by Mia Ross
When Tucker plunked himself down at her feet, she looked up to find he wasn’t alone.
“Hey there.” Sitting at the other end of the swing, John got it moving with a slight push of his feet. “Whatcha doin’?”
“Learning how to make Jell-O cake. How ’bout you?”
“Nothing.” His eyes lit on her outfit, and he chuckled. “Going to yoga or something?”
Leave it to John to notice the oversize T-shirt and capris she was wearing. Rather than take offense, she decided to shrug it off. “I had half a day off, so I’m chilling.”
She waited for him to bust her again, but he seemed to have lost interest in razzing her. Dropping his head back, he stared up at the roof beams and groaned. “I’m bored. Right about now, we’re usually eating barbecue leftovers and cleaning up.”
“Poor baby. There must be fireworks going on somewhere.”
“Yeah.” He sounded as enthusiastic as if she’d suggested he read War and Peace for amusement. “Up at the lake.”
He punctuated the lackluster comment with the biggest sigh she’d ever heard, and she couldn’t keep back a smile. He made her think of an antsy little boy hunting for something to do. “Why don’t you call one of your girls and head out to watch the show?”
Since he didn’t reject the notion immediately, she congratulated herself on coming up with a decent idea. When he turned to her, the mischief glinting in his eyes made her cautious. “What?”
“Wanna come out to the lake with me?”
“Me?” Bewildered, she shook her head. “Why me?”
“Why not you?” he countered, the glint broadening into that full-on country-boy grin. “Come on, Panda. It’ll be fun.”
“I don’t know. Folks will talk.”
“Who cares what they think?”
“I do.”
“Since when?” he challenged. “You always did exactly what you wanted, no matter what anyone thought.”
“That was a long time ago. Things have changed.”
“Not in Harland,” he reminded her. “Unlike the people you’ve been hanging out with in L.A., these folks actually like you.”
John gave her one of those aggravating grins, and she felt herself wavering. Apparently, her foot-dragging was trying his patience, because he shrugged. “Okay. See ya later.”
He stood and started toward the steps.
“You’re still going?” She heard the whine in her voice, and it sickened her. She wasn’t the kind of woman who connived to get a man’s attention. What on earth was wrong with her?
Angling a glance back at her, he said, “Sure. It’s a good idea.”
“Yeah, it is.” She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done something spontaneous like that. Just went somewhere and enjoyed herself, for no reason other than it would be fun.
Pausing with one foot on the top step, the other on the next one down, he pinned her with the kind of look no mortal woman could resist.
“Knock it off, Sawyer. I’m immune, remember?”
In response, he cocked his head in a remarkable imitation of Tucker, and she couldn’t help laughing. Marking her place in the magazine, she got to her feet. “All right, all right. I’m coming.”
“Yeah.” He gloated as he slung an arm over her shoulders. “I knew you would.”
She elbowed him in the ribs, and he grunted but didn’t move his arm.
“What was that for?” he asked, rubbing his side.
“For being you.”
“But you love me,” he argued as he slid open the end door of the barn.
“To a point. But I should warn you that I earned my black belt in jujitsu out in L.A. You’d do well to remember that tonight.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Bowing, he motioned her to go ahead of him. Once they were inside, he grinned in at her, eyes twinkling with a fondness she’d seen more frequently lately. She knew she was tempting fate by going out with him, but it had been so long since she’d had any fun, she decided she didn’t care.
On the other side of the barn, a paint-spattered tarp covered her wreck of a car, and through the connecting door, she saw something that made her jaw drop. “Is that a plane?”
“That’s Ridge’s pride and joy, Ann Marie. He wanted to name her after Marianne, but she had a cow, so he switched it up. He and Kyle are restoring it.”
A biplane, like the kind they used in old World War II movies, it was mostly in one piece, the exterior a patchwork of rust and body filler. Amanda wasn’t mechanically inclined, but even she could see there was a gaping hole where the engine should be. “Where does he find time to work on it?”
“Here and there. He says it’s almost done.” John cast a dubious look at the plane. “I have to take his word on that.”
Amanda laughed. “He seems like a good guy. Seth, too.”
“They are, straight down to the ground. They fit right in around here.”
She thought he was going to say something else, but apparently he changed his mind and headed for his beloved 1962 Triumph. She wasn’t big on classic cars, so why she remembered the year escaped logic. Maybe because it had been important to him, that detail had stayed tucked in with the other cherished memories of her country boy.
“I can’t believe you still have this thing.” She ran a hand over the headrest on the passenger seat. The cracks in the leather were a little deeper, but she’d sat in that seat enough times to know it was the same one.
“I’m not done with it yet,” he explained as he opened her door. “Matt and I just did a ton of frame- and bodywork, and the engine runs like clockwork. Now I’m working on the extras.”
Glancing back, she noticed that the finish was mostly primer gray, with patches of several different kinds of red paint. She couldn’t resist teasing him a little as he settled into the driver’s seat. “I like the paint combo you’ve got going. Classy.”
