Donna had obviously gotten used to Valerie’s flaring temper. Sam supposed she had to accept it, since she needed the place to stay. Again, she felt a flash of sympathy for the woman.
* * * *
After an uncomfortable dinner of spaghetti and meatballs cooked in Valerie’s tiny kitchen, Donna cleaned up while Sam and Valerie got dressed to go out. Sam had an impulse to ask Donna to go with them. When she did, Valerie shot her a look of disapproval. But Donna totally jumped on the invitation, and soon all three women were joining the weekend crowd at Mo’s.
As always, Valerie was the life of the party, dancing flamboyantly and pulling mildly protesting young girls onto the dance floor. Sam was used to this spectacle, but still found it annoying.
When Val took her shirt off and continued dancing in her skimpy tank top, Donna motioned for Sam to join her outside.
Donna lit a cigarette and offered one to Sam, who shook her head no. Sam leaned against the concrete block building, thankful for a moment of quiet and fresh air.
“Whew! She sure gets wound up, doesn’t she?” Donna offered.
“No shit. To be honest, it kinda makes me crazy. I mean, I drive all the way here to be with her, and I get left in the dust every time we come to Mo’s.”
Donna put a casual, friendly arm around Sam’s shoulders. “Yeah, that’s just Val. Try not to take it personally. She really does care about you, you know. You can trust me on this…”
Sam relaxed, and just for an instant leaned her head on Donna’s comforting shoulder. And that was the moment Valerie decided to come out for a smoke, too.
She took in the scene in a heartbeat and exploded in angry jealousy. “Whoa, ladies—what’s goin’ on here?! I can’t trust you two for an instant, can I?” And she shoved Donna away from the startled Sam. Sam had a flash of memory: Sally being pushed to the ground in this same parking lot.
“Wait, Val. It’s not what you think…” Donna moved back even further and kept her hands down by her sides. Sam took a few steps toward the club doorway—it seemed sensible to get back into the crowd for protection.
Valerie grabbed Sam’s hand and yanked her roughly toward the parking lot. “Let’s go, Samantha. We need to talk, and not here.” Her voice was barely controlled and deadly quiet, scarier to Sam than yelling.
“Sam protested, “Wait, my purse is inside…”
Valerie shoved her toward the entrance. “Go get your damn purse and hurry back out. We’re leaving.”
Sam ran back inside for her purse, glancing over at Donna in panic.
Valerie must have noticed, as she called out angrily, “Forget about her, you hear me? You belong to me!”
Chapter 26: More Drama
By the time they got to Valerie’s apartment, Sam was exhausted and prayed she would be allowed to go to sleep with no hassle. Valerie seemed to calm down a little on the drive home, once Donna was out of sight. In the quiet of the dark apartment, both women soon gave in to the alcohol and late hour.
* * * *
The next morning Sam woke in a fog, taking a few minutes to tune in to where she was. But when she felt Valerie’s body next to her, Sam’s sensual side took over. She reached for Valerie and kissed her deeply, running a gentle hand down the woman’s flat belly. Valerie returned the kiss, coming up to her knees and straddling Sam’s waiting body.
Years before, Sam had secretly read the book “Stone Butch Blues.” It seemed to her this almost described Valerie—a stone butch, getting all her own pleasure from pleasing her lover. This is how their sexual encounters usually played out: aggressive lovemaking from Valerie, making Sam come more than once before she relaxed her game.
Only sometimes, like that morning, Valerie would finally lie back and let Sam return the effort. She wanted Sam’s whole hand inside her, something Sam at first found a little weird and disturbing. Now she was used to it and knew exactly how to shape her hand to drive her lover crazy.
When Valerie came, she moaned loudly and called out, “Oh God, oh God!” It never varied, almost like an automatic response. It pleased Sam to have this power—something she seldom felt with this edgy woman.
After, they lay together in contentment. At least, Sam was content, putting home and family out of her mind for a space of time. But staring up at the dark ceiling as Valerie snored softly beside her, Sam felt the familiar guilt come creeping back. Shit—I hate this. What a freakin’ mess…
And the worst part was she had no idea how to make it better.
