He took my hand in his, and directed it to his hair, and I didn’t fight it—not even when he placed my fingers in the starting position, silently asking me dig them into the thick locks. So I did, trying not to sigh at the feeling. I loved running my fingers through his hair. His eyes closed heavily. “I couldn’t possibly live a lifetime without this feeling.”
I allowed myself one more pass of it then slowly retreated from his grip. I really couldn’t do this right now. Finding what little willpower I possessed, I pushed off the wall. Sliding around him to get closer to my door, he let me. I still hadn’t said anything, and I needed to, but I didn’t know where to begin. This situation definitely required some preparation.
As I opened my door, I steeled myself and finally found the words to voice the loudest thoughts I had right now. Looking over my shoulder at him, I said, “While I appreciate what you said, I think it’s all a little too late. Right now, we both know the only reason you’re here is because you found out I was pregnant.”
Then I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. But I couldn’t move any further. I leaned against the door and closed my eyes, before slowly sliding to the ground. It was silent on the other side of the door. I couldn’t hear him, but I knew he was still there. It was better on this side of the door, I told myself. Even if he was still out there, I could protect myself better this way.
Watching her slip through that door was almost as hard as staying away from her had been. I fisted my hands to prevent from reaching for her, from stopping her. I’d told her she could. That I wasn’t going to stop her so long as she understood I wasn’t going to give up until I was heard.
There was silence on the other side of the door, but I wanted to believe she was there. That she hadn’t run away completely. Then I heard the distinct sound of her sliding down the door. She was there. I smiled, pressing my hand to it before speaking, “That’s not true, Leeann. I’ve wanted to come back and demand you listen to me since five seconds after I left that day, even more so since you collapsed in front of me. I only just figured out you were pregnant.”
Silence met me, and I turned so my back rested against the door. Turning my ear toward the door to make sure I would hear her if she spoke. Seconds later, I heard her soft voice say, “But you told me to get out of there…”
Her voice came from low on the other side, so I slid down the door. I imagined her leaning against it, opposite me. It was comforting in a way. Sighing, I admitted my shame, “Yeah, I did, and I was total asshole. You’d been trying to get ahold of me, so I knew you were there to talk. All I could think about was how you didn’t let me explain that day you were so upset. It made me angry that you wanted the opportunity to talk when you didn’t let me … so I threw your words back at you.”
My voice was thick and full of regret, and I hoped she could hear it. There was no excuse for how I lashed out at her, so I wasn’t going to try and rationalize it. It was quiet for a few minutes as we sat there on our separate sides. Not wanting to waste the opportunity, and hopeful she was still sitting there, I talked. For the first time in five weeks, I talked to her.
“Listen, Leeann, I know I screwed up. Hell, we both did, but we deserve a second chance. A chance without the two of us getting in our own way, because that’s what happened. Both of us had this idea in our head, both of us were hurt, and both of us acted badly. You know I'm right. I know you do. Just like I know you love me. That’s reason enough to try and fix this. To fix us…”
I trailed off when I heard movement from her, and a moment later she spoke softly, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for how I behaved that day.”
She didn’t agree that she loved me, but she also didn’t disagree. That was a good sign. A sign that she was avoiding it, but a sign nonetheless. “But you still think I’m only here because you’re pregnant. Or maybe it’s more that you’re afraid that’s the only reason I’m here.”
Her silence was answer enough. Taking a few moments, I racked my brain, looking for a way to approach this concern of hers. Then it came to me, “Okay, how ‘bout this. Tell me what would’ve happened that day. When you came to see me, to tell me you were pregnant, what would’ve happened next?”
There was still no answer from the other side of the door, but I had to believe she was thinking about what I was saying, so I pushed on. “Were you going to walk away from me that day? Were you there to end things when you announced you were pregnant?” I shook my head as I thought about this. There was no way she would’ve done that. I knew in my heart she loved me, and she wouldn’t have ended things because of a surprise pregnancy. That wasn’t how things went.
“Just think about it, Leeann. When you came to tell me, were you planning to walk away? Were you there to end it? Because I don’t think you were. So if you weren't there to end it, what would've happened if you hadn't seen what you did? Answer those questions, and tell me I'm wrong. Tell me we don't belong together, and I'll let it go..."
