by Connie Hall
You mean I’ll be totally free. Nina had enjoyed helping others, but that was before she’d fallen for Kane. She had been content with her drab life. Yes, she knew she had just been existing. She hadn’t been living. But now, after tasting Kane’s passion, she knew she couldn’t go back to that kind of life again.
Take me, Koda. Take me out of here.
It’s a big step. Stop and reflect. Don’t make a hasty decision. I promise you there will be other men in your life.
But I don’t want other men. Nina stood, crossed her arms over her chest and splayed her legs. The man I want is lost to me forever. I beg you to take me to the Quiet Place.
Koda sighed loudly. You should consult the High Council. Talk to the Guardian.
Nina knew her grandmother and Fala would forbid her to do it. They didn’t know how she was hurting. Only she knew that. No, it’s my life. I’ll make my own decision.
Their eyes warred for a long while. When he didn’t see her waver, he finally spoke. Very well.
Nina began walking around the fire, singing the ancient prayer that always took her to the Quiet Place.
Hear me O Maiden of the Light
Guide me through heaven’s heights
To alight in silent flight in the place of quiet sights
Koda joined the litany. She could feel his supernatural energy building behind her, his guttural voice rising in her mind. The flames swept higher, almost touching the cave’s ceiling. The heat of the fire chaffed her cheeks and dried her lips. The air swelled around her and pulsed, keeping time with her heartbeat.
“Granddaughter, stop it this instant!”
At the sound of her grandmother’s stentorian command, the fire instantly went out.
Koda dissolved in a glimmer of light, taking his magic with him. Coward!
Just like Koda to desert her when trouble arrived. Nina really couldn’t blame him for this one. Most spirits avoided Meikoda if they could. She had been the Guardian for decades, and the high priestess of all white magic. All she had to do was inhale wrong and she could suck the life force out a spirit into her own body and absorb it. And as every spirit guide knew, Meikoda didn’t have a lot of patience with them.
At the moment, Meikoda didn’t look all that tolerant of Nina, either. Her face was drawn back in a narrow-eyed frown. Blue fire spit from her bright eyes, and they glowed like two shooting stars.
Her grandmother was the prime example of why looks could be deceiving. She was small, hardly five feet tall. Wrinkles were embedded in every sharp plane of her face and neck. She wore an unassuming jean skirt and white blouse and a thick blue wool sweater she had knitted herself. Her long white hair was braided and hanging down her back. She looked like a diminutive elderly lady, but she was a vessel of power. Nina felt her body humming with it.
Nina lowered her eyes, offering the elder the deference she and her sisters had learned to bestow as young children. Nina knew Meikoda loved her, but she wasn’t the demonstrative grandmotherly type. She had to teach Nina and her sisters to live with their gifts and the huge responsibilities that went with them. It was not for the weak-hearted or the disrespectful. Meikoda demanded obedience. And up until this moment, Nina had had no trouble showing her deference. But she was already wondering if she could call Koda back when she was alone again.
“I always knew you were the most sensitive of your sisters, but I never took you for a quitter.” For a tiny woman, Meikoda’s voice was strong and clear and electrified the air.
It went through Nina like a blade. She stiffened, and her fingers drew up into fists at her sides as she said, “I’m not.”
“Then what were you doing, child? You mope and weep, and now I find you breaking your connections to me and your sisters, to those who love you, for one of loneliness and solitude.”
Tears spilled down Nina’s cheeks. She realized now there were others to consider, others she loved. She’d been selfish. “I’m sorry,” she choked out.
“First Fala. Now, you, Nina. You were the most levelheaded of my grandchildren. I thought you would never have your head turned by a man.”
“He’s special, Grandmother.”
“You love this man so much?” Meikoda approached her and took out a tissue and blotted at Nina’s tears.
“I do. I know it was wrong to go to the Quiet Place. I just didn’t want to feel like this anymore.”
“A broken heart will follow you wherever you go.” The angry brightness in Meikoda’s eyes had dimmed, and Nina could look into them. It was the most compassion Nina had ever seen on her grandmother’s face. “The Quiet Place will not mend it or silence it. As long as you have memories of this man, you will feel the pain. Only time will heal it.”
