by Hart, Lane
I shake my head and bark out a laugh in complete disbelief that she thinks I would ever buy that shit. “Checking on her” required gettin’ in bed with her? Yeah, right. "That's a nice story that you've had five years to make up," I tell her.
"It's the truth. The only truth. I had all of my clothes on, and he was in a towel from his shower. You didn't give us a chance to explain before you…attacked him. I was terrified. You wouldn't hurt me...so you took out all of your anger at me losing the baby on him."
The cab of the truck suddenly starts shrinkin’, the sides closin’ in on me, and I'm certain the temperature must’ve shot up at least fifty degrees. I get out to find more air for my lungs, slamming the door shut behind me.
The rational, clearheaded part of me says she's lyin’, but honestly I don't even remember much of what happened that night. I'd gone into a fuckin’ rage as soon as I walked into the room and saw she wasn't alone. So I can't try and figure out if there's any truth to what she now wants me to believe, even if I wanted to.
Bracin’ my back against the side of the truck I rub the throbbin’ veins in my temple that make me absolutely certain that my head is about to explode. It's too much to take in, too emotional to deal with. I'm thankful that Abby doesn't get out and keep talkin’ because I need a few minutes alone to think and to get my escalatin’ blood pressure under control.
A knife piercin’ my gut keeps askin’ me, "What if she's tellin’ the truth? What if I lost her because of a stupid misunderstanding?" I nearly killed that boy after I got my hands on him. At the time, there was no doubt in my mind that she was with him, but now...it never actually made sense to me why she would even try to have sex with someone when she hadn't recovered from the birth. Yeah, the baby was only a few ounces, but it didn't seem much different from a full term healthy delivery.
Out of nowhere a memory of me and Sadie the night before my and Jude’s fight hits me. We were in my bed at the hotel together. I slept on my back in a t-shirt and shorts that night with my arm around Sadie. She took her dress off and slept in one of my oversized shirts, usin’ my chest as a pillow. It was completely innocent to us. Sadie’s a beautiful girl, but I wasn’t attracted to her, and even if I had been, she was devastated by her dad and Jude lyin’ to her. I had only held her while she cried because she felt like there wasn’t anyone else to hold her. It was no different than if she had been my sister Hailey. On the flip side of that, what if Jude had walked in on us? Would he have seen the two of us in the same non-sexual way? Not fuckin’ likely because of his blindin’ jealousy. Maybe the same thing happened to me.
I can't begin to sort through everything right now, and I know Abby has to be gettin’ cold sittin’ inside the truck. I need to take her back to her car and go home to drink myself into oblivion, hopefully until I forget the roller coaster ride from hell that I've been on for the last two days.
...
The next Wednesday my hinged brace officially came off and I was cleared for trainin’. Finally. Mace showed up just like I told him to last Friday, so now he's a registered Havoc fighter. I've tried to leave his trainin’ to the coachin’ staff because just seein’ him reminds me of his sister, who I'm workin’ really hard to try and forget. More than once I've considered askin’ him for her number. It would be so easy to get it from him so that I could see her again. I want to kick my own ass for even considerin’ it since I’m nothin’ but a big dollar sign to her, so instead I kick the long bag in front of me. While I may be crazy about her, she could care less about me, other than my money.
And Abby...my thoughts are still all over the place. She started chemotherapy this week, and while she didn't ask me to go with her, I think she wanted me to offer. I just...couldn't. I knew her mom or sister would go with her, so she wasn't alone. I've talked to her on the phone a few times since the game Friday, checkin’ on her, but that's all I can offer for now. Probably makes me an even bigger dick. She can't expect to spring shit on me after all these years and it roll right off of me. I'm still processin’ this new information, but it's gonna take time to come around to seein’ things from a different perspective than the one I've held onto for so long.
