She was so proud he’d gotten to that revelation on his own. She gripped his chin and pulled his face to hers and kissed him. He deepened the kiss, then abruptly pulled back. “We best not go there.”
It took her a moment to figure out what ‘there’ he meant. Upon realizing he meant sex, she choked. “Oh, believe me, we aren’t going anywhere near ‘there’ for some time. While those pills help with the pain, they don’t help that much.”
His face etched with worry. “Do you want me to get you something stronger, morphine perhaps?”
“No.” She stroked his stubbly cheek. “I lack your resilience. If I took morphine, I would be addicted forever.”
He shook his head ever so slightly “I would never allow that to happen.”
“All the same, I’ll stick to the ass acid.”
His frown returned. “The what?”
“It has an impossibly long name…unless Connors just made up a word to baffle me.”
“Acetylsalicylic acid?” he asked.
“Maybe…sounds like the jumble of consonants Connors made.”
“It’s a derivative of willow bark. Good for pains such as a toothache, but the removal of a cannonball…”
“All the same, it’s all I’m taking. How else would I be able to check off your list of ladies?”
Xavier breathed in and kissed her temple. “God, I love you.” He then stared at her chest. “Where’s our son?”
“He kept pissing on me, so I sent him away.”
Xavier’s brow furrowed. “Away where?”
“To boarding school. Isn’t that were all little gentlemen go?”
Eyeing her cautiously, he replied, “Not until they have reached minimally the age of six.”
“Oh, well he’s so precocious—“
Determined to get to the truth of the matter, Xavier gave his best eagle glare. “Do I have to tickle the truth out of you?”
Her eyes rounded in alarm. “Not unless you wish to kill me. Dr. Connors found a nursemaid for Cannonball so I can get these giant udders to shrink back to a manageable size.”
Xavier’s hands caressed each. “Do not call your beautiful breasts ‘udders’.”
“Call them whatever you like, but I need them to lose weight.”
“I understand. How has Cannon taken to his nursemaid?”
“Oh, like any male. He latched right onto a pair larger than mine.”
Xavier chuckled and kissed her once more. “I would dearly love to remain here and assure you that one male will never want anyone but you, however, I need to rectify my instructions to Tubs.”
“I’ve already taken care of it. I couldn’t wait for you to clarify matters. On your desk you will find a letter of resignation from Tubs.”
“What? No!”
“Don’t worry, I hired him back, only he now works for me and I value happy employees, so Tubs and Sara were married yesterday, here in this room.” She smiled. “I’ve never seen too people more in love…except for us.” She sensed the tension in Xavier.
“Xavier, I had to do this. I could not allow this situation to grow out of control while waiting for you to find all your ladies. That’s what partners do; we step in when the other one does something criminal.”
Her comment caused his right eyebrow to shoot up nearly to his hairline. “Criminal?”
“While unintentionally done, it was a crime against the heart.”
He continued to glower.
She sighed heavily. “Must we really fight about this? I will do so, if necessary, because I am completely within my rights to fix your mess. We are partners, equal partners. I first hired Tubs, so in truth, you should have never trumped my hire with your own. However, at the time, I did not think it would cause any harm, so I let it be. When I discovered you had made me Tubs’ sole priority, I had no choice but to accept his resignation from your employment and reinstate him as my employee. That is the only way I could fix this nonsense. As long as he worked for you, he would not break the unreasonable conditions you established upon his hiring.”
Xavier’s brow remained furrowed.
Vic turned his face to hers. “Will you please accept defeat graciously, since you were entirely in the wrong, or shall we fight? However, I should warn you that if we argue over this, I will not assist you in your half of the list, nor share my papers with you.”
A faint smile etched across his lips. “I was in the wrong, and by leaving to chase ladies, I left you no choice but to fix my error. For that I apologize. Given you first hired Tubs, I’m willing to let you slide on the appropriation of one of my employees. However, do not try to steal any more of them.”