* * * *
The day passed quietly, watching a movie then hanging out on the beach for a while. Fueled by copious beer drinking, Sam felt more relaxed and kind of forgot about the drama at Mo’s with Donna. She made a point of not mentioning the other woman’s name, not wanting to remind Valerie of any doubt about Sam’s loyalty.
Walking along the shore, the two lovers held hands. Sam felt the cool sand beneath her feet and the breeze on her face. At moments like this, she could almost believe she and Valerie could make it work. Her imagination ran away with her, picturing Emily and Dax going to school here in this beach-front town and getting to like Valerie.
“Hey, baby—what’s on your mind?”
Sam answered, “Just thinking. About us.”
Valerie stopped walking and turned to face Sam, taking her in her arms. They stood in an embrace, looking out at the ocean.
“You know what? I think it’s time to get some food. Okay?”
This was not what Sam expected. But she had come to expect the unexpected from this person she loved so irrationally.
“Yeah—cool. I could eat.”
“Come on, then. Think about what you’re hungry for.” Valerie laughed and Sam joined in. Though it hurt her weak ankle a little, Sam ran to keep up as Valerie trotted across the warm, soft sand to the street.
* * * *
They ended up at the nearby Mexican restaurant Valerie loved. Sam wasn’t that hungry but went along with Valerie’s order of fajitas for two. Sitting on the same side of the booth, Sam felt like a teenager—a common enough feeling on these weekends at the beach.
After dinner, they headed to Mo’s. It was close enough to walk, but Valerie insisted on driving. Sam knew she herself was too drunk to drive, and Valerie was generally way ahead of her on that score. As usual, Sam shoved her worry to the back of her mind and did whatever Valerie wanted. And, for some unexplained reason, she wanted to drive the three blocks to Mo’s.
When they pulled up in the parking lot, Sam noted the place was packed. After all, it was Saturday night, and Mo’s was the place to be for the gay and lesbian community.
“Hey, baby girl! I’m ready to dance—what d’ya say?”
Sam was actually a bit tired but would never admit it to Valerie.
“Sure, I’m in.”
They walked hand in hand through the crowded parking lot and into the club. It was packed—a typical Saturday night. Valerie knew lots of people and Sam was beginning to recognize a few faces. She spotted Donna at a table with a woman, talking and laughing, a collection of beer bottles on their table.
“Yo, Donna!” Valerie called across the room. Donna and her companion turned to look. Sam gave a tentative wave.
Though Sam was apprehensive, Valerie led her by the hand over to Donna’s table. The woman Donna was talking to, a youngish woman with beautiful olive skin and wavy dark hair, looked up in surprise.
“Hey, bitch. Who’s your friend?”
Donna looked away and ignored Valerie. Sam knew this wasn’t a good idea.
“I said, introduce me to your little friend, Donna.” Valerie’s voice dripped with acid, worrying Sam even more.
Donna was playing it cool, still talking quietly to her “friend.”
Valerie shoved Donna’s chair with her boot, shaking the entire table and sending Donna tumbling to the floor. Sam decided discretion was the better part of valor in this case and headed up to the bar for the safety of the crowd. Valerie was now totally focused on the
feud with Donna and didn’t notice Sam’s departure.
From the distance of the bar, Sam saw the fight go down. Valerie was tough and ruthless, though Donna landed a few good punches. Both women were breathing hard but still standing when the bouncer finally broke it up.
Sam couldn’t decide what to do. I sure as hell don’t want to be standing outside if the cops come. But if they don’t, I have to ride back with Valerie. And she’ll be in a foul mood for the rest of the night.
Sam’s more sensible side lost this argument, and she went out to see what was going on. The bouncer had apparently told both fighters to get off the premises, as Val, Donna, and a crowd of drunken supporters were all gathered in the darkened parking lot of the car repair place next door. Sam crept up quietly at the back of the crowd, thinking she should be there to help both women home.
