“You know, it’s going to be hard for you to convince the others that you’re not a Stargazer with that strength you just displayed.”
“They’re monitoring us?”
I looked around and finally I saw a lens to a camera in a corner of the room.
“They monitor all the prisoners. By the way, how was the food? I had to remind the warden that you hadn’t eaten. He didn’t seem all that shook up, but I thought it was important, even if cold soup and tough bread is the least appetizing meal in the world…at least to me.”
“Oh, thank you; I didn’t realize how hungry I was. And the meal was excellent, although, I would like more water.”
“I can do that.”
He touched a part of the wall and a screen came up. He pushed a few buttons and the screen disappeared. The small panel of the wall opened up again, and on the metal tray was a paper cup. He handed it to me. I took it and drank all the water down.
“Thank you,” I said as I gave the cup back him.
“Anything I can do for you.” He put the cup back on the tray and it disappeared behind the white paneled wall.
I looked down at my bare feet. “Can I have some shoes?”
“Sure, but they may not be the most stylish. They’ll be prison issue.”
“That’s okay. My feet are just so cold.”
“Here, let me see.”
I hesitated, confused.
“It’s okay,” he said with a smile.
I turned to him and lifted up my legs so that my feet were in his lap. He rubbed the palms of his hands together a few times and then placed them gently on my feet.
“You weren’t joking. Your feet are like icicles.”
I didn’t respond as he massaged my feet, slowly, tenderly, until they were not only warm, but hot. My female body responded to his male touch, and I felt a desire for him. But I also felt like I was betraying the shadow in my mind--the one who I loved. It was difficult for me, besides all the torture, to not feel for Loren and John. I wanted them to betray me—to hit me—to stab me with a needle—so that I would become detached to this place—this place of horror—and find a way out, possibly, and flee, back to that blue ocean or that green forest where someone was waiting for me.
A little too quickly, I removed my feet from his hands. “I’m okay now,” I said, placing my feet back on the cold floor.
He reached over and touched my arm. I jerked away.
“Sorry, I just wanted to see how cold you were. Would you like some coffee? It might help.”
At the word “coffee” I felt euphoric as if he had said a magic word. I remembered this beverage and that I loved it very much.
I smiled. “Yes, I would.”
He went to the panel and touched a button again. After a few minutes, the coffee appeared in a paper cup, and he handed it to me. “Be careful; it’s hot.”
I took it timidly and felt the steam rising from the black liquid as it hit my face. The smell was overwhelmingly tranquil to me. I blew on the liquid, trying to cool it, before I took a tiny sip. It wasn’t that hot and I was able to drink some more down.
“Good?” he asked.
I nodded and smiled. “Very good; I haven’t had coffee in a long time.”
I tensed, feeling like I had made a mistaken slip of the tongue, and gave him, and anyone who was watching and listening, valuable intelligence.
If he was concerned, he didn’t show it, as his face remained soft and at ease. “Stargazers detest hot beverages and food; that’s why I had your soup sent cold.”
I turned to him. “I don’t understand. You had coffee sent here, believing I was a Stargazer.”
He shook his head. “I’m not totally convinced you are a Stargazer. You have the lavender hair and eyes, of course, and the incredible strength of a Stargazer, but your actions are very human, as well as your love of coffee.” He smiled. “I’m a coffee fanatic too; John, not so much.” He chuckled. “Maybe he’s a Stargazer in disguise.”
“About love,” I began, eager to discuss the reason Loren was sent here, and why it confounded John and the Red Woman so much, “why should it be confusing that I should know what that emotion is?”
“Stargazers have no concept of love. They’re not tender. They’re not sympathetic. They’re not caring. They mimic well, but if one were to observe them for any length of time, it would become apparent that they are acting. It becomes a poor performance by the end.”
“I don’t understand. You had intimate relations with Haiku Noon, yet, you don’t love her?”
Loren blushed, embarrassed. “Yeah, maybe that’s not the correct behavior to have. Before I met you, I wouldn’t have admitted to that, but now…”
I didn’t understand how my arrival could’ve changed his view of casual copulation, but I was glad he was paying attention to me—and not to dissect me like a lab animal.
“I’m sorry she got hurt,” I said tenderly.
“I’m sorry too. It’s best that I refrain from being around the female sex. I wouldn’t want to endanger another innocent girl. But in your case, they sent me in here, without protection. I think they were hoping you’d demonstrate that Stargazer veracity and shred me to pieces.”
I noticed the smile on his face. Obviously, he didn’t think I would do that, but whoever “they” were, wanted to see if I would make good on my Stargazer abilities—if that was what I was. If Stargazers couldn’t love, why could I?
“I didn’t mean to hurt you earlier. I didn’t realize how strong I was.”
“I’m more surprised by the hug. You were hugging me, right?”
I smiled. “Yes, I was happy to see you.”
“See? There’s another bit of confusion. Stargazers don’t show happiness. They never smile.”
“Are they not happy that they’re here, on Earth?”
“Well, I think in the beginning they might have been, but now that the Corporation is hunting them all over the planet, they might be a little bit annoyed.” He winked at me, demonstrating his ability to be comical even with a serious subject.