I throw a few left-handed jabs at the bag for the first time in months, testin’ my arm and picturin’ my own head as the target in front of me. The damn thing needs some sense knocked into it. Workin’ out my anger again feels awesome. Too much of it bottled up and I go nuts. I'm reminded of the reason I've stayed away from real women for so long. The last two I've talked to besides Sadie and look what happens; one fucks me like it's just another dick and another day at the office, and the other mindfucks me by tryin’ to rewrite history. I have to say that my porn addiction was a much more pleasant way to go. Only now I'll have to throw out all the old and restock my DVD collection with actresses who I haven't had the pleasure of fuckin’ in real life.
I'm so focused on beatin’ the shit out of my imaginary self that I don't even notice Senn, Josh, and Nate's approach. From the corner of my eye I just suddenly see all three of them standin’ there like a sweaty, stinky fighter wall, shoulder to shoulder next to me.
"What?" I ask, pullin’ the earbuds that are spoutin’ out angry music so I can find out what the hell they want. I'm sure they've come to me for my excellent advice on wooin’ the opposite sex, seein’ as how I'm so awesome at it lately. Sexiest MMA Fighter in the World my ass. Jax and Jude should definitely demand a recount.
"Yo man, you're trendin’ on Twitter," Josh says.
"What the fuck are you talkin’ about?" I ask, catchin’ my breath with my hands on my hips. Of course I know what trendin’ means, but the hashtag with my name only trends before and after I have a fight. "Because my brace is off?" I ask, wonderin’ how everyone around the world would know that shit, or care. It takes thousands of fuckin’ tweets to start trendin’.
"Um, no, it's mostly about you gettin’ off," he replies tryin’ not to grin and failin'. I look at Nate and Senn on either side of him to see if they know what the hell he's talkin’ about.
"The hashtag is something like, 'Linc and Eve porno,'" Nate says with a wince.
"Me and Eve in a porno?" I ask in confusion. “Because of those photos from the strip club?” I've seen a few of the pics of me flattenin’ her against the wall in the club floatin’ around social media, but nothin’ any more provocative. Thankfully not a single one caught a glimpse of my fingers strokin’ her pussy through that skimpy, white thong. Now there's a visual I really don't need to be havin’ right at the moment.
"Nope, not you and Eve at the club," Nate answers. "There's actually, um, a porno of you that can be downloaded for just nine ninety-nine through VS Production’s website."
"That's complete bullshit! There is no fuckin’ porno. They must be tryin’ to pass it off with some random guy who looks like me, but I haven't-" Senn thrusts his cell phone in my face and I watch in horror as the scene unravels. It's a very clear video showin’ Mandy goin’ down on a man that is without a fuckin’ doubt me in the bedroom at Vito's. But it doesn't end with me makin' the "O" face and comin’ down her throat. Nope. It keeps right on rollin’, showin’ clothes flyin’ as both of us get naked, sparkin’ more embarrassment I didn't know I could possibly have left.
And damn, there is just no polite, decent way to eat a woman out. My face is buried in her pussy, frantically lickin’ up her juices like a man lost in the desert finally stumblin’ upon his first puddle of water. I start to worry that the me on the video may never come up for air, when finally, I’m rushin’ to fuck her but realize my cock is too big or she wasn't quite ready when I try and ram it in. The only savin’ grace to the whole debauchery is the way she holds onto me so tightly at the end like she wanted me to stay right there with her the rest of the night. But what do I do next? Pick her up, actually bite her ass, before throwin’ her on the bed and fuckin’ her like a crazed animal. Wow. No wonder she was upset after that round, and probably sore from my brutality.
All of th
e sex acts, despite their different locations in the room, are caught from various angles on what had to be some high resolution cameras. Cameras that I didn't even know were there recordin’ every single fuckin’ second of us bein’ together. It finally, thank fuck, ends just before I dress and leave the room. I'm not sure if I want to know the answer to whether or not there's audio.
That's about the time I realize my ass is on the mat on the floor, my face flamin’. Everyone in the gym is lookin’ at me, and hell, most have probably already seen the whole fuckin’ thing by now if it's this damn easy to get. The guys and coaches have likely seen what I thought was happenin’ behind the privacy of closed doors while I was gettin’ real fuckin’ intimate with a woman. Not just any woman, but a goddamn porn star.
