by Anirban Bose
This undercurrent of fanatical competition was effectively camouflaged in the animated bustle of the huge dissection hall where the entire class gathered to dissect cadavers and learn about the intricacies of human anatomy. Eight batches of twenty-six students huddled around a corpse, trying to figure out what in the world they had sliced their way through. Adi’s batch was a motley crew of late arrivals. He chose to limit his fraternization to Rajeev, Toshi, Sam and Harsha, never finding the courage to approach the other person in his batch who held his interest – Renuka.
‘So, Adi, have you done something yet?’ asked Sam one day as they hung out on the periphery of the gathering around the cadaver while the others dissected with an enthusiasm that completely eluded the two of them.
‘Done something about what?’
‘Renuka, man. Have you taken her out…like a date?’
‘No…I’ve never done it.’
Sam gave him a disapproving look. ‘You’ve never dated anyone?’ he asked.
‘No. I guess it’s not too common in a small place like Ranchi.’
Sam looked shocked. ‘Man, what is this…the eighteenth century? Did you at least talk to the girls in your class?’
‘I went to an all-boys’ school.’
‘Aaargh,’ said Sam, hanging his head in mock despair. ‘Adi, you’ll need a lot of help. Someone else in your place would have had a few kids with Renuka by now.’ He laughed at his joke while Adi could only smile indulgently.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ said Adi. ‘I mean, she hasn’t ever said anything.’
‘What do you expect her to do, man? You’ve got to make some moves too.’
‘I suppose…but you know, I’m not even sure she likes me or has feelings…’
Sam gave him a perplexed look. ‘Going out with her doesn’t mean you have to marry her tomorrow, Adi. If you like her, you have to try to get to know her better and let her get to know you better. How is she going to like you if all you do is give her sly looks in class?’
Adi nodded, mulling over Sam’s advice, wondering if he had the gumption to act on it. Maybe he would ask her out. Ask her to a meal, or a movie…or both. But what if she refused, or worse, stopped talking to him?
Suddenly Sam whispered, ‘Grab Cunningham, Adi! Gomke!’
They dived for their Anatomy dissection guidebooks. In the aftermath of that incident between Sam and Dr Gomke, she kept an eagle eye on them.
Dr Gomke waddled to the middle of D-hall. ‘Class,’ she declared loudly. ‘I have an announcement. Since the class is now complete, we will reassign roll numbers according to last names and form new batches.’
Loud groans ensued. Nobody, it seemed, wanted this rearrangement. Adi empathized: except for Sam and Harsha, they would all be in different batches. That meant no Rajeev, Toshi or…Renuka. He joined in the loud chatter, voicing his indistinguishable protest.
‘Silence!’ demanded Gomke, and silence materialized immediately. ‘The new roll numbers and batches have been put up on the notice board downstairs. You can look at it after dissection is over.’
She shot one parting glare at Sam before slowly ambling out.
The class broke into loud chatter as soon as she was out of earshot. The displeasure at the turn of events was almost unanimous.
‘I thought she was going to eat me alive,’ said Sam. ‘I hope the witch goes to hell and has to dance nude for the devil. Imagine her dancing on the table with her tits jiggling like dried oranges. I think the devil might just quit hell.’
Adi laughed. He began to arrange his bag, preparing to follow the rest of the class to the notice board downstairs.
‘So, you think this is funny?’ said Renuka, who had quietly slid up next to him.
Adi sobered up immediately. ‘What…no, no,’ he said. ‘Sam cracked a joke about Gomke. So that’s why…’
‘But does this bother you or no?’ Clearly it bothered her.
‘Of course,’ he said.
‘Why does it bother you?’
‘Why…? I don’t know. It was nice in this batch.’
‘That’s it? Nice in this batch?’
Adi fumbled, looking for something smart to say. ‘No… I guess we will have to make new friends…’
‘So you’ll make new friends too?’
Adi couldn’t understand why it was so hard for him to say the things he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that the prospect of separation bothered him, and that he too had protested this move, and that he would miss her. But in her presence, his tongue always twisted into a dyslexic lump.
