middle. Even since I've had it in my possession, it's deteriorated. I've never washed it, fearing it would fall apart. I never even knew if it was really mine, or just something that was found with me.

  "It's the same crest." Finn says to the others. He's right, it's the same symbol as the one on the book.

  "What's a crest?" I ask.

  "This is a family crest, Kitten. It belongs to the Ivaskov family. They have the longest werewolf lineage known. It dates back to Remington's time. The alpha of that family has always been the one to run the Mating Games as well. They are a powerful family Kitten. The strongest of the born wolves, and have the biggest pack. They are considered Royalty to us." Tristan tells me.

  I frown, biting my bottom lip as I take a moment to think about that. "But that doesn't explain how I got their blanket. Or how the blanket got into the trash if it wasn't mine."

  Remy shakes his head, looking to each of the others before his steel gray eyes fall on me again. "I'm sure it's yours, Kitten. With all that's happened, it's the only thing that makes sense."

  "What does that mean then?"

  "It might mean that you belong to the Ivaskov family. It might mean that one of their pack members are your parents. It might mean that the Ivaskov family was responsible for throwing you in the trash. We just don't know. It just means that you have had a connection to werewolves since you were born." Remy explains.

  "The guy you had pinned against the car said that they could smell her. That they just wanted to investigate." Jace throws out.

  "Yes, but we know he was lying about that." Tristan counters.

  "We've never been close to a female wolf before. Maybe that's why we're all so attracted to Kitten. Why we are so enchanted by her scent." Reed says.

  "I've done the blood work. She shows no sign of being a wolf. I think you're all overlooking the most obvious thing here, she doesn't change into a wolf." Kellan says. I agree with him. No way am I a wolf, right?

  "According to the book that Kitten found, born wolves don't have their first shift until puberty. But that would still mean that Kitten would have shifted by now." Finn informs us.

  "She was underfed, in a constant state of worry and panic. It may be possible that she just couldn't." Kellan shrugs. "Maybe it's a learned type of thing. No one taught her so...." He holds his hands out.

  "Wouldn't I know if I was a wolf?" I question. "Wouldn't I have recognized you guys as wolves or something? I didn't find out until later."

  "Well, when you think about it...you kind of did, Kitten. I mean, you got comfortable with us pretty quickly. You instinctively push your face into our necks, like wolves do for comfort. Even when we are in wolf form, you do it. The natural reaction for humans is to be afraid of us, you never were. Your first thought was to take care of Finn, when you should have been afraid of him, people just don't do that with wolves Kitten." Tristan tells me.

  "You're also possessive as fuck, and protective of those you care about." Ash says. His rumbly voice sounding unhappy at the prospect of me being one of them.

  "Those things could be explained away by the way she grew up. She's possessive because she's never had much, protective because no one ever looked out for her." Logan reasons, but he looks excited for some reason.

  "Stop. Everybody just stop. This is getting us nowhere, it's all speculation." Remy commands.

  "Uh, well...doesn't Finn have a book?" I ask shyly. Finn rolls his eyes and walks over to me, kissing my temple.

  "She's right, I'll get the book. Be right back." He says and runs off.

  Logan moves to sit next to me. I rest my head on his shoulder, needing to be close to him. "I could have lost you crazy boy, don't get hurt anymore okay?" I say in a low tone, just for him to hear.

  He chuckles, his laugh already sounding better. "I wasn't trying to get hurt silly girl, but I'll make sure it doesn't happen again, just because you said so." I nod my head. "And when are you going to stop referring to us as boys?" He asks, making a face that makes me giggle.

  "Probably never. You're all MY boys. You're my crazy boy, or fun boy." I tell him.

  "You have nicknames for us?"

  "Well yeah, you all call me many different things. It's only fair. And it's only in my head usually."

  "What are the others? I have to know this shit. Mine are cool ones, I get crazy and fun, which is me in a nutshell." Logan's eyes light up. So he likes what I call him in my head huh?

  "Well Ash is My Shadow. He asked me not to call him a boy directly. Remy is My bossy boy, Reed My sensitive boy, Finn My smart boy, Jace is my Golden boy...." I trail off as Jace and Reed crack up laughing. Obviously they've been listening to our conversation.

  I glare at them. They could have had the decency not to laugh at me. "Oh, come on Kitten, you have to finish the list." Jace calls.

