by T. S. Joyce
“There’s something else,” Tobias murmured, pulling her to him again.
“What else?”
His lips lingered on her forehead for a long time, and his heartbeat raced faster between them. There was a smile in his voice when at last he whispered, “I love you, too.”
Chapter Thirteen
He loved her. Her.
Vera drew her knees to her chest to ward off the early morning chill. She’d woken early after a dream of running in the woods. Was it her dream or her animal’s? She didn’t know. Everything was so mixed up now, so confusing.
She should’ve dealt with this a long time ago, but she’d listened to Clayton over the years. Listened to his lies. Listened when he’d told her the only way for her to survive was to suppress her animal. The medicine she’d created had a different meaning now. All this time she’d thought it had been salvation, but she was hurting herself instead. Hurting her animal.
It had to be different with Tobias and his brothers. It couldn’t be used like she had done constantly for years. Hibernation only, and the beasts had to be released during the summer months because she never wanted Tobias to feel broken apart like she did now.
He was so damned striking here in the gray morning light, lying on his side, arm outstretched from where she’d slipped out from under it. Even relaxed in sleep, he looked like a warrior. Pink, half-healed scars crisscrossed his neck and chest from the fight yesterday, and never once had he shown he was hurt. That alone told of his insurmountable internal strength. She didn’t know how many times he’d gone to battle like that as an enforcer, but somewhere along the way, he’d built an immunity to pain.
She still couldn’t get over how sensitive and thoughtful Tobias was with her. He was the opposite of everything she’d expected when she’d decided to find herself a grizzly shifter mate. She’d expected domineering, controlling, snarling, and moody. And he could be all those things with others. She’d seen the way he was with Link, like he was always on the verge of a fight with the werewolf, but with her, he was quiet, tender, always watching her as if he was searching for a way to make her more comfortable. And his patience was something she never would’ve imagined in a tough man like him. Tobias likely afforded very few to see this softer side of him, but he’d let her in.
A trill of fear pulsed through her veins as she thought of saying goodbye to him again so soon, but she’d heard him yesterday and had thought about it deep into the night, long after he’d gone to sleep. He thought she needed to Change until she and her animal learned trust. Well…she trusted Tobias, and if he said she needed to work on this part of herself before she threw efforts into making his medicine, then she owed it to him to put in the work.
Vera leaned down and brushed her lips gently against his cheek. Tobias’s lips lifted and fell in a sleep smile. She stood and padded silently to the door. And before she walked outside, she shot him one last lingering glance. She was shit at farewells.
Okay, Fox. I’m sharing. Please don’t block me out again.
****
Tobias’s internal clock must’ve been broken because by the time he woke up, the sun was high in the sky. It was the smell of dead rabbit that had woken him, and before he even opened his eyes, he knew what he would find.
Vera the fox sat staring at him with those bright gold eyes of hers, and her bunny-gift was snuggled up against his ribs.
In a deep, sleepy voice, he asked, “Are you good?”
She opened her mouth and lolled her tongue out to the side in a grin.
“Are you…are you both in there?”
Fox averted her gaze to the window and narrowed her eyes, blinking slowly and looking bored. Whatever that meant.
“Thanks for the rabbit,” he rumbled, picking it up and setting it on the table. He would dispose of it later when she wasn’t looking so he wouldn’t hurt her feelings.
He tried to hide his disappointment by busying himself with getting ready for the day. Sure, he’d told her she needed to Change often, and he’d meant it, but after last night, he’d expected to wake up with her in his arms. He’d wanted to make her breakfast, take care of her, and weasel another “I love you” from her. Those words were incredible for an unlovable man like him to hear.
It had to be a good sign that Fox was comfortable in the shed, though, because before, she’d been too wild to step foot in here without trying to destroy everything.