Shaking my head in frustration, I hated this door. I had no idea if my words were getting through to her. “I can tell you what I think should’ve happened that day. You should’ve knocked on that door, because I know you needed me. I would’ve been so surprised and happy to see you there, because I hated being away from you during the week.”
Closing my eyes, I rested my head back and watched the possibilities play out in my head like a movie. “You would’ve met my sister and seen my father, and then when they left, you would’ve told me what was going on. We would’ve figured out what to do together. I would’ve held you and loved you and done everything in my power to make sure you were okay. It’s the same thing I want to happen right now. I just need you to let it. I just need you to take that chance on me … on us.”
Tears streamed down my face as I listened to his words. Everything he described, I could see. That was why I’d gone to him, because I believed he would’ve made everything better. That was also why it hurt so badly. The perceived cheating stabbed so hard when I was most vulnerable. Closing my eyes, I tried to think of what I could say to him, but all I could think of was how sorry I was not for not believing in him. I opened my mouth to say just that when Mari interrupted me.
“He’s right you know.” I opened my eyes to find her leaning against the counter in the kitchen. Arms crossed, her face was a mask of determination as she watched me. “The two of you kept getting in your own way. Except right now, that’s all you. And I have to say, it’s getting annoying watching you act the victim, Lee.”
My crying retreated as irritation at Mari surged. “I am not acting the victim here, and I resent you saying that.”
She pushed off the counter and walked toward me. “Oh really, then how ‘bout you tell me why the hell he’s out there while you’re hiding in here. Trying to string him along a little bit? Or is your head just so far up your ass you don’t see it?”
I stood, too, bolstered my anger at her. What the hell was wrong with her? She knew I’d been hurting over Jonathan. First when I thought he’d cheated on me, then again when I discovered it was my own fault for losing him.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Mari.” I was frustrated, and my words came out flat, with no steam. The fact that she had valid points made it difficult.
“I know you’re fucking shit up right now. That there’s a good chance when you come to your senses, that soccer player out there will have moved on and you’ll be left standing there, alone, thinking about what a dumb bitch you were.”
“Hey!” I exclaimed with a stomp of my foot. There was no need for name calling, even if I suddenly felt like one.
Mari shrugged. “I call ‘em how I see ‘em, and you my friend, are being a dumb bitch.”
My temper flared. “Dammit Mari, I’m not being dumb, I’m just scared!” I yelled at her.
She yelled back, “Scared of what?”
“That I won’t be enough for him!” I surprised myself with both my words and the vehemence of them. I ha
dn’t realized this was a concern of mine until Mari pushed me like this. All the bluster left my body, and I sagged back against the door. I knew I’d been avoiding things, but it never occurred to me I’d been hiding behind my fears.
“That’s not possible,” Jonathan said through the door. For a few moments, caught up in my provoked anger, I’d forgotten he was there. I’d forgotten and let my guard down. The smirk on Mari’s face told me she knew what she’d done. And now they were out there. My fear and insecurities that drove the wedge between the two of us, were floating in the air around us, and all I had to do was let them out. But dismissing them left me with nothing to hide behind.
“Open the door, Leeann,” Jonathan demanded from the other side. Mari gave me a knowing look and motioned for me to do the same. Feeling completely exposed, almost robotically, I opened the door. As soon as it was open, Jonathan was there, in my space. With one arm wrapped around my waist, the other found the hair at the back of my head before I was swiftly pulled into his firm embrace. Our bodies aligned perfectly. My arms reacted on instinct and wrapped around him, while my face found the warm skin of his neck. Taking in a deep breath of him, I sighed, letting my body fully relax for the first time in many weeks. I was too tired to cry anymore. Too tired to fight. So I just held on to him.
We stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms for I don’t know how long before Jonathan guided my face out of hiding to look at his. “It’s not possible, Leeann. You’re everything, so how could that not be enough?”
The tears that had taken a temporary reprieve picked up where they left off as I spoke, “But how can you be sure of that?”
His face was intense as he spoke. I could see he was willing to do what he had to, to prove his point. “I can be sure that you’re my everything, because you are. Plain and simple. You’re mine just like I’m yours. I knew it before we broke up, but it’s even clearer to me now. It’s been hard just breathing without you, and as I stand here, with you finally in my arms, I know this without a doubt. Because there isn’t a damn thing I wouldn’t do for you. For us.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I managed to squeeze my next words past it. “For all of us?” He’d said he knew I was pregnant, but that didn’t mean he thought it was a good thing.