She’d planned to take the entire staff under her employment, but given the ferocity in his eyes, Vic decided to be satisfied with Tubs. Honestly, the last person she’d want to manage was Davy.
“Fine, but for the record, if Davy hasn’t improved his attitude when we return to England, then I really will hire my own driver, and the fellow will report to me, not you.”
His dark eyes narrowed and singed her with heat, but after a long moment, he pulled his list from his pocket, slapped it down on the papers, and stood up. “Have fun with your job,” he said as he stormed towards the door.
***
As Xavier left the room, Vic called out, “I still love you.”
Xavier didn’t reply, but he did smile. While any other husband would have reason to be angry if his wife confiscated his employees, their situation was different. Vic was not just his wife, but his partner. Almost equal, certainly more than anyone else would ever be. Still, it was his business, created years before she wore long pants. He found it hard to accept the clever coup she’d just pulled. And now his pup threatened to hire her own driver.
He smiled, knowing exactly how to prevent that from happening. Entering the library, he spied a white letter, folded once, laying on his otherwise empty desk.
Picking it up, he read the shortest resignation he’d ever received. Usually his ex-employees would go on for pages ruminating upon their endless mistreatments.
Thank God, Vic had explained Tubs had been safely rehired. As the hairs on his neck prickled, a sure sign of danger, he drew his gun and turned.
Seeing Tubs standing just inside the door, he re-holstered his gun. The fellow rubbed his bald massive head. “Sorry to be lurking, but I thought you’d wish to discuss my resignation.”
“No, you were perfectly within your rights. Making Vic your sole priority was wrong. I would have resolved the matter upon returning and discovering my overreach; however, I understand Vic has done that for me.” He stepped forward and extended his hand. “I hear congratulations are in order.”
Tubs beamed from ear to ugly ear and gently shook Xavier’s hand. “Thank you, Mr. Thorn.”
“Now that you don’t work for me, perhaps you should call me Xavier.”
Tubs frowned. “All the same to you, sir, I’d rather not. I spent most of my career trying to escape your notice. The police didn’t worry me, but you are a serious threat to any criminal’s wellbeing.”
“And you don’t think Vic is?” Xavier challenged.
Tubs chuckled. “Oh, he is a terror and a half, but the first time I met him—“
“When you kidnapped him from my office?” Xavier challenged.
“Yes, sir. I liked him right off when he complained about the incompetency of the man I worked for. Then the army arrived at Dragon’s Cloud and he gave me warning, encouraging me to escape. He saved my life that night. And the next day when he and Jacko burst through the door to rescue you, Vic assured me he didn’t want to shoot me.” Tubs smiled at his moment of nostalgia. “Vic was the first friend I’d ever made. So no matter how formidable he becomes, he’ll always be Vic to me.”
Xavier understood entirely. He’d likewise been smitten by the bossy, cheeky pup within five minutes of meeting him.
“Any idea where I might find Cannon?” he asked.
“I’ll have Sara bring him righ
t to you,” Tubs said and disappeared from the room.
He poured himself a drink and sat by the fire. Thank God, Vic had intervened. If Tubs had walked off the job… The possibility was unthinkable.
A moment later, Sara carried Cannon into the room, sporting the biggest diaper Xavier had ever seen. There had to be a good six inches of linen wrapped around the boy.
“What the blazes is he wearing?”
“Sorry, sir. The nursemaid doesn’t like being wet upon, so Vic suggested we put a bit more linens on him. It helps.”
Sara handed Cannon to him and sat down on the bench inside the library.
“You can go,” Xavier said as he settled the boy in his arms, admiring the alertness in his son’s face.
“Wouldn’t you rather I stay and intervene before he soils your suit.”
“Through this?” Xavier patted the bulky linen wrapped around the boy’s body. “I’d say I’m safe.”
“Well, keep count of his smiles. After three, you’re apt to be soaked.”
“We’ll be fine,” Xavier assured her.
He could see the girl didn’t want to leave, but with one pleading look at Cannon, she finally exited the room and closed the door behind her.
