Adele nodded slowly. “Ja. Bratwurst. You would like some? I can share.”
Nate smiled. “Sure, we’ll share, too.”
The other girls eventually warmed to Adele, but she remained close to him and Nate. Especially Nate. Where Jonah always seemed to trip over his own words, his best friend always knew exactly what to say. So he had won her.
Jonah looked at the ground. Nate should still be here to take care of her. But God had used the war to take him, too. He loved her so much. How could I have married her? His face quickly darkened. What choice had he been given? If it had been up to them, Daniel and that Dr. Kelly would have sent him to that asylum, and he could have lost the farm. Adele said if she were there all the time to take care of him, they might back down. And the only way for her to be at the farm all the time … I’m so sorry, Nate. It was the only way.
He heard the kitchen door and looked around the trellis. Adele had walked into the house with her water and come back out to look up at the sky. She closed her eyes and breathed in the crisp morning air. He marveled at how such a tall, capable woman could still look so sweet and delicate. Guilt squeezed at his heart, and he leaned back against the house. He had no business even thinking things like that. He’d made a promise, and he had to stick to it.
He straightened. There were chores to do, and besides, Adele had brought her Bible out with her. Even though they had only been married for a few days, he knew she read it every morning and night without fail. Why was beyond him. When she lost Nate, she had lost their farm as well and had to scrape by for who knows how long. How could she turn to a God who had taken so much from her? As he started to walk off, his foot tangled in the vine, causing the trellis to shake.
“Is someone there?”
Jonah winced, turned around, and walked toward where his wife sat on the porch bench.
“Oh, Jonah.” She smiled as he drew close, and his heart began to pound. Her eyes flitted to his gun. “You had a good walk?”
He gave her a curt nod and turned to leave, but she laid a hand on his arm. He frowned, tightening his grip on his rifle. “I have to get to the chores before breakfast, Addie.”
“Can you not sit for a moment?”
He swallowed. Her accent wasn’t so thick now, but her voice was no less musical. “We need to get more fields plowed before the rain comes.”
Adele looked at him with amusement as she stood. The faint smell of soap and lavender he breathed in as she brushed past made his head spin. She looked at the blue that had begun to unfold across the sky and then back at him.
“I can smell it in the air,” he explained.
She smiled. “You are so much like your father. He always knew such things.”
Jonah said nothing, and he saw her take a deep breath as she stepped over to him.
“I found his Bible this morning,” she said. “Can I put it in your room?”
“No. Leave it in the parlor. I don’t need it.”
“There are notes and letters in it. I thought you might want to look—”
“No, Adele! Leave it in the parlor.”
Her lovely features fell, and she nodded. He looked away, regretting his sharpness. But the suggestion had sparked his anger. He had no desire to look at those letters, and she knew it. “I need to get to the chores. Is Jake up yet?”
“Yes. Will arrived a few minutes ago, and they are milking the cows.”
Jonah nodded. Their other hired hand, Will Reid, had taken Adele’s son under his wing, and Jonah was glad. The boy was eager to be a farmer, like his pa had been. But he looked and acted so much like Nate—dark hair, lanky, and talkative—it unnerved Jonah.
When Cyrus arrived, he’d send him to check on them, and then he and Cyrus would set to work feeding the pigs and sheep. He much preferred the older man’s company. Cyrus was hardworking and as silent as a dried-up creek bed. He had appeared in Ostrander out of the blue a few months ago and settled along the banks of the creek, relying on trapping, hunting, and what Jonah gave him in trade for his work to make a living. He had thinning hair and dark eyes and didn’t associate much with anyone else.
“I’ll have Will come up later to plow the kitchen garden,” Jonah said. He began to walk away when Adele spoke.
“Jonah.”
He stopped and turned to see her approach.
“Let me take your gun into the house.” She raised her hands, and Jonah’s grip tightened on his weapon.
“No.”
Her lips formed a thin line. “Surely you do not need it to do the chores.”