  I shake my head. "No, it's my names for you guys, I shouldn't have shared them out loud. Sharing only leads to being laughed at." I pick at the pants I'm wearing before bringing my knees up to my chest.

  "They didn't mean it like that sweet girl." Tristan says as he sits next to me, pulling me into him with one arm. He's used his kind voice on me and I melt into his side. I can't stay mad when he fills me with so much warmth.

  "You're my sweet boy." I whisper to him.

  He smiles his perfect-Tristan-smile and bends to my ear. "Good, because you're my sweet girl." I turn my head and kiss his soft lips. I lose myself in Tristan until someone clears their throat. Oh! I forgot others were here for a moment. I blush eight kinds of red and bury my face into Tristan's neck. Somehow, I ended up on his lap.

  Finn returns with the book and we all gather around him. I squirm around, bouncing my leg impatiently as he reads. It's a thick book, lots of information in there. Information I'd like to know. Like right now. I poke my head around him, glancing at the page he's on. I nudge him with my elbow, trying to hurry him along.

  Finn eventually sighs, looking up from the book. "Do you want to...
" He doesn't get to finish his thought before I snatch the book into my lap.

  I hear several chuckles as I flip back to the front, glancing at each page briefly before flipping it. It takes me less than fifteen minutes to finish 'reading' it. I kiss Finn on the cheek and hand it back over. Standing, I move further away from them so I can process what I just saw, taking the time to read the images in my head now.

  I don't know how to read family trees, so I just skip over that part. Finn can explain it to me later. He was wrong about the book being a history of werewolves, it's just the Ivaskov family's history. It seems as though at one point, it was translated into English as some of the sentences didn't make sense. The family started out with a long history in Russia but moved here after what they called 'The Suffering'. Based on what Remy told me, they were talking about the plague that wiped out most female werewolves and left them barren.

  The family made it their mission to find a way to procreate. The Ivaskovs’ were, and are, the most exclusive family or pack of wolves. Their bloodlines are what they call 'clean', meaning all born wolves. There is an extensive trial period for you to be able to join their pack, and even if you pass it, if they don't like you, you still don't get in. They have the largest army of the packs and are fierce in battle.

  To me, they sound like a bunch of Adams and Kaitlynns. Not to mention that I think one of them probably wrote this and might be just a teensy weensy bit biased. What interested me more, was the chapters on individual Ivaskovs, especially the more recent ones. There was 'The Grandfather' who has lived longer than any other born wolf. He is said to be kind as well as very harsh in his punishments. Packs from all over the world sought his guidance while he was alpha. He lost his wife in 'The Suffering' but not before she gave birth to two sons and three daughters. Two of his daughters were also lost during that time.

  The surviving daughter is known as 'The Beauty' for it's said that no wolf can match her in attractiveness. The eldest son is known as 'The Fair Prince' even though he took over as alpha when his father stepped down. He was dubbed that because he believed in equality amongst wolves. He was a born humanitarian to both wolves and humans. He was also a scientist and found out how to narrow down human women that were capable of surviving the change, thus creating more female Wolves.

  The other son was or is, called by his name which is Marcus. Some refer to him as the second son. He was almost as strong as his brother in wolf form, and resented him for being named alpha by their father. He isn't very well liked, but he is respected and feared by many. He also tried to marry their sister so that they could have 'pure Ivaskov blood'. Luckily for the sister, his brother shot that down, and it didn't take place. She, instead married an alpha of a rival pack, thus creating an alliance. Four pages have been ripped from the book in that section from the end.

  I skipped over the parts about mating and bonding, since that isn't relative to what I need to know. I wish I knew when the book was written, it didn't say and I'm unaware if any of the people mentioned in the book are still alive or not. I liked reading the short bios of them, imagining what it was like to live in their time. Like Ivan 'The Conqueror' who was the fiercest warrior of his day, who first formed the Ivaskov family, only accepting the best males and females into his pack. Not only the strongest, but the kindest, the most beautiful, the most talented, and the smartest of wolves. He created an entire empire. How cool would that be!

  "Earth to Kitten, Kitten are you there?" Logan waves his hand in my face, bringing me back from planning world domination.

  "Huh? What?" I reply elegantly.

  He laughs. "Have you heard anything we've been saying?" I shake my head. Nope, not a word.

  "We were saying, Miss Kitten, that we think we've figured out why wolves in general are so attracted to you." Remy says, obviously disapproving of my daydreaming.