As tempting as it was to stick around and watch her like a hawk on a rat, it could be another two weeks before she Changed back. Two more weeks before he heard her tinkling-bell voice and saw the blue in her eyes. Before she smelled like Vera again. He couldn’t just bow out of deliveries, even though he was tempted. Now, more than ever, he felt pressure to provide not only for the enormous amount of food he would be consuming soon as his body prepared for winter, but to provide a home for Vera, too. He’d saved up through the years, but he wasn’t a fan of banks or loans, and he wanted to buy their home outright. If he was going to go into this winter hibernating, he wanted her in a safe place of their own before he went down. And that meant while she was a fox, he had to keep working.
Still, it gutted him to leave her. Last night had been life-changing. He bent down and plucked her ring from the cot where she must’ve set it before she’d Changed. Fox’s eyes were locked on the shiny object he held between his finger and thumb, but there didn’t seem to be any spark of recognition. His disappointment stretched infinitely, though he kept his face stoic.
Vera was gone again, and after the last two weeks, having her back for a single night just didn’t feel like enough. He didn’t know how Elyse had done this for so long. She’d spent six months watching over Ian’s hibernating body last year and was about to do it again if Vera didn’t gain control soon. He had a newfound respect for Elyse, and also for Lena, who was now engaged to Jenner and willing to watch over her mate this year, too. He was glad that Lena and Elyse would have each other, but it was still tragic.
Tobias zipped his backpack and tossed it over his shoulder. He bent down and pet Vera, then made his way to Link’s cabin with her trotting behind him.
Link stood on his porch, arms crossed as he blew on a steaming mug of fragrant coffee. His bright eyes went straight down to Vera. “Shit. Again?”
“It’s good for her. She needs to Change as often as possible.”
“Agreed, but what about the medicine?”
Tobias sighed and hooked his hands on his hips, staring at Fox as she licked her paw in a cat-like fashion. “She shouldn’t help anyone else until she helps herself.”
“Nights are getting colder,” Link said.
“I know.” And he got it. That was Link’s warning. Time was running out. “Can you keep an eye on her?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll be back tonight.” He cast Vera one last glance, then strode off toward the trail that led toward the runway where he stored the plane. A two mile hike, and he would be back in the air with a new purpose: make enough money to feed him and to take care of Vera through the winter just in case.
Fox didn’t even attempt to follow, only watched him go.
That right there was clue enough.
Vera wasn’t there anymore. Only her animal.
And when he was far enough away, deep in Link’s evergreen woods, he finally let out the snarl of pain that had coiled so tightly in his chest.
Chapter Fourteen
Fox gave back her body after three days. Scratched and sore, Vera ached badly as she stumbled from the woods. The pain was from a hard Change, sure, but it was also because Fox had settled right in the middle of a huge briar patch to shift back. Little monster.
Vera’s skin was decorated with hundreds of tiny cuts from where she’d escaped the thorns, and as she lurched into the clearing of Link’s cabin, she sighed in relief. It didn’t feel like home, but something close.
It was early morning, and Link was sitting on his front porch cleaning his rifles, but at her arrival, h
e jerked his too-bright gaze directly to her. His nostrils flared delicately, and his dark eyebrows lifted slightly. “Briar patch?”
“She hates me.”
Link snickered and twitched his head. “Your mate is already gone out on a delivery. I would call him back, but he sucks at answering phones.” Link narrowed his eyes and looked at her wild hair in a calculating way. “You look crazier than me. If you want to go into town with me, you should probably put some clothes on.”
Vera tossed a despairing look down at her dirt-caked body. She looked like a tic-tac-toe board with only X’s. Still, the thought of going into town softened the blow of Tobias being gone already. “Give me an hour to wash the crazy off.”
Link wiped a cloth all the way down the barrel of a .270. “Yep.”
She zombie-stumbled to the shed and began the long process of filling up an oversize metal tub in back. Clean, hair fixed in a damp, messy bun, and make-up carefully applied, Vera’s shoulders sagged in relief as she stared at herself in the mirror. She looked tired and stressed, but she was human and, right now, she was counting that as a tiny victory. Three days Changed was way better than two weeks. Sure, she was still disappointed it had taken that long to convince Fox to share, but determined to be a bright-side kind of gal, Vera lifted her chin, smiled brightly, and said, “Good job, Fox.”