Renuka stood waiting for him to regain his eloquence. Then, with an exasperated sigh, she said, ‘Well, see you later,’ and began walking away.
‘No, no Renuka…wait,’ said Adi, running behind her. ‘Would you like to have coffee with me?’
Whereas Adi’s sudden bravado surprised her, it shocked him, leaving him immediately with a terrible knot in his stomach. It grew knottier the few moments she spent contemplating her answer.
Then, the edges of her lips curled into a smile, and she said, ‘Okay... how about 4:30? Where do you want to go?
‘The Central Canteen?’
‘CC? Oh, well…okay.’
‘Great!’ smiled Adi, now that it was easier to breathe. ‘I’ll see you there.’
She smiled and walked away.
Everyone else had crowded around the notice board, trying to locate their names on the new list. Adi ignored the list and ran out. He found Sam and Rajeev walking towards the hostel.
‘Sam... Sam,’ he called from behind. ‘I did it. I did it, man!’
They stopped and stared at Adi.
‘I asked her out, man... and she agreed!’
‘That’s great.’ Sam grinned and filled Rajeev in.
Rajeev broke into a smile. ‘All right, Adi! Where are you going? Movie? Dinner? There is a great movie for couples in Sterling…’
‘No, no. It’s just for some coffee in the canteen,’ said Adi.
Sam and Rajeev looked shocked. Then, almost simultaneously, they started laughing. Sam put his arm around Adi’s shoulders. ‘Man, Adi... you need a lot of coaching. You are terrible.’
‘Why? What did I do?’ asked Adi.
‘What did you do? You are going to take her out for the first time, and decided on the campus canteen to have coffee for Rs1.50? This is how you plan to impress her? Take her somewhere nice, man; you know…a nice restaurant on Marine Drive. Have dinner if possible; if not, then coffee is fine. Take a walk along Chowpatty. Not the bloody rat-infested, noisy, dirty canteen, with its steel cups and twisted spoons, man!’
‘Oh... okay. But I told her I’d meet her there at 4:30.’
‘Well, you still have half an hour. Why don’t you go and freshen up in the hostel and then meet her in the central canteen? Then you can suggest real casually that CC looks kind of dirty and that you know a good place on Marine Drive.’
‘Oh…okay,’ said Adi, nodding appreciatively.
They showered him with advice while heading back to the hostel.
‘Use only taxis, no buses…. and open the door for her.’
‘Brush your teeth now…. Use my aftershave.’
‘Carry a handkerchief…the way you are sweating, carry two.’
‘Don’t forget to laugh at all her jokes.’
By the time Adi reached the hostel, only twenty minutes remained. He showered, quickly brushed his teeth and changed into a new set of clothes. Sam emerged with some aftershave and Rajeev lent him his clean pair of jeans. Toshi offered him his new Nike shoes. Someone filled his wallet with a few hundred-rupee notes. Dressed to kill, Adi looked in the mirror while Sam, Rajeev and Toshi stood back and admired their handiwork.
Adi was about to leave when Pheru walked into their room.
A sudden silence descended on the gathering. Adi stared at Pheru, wondering what he wanted this time. Why wouldn’t he just leave them alone?
Before Pheru could say anything, Toshi
said, ‘You’d better leave, Adi. You don’t want to be late.’
Adi felt an immediate need to get away from Pheru. He was about to step out when Pheru said, ‘Don’t forget, she is a vegetarian.’
Surprised, Adi said, ‘What? How do you know?’
He winked and said, ‘The place to go is Pandits. A little expensive, but the best for vegetarians. Short walk from Churchgate’
Adi smiled. Another round of advice followed.
‘Good luck champ and don’t burp!’
‘Go easy on her boobs, man,’ said Sam, and everyone laughed.
Adi ran towards the canteen. He was at the front entrance just as the wall clock inside the canteen proclaimed it was 4:30 p.m. Out of breath, he looked around the crowded canteen. She wasn’t inside. Somewhat surprised, he scanned the faces again, unsure of what to make of her absence. He felt silly hanging around aimlessly at the door of the busy canteen, and decided to wait inside. He found an empty seat next to a window and occupied it. A twinge of nervous excitement ran through his body as he scoured the faces of those walking towards the canteen. Was that her in the red salwar kameez…no, Renuka wore her hair down and she was far prettier.