  "Oh, why?" I ask, tilting my head.

  Finn shakes his head. "The research that this 'Fair Prince' did, indicates that female humans who can survive being turned to changed wolves, smell differently than other humans. Almost like they are calling out to them. Wolves have different reactions to them, ranging from instant connections, to recognizing an immediate threat. It depends on the dominance of the wolf and would-be wolf. The closer they are in dominance, the harder to bring the two together, when the wolf's dominance far outranks the would-be wolves, the wolf seeks to protect the would-be wolf, and so on."

  I blink at him. What the heck did he just say? "Um...okay, so I smell then. Right. That's why you think.....what exactly?" He could not be any more confusing if he tried.

  Ash huffs. "He's saying that you attract wolves with your scent. That you are able to survive being turned. He's saying you're a fucking walking talking target." Ash's voice rises as he continues to speak.

  "But you said that human women die once bitten." I state, I know I remember Remy telling me that.

  "But some don't." Jace says. "The book says it's in your DNA or something. Very few of you are left, and the ones that are still around, they know what they are and refuse to have children. Were children or human children. They see us as evil."

  "Why would they think that?" I ask. My boys aren't evil.

  "Because after the plague, wolves descended on human females like flies on shit. This was before the Fair Prince's research. Thousands died, the ones who turned wish they had died because they were either taken forcefully, or sold to the highest bidder and forced to bond."

  "Do you mean like....uh...rape?" My face is red as I ask, but I have to know.

  "Some were, yes." States Remy. "But that's not what bonding means. Mating to us is like marriage is to humans. Bonding is....like becoming one being. Your souls align, your heartbeats synchronize, and it is said that when two perfect mates bond, that they can thought-share."

  Okay, I have too much information to process right now. I'd ask another question, but I fear it would only lead to five more questions. There is still one I need to ask though. "So who came after us last night? What did they want? If it was just to turn me like you said, they had the opportunity."

  "Shit, she's right." Logan says.

  "I have a lot more work to do to get to those answers Kitten. I promise that I will find them for you." Finn tells me.

  "I'm not sure I really want to know. There is so much information and I'm not sure how it all connects. My last question is this....what do we do now? I don't want to be taken away, or changed and forced to bond." My body shudders at the thought.

  "We will keep you with us, Kitten. I promised you that already and I meant it." Remington says sternly. "Why don't you come take a nap with me yes?" He does look tired. I still am as well.

  "Can Ash come too? I want to make sure he sleeps too." I don't know if I should have asked that, but Remy smiles and nods.

  I look to Ash. "Want to come nap with me?" I bite my lip, hoping he says yes. I want him near me right now.

  Ash grins broadly. "Only if we can bring AJ with us."

  ……..

  I came to bed with Remy and Ash but I can't seem to sleep. They were both asleep before their heads hit the pillows. I took turns watching them sleep, memorizing each one of their features, loving how both of my scary boys look so young and peaceful in sleep. They must have stayed up all night to be this tired.

  I don't know how I feel about what I've learned today. I think I need more questions answered for that. They say that my baby blanket really is mine, but we still don't know how the Ivaskov crest connects back to me. I think it's a tad farfetched for me to be part of their family. Something tells me a family like that doesn't make a habit of throwing away their babies. With power in the wolf community, it also stands to reason that I wasn't stolen from them.

  But if I'm not part of their family, how did I end up with the blanket? If the Ivaskovs' are responsible for throwing me away, then why leave a blanket that leads back to them? What would be the point? The other option was what... one of their pack members did it? Still, why
leave the blanket. The thing I really don't understand here is, don't they need females? If I belong to any Werewolf family, wouldn't I have been wanted? Just for being a girl?

  I guess I could be one those able-to-be-changed females. I guess I wouldn't know since no one told me. Still, the Ivaskov's are werewolves and they would have wanted me. But even if you look past that, they said women like that KNEW they were werewolf bait. How did they know? How could they tell the wolves 'No' when they wanted to have children with them? Why are there so many questions? Where do we get the answers?

  "The prisoner..." I whisper out loud.

  "What?" Ash grumbles.

  "Nothing, go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you." I whisper back.

  "No, it's okay Miss Kitten. I think we've gotten enough sleep for now. Any more and we wouldn't sleep tonight." Remy says from my other side.

 

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