“Ha!” Cannon said at the door.
“Did you just speak?” Xavier demanded.
The baby turned to him. “Ha!”
Xavier sighed, deciding his son was only making sounds rather than commentary.
He studied the mass of linen. “This cannot possibly be comfortable. Shall I rescue you from such indignity?”
The boy smiled.
Taking that as a yes, Xavier removed the safety pin and began unwrapping his son. Finding it difficult to keep Cannon from tangling himself in the loose linen, he placed the infant on the bear rug before the fireplace and slowly rolled him over and over, to undo the linen. When he’d reach the end of the rug, Xavier would pick him up and place him on the other end and continue the unwrapping.
Cannon seemed to find it great fun. He’d never seen a child smile so much. But then he’d always made it a point to avoid children, especially babies, like the plague. But those were ordinary children. This was Vic’s and his son. The only one they would ever have.
A thought of gratitude went out to Connors. Where was the good doctor?
Wishing to leave the child, but worried the boy might wander into the fireplace, he secured Cannon’s right leg with the linen and then tied it to the leg of his chair. “Be right back,” he promised and walked to the door.
Sitting in the hallway was Tubs and Sara, kissing. He cleared his throat and frowned. “Tubs can you find Connors?”
“Is there something wrong with the baby?” Sara asked.
“No, he’s fine.”
“Does he need changed?” she persisted.
“No.” He refocused on Tubs. “Connors?”
Tubs nodded and rushed down the hall.
“Can I check on Cannon?” Sara asked.
“Sara, I will call you if I require help. Now let me have some man to man time with my son.”
Her brow furrowed but she sat upon the bench in the hall.
He closed the door and returned to his son. “Now, shall we continue the free-Cannon saga?” Xavier asked as he sat down.
His son rewarded him with a very big smile.
Xavier unlatched the hangman’s knot on his leg and continued to unroll his son. It took him several minutes to realize the linen he pulled was warm and wet…with a strong odor of urine.
“Bloody hell!” he yelled.
“Ha!” Cannon said.
The library door opened. “Do you require assistance, sir?” Sara asked.
“Yes, the boy requires a change of linen. And please dispose of the rug while you’re at it.”
“I’m sorry,” she said and rushed to Cannon.
“It’s hardly your fault, Sara. I can attest you did everything possible to save the rug.”
She stared at the pile of unwrapped linen. “Cannon, how did you do this?” she whispered.
“I fear he’s got a great deal of cleverness in him, like Vic,” Xavier replied, not willing to admit he was the idiot who had unwrapped the water fountain.
Just then Dr. Connors entered. “Xavier, it’s good to have you back.” He stopped and stared at Sara.
Having gathered the boy and the bear rug into her arms, she attempted to leave the room. “Sara, let Tubs do that,” Connors insisted. “Tubs!”
The giant popped his head in and upon seeing Sara about to fall beneath her load, he grabbed the baby and the rug and hurried from the room.
“Tubs, wait!” Sara yelped as Xavier’s favorite chair followed along, still tied to Cannon’s diaper.
“Sara why did you tie the linen to the chair leg?” Connors demanded.
“I didn’t, sir.”
“Well then, who did?”
She glanced at the bear fur pile that Tubs held.
Xavier pulled out his knife and cut the chair free. “Doesn’t matter. You are free to go now.”
With a grand smile of gratitude, she hurried after Tubs, closing the door.
“You need a better nanny,” Connors stated. “Honestly, I think that girl has lost her mind.”
Xavier glared at Connors. “Are you speaking as the Queen’s physician or just some rude, arrogant gentleman who does not appreciate the inexplicable things that frequently happen around Vic, and I daresay the pup’s offspring?”
“For God’s sakes, there is no way a three week old child can tie linen to a chair leg.”
“Well, it couldn’t have been Sara. Against her advice, I insisted on being alone with my child.”
Connors rubbed his temple as if suddenly hit with a migraine. “Why would you tie the boy to your chair?”