Adi smiled to himself, reassured that he had made it on time. His thoughts drifted to Pheru, and how he seemed to know everything. His resources were amazing. But something about Pheru’s presence was also ominous. He carried bad luck like a stray dog carries fleas – fleas that could bite hard if you came too close…like they bit Sam…
Adi chuckled nervously to himself. How could Pheru influence his plans with Renuka? After all, she had said she would meet him. It certainly wasn’t his imagination.
Five minutes rolled into ten. The waiter made two trips to see if Adi wanted to order anything. He decided against it, hoping to leave as soon as she arrived. Shetty, the canteen owner, kept shooting nasty glances at Adi, irritated that he was tying up a seat without generating any business. Adi looked away, pretending to be deeply engrossed in a torn sheet of newspaper. Every now and then he stole glances at the door.
Fifteen minutes passed and then twenty. Adi’s palms started to feel moist. He wiped them on his jeans, reminding himself of the necessity to keep his palms dry should fate present the opportunity to hold her hand.
Thirty minutes later, when Renuka had not yet put in an appearance, a hint of doubt crept in. He had heard her say yes…hadn’t he?
He debated what to do next. Waiting forever obviously wasn’t an option. She was from Bombay, and would no doubt return home in the evening. Should he find his way back to the hostel? Perhaps he should leave word with someone?
After forty-five minutes had passed, Adi decided to order half a cup of tea. That would be easier to abandon when she showed up. The increasingly nasty expression on Shetty’s face made his decision easier.
The half-cup was over pretty soon, closely followed by two more half-cups. Adi sipped the dark brown concoction, gingerly glancing at the wall clock every so often, his mind tensely revisiting the events of the afternoon.
She had said yes…she had smiled and said she’d be there. He was there on time…wasn’t he…of course he was…his watch was working fine.
If only that blasted Pheru had not walked in.
Ever since the day Pheru had advised Sam to stand for CR, nothing other than bad luck had come their way. Sam had suffered a humiliating defeat and, as it turned out, for no reason. The hostel’s warden had decided that he liked the idea of room distribution according to marks so much that he would implement it at the next distribution with or without the hostel secretary’s blessing. That evening Pheru had dropped into their dorm, uninvited, to cheer Sam up. However, instead of raising his spirits, he had managed to spread misery yet again. Rajeev had kicked the door shut angrily after Pheru’s departure, only to fracture Toshi’s thumb in the process. Then there was the toaster Pheru had ‘gifted’ Harsha that had blown out some fuses and left them sweltering in the dark dormitory for three days. The worst part was that Pheru hadn’t learned his lesson. He would walk into their room as though such frequent intrusion was a natural extension of his acquaintance with them. They would quieten down immediately and hope that Pheru would take the hint and leave them alone. Instead, his visits only grew more and more frequent.
Damn Pheru…it was his fault…all his fault.
Adi leaned against the wall and stared at the clock, feeling his expectations wither with every tick of the clock’s hands. Outside, the shadows of the trees grew longer, stretching to twice their actual height. Everything started to acquire a bright orange glow as the sun hung low in the horizon. A cool breeze began blowing through the open windows. Adi stared ahead blankly, thoughts buzzing through his head without being able to drop anchor. In the background, people seemed like ants, scurrying about their business with scant regard to his gnawing insecurity.
So many people. So many voices. So much noise.
More half-cups of tea followed: the warmth of the brew provided a vague comfort to the ache in his heart. He stopped looking up the road, focusing his attention instead on the few that walked in through the door. His palms had stopped sweating and the small tea stain on his shirt didn’t bother him anymore. He stretched out his legs, only to realize that Toshi’s new Nikes hurt from being too tight around his feet.
The clock marched on to half-past five, then six.