“Well, it’s not a Mercedes or a Beemer, but I like it.”
When he frowned, she realized she’d insulted him. Worse, she’d insulted his car, a major faux pas with any guy. Feeling bad, Amanda quickly said, “It’s a fabulous car, John. I was only joking.”
That seemed to soothe his wounded pride, and he started the engine. Easing the little convertible out of the barn, he headed up the driveway. “I know it looks weird, but I can’t pick a color from those little paint chips. I thought this would help me decide what works best.”
“That makes sense.”
In California, she’d driven nothing but convertibles, to take advantage of the nearly flawless weather. BMWs and Mercedes, as he’d mentioned, and her favorite—an almost intoxicating Porsche. She loved that car so much, she’d actually wept when it was repossessed and a flatbed came to take it away.
As the passenger, she felt obliged to make conversation. It was a good twenty minutes out to the lake, a long way to ride in silence. “Remind me where you got this again.”
“Matt and I found it along the road when we were coming back from a Panthers game in Charlotte. The guy wanted a thousand, but I talked him into taking five hundred and an old dirt bike.” Chuckling, he turned onto the highway. “I was only fifteen, and Dad was pretty steamed when we towed it home.”
This was the first time he’d mentioned Ethan since that heart-wrenching night sitting under the tree with her. She had some idea how much he’d struggled to get to this point, and she was so proud, she could burst. If she called attention to it, she knew he’d shrug it off, so she stayed on the topic of his beloved little sports car.
“So you’ve been working on it all this time?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Resting a hand on the cracked dashboard, he flashed Amanda his country-boy grin. “She’s a lot of work, but she’s worth it.”
Amanda got the double meani
ng, and it settled nicely over her still-bruised heart. There was something about this guy, she thought, as she leaned back to admire the scenery flying by. No matter what happened, he somehow spun it to make it look manageable.
She wished she could do the same. With the turns her life had been taking, it would be a handy skill to have. “How’s your soybean experiment going?”
“Pretty well. Everything’s up, and the plants look healthy. I think,” he added with a sheepish grin. “They’re green, anyway.”
Inspiration struck, and she almost heard a bell dinging in her mind. “Do you need some help promoting them?”
“Meaning would I hire CPR to do a website for the farm?”
“Meaning would you let CPR promote the farm for a year—no charge? It’s the least I could do to pay you and your family back for all your help. I don’t know what I would’ve done without it.”
She heard the waver in her voice and swallowed hard to keep her composure. She’d gotten so accustomed to things going wrong, it was as if she couldn’t handle it when they went her way for a change.
Apparently, John heard it, too, because he gave her that warm, you-can-count-on-me smile. “Sure. That’d be great.”
Returning the smile, she rested her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. On a beautiful night like this, it was easy to envision the wind blowing her troubles away.
* * *
By the time they pulled into the lookout, Amanda was sound asleep. John had noticed her drifting the whole ride up here, and several times he’d considered heading back to the farm. It wasn’t much past eight, but he figured the extra work for her new business must have worn her out. He didn’t know how she did it, plucking ideas out of the air like that and making them real. It was amazing.
When the car stopped, she awakened with a start. Blinking a few times, she gave him a faint smile. “I guess I fell asleep.”
“Yeah, you did.” Something in her eyes made him wonder if there was another explanation. Yesterday, he’d have given anything to hear the whole story from her. Tonight she seemed so vulnerable, he hesitated to ask. “We can go home if you want. The lake’ll be here all summer.”
“No, that’s fine.” Raising her hands over her head, she stretched and looked around. “I’d forgotten how pretty this is.”
John almost blurted out something remarkably similar about her, but he managed to stop himself. Friends, that annoying voice in his head reminded him. Just friends.
Because she liked country music, he tuned in a local station, and they stretched out on the hood of his car. With Amanda’s head pillowed on his arm, the radio played softly behind them, blending with the scents of nearby cookouts and the warm night air. It was one of those simple things he loved, slowing down and staring at the sky. Of course, that he was here with Amanda tonight made it even better. While they chatted, the early stars began fading in like the opening scene of a movie.
“This is so cool,” she breathed. “In L.A., there are so many lights we can’t see the stars.”
“What about Malibu?”
“Most nights, by the time I got home I was too exhausted to do anything but fall into bed.”
John knew how that was, but he couldn’t imagine going so long without getting a chance to do this. “So Ted wasn’t into stargazing, then.”
She let out a short, humorless laugh. “Hardly. The only stars he was interested in were on the red carpet.”
“Too bad. Some folks just don’t know how to enjoy themselves.”
Stretching lazily, he caught the opening chords of an old song on the radio. Recognizing it instantly, he leaned over the windshield to turn up the volume.
“Wow,” Amanda murmured with a nostalgic smile. “I haven’t heard this in ages.”
Sliding from the car, John reached back for her. When she took his hand, he reeled her into his arms to start a nice, slow dance.
Just the way she used to, she pillowed her cheek on his chest and sighed. “This is still my favorite song.”