“It stays with me,” he snapped and strode toward the barn.
Adele watched him leave, then placed a hand to her forehead. She had not really wanted to take it, but better with her than with him out in the fields so near her son. Even if Jonah did keep the percussion caps in his pocket, she still hated the thought. What happened to make him think it must always be with him?
Sighing, she picked up her Bible from where it lay on the bench and took it into the parlor so she could read it after supper. Her brow wrinkled at the sight of Joseph Kirby’s Bible lying on a side table. Adele knew better than to try to foist scripture on Jonah. She knew from experience it would be the last thing he wanted. But she had at least hoped he would be open to looking at the letters and notes his father had kept there.
As she walked back to the kitchen, she recalled how Jonah had looked up to his father. Joseph Kirby had been a good man, a godly man. He and Jonah had been very similar in viewpoint and temperament. Had been. Now Adele could sense anger threaded into almost everything Jonah said. An anger he refused to let go or speak of … even to her. Even though he had never been a very verbal man before the war, he had always been open with her.
She took the biscuits from the cast-iron oven, slamming the door shut in frustration. She couldn’t stand seeing him like this. If I could just get him to talk, I could tell him how it was for me, she thought as she laid the biscuits in a cloth-lined basket. Sighing, she set them aside and took two eggs from the basketful she had collected. An idea sprang to mind, and a hopeful smile flitted across her face.
She took several more eggs and cracked and beat them in a large earthenware bowl. Setting them aside, she laid bacon in a skillet and set it to fry on the stove. As it cooked, she quickly chopped potatoes and onions and set them to fry as well. When the bacon was done, she chopped it and added it to the beaten eggs before pouring the mixture in with the potatoes and onions. Bauernfrühstück, farmer’s breakfast, was a recipe she had taught Jonah’s mother, Dorothy. Adele remembered Dorothy saying how much her sons had loved it, especially Jonah. Maybe making it now would remind him of better times. Times he was willing to talk about. Thank You, Father. Surely this idea was from You.
While she was still cooking, Will and Jacob came in with full milk pails. “Good morning,” she said. “How are the cows this morning, Jacob?”
“Will says I’m getting better at milking, Ma!”
“Aye, ma’am, the lad is coming along well,” Will said. He took his straw hat from his dark hair, and his blue eyes smiled at her. “I spoke with Mr. Kirby just before we came in. He and Mr. Morgan will be along in a bit. We’ll just wash up at the pump.”
“Will, tell me another story,” Jacob said as they stepped out the door.
Adele smiled as she set the food on the table. Will had come over from Scotland just a few months ago and seemed to have an endless supply of tall tales. He lived with their neighbor, Ben Carr, east of the farm.
She placed a plate of bauernfrühstück at each place and added the biscuits, honey, and jelly, along with the strudel she had made a few days ago. She returned to the kitchen to strain a pitcher of milk, and when she returned, she was surprised to see Jonah standing at the head of the table. She swallowed a gasp at the look on his face. He shook himself as she gently set the pitcher down on the table.
“You taught Ma to make this,” he said softly.
“I hope you still like it,” she
replied.
He looked at her, and for an instant his green eyes held no hurt or anger.
Her heart pounded, and as she opened her mouth to talk about the day she had shown his mother how to prepare the dish, his eyes darkened and he looked away.
“Need to wash up,” he muttered and brushed past her.
Adele sat down. For a split second, he had been Jonah again. The man I once knew is still there, Father. Please let me find him. She was still praying when the men came in and sat down, and she quickly looked up to see Jacob smiling as he took the seat next to her.
“Uncle Jonah said I could say the prayer.”
Adele glanced up at her husband, who would not meet her eyes. “Very well, Jacob.”
Once Jacob had thanked the Lord, the men began to eat.
While Jacob, Will, and Cyrus voiced their approval for the bauernfrühstück, Adele could not help but notice that Jonah stopped after a few bites. She laid her own fork down in frustration, but when Will cleared his throat, she turned to see a question on his face. Adele gave him a small smile and nodded.