“Nothing will heal it.”
“Not if you keep it all inside. Tell me about him, particularly how he won your heart, for I am certain no man can deserve you.” Nina began to protest, but Meikoda stopped her with a raised finger. “You may persuade me on the way back to the house and unburden your spirit at the same time.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Nina watched Meikoda stuff the tissue in her sweater pocket, then turn and leave with a swish of her skirt. Nina dragged her feet as she followed her. She really didn’t want to discuss Kane, but she had no choice now. Maybe her grandmother was right. Maybe it would help to close her emotional wounds if she spoke about her seniph.
The sight of Takala standing on the porch, looking for them, alerted Nina that something was wrong. Takala wasn’t hard to miss in her outfit. She wore a tight suede miniskirt and matching brown vest, long beige-and-white-striped tights, mid-calf boots and a green bomber jacket. And, of course, the pounds of silver, which sparkled like a solar flare in the sun.
Takala leaped over the porch railing like a gazelle clearing a six-foot bush and ran across the yard. “Have you told her, yet?” she asked, looking at Meikoda, her eyes gleaming with mischief.
“Told me what?” Nina asked.
At that moment, the storm door on her grandmother’s little rancher opened and Kane stepped out.
Nina had been walking by Meikoda and she stumbled.
With surprising reflexes for her age, Meikoda caught Nina’s elbow before she fell.
“Whoa, guess you haven’t told her,” Takala said.
Meikoda said, “I was waiting for her to convince me he was worthy enough to speak to her. I believe she has.”
The sight of Kane tunneled her vision, and she saw only him. His presence blocked out everything else, and she breathed in the sight of him. He wore a green and yellow rugby shirt and chinos. Cuts and bruises marred his face and neck. A fine sheen of blond hair had begun to grow on his shaved head. Two days’ worth of stubble darkened his chin. And his eyes gleamed with deep green fire. He looked gorgeous, and alive!
Nina could only stand there, stunned, taking in the sight of him.
Takala pushed Nina forward, saying, “Come on, Buddha, you’re ruining this Kodak moment for me. I had hoped for at least a Scarlet and Rhett reunion.”
Nina suddenly felt afraid as she saw Kane walk down the steps toward them. When she thought he was lost to her forever, she could accept not knowing how he felt about her. Now she would find out, and she dreaded the outcome.
As if Meikoda read her mind, she whispered to Nina, “Your first love is not always the one you end up with. The point is that he opened you up enough to make you see your own beauty and that you are every bit as desirable as Fala and Takala ever were. He made you see you are worthy of loving. Embrace it. Stop doubting yourself, and you may be surprised.”
Easier said than done, Nina thought.
Kane approached them, his body growing larger and larger by the moment, seeming to fill up the whole outdoors. His gaze lazily combed her body from head to toe as if he couldn’t believe she was standing before him.
Her heart sped up, and she felt a sudden flush wash over her. She could sense his desire, and she wondered if he was remembering their lovemaking as sh
e was.
“We will have a long chat inside, after you have a moment with my granddaughter.” Meikoda gave him a long, hard warning look that could burn the flesh off his body.
“I’d like that.” Kane didn’t flinch, only met her gaze squarely, unblinking, looking at her with guarded respect. Most supernatural beings could not stare into Meikoda’s powerful eyes for long. It didn’t seem to bother Kane.
Nina closed her eyes and let his rich baritone wash over her. She thought she’d only hear it again in her memories, but he was really here, standing four feet away. It felt like miles for some reason.
When Meikoda was satisfied that she wasn’t going to budge Kane from his purpose, she said to Takala, “Come along. We’ll fix some tea for our guest. We’ll read Mr. Van Cleave’s future in the leaves.”
Takala didn’t look happy about leaving Nina alone, and she punched Kane on the arm and said, “Hurt my little sister, Bruce Willis, and you won’t have a head to shave.” She hurried to catch up to Meikoda. When Takala was behind Kane’s back, she mouthed the words
He’s cute, then gave Nina a thumbs-up.