The wee beasty inside of her pushed a growl up her throat. Lovely.
Ignoring the grumbly little cuss, she grabbed her purse and made her way toward Link’s mud-spattered green Bronco where he was leaning, chewing on a long blade of grass and talking to himself. Or arguing, she realized as she got closer. Pity took her. Eustice had started doing that near the end, and for the millionth time, she wished she could do something for the McCalls.
“I don’t have to!” Link barked out.
Vera skidded to a stop, and he jerked his unclear gaze to her. He slapped the side of his head and growled. “I need to see Elyse.”
“Does she make it better?”
Link nodded once hard, then opened the passenger side door for her.
Her apology stayed lodged in her throat the entire drive to Galena. Link smelled unwell and unbalanced, which she wouldn’t have been able to pick up on before she’d been Turned.
“Thanks for not biting me,” he said at last in an exhausted voice.
She huffed a breath and leaned back onto the headrest. “Thanks for everything you’ve done for me. I see you watching me. Checking up on me when Tobias is gone. You’re good, Link.”
He cast her an uncertain look, as if he was checking to see if she was joking.
“I mean it.”
The steering wheel creaked in his tightening grasp. “Elyse calls me that, too.” His voice was a barely audible whisper.
Vera smiled sadly, then dragged her attention to the window and the passing blur of browns and greens before he could see her get choked up. She’d adored Eustice, and now she would lose Link. The world wasn’t fair.
“Three days. Better,” Link growled out, as if the conversation was distracting him from whatever internal struggle was going on.
“Still a lot of work to do.”
“You have time.”
“Do I? Tobias deserves that medicine.” And so do you. She wished she could tell him that last part out loud, but it would just be more pain and unfairness.
“You start tonight. Change when you have to. Juggle. Work on you and him. Save both of you.” Link was sweating now, and his lips were curled back over his teeth. Such a difference from an hour ago when she’d come out of the woods and he’d joked easily with her. “Elyse deserves— Fuck,” he said shakily.
Vera rested her hand on his knee to comfort him. “Shhh. We’ll go see Elyse, and you’ll be okay.”
At her touch, the growl died in his throat, but Link gave her the saddest look. “Will I?”
No. She couldn’t utter that word out loud, though, so she looked back out the window at the main drag in town. Shops and cars and dogs barking from the backs of trucks. People walked in pairs and trios, talking happily in the summer sunshine. All seemed well, but in the cab of this ride, she and Link—two broken beings—observed quietly.
“There’s Ian’s truck,” he murmured, pulling into a parking spot near the feed store.
Link didn’t even wait for her to get out before he rushed inside. What was she supposed to do? Tobias should be the one to introduce her to his family instead of her just walking up to them and doing it herself. She twisted the ring on her finger nervously.
She was so close to meeting Elyse, and she’d wanted to talk to the women of the Silver family so badly, ever since she’d first started researching them. Her hands went clammy and began to shake. She got out of the Bronco and shut the door gently, then got all the way up to the door before she chickened out and retreated back to Link’s ride. In turmoil, she leaned against the front end and watched the passersby. Tobias had seemed to want to keep her a secret. And she got it. He didn’t want everyone to get their hopes up, but suddenly, she was heart-hurt. She didn’t want to be the black sheep of the family. She didn’t want to be a secret.
Vera puffed air out of her cheeks and pushed off the truck, determined to go window shopping instead of standing here looking pathetic. Unfortunately, she couldn’t muster the fortitude to go more than a few stores down before Link came out of the feed store, trailing two women and a tall man who looked eerily similar to Tobias. When she narrowed her eyes and studied him, she could see the slight differences, though. Different haircut, blue eyes instead of green. This must be Ian Silver.