“Why did they come?”
“No one knows. We assume it was to conquer, but we don’t know their motives, their goals.”
“What about the Resistance?”
I saw him grimace as if I was going to reveal that instance in the large white room when he had that black cube—rebel technology. He didn’t explain to John how he’d acquired it.
“Uh, well, they are outlaws, who defy Sanctuary, and all its ideals.”
He sounded like he was quoting government propaganda.
“Okay,” I said simply, knowing I should end that dangerous topic of conversation. “Were you born in Sanctuary?”
“Yes,” he said with a nod, seeming relieved to be talking about something safe.
“How old are you?”
“Eighteen.”
I gasped. “That’s young to be a doctor.”
He smiled. “A long time ago—maybe—but citizens of Sanctuary from birth are given a shot to enhance their intellectual abilities. So, even at age six, I knew more about psychology than a man in his sixties, before the Brain Boosters were administered to all newborns, of course.”
“Why did you choose psychology?”
“I didn’t. It was in the shot. In Sanctuary, in the Corporation, there are many people who are well-versed in the medical field. Every fifth person is some kind of professional physician. There are a lot of overlaps, but usually, you’ll find in an individual who is more knowledgeable, advanced, in their field, thereby becoming the leading expert.”
“Are you the leading expert in psychology?”
“Yes, but sometimes I don’t feel that way, especially with such an anomaly as you.” He winked and smiled. “Of course, a Stargazer’s mind isn’t completely known to us.”
I had visions running through my head of experiments on Stargazer’s brains, as they lay on a cold table, screaming, hoping it would all end and they would die.
; “Are you going to probe my mind?” I asked in a soft, scared voice.
“Yes, but not in the way you think. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just going to talk to you.”
“But either way, you’re loyal to the Corporation. You will do what they say.”
He hesitated, and then said, “Yes, I will.”
I didn’t believe him, considering he had access to rebel technology, but I nodded my head as if I understood.
“What about Dr. Jamison and Dr. Keller? Am I going to be injected again?”
“I don’t think so. They got their answer from that experiment.”
“What answer?”
“That you’re a Stargazer.”
“But I’m not—I mean I have certain attributes, but what about the coffee?” I asked, holding it up, but it had gone cold.
He took it from me and laid it down on the table next to him.
“I’m completely dumbfounded.” He threw out his hands, confused. “It’s like you’re half-Stargazer, half-human.”
“Is that possible?”
“I don’t know.”
“If I was a Stargazer, a full Stargazer, would I be dead by now?”
He nodded. “You’re officially an anomaly and that’s what’s keeping you alive.”
I looked around at the small, white room—my prison. I didn’t know who I was, but I wasn’t used to such confinement. I used to be free.
“If I have to remain in this cell, I don’t think I want to be alive anymore,” I admitted. Tears started falling down my cheeks. “Can you recommend that? Can you recommend my death?”
He slid closer to me so that our legs were side by side, and then he wrapped his arm around my waist. I reacted to his compassion by leaning against his side, and nestling the top of my head in the crook of his neck. He took my hand and held it, rubbing my skin with his thumb. I thought of John and missed him too.
“I will do everything in my power to see to your well-being.”
I wanted to disagree out loud with his statement. Dr. Loren Valier didn’t really have that much power. The Red Woman did. She had the ear of President Pallas. I wondered about this man, how Sanctuary came to be, how the Corporation got started, when the Stargazers came, and when the Resistance formed. I wanted to know everything, but I also wanted to know nothing, and die.
Chapter 5
There was a buzzing sound and Medusa reappeared. “Doctor Valier, your time with the anomaly is up.”
He sighed and let me go. I felt very cold as he left me. He went to the screen where Medusa was still mechanically moving about and then turned to face me, his face fallen, sad.
“I’ll request for you a pair of shoes.”
“Thank you.”
Medusa disappeared, the screen turned back into the white wall, and then Loren walked through it—out—away from me. I leapt up and advanced to the wall, thinking it was still open somehow, but when I pressed my hands against it, I met a cold resistance. They had either locked access or I wasn’t allowed to leave, but others could enter. I wasn’t fully aware of their technology or of the Resistance, but it seemed very advanced. I wondered at the Stargazer technology. Surely, a race of aliens from another planet would be exceptionally advanced, right?
I sat back down on my cold table, feeling the few spots of warmth where Loren and I had sat previously. I scooted over to where he had sat, desiring to be near him. I didn’t know if I loved him, because I barely knew him, but he made me feel somewhat safe, even though I knew he was limited in influence. I also desired to see John. I felt a strong lure to him as well. He had been comforting, even though back in that large room, he had me put back under restraints. He said he did it to protect me. Back then I thought Loren would have never done that, but now, after leaving me in this prison cell, I knew that he didn’t have a lot of authority when it came to me—the anomaly. He was allowed only so much. I feared for him. He had rebel technology, which was most likely, punishable by death. Even being the president’s nephew couldn’t elicit a stay in my execution. Just by being with Senator’s Noon’s daughter, in that way, close to the president’s statue, was enough for the Red Woman to get him sentenced to clean up detail, although, it seemed to me a light punishment. I had never seen the statue, but I would prefer cleaning the gunk off of that if it meant I never had that horrible black liquid injected in me by Dr. Keller.