As it turned out, neither Valerie nor Donna actually went home that night. Donna managed to mostly avoid the conflict by fighting with clever words that only served to confuse her opponent. When the cops showed up, Valerie had just reached her limit of using words and landed a left-handed blow that knocked Donna to the concrete. Unfortunately for Valerie, this is what the stocky, blonde police officer saw the moment he stepped out of the car. And Valerie had no one willing to speak up on her behalf. She ended up in handcuffs, especially after the cop’s partner pulled up her long record on the system.
As the police car started to pull away, Valerie managed to stick her head out the back window. She looked straight at the terrified Sam and yelled, “Hey, Samantha! You owe me big time! Get me out of here ASAP!”
Although Sam knew she really didn’t have any ownership of this latest fuck-up in Valerie’s life, she felt the pull of loyalty and love. Or what she had thought of as love…
* * * *
Back at Valerie’s apartment by herself, Sam felt at loose ends and more than a little scared. Her first instinct was to call Barry.
“Hey,” he answered, with a question in his voice. “You okay?”
The sound of Barry’s calm voice made Sam start to cry.
“Oh, Barry…everything’s such a mess. She’s in jail!” More tears came now.
“What? What happened?”
Sam was thankful he kept himself from commenting on the situation.
“Well, she got in a fight. The cops showed up, and once they ran her record, they took her. I don’t know what I should do…”
“Okay, look. Did you get in any trouble? Can you just come home now?”
“I don’t think I’m in trouble. But…I’ve had too much to drink to drive safely. I at least have to wait until the morning.”
“I get it. No worries. Just promise me you won’t take any responsibility for that crazy person. Promise, Sam.”
“Yeah, okay. I’m just scared, and exhausted. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And then she added, “Thanks, Barry.”
Almost as soon as she hung up, her phone rang. It was Valerie, using her one phone call from police headquarters.
“Baby! I need your help.”
Sam held the phone away from her ear and stared at it. For some reason, Valerie’s voice seemed to come from very far away, like a distant planet. Sam had a hard time connecting that voice to anything in her own life.
“Sam? Samantha! I need you.”
“Valerie? Where are you?”
“What the fuck! I’m in jail—you saw them take me. What are you talking about!”
“I know that. You’re in jail. I don’t even know where the jail is…”
“Sam—get a grip! Call Taffy—she knows how this shit works. Bring her with you and get the hell downtown and bail me out.”
Chapter 27: The Price of Freedom
At the county courthouse, Sam and Taffy found Valerie was charged with disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace, plus trespassing. But because she was a convicted felon and had been ignoring her parole requirement, she had been assigned bail. It was Sam’s first time even knowing someone in jail, and she looked at the clerk, and then at Taffy, with wide-eyed fear.
Taffy laughed as soon as the clerk had gone back in the office. “Girl, get over yourself. This is no big deal. It’s just the fuckin’ cops gettin’ too excited about chicks fightin’.”
Sam tried to smile.
“Can you bail your woman out? That’s the best way to go if you can swing it. Otherwise, she’ll be in for days while they review her record and shit.”
Sam thought over her money situation, which she knew was not that great. But she also knew, compared to everyone in Valerie’s world, she was rich. If she ever wanted to be with Valerie, she had to bail her out. Barry will have an absolute stroke! But I don’t know what else to do…
Taffy punched her lightly on the arm, bringing her back to the present moment. She looked at Taffy and made a gesture of confusion. Taffy responded by handing her a flyer with a list of bail bond people. She obviously had done this many times.
Sam took the flyer and sat on one of the benches lining the lobby wall. Taffy sat beside her, thankfully quiet for the moment. Sam read the names several times, and finally chose one that sounded familiar to her: Frank Jameson. It reminded her of someone who might be friends with her father. In desperation, she hung onto this meaningless idea.
* * * *
In Jameson’s tiny office just down the street from the jail, Sam dug through her purse and found her checkbook. While she wrote a check from her personal account for $1,400, Taffy chatted with Frank as if he were an old friend. Sam could think of nothing but getting this disgusting process over with. And getting Valerie home. She had just spent most of her meager savings to do that.