The young man looked at Jonah. “Sir, if I might be so bold to ask … that bit of property in the northwest corner, what might you be planning on doing with it?”
Adele watched Jonah’s face stiffen before he replied. “Haven’t given it much thought. Why?”
“I was wondering if I might rent it from you.”
“No.”
Will blinked. “Sir?”
“No, Will. That’s the end of it.”
Adele looked at the young man sympathetically. She had encouraged him to approach Jonah about the land, never dreaming he would refuse to rent to the young man. He so wants to be his own man as Nathaniel had …
A sudden thought leaped up in her mind. “Will, I know of some land you might rent.” He looked at her hopefully, and she continued. “Mr. Carr owns a pleasant piece of land not very far from our own fields. It belonged to my late husband and me at one time.” Adele could feel eyes on her and saw Jonah staring at her in incredulous reproach. She looked back at Will. “I think the house and small barn he built still stand. They will need work, but it would save you from having to build ones of your own.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” Will smiled broadly. “I’ll speak to him this evening.”
“I hear Ben Carr is selling or renting all that property his uncle left him,” Cyrus said. “Going back west once everything’s settled.”
Adele watched her husband bristle at the mention of Elijah Carr. He and the Kirby family had never been on good terms. Before his death, Mr. Carr had owned almost all the land along Mill Creek and tried on many occasions to buy the Kirby farm. Joseph Kirby hadn’t even been buried a month when Carr rode over and offered to buy the land from Jonah.
Nathaniel had been there when Jonah turned him down and told Adele about it later. He couldn’t imagine Jonah being able to keep up with the farm with Daniel off at school and Toby so young. “You remember how angry Jonah was when Daniel left?” When Adele nodded, he’d continued. “He was easily twice as angry as that.” A frown had creased his normally cheerful face.
“What is the matter, Nathaniel? Jonah did not strike Mr. Carr?” she’d asked.
“No!” he’d said quickly. “No, it’s just I don’t like seeing him so angry. It’s not like him.”
No, it is not like him, Adele thought as she looked at Jonah. How sad Nathaniel would be to see him now.
“I’m sure Ben Carr’s keeping a good deal of it,” Jonah said with a black look. “Wouldn’t be like any of that family not to.”
Adele frowned at her husband. “You are being unfair, Jonah,” she said. “You should not paint him and his uncle with the same brush.”
“I have always found Mr. Carr to be a very fair-minded man,” Will said, not noticing the hard looks she and Jonah were exchanging. “Just the other day a lad came along—” Cyrus nudged the young man, and looking up, Will quickly decided to pay closer attention to the rest of his breakfast.
They ate in silence for a few minutes more before Jonah pushed back his chair. “Time to get to it,” he said. He reached for his rifle as Jacob and the other two men filed out, but he paused in the doorway.
Adele said nothing at first and began to clear the table. But when he continued to remain silent, she stopped what she was doing and looked at him. “What is it?”
“How can you stick up for Carr?” he snapped. “His uncle all but robbed you of your land when Nate died. And how could you tell Will about it? Nate worked hard on that house for you.”
“I know he did. That is why I spoke. Nathaniel would not want to see his hard work come to nothing. And as for Ben Carr, I will not stand by and watch someone be marked for who he is related to. Or where he is from.” Adele felt her cheeks grow hotter as she remembered how she had once acted toward Katherine. She reached for Jonah’s plate. The food had hardly been touched. “I am sorry you did not care for your breakfast.”
“I wasn’t hungry,” he muttered and strode out the door.
Chapter 3
Stop, don’t go up there!”
Adele quickly rose from her bed, roused from her sleep by Jonah’s yell. He was having another nightmare. Pulling on a robe, she left her room, walked across the hall, and knocked loudly on his door in order to wake him. Within a minute or two, she heard the creak of floorboards and felt certain he was awake, perhaps sitting on the edge of his bed.
“Jonah,” she called.