I looked over at the half empty coffee cup Loren had placed on my table. The coffee was black too. I picked the cup up, and stared at the pitch black dark liquid inside. It still smelled good, but not as much as before. I took another sip. It was cold and I could taste more of the sugar. I smiled. I didn’t ask for sugar. Loren must have ordered it that way, probably reflecting his own preference for how he liked his coffee. I remembered his remark about John; about how he didn’t like the hot beverage—how he might be a Stargazer—joking, of course. I got the feeling that he was trying to dissuade me from John, to separate us, because maybe, Loren wanted me to give my attention only to him. It was jealousy. Did Loren like me? Did John? Why should they? I was a freak. I was the enemy.
I drank down the rest of the cold coffee and placed the cup on a small table next to my large table—meant to be my bed. Then I lay down and stretched my legs out. But I became cold and pulled them in, mimicking an unborn child in a mother’s womb. I didn’t remember having a mother or a father, but I knew that every child, even if their parents weren’t around, existed, once upon a time, to create them. I was created. Where were my parents? Did I have any siblings? Were they looking for me? Did they even care?
I hugged myself, shivering, trying not to cry. After a little while, at the foot of my table, a white panel opened and out came a metal tray with a blue blanket on it. I smiled, thinking, hoping it was Loren, who urged someone out there to be compassionate to my needs. I snatched up the blanket and let it drown me from head to toe. I began to relax, feeling warm, as my legs stretched, and I closed my eyes, entering a black world of blissful sleep.
***
If I were a Stargazer, then I had the same bodily needs and requirements as humans, so in the middle of the night or day—I didn’t know that time it was—I had to go to a privy.
“Are you there Medusa?” I called out.
The white wall turned black as the screen appeared.
“Yes?” she replied.
I sat up on the table, keeping the blanket around me. It was still so cold in here. Either they were trying to punish me by keeping it cold, or they thought since I could be a Stargazer, that I would prefer the cold, as the aliens preferred cold foods. Well, I wasn’t a Stargazer in that respect, and I was freezing.
“I need to go to the restroom.”
“I understand. At attendant will be with you shortly.”
“Thank you.”
Medusa tilted her head to the side. “You are welcome.”
I didn’t know what that meant. She could have received information through one of her tubes in her head, or maybe she was just confused that I was being nice to her. There was no point in being rude to her. She hadn’t done anything to me. She was compliant like all Corporate workers probably were. John, Loren, and even Victor Jamison to a certain extent, were a bit rebellious.
“Who will be the attendant?”
“That is still being decided.”
“Will it be a man?”
“Do you want to request a man?”
“Well, I’m kind of scared of women right now, but I don’t want to do what I have to do…around a man.”
Even though I was comfortable with John and Loren, I didn’t want them to see me go to the restroom.
“I will make a recommendation for you.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“I can recommend. Ultimately, your attendant will be whomever the presiding physician deems appropriate.”
“And who is my presiding physician?”
“President Pallas.”
I gasped. “The president is a doctor?”
>
“The Beneficial One is everything.”
“What’s his expertise?”
“He is an expert in everything.”
I sighed, realizing Medusa was probably coded to worship Julius Pallas.
“I understand, but if you could help me out, I would appreciate it.”
“How may I help you?”
“I want an attendant who is nice.”
“Nice?”
“By nice I mean, friendly, warm, compassionate, and someone who doesn’t want to torture me.”
“I am scanning employee files now.”
Medusa tilted her head every which way, pushing buttons—accessing information. Finally, she stopped moving and faced me. “I have located a suitable attendant. Would you like to see her information?”
“Yes, okay.”
The screen split and Medusa was pushed to the left. On the right was a photo of a young female with brown hair in curls, and a nice smile on her face. Her name was Henrietta.
“Is she a doctor?”
“No, she is a slave.”
“Oh, that’s wrong! I can’t have someone forced into helping me!”
Although, given the structure of the Corporation, I wasn’t surprised at them having slaves, but it was still a shock.
“Slaves are vital to Sanctuary,” Medusa told me. “They relish the opportunity to serve.”
I shook my head, unsure. “I don’t know, Medusa.”
“Is she insufficient to your needs?”
“What would she help me do?”
“She would do whatever you required of her.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. “Are there any alternative attendants?”
She tilted her head some more and then said, “There is one available who is authorized to attend to your needs.”
“Who is it?”
“Doctor Victor Jamison.”
I shook my head vigorously. “That is the last person who is going to help me go to the restroom.”
“Am I correct in assuming you would prefer the slave, Henrietta?”
“She’s nice, right?”
“She is required to act in any manner you desire.”
I didn’t want to force a girl to help me to the restroom, but I didn’t want Victor, who acted nice, but kept pumping me full of that black liquid. I should’ve known Pallas wouldn’t have made John or Loren my attendants.
Stargazer Page 5