"It's definitely you?" Nate asks, squattin’ down next to me. I nod since it's so damn obvious, and there are no other words…
"At Vito's?" Senn asks, and I nod again when he removes his phone from my hands that I forgot I was even holdin’. "You should sue those fuckers.”
"We need to talk," Jude says when he suddenly appears above us. The normally laid back guy’s eyes are narrowed, his jaw's tickin’ like he’s pissed. I should be the one who is pissed. Mostly I'm...numb. She knew. She fuckin’ knew they were recordin’ us and she didn't tell me. How could she? She's a gold diggin’ porn star, that's why. No, she's a woman desperate enough to do anything for money. I don't know if I'm mad at her or just hurt that she would embarrass me by doin’ somethin’ so goddamn connivin’.
Jude offers me a hand up off the floor which I accept, and then I follow him blindly to his office where he shuts the door.
"What the fuck were you thinking?" He lays into me before I can sit down in a chair. "Don Briggs just chewed my ass out over the phone because this Havoc hasn't been open a month and now you're bringing this shit down on us! It's not just you anymore. This is our image! An image that we’ve been trying to build up as role models to youth so we can offer more community programs. Nobody's gonna want their kids taking classes with the fighter who fucked the porn star!"
Once he stops yellin’ long enough for me to get a word in, I say, "I didn't know we were bein’ recorded."
"You didn't?" he asks. His tone lowers in concert with his shoulders slumpin’ forward.
"No."
"Oh."
"Yeah, so you think I could talk to your attorney sister-in-law? See if I can make them take this shit down or sue them for recordin’ and releasin’ it without my permission?"
Jude cringes before he sits down on the other side of the wooden desk and props his feet up on the edge. "Sorry, Zelda, but I know for a fucking fact that in Maryland and South Carolina there's not a damn thing you can do about being recorded without your knowledge. Probably the same here in North Carolina."
"What do you mean nothin’ I can do? I didn't sign up for the entire world to see my naked ass when I’m balls deep in a porn star! That’s a violation of my goddamn privacy!"
"It should be, but it's not. This fucker Sadie dated recorded them together and threatened to share it on the web."
"So what'd she do to stop him?"
"I threatened to kill him and his buddies who had the only copies. They gave me their phones. The police couldn't charge them with shit, but thankfully we were able to contain it."
"There's no containin’ that video of me and..."
"Nope," Jude agrees. "I've heard that something like a million copies have already been downloaded."
After hearin’ that unfortunate information I groan, diggin’ my elbows into my knees when I cover my face. It's more widespread than I thought.
"Hey, it could be worse," Jude offers.
"How the fuck could it be worse?" I ask him from behind my palms.
"At least you didn't do any embarrassing shit when you didn't know cameras were rolling. And I believe estimates on the size of hashtag 'Linc's Master Sword' is trending. So on the bright side, you don't have to worry about hastag 'Little Dick Linc.'"
"Wow." I rub my temples where the motherfucker of all headaches is startin’. "You've...seen it?" I ask hesitantly, unable to look at him.
"Uh-huh. Only for verification purposes of course. Once I confirmed it was you I stopped watching. Mostly. That's fucked up right? It's like the whole ‘trying to look away from a train wreck’, and I was really fucking pissed at Sadie when she told me she had watched it with some girls at school because she didn't believe it was you, so I had to see-"
"Sadie's seen it?” I ask in mortification since I think of her like a sister. “Oh fuck. My parents and Hailey are gonna find out. My Grandma Abrams too. This is really bad. I need to warn them. Can you call your sister-in-law for me?"
"Sure," he says, whippin’ out his phone and pressin’ a few buttons before holdin’ it up to his ear. "Hey, Page. How are my pain in the ass brother and adorable nephew treating you? Good, and I miss you guys, too. Well, the reason I'm calling is Linc's in need of some urgent legal advice. You've already heard? Yeah, that's what I told him. Okay, here he is," he says before passin’ the phone to me.
"Hey, Page."
"Hi, Linc. Sounds like you've been better," she says on the other side of the phone.
"Uh-huh. What can I legally do?"