Sam shortly discovered posting bail meant going home and waiting until they notified you of the completed process. It was midday Sunday before she got the call.
Sam knew Barry was wondering when she would be back, but she just couldn’t bring herself to call. Not until she had Valerie out of jail, which she was eager to do.
On the other hand, Sam hesitated to go back downtown to the courthouse. The whole thing made her feel dirty and low-class. Then feeling this way made her feel guilty and snobbish. She stalled by cleaning up the apartment and fixing sandwiches for Valerie to have when she got out.
Finally, Taffy pounded on the door and called out, “Hey, girl! Let’s go get Ms. Val!”
Sam opened the door and let Taffy in, then shoved her feet in shoes and grabbed her purse. With a grim smile, she said, “Okay, let’s do it.”
* * * *
As Sam pulled up in the parking lot of the county jail, she couldn’t help but think this was not what she should be doing—or where she should be. The idea of Emily or Dax finding out about how their mom spent her weekend almost sent her into a panic attack. I have to keep this quiet. And I have to do some serious thinking about this whole thing…
In the courthouse, a clerk met them at the desk and brought some paperwork prepared after Sam posted bail. Thankfully, the clerk was silent—Sam felt like she would lose her composure totally if she had to say any more about what happened or who she was. The charm of being Valerie Leach’s girlfriend was wearing thin.
They waited about thirty minutes after the clerk disappeared with the signed paperwork. Finally, a scruffy looking Valerie walked through the doorway, wearing a huge grin.
“Baby! Samantha! You came for me!” She ran over to Sam and grabbed her in a tight hug. Then she high-fived Taffy, and then hugged them both.
“Whew—that fuckin’ sucked. Get me outta here ladies!”
* * * *
Back at the apartment complex, Taffy left them and went to her own apartment. Sam was relieved to have Valerie to herself. She wanted to talk seriously about what had happened that weekend, but Val just wanted a shower and a drink. “Gotta get the jail stink off me, baby!”
Sam had no answer for this statement except a weak, empty smile. While Valerie took a shower, Sam sat on the bed in a daze, wishing she could just get out of there and go home. In
fact, she had to get going soon to get back before dark and pick up Dax and Emily at their dad’s house. No way would she call Barry and ask him to get them. She was beginning to regret all the times she had bordered on neglecting the kids because of her infatuation with Valerie.
Sam’s painful reverie was broken with the appearance of a naked Valerie in the bathroom doorway.
“Man, that feels awesome! You never know how good it is to be clean until ya spend a night in jail, right baby?”
Sam wanted to say she had no way of knowing this, having never been in jail—but she wisely kept this thought to herself. Instead, she geared up to tell Valerie she had to get on the road right away.
“Hey, Val—I’m so glad you’re home and okay. And I’m glad I could help—bailing you out and all…”
“Yeah, Sam, I do appreciate that. I was hopin’ all along you would come through for me.”
“Well, yeah—I mean, I couldn’t just leave you there. I’m—glad you’re okay. You just have to appear in court like the papers say…I can’t lose that amount of money, ya know?”
“No worries, baby girl. You can count on me. I wouldn’t let you take the heat for my crazy fight. Please don’t give it another thought.”
“Okay,” Sam said, hearing the question in her own voice as soon as the words were out. “But, Valerie—I need to leave now. I have to pick up Emily and Dax. And, you know, Barry…he expects me before dark.”
The change on Valerie’s face was instantaneous. Sam realized she had said the wrong thing, even though it was absolutely the truth.
“Sure, Samantha. Go on home. I know he needs you. Never mind about me.”
Sam tried to smooth things over. “Come on, sweetie. You know I love you, but I have…responsibilities, too.” Sam closed her eyes for a moment and prayed Valerie would let her go peacefully.
But Valerie was frazzled from her night in jail and wanted all Sam’s attention. There seemed to be no room at all for Sam’s kids and family—for Sam’s life outside of these beach weekends. As Sam started to gather her clothes and pack her bag, Valerie began pacing. Sam knew what this usually signaled.
In All the Wrong Places Page 12