“I wanted to ask Tubs to find you, but I was reluctant to allow the little cannonball freedom to roll into the fireplace, so I attached him to the chair leg.”
“I owe Sara yet another apology.”
Xavier poured them both drinks. “Perhaps you should simply stop yelling at her. Do I come to your house and yell at your servants?”
“Actually, you have, but your point is well taken. I’ve lost three very good servants because of your tantrums. Recognizing how much harder it must be for you to retain help, I will refrain from yelling at any of them ever again.”
Ignoring the tantrum comment, Xavier handed Connors his drink and retrieved his runaway chair, pulling it back to the fireplace. “So any idea why my son requires a six inch diaper?”
“I’ve checked him over. He appears perfectly healthy with strong lungs. Thus, I’m left to assume it is a matter of excessive liquids in, excessive liquids out. Oh, and just so you know, babies don’t crawl into fireplaces for at least six months.”
“Ha!” Xavier said, knowing damn well their boy would have a great deal of curiosity and frightening propensity for trouble, which guaranteed he’d be crawling sooner than most.
“Well, at least I know where he got his first sound from,” Connors muttered.
Xavier leaned back and smiled. “I expect the little fellow is going to be no end of trouble, but oddly, the thought only pleases me.”
Connors groaned. “Give it a while.”
“What’s your poison?” Xavier asked.
“Wine will do.”
Tubs knocked on the door and handed Xavier a note. Once he left, Connors spoke. “I hope to God he’s not resigning again.”
Xavier raised his eyebrow, then frowned at the content of the note.
“Problem?”
“Yes, one of the ladies on my list has inconsiderately failed to get mentioned in any of the society pages.” He sighed heavily. “Which means I’ll have to hunt her down.”
“Hadn’t you finished your list in the time you were gone?”
“No. I came back because my methods proved fruitless and I missed Vic, but even injured, my pup had figured out an easier way to solve the problem. So now I’ve only one ce
rtifiably missing woman to locate. How hard could that possibly be?”
Chapter 7
Two weeks later, Xavier found Mrs. Phillipa Williams in Santarum, Portugal living under the name of Vedra Torres in a rundown cottage near a small farming village.
Xavier did not expect her to be happy to see him. When a woman walked away from substantial wealth and prestige for a life of obscurity and poverty, it was either to be with a lover or to escape a life of abuse.
He would have been more than happy to leave her in peace, but he couldn’t. She’d left a trail. Thus, on an unnaturally frigid cold May morning, he knocked on the cottage door.
A curtain shifted in the small window, but no one came to the door. “Mrs. Williams, my name is Xavier Thorn. I am a private investigator from England. It is imperative that I speak with you,” he yelled at the door.
In reply to his bellowing, a line of hard, cold spikes pressed against the small of his back. Bloody hell! The woman must have snuck out the back door and gone around the cottage. Worse yet, he’d failed to hear her approach.
He raised his hands and slowly turned to face her. “Mrs. Williams—
“That’s not my name.”
“Very well, Miss Torres, I am Xavier Thorn.”
“I’ve heard of you. You’re the real Sherlock Holmes. My husband must have paid a fortune to get you to leave your business to find me. And you should be ashamed for taking the job.”
“First of all, your husband did not hire me. Nor do I take cases for abusive men who see their wives as possessions or punching bags.”
Taking note of her bent nose and the scars on her face, he added, “In your case, I expect both situations apply.”
His response caused her to lower her pitchfork. “If you did not come for my husband, why are you here at all?”
A cold wind hit him full face. “I will gladly explain my presence, but may we go inside. It’s deuced cold out here.”
She sighed. “Not much warmer inside, but the wind isn’t as strong.” Using the pitchfork as a walking stick, she led him around the cottage and into the back door.
Her gloomy perspective of her house was not an exaggeration. She had no fire, and only a small cot, which she offered him to sit upon, given she had no chairs.
Pack of Trouble (The Adventures of Xavier & Vic Book 5) Page 6