“What!”
She jumped, his voice was so harsh and ragged. Drawing a deep breath, she sent up a quick prayer. “You are all right?”
“Fine. Go back to bed.”
“I could make you some warm milk. …”
“Leave me alone!”
She turned and found Jacob standing in his doorway. He looked frightened and opened his mouth to say something, but Adele raised a finger to her lips and led him to her room, shutting the door behind her.
“You must be quiet, mein Liebe,” she whispered.
“Uncle Jonah scared me,” he whispered back.
“He is very troubled.” Seeing the stricken look on her son’s face, she grasped his hand. “What is it?”
“I don’t think he likes me.”
“Why do you say this? Of course he does.”
“He won’t show me how to do anything. Whenever I ask, he tells me to have Will show me. But he doesn’t always know. And Uncle Jonah won’t tell me about Pa.”
She hugged her son and pressed her lips together. She had never imagined Jonah would be so cold with her son. “He does not want to talk about him yet. But you can ask me.”
“But you’ve told me all your stories. I want to hear his.” He pulled back and looked up at her. “I don’t like him this way. I wish he would go back to the way he was before.”
“You were so very young then, mein Liebe.” Jacob had only been about four when Jonah left to join up. “What do you remember?”
He shrugged. “Just how he looked, really. He smiled more. He never smiles now. Can’t we ask him not to be so angry?”
Adele gave the boy a small smile. “I remember you asked that of me after your pa died. But it did not help, did it?”
The boy shook his head. Then a light came to his eyes. “But I prayed for you. And that sure worked.”
“Then we will pray for Uncle Jonah now. Would you like that?”
Once they had lifted up their hearts to God, Jacob went back to his room, convinced the prayer would work wonders. But Adele found herself wondering. Was Jonah’s heart already too hardened? Would she ever see him smile again or speak a kind word? Would he ever stop feeling the need for his gun?
When they had married, she had not imagined he would be this bad. Daniel had been right. She had not known the half of it. Reverend Warren had warned her that she was making herself unequally yoked, and now she frowned at her resolute answer. “His faith still lives somewhere in his heart,” she’d declared. “God will help me
find it for him.”
Father, what else could I have done? She knew the answer. She had been so sure that Nathaniel would have wanted her to help Jonah in any way she could, but she had never inquired of the Lord. She should have gone to Him first. I am sorry, she prayed. Even as You worked through the mistakes of Abraham and David, I know You can work through mine.
But in spite of her prayers, she wrestled with her worries about Jonah far into the night. Eventually she passed into a fitful sleep.
As she went to work on the kitchen garden the next morning, she found it hard not to yawn. She looked down on the row of carrots she had just planted, kneading the small of her back. The kitchen garden was coming along well, even though it had been several years since she had planned and planted one. Jonah had been sure to give her everything she needed—a brand-new hoe, a rake, and seeds.
Thoughts of him caused her worries to reassert themselves. Adele set her jaw and tried to get her thoughts to settle elsewhere. She moved to start a new row, this time peas. I remember when Jacob used to help me, she thought as she reached into her pocket for seeds. Before the war, when her son was small, he would follow her and drop the seeds into the furrow. He was always very careful, as if the seeds were made of bone china. How Nathaniel would laugh as he watched him. Jonah, too …
She bit her lip as she caught herself thinking about Jonah again. Father, help me give my worries for him to You. As if in answer, she heard a sound behind her. Turning, she almost gasped with surprise.
A little girl stood next to one of the purple coneflowers in the adjoining flower garden. She had shoulder-length strawberry-blond hair, and her brown eyes took Adele in with wonder and a hint of fear.
Adele blinked, making sure her lack of sleep from the night before wasn’t playing tricks with her eyes. She gave the child a gentle smile. “Hello, little one. Who are you?”
The girl said nothing and continued to stare at her.
Adele gently laid her hoe aside and slowly started toward her.
The fear in the girl’s eyes grew, and she backed up a step.
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