The intensity I’d seen on his face moments ago vanished completely, only to be replaced by pure, unadulterated love. “There is absolutely no question about that. You’re both mine.”
He finished his declaration with a kiss. It was sweet and gentle and everything that made the moment touching. Breaking from the kiss, I couldn’t help but ask, “You’re not upset about it? I mean, I still don’t know how, or when, it happened. It was such a shock; I never in a million years would’ve thought I’d be in this position, but…”
Jonathan silenced me with another kiss. This one was more passionate, more demanding. He sought and he took, scattering all my thoughts like leaves on the wind. There was only him. Only us. When his touch softened, and his lips left mine, I opened my eyes to find his gaze on me as he said, “It doesn’t matter, baby, only that it was meant to be. We were meant to be. So for now … let’s just focus on that.”
Falling a little more in love with him, I smiled and repeated him, “For now.”
He pressed his forehead against mine and let out a shaky breath that feathered over my skin. “Now, about that freaking-awesome make-up sex we’ve heard so much about?”
Laughing, feeling lighter than I had in weeks, I wrapped my arms around his neck and said, “Bring it on, soccer player.”
My playlists are very important to me. Some authors can blast music and let their words fly across the screen as they work. I can’t do that because every song I download and put on my playlist, I know every single word to. I sing them. I get lost in them. They come on and I can see parts of the story I’m telling unfold in my mind’s eye and it makes me smile. It guides me. If you’ve read any of my previous novels, I might’ve left a song or two imprinted on yours. It’s because these songs have such a strong role in my writing of Assumptions, that I must share them with you. While I know they may not have the same effect on you, I have to hope you will feel the connection. Maybe you could even tell me which part the song is connected to. Enjoy.
Remember the Name—Fort Minor
Song About a Girl—Eric Paslay
Fallin’ for You—Colbie Caillat
Timber—Pitbull
Dark Horse—Katy Perry
Get Me Some of That—Thomas Rhett
Goodnight Kiss—Randy Houser
Rewind—Rascal Flatts
Addicted—Saving Abel
I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes—Dierks Bentley
I Run To You—Lady Antebellum
She’s Everything—Brad Paisley
Let Her Go—Passenger
Stay—Florida Georgia Line
My Happy Ending—Avril Lavigne
What I need To Do—Kenny Chesney
I Might Get Over You—Kenny Chesney
Come Wake Me Up—Rascal Flatts
Not Over You—Gavin DeGraw
Kiss You Tonight—David Nail
What Hurts the Most—Rascal Flatts
Love Me Again—John Newman
Mine Would Be You—Blake Shelton
Please Forgive Me—Bryan Adams
Follow along on Spotify:
Assumptions
Melanie is an amazing mother of four, an awesome and tolerant wife to one, and nurse to many. If you don’t believe her, just ask anyone in her family, they know what to say. She is also a devoted chauffer, the keeper of missing socks, a genius according to a six year old, the coolest soccer uniform coordinator according to a twelve year old, and the best damn ‘mac-n-cheese-with-cut-up-hot-dog maker in the whole world. Well that last title isn’t really official, but it’s still pretty cool to be called it.
When not being ordered around by any of the kids, you can find her with her nose in a book or on the sideline of a soccer game cheering on one team or another. But that’s mostly because she has a thing for the coach. When she is not doing all of the above, you can find her obsessed with a group of fictional characters all vying for a spot on the page of whatever she’s working on. It’s a fun and crazy life to lead, but wouldn’t have it any other way.
If you liked my book you can keep up with upcoming books, sneak peeks, and more at:
Twitter: @MelanieCodina
Good Reads: http://tinyurl.com/d8bz7mw
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MelanieCodinaAuthor
Thank you for reading Assumptions and please look for more books to come in this series. Remember that the best compliment you can pay an author is to leave a review … We love to read them.
Coming soon for the Assumed Expectations series:
Expectations
Other books
The Real Love Series:
Love Realized
Love Resisted
Love Required
And coming soon…
Love Redeemed
Table of Contents
Dedication
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Table of Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
<
br /> CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
CHAPTER FORTY
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
PLAYLIST
Assumptions Page 28