“Good to know.”
Tilting her head to the side, she gazed up at him with sparkling eyes. “Whenever I hear it, I always think of you.”
It had the same effect on him, but that wasn’t the kind of thing he’d tell a woman he was dating. Treading too close to the romantic line would only get him in trouble later on.
Then again, this was Amanda. Judging by how he kept tripping over his heart, he was already in trouble with her. “Really? What goes through your head?”
“I wonder where you are, what you’re doing. If you’re happy,” she added in a whisper laced with something he couldn’t quite pinpoint. When her lips tipped up in an adoring smile, he completely lost his senses.
He leaned in and kissed her.
As soon as they connected, a baffling wave swept over him, nearly driving him to his knees. Because he’d acted on impulse, he didn’t know what had possessed him to kiss her. But one thing he knew for certain.
He didn’t want it to end.
Gathering her closer, he buried his face in the curve of her neck, drinking in the scent of coconuts that followed her everywhere. For a few incredible moments, they stood like that, not speaking, completely wrapped up in each other.
It was the single most perfect moment of his life.
When she burrowed into his chest, he knew she’d felt it, too. Reaching down, he tipped her chin up with the tip of his finger. The first shower of fireworks was reflected in her eyes, giving them more sparkle than ever. Brushing a stray curl from her cheek, he smiled. “This is way better than dancing under a disco ball.”
That got him an adorable little pout. “You never kissed me back then.”
“I know.” Tracing the curve of her cheek with his finger, he finally voiced the feelings that had been plaguing him since the eventful day she unexpectedly dropped back into his life. “I always regretted that.”
She laughed. “Really? Why?”
She thought he was joking, John realized. And why wouldn’t she? He’d never given her a reason to take him seriously. “You were special.”
“Right. Only one Panda.” She mimicked him saying those same words, rolling her eyes with another laugh.
“That wasn’t quite it.” Wow, that was lame. From the very feminine smirk on her face, Amanda thought so, too.
“Then what was it?” Grabbing his hands, she playfully shook them. “Come on, Sawyer. We’re all grown-up now, and I promise not to hold it against you.”
Now was the time, his heart was screaming at him. If he didn’t tell her the truth tonight, he never would. It was three words, he chided himself. The problem was he’d never said them to anyone, and he wasn’t sure how she’d react. He didn’t want to be the pathetic loser who floated them out there only to have them twisting in the air unreturned. Then again, someone had to be brave enough—or stupid enough—to say them first.
Framing her beautiful face in his hands, he watched as understanding dawned in her eyes. At that point, he suspected he didn’t have to say anything. But he’d never done this before, and he wanted her to be the first woman to hear it from him.
“I love you, Amanda. I’ve always loved you.”
As he ended his confession with a soft kiss, her lips trembled beneath his, and he felt her frowning under his thumbs. That wasn’t the reaction he’d anticipated, and he wasn’t sure what to think. When he broke their very intimate connection, she stiffened and pulled away, purposefully avoiding his eyes. He knew a defensive move when he saw one, and it took all his strength to draw his hands back and let her go. His feeling that something major was bothering her returned with a vengeance. This time, he didn’t ignore it.
“Amanda.”
At first, she refused to look at him. She wrapped her arms around herself and stared out at the lake. �
�Do you think they’re going to put up any of those hissing white sparklers?”
When he quietly repeated her name, she squared her slender shoulders but still wouldn’t face him. “What?”
“I know something’s going on with you,” he said gently. “I figured you’d tell me when you were ready, but you’ve been home more than a month now, and nothing. Maybe it’s not as bad as you think.”
“Oh, trust me,” she retorted with a harsh laugh. “It is.”
She wasn’t crying, but her shaky voice told him she was on the verge of breaking down.
“Just tell me. We’ll figure it out.”
“No, we won’t. There’s no way to fix it.”
She sounded so miserably certain, he was tempted to insist that she was dead wrong. Tell her that every problem had a solution, but he held back. What she needed was reassurance, not bullying, so he took a different tack. “You believed me when I said I love you, right?”
That got him a jerky nod, but nothing beyond that. It hadn’t escaped him that she hadn’t returned his sentiment, but he pushed aside his disappointment for now. “And if there’s anything I can do to help you, I’ll do it.”
“You’ve already done so much.” Finally turning, she gazed up at him with a watery smile. “I’m a grown-up now, John. I appreciate what you’re saying, but there are some things I have to handle on my own.”
The words were worrisome enough. The resigned tone of her voice put his protective instincts on full alert, and he gripped her shoulders gently. “That doesn’t mean you have to carry the whole burden by yourself. I can take some of it, and then it’ll be lighter for you. You just have to quit being so stubborn and let me do it.”
Grimacing, Amanda folded her hands in front of her and stared down at them. “I’m pregnant.”
Her revelation hit him like a sucker punch, and John absorbed it in shocked silence. Because he didn’t want her to feel abandoned, he kept his hands lightly on her shoulders while he took in the full meaning of what she’d just told him.