No matter how many times Adi visited the scene from the afternoon, the images played out with adamant consistency – she had smiled and said she would come. There had to be a reason…a mal-alignment of the stars perhaps. An astounding reason of infinite significance had to have delayed her…or, did it have something to do with Pheru?
It had to! Everything had been fine until he showed up. Pheru was a walking disaster…bringing misery to whomever he touched. Rajeev was right – he needed to be got rid of! God knows how many other lives he had ruined!
Finally, at half-past six, Adi decided to leave. He headed towards Shetty to pay for the six half-cups of tea that had kept him company. As he laid the crisp twenty-rupee bill on the counter, Shetty asked in his thick south Indian accent, ‘What…you sat for over two hours and only had tea? How will my business run like this…you should eat something, no?’
‘Sorry,’ blurted Adi. ‘I was actually waiting for someone. A girl… Renuka.’
Shetty’s face changed expressions like a chameleon changing colour. He slapped his forehead, bit his bright red tongue, and exclaimed, ‘Arre…so it was you? A girl came at 4.15 or so and said someone was to meet her here and to tell him that she was going home because she got a ride in somebody’s car, and that she would not be able to meet today… But she said you would be wearing a blue shirt and black pants, not a red T-shirt and jeans pant… Oh, Rama…sorry…sorry, but how do I know? I have to serve so many people and if the fitting is not right, what can I do? Now, she said blue shirt and black pant…Oh Rama, Rama…okay, okay… You…you only pay for two cups, okay? Don’t feel bad. Okay? Don’t feel bad.’
Adi headed towards the hostel lost in a maze of haphazard thought. ‘Don’t feel bad’ Shetty had said to him. What did that mean? Was he feeling bad for himself or was he sad to have missed her? Should he feel bad about her betrayal or get mad at Pheru? Or was he just glad for Shetty’s explanation?
Bad…sad…had…mad…glad…
It had started out about going for coffee, when had it transformed into a date? Was it so important to get a ride home? Could she not have waited a few more minutes for him? And why had Pheru come into the room? Who had asked him to come in? How dare he walk into their room just because they were freshies who couldn’t say no?
Mad…sad…bad…glad…had?
Stumbling through the long corridor, Adi made his way towards the dorm. As he passed Pheru’s room, he noticed that the door was slightly ajar. He paused outside, for the first time in no hurry to rush past. The bastard was probably asleep after having ruined his day.
Adi’s heart began to race and h
is breath acquired a turbulent warmth. His hands folded into tight fists. His temples began to throb, and blood rushed past his ears, drowning out all warnings of Pheru’s rung in the hostel’s pecking order.
He pushed open the door roughly and walked in.
Pheru’s back was towards him, his head buried in his arms as though seeking shelter from the sky that was about to fall down. Wedged between the fingers of his right hand was a card that he hastily flicked away upon hearing the door open. He turned around swiftly, smiled at Adi, and quickly drawing up his shirt, started wiping his face. His motioned Adi to take a seat.
‘So? How was it, man? Did you have fun?’ asked Pheru from behind the impromptu veil, his muffled voice soggy with the heaviness that tears impart.
‘Yeah...yeah,’ Adi replied evasively, shocked to see Pheru in this state. He stepped back, suddenly unsure about his presence in the room. His fists unfolded spontaneously and the heavy thudding in his chest subsided to a gentle rhythm.
Pheru…crying? Was he crying? Did he cry? Could he cry?
‘What…what’s wrong?’ asked Adi. ‘Were you…crying?’
‘Ahh…no man,’ chuckled Pheru, looking away, trying hard to hide his embarrassment. ‘I… I just got a card from Abbu…my father. That’s all. Nothing to it.’
‘Is he all right? Were you missing him or something?’
‘Missing him?’ smirked Pheru. ‘No, Adi. I’m not missing him. Abbu sends me a card for everything. I tell him that I’m happy, he sends me a card. I tell him I’m sad and he sends me a card. I tell him that I might get thrown out of the hostel in another year and might have to stop studying medicine…and he sends me a card. His secretaries probably fill it out and sign it. Fucking shit!’