Nina could see the thoughts swirling behind Kane’s eyes. She could feel his uncertainty now. An uncomfortable silence rose up between them; then he broke it. “So that’s your sister Takala.”
Here we go. Men attracted to her sisters. Never to her. She could write this script. He’d ask if Takala was dating anyone; then he’d start calling her. Nina would have to watch him pick Takala up for dates, watch her not come home at night, wonder what they were doing. Wait! That’s what the old Nina would think. He had been attracted to her. He had come here to see her. And she had felt his lust for her. She was doubting herself. Stop it!
“Yes,” Nina said. “She’s one of a kind.”
“She doesn’t look at all like you.”
“I know.” Nina wanted to wring her hands, but she crossed her arms over her chest.
“What about your other sister, the one who’s the Guardian?”
“She’s a taller version of me.”
“I had hoped to meet them both.”
“Sorry, all you get is Takala. Fala’s on her honeymoon and won’t be back for another few days.”
“I look forward to meeting her.”
That was a good sign. She didn’t want to talk about her sisters like it was the weather and she said, “So, you survived.”
“Yes. Has Ethan gone to your dimension?”
Had he come here only to check on his brother? “I’m afraid so,” she said, hearing coldness slipping into her own voice.
Disappointment pulled at his expression. “I had hoped to say goodbye.”
“You’re too late.” She remembered how he hadn’t told her goodbye in the courthouse. She’d never forget the cold determination in his eyes when he’d ordered her to leave. “He’s very happy.”
“I’m glad.”
Nina changed the subject. “So, how did you get away?”
“After five challengers, the council let me have my freedom.”
“I guess they didn’t want you wiping out all the males in the pride.”
“Not with our birthrates so low.”
Talk about uncomfortable. She was standing here discussing birthrates like it was a headline in the daily paper. She felt them becoming more and more self-conscious as the seconds ticked by. It appeared he hadn’t come to terms with his beast, and he was still overly cautious. She summoned her courage and said, “So, you know about Ethan now. I guess we should go get that tea.”
“Not yet.” He grabbed her arm.
Immediately Nina felt Kane’s desire and uncertainty and something she couldn’t name. But it was compelling and intense and poured through her mind like waves of hot chocolate. She hadn’t felt this feeling coming from him ever before. Not ever.
“Nina, I have to tell you something.”
“What?” Nina folded her arms over her chest and assumed a calm pose, while her stomach coiled in tense knots. She held her breath and waited, her whole world seeming to rest on his next words.
“I treated you horribly the last time I saw you. I should never have let you go like that without telling you how I feel. Will you let me tell you now?”
“I don’t know. You really hurt me.” She looked him square in the eyes.
“I know.” He slid his hand down her arm and grasped her fingers. The warmth of his skin penetrated all the way to her bones. “I couldn’t admit to myself that I needed you. And I was afraid I might hurt you if we were together, but I’ll die without you, Nina. My life is nothing if you’re not in it. If you don’t want me, I understand. I don’t deserve you.” Raw, open tenderness glazed his eyes.
It was the first heartfelt weakness she’d ever glimpsed in Kane, and it gripped the core of her soul and wouldn’t let go. “I know you don’t,” she said in a choked whisper, “but I still love you anyway.”
He gazed at her as if he couldn’t believe her words. “I love you, Nina Rainwater.”
He crushed her against him and held her tight. It felt so wonderful to smell him, to feel his hard, muscular body next to her own, to know he wanted her, to sense the power of his beast. She sighed against him and laid her ear over his heart and listened to it pounding.
“I promise you, I’ll never hurt you. I’d die first.”
“I know that,” she said, loving the sound of his voice rumbling in his chest. “Now shut up and kiss me.”
Kane did just that, and when Nina felt his hot, urgent lips on hers, she sensed the beast’s passion for her as well as the man’s. They merged into one, and she knew Kane had finally accepted his beast, and both halves of him loved her. The power of it took her breath away.
ISBN: 978-1-4592-0218-4
THE BEHOLDER
Copyright © 2011 by Connie Koslow
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*The Nightwalkers
Table of Contents
Books by Connie Hall
About the Author
Letter to Reader
Foreword
Epigraph
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Copyright
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