Another tendril of ache unfurled in her chest as she watched them talk easily to each other. Feeling extra pitiful, she pulled her gaze away from them and stared at a row of flyers outside a realtor station advertising cabins for sale.
“Shopping for a place for us already?” a familiar voice murmured as a set of strong arms wrapped around her waist.
She startled violently in her mate’s arms and spun around. “Tobias!” Her cheeks blazed with molten heat, and even her ears were burning at being busted in her moment of vulnerability.
He frowned and gripped her shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
“Uuuh.” She cast a quick glance over at the others and searched for the right words to make her sound more like a badass and less like a sniveling ninny-weevil.
Tobias followed her gaze. “Have you met them yet?”
“No! I thought we were keeping me a secret.”
Tobias straightened and lowered his voice. “We’re keeping the cure a secret. I’m not trying to hide you from my family, woman.” He lifted her hand, and the diamond in her ring glinted in the sun. “You’re my fiancé,” he said, both his voice and his deep green eyes baffled.
“Oh. Well kiss me and tell me ‘hi’ properly. I brought you a bunny after all.” She tried her best not to look ill.
He laughed and picked her up until her hiking boots dangled in the air. “I thought you wouldn’t remember that.”
“Oh, I was there. She let me in for the gross parts. The hunting and the pissing all over Link’s property, like she was claiming his dadgummed land for herself. I was dehydrated.”
Tobias was grinning from ear to ear now, looking like a tall glass of water on a hot day with those straight white teeth and faint dimples bracketing his lips. He’d shaved this morning, so she could see every glorious angle of his face, and his eyes were a vibrant, happy green. “Damn, Thistle, it’s good to see you again. Three days!” He looked so damned proud, her cheeks flushed all over again.
With an excited noise, she flutter-kicked her feet, leaned down, and kissed him thoroughly.
“Tobias?” a woman’s voice asked from faraway.
Vera giggled and nipped his bottom lip, then shimmed down until her boots made a hollow sound on the storefront porch.
Tobias waved to his approaching family and wrapped his giant hand around Vera’s, then grinned down at her as he pulled her toward the others. “Are y
ou excited?”
“Mmm hmmm,” she said, nodding vigorously.
“One thing, though,” he said, worry slashing through his eyes. “Don’t judge me and Ian.”
“Why would I judge—”
Tobias locked his legs at the same time Ian did, too far away from each other, and too formal. A low rumble blasted from both of the men as Tobias and Ian bent at the waist and reached out for a faraway handshake.
“Ooooh,” she murmured sympathetically. She recalled this from her research. Male grizzly shifters didn’t do well in the same territory.
Tobias cleared his throat and yanked his hand out of Ian’s grasp, then gestured to the two women. “Elyse,” he murmured, side-hugging the woman with honey colored hair, a stark scar down her cheek bone and strange gold-green eyes. “Lena,” he said, giving the same greeting to the dark-haired woman who wore a camera around her neck.
Link was looking much better and was rocking his weight from front to back with a smirk on his face.
Tobias cleared his throat. “This is Vera Masterson.”
Too excited to hold it in any longer, Vera pulled up her hand and showed them her ring. “Soon to be Vera Silver,” she said, barely avoiding a squeak of excitement. “And I’ve heard so much about you two I feel like I know you, and I’m so excited to finally meet you, and oh my gosh, I love your hair,” she said, lifting a tress of Lena’s dark hair dyed auburn on the ends.
Both of the women were still staring at her ring finger with matching shocked faces, and Ian was looking at Tobias like he’d never seen him before.
“But you’re so grumpy,” Elyse said on a soft breath, dragging a slow blink up to Tobias.
A soft snarl rattled Vera’s throat, and she allowed it. Fox was right. “He’s not grumpy with me,” she said, defending her mate.
Lena’s mouth fell open. “Did you just growl?”
“Lena,” Ian warned, looking around.