"Well, since there's nothing about the actual recording itself being illegal, the only thing I would suggest is having your attorney or agent call the company and demand that you receive a portion of all royalties. From what I've heard, they're making a fortune off of you, so you could take them to civil court to force them to pay you some type of compensation for each video they sell. If nothing else, hit them in their pockets."
I sigh into the phone when she confirms what Jude had warned me. "That's better than nothin’ I guess."
"I'd be happy to talk to your agent and do a three way call to see if we can get someone's attention at the studio."
"Thanks, I'd appreciate that," I tell her, and then give her my agent Dave's contact info, leavin’ them to handle the rest.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do now?" I ask Jude when I hang up and give him back his phone.
"No clue," he replies, shakin’ his head. "Depending on what Page and Dave find out maybe issue a press statement to do damage control? Say you didn't know you were being taped. I don't know, man."
"Yeah. Okay. I'm goin’ home," I tell him. Gettin’ up to head out the office door, I move like the walkin’ dead, still in shock and reeling from gettin’ fucked over. I shower and change into my jeans and tee, pull my hoodie over my head, and am ready to go sulk in the privacy of my own home. Can't wait to make the horribly embarrassin’ phone call to my family. "Hey, Mom and Dad. So guess what. There's a video everyone's seen of me fuckin’ a porn star and doin’ a variety of other naughty things to her. Sorry for showin’ my dick to the world." That's gonna go over real well.
On the way out the front door, I run into Mace. His face is a bloody fuckin’ mess. That's definitely not how we train around here. "What the fuck happened to you?" I ask him. I glance down and his bare knuckles are all busted up and bleedin’, too.
"I started fighting right around the time Mandy started doing the movies. I can't stop people from watching the shit, but I'm not gonna listen to them call my sister a slut, whore, or anything else."
I feel for him, and know I'd do the same if someone said that sort of shit about Hailey. "I'm sorry. People are assholes."
"Yeah." He laughs without humor, crossin’ his arms over his wide chest. "Thanks to you, now I have to listen to all the guys who know Claire saying the same shit about her. She was devastated before all this, but now-"
"Why is it my fuckin’ fault?" I yell the question at him, glad to let my pent up anger out on someone... "I didn't know we were bein’ recorded! And what the hell? I've never even met Claire!"
Mace's mouth falls open as he silently gawks at me for several seconds. "You're fucking with me, right? You sat with Claire at the fight Thursday night, and went with
her to Vito’s house!"
"What the fuck are you talkin’ about? I wasn’t with her that night. The video is of me and Eve. Mandy," I correct.
"You seriously don't fucking know, do you?" he asks, shakin’ his head. Reachin’ into the pocket of his black workout pants he pulls his cell phone out, then flips the screen around to show it to me.
It's a picture of two beautiful brunettes, cheek to cheek, smilin’ at the camera. They're almost identical, except one is thin and frail lookin’ with a slightly sunken in look to her face, while the other is...absolutely radiant. "This is Mandy," he tells me, pointin’ to the malnourished woman. "And this is Claire. She's the oldest, always working her ass off to keep me out of jail and bail Mandy out of trouble like the mess she's in now. Mandy owed one of Vito's drug dealing loan sharks over thirty grand and his guys have been hassling all three of us for it pretty much on a daily basis for weeks. Claire's managed to get it down to twelve thousand in just a week. If it wasn't for her...Anyway, I don't know how the fuck this happened, but you were with Claire."
"Was I?" I mutter, still somewhat frozen in shock.
Thinkin’ it over, I start from the very beginnin’ and try to work my way forward. The shy, awkwardness that first night we met at the club. Her blatant innocence. Tellin’ me she wouldn't take the money for herself, but her sister could use it. The painting. Her sayin’ she's not who I think she is... It's been Claire the whole fuckin’ time! "But why didn’t she tell me the truth, and why did she con me into recordin’ us together?” I ask Mace. “If she had just asked me, I would've given her the money." Yeah, embarrassment was at the top of the list of how shitty this is, but now that I know it was Claire...the girl who could barely get through a lap dance, well, she must’ve been freakin’ out about havin’ sex with me on camera.
