This was pure bliss.
She plunged herself down and rubbed against him, again and again until a rushing flood of sensation overwhelmed them both. Jocelyn threw her head back and cried out; Donovan ground his hips forward, pushing into her with all his might. They climaxed simultaneously. It was the most incredible orgasm Jocelyn had ever experienced.
Weak and out of breath, she collapsed upon him. He held her for a few minutes, then rolled her over onto her back. She gazed up at him adoringly for a long, long time.
He leaned on one elbow looking down at her, caressing her face, playing with her hair. “What changed your mind about this?”
She took a moment to think about that. “It wasn’t really a rational decision. If I was being rational, I wouldn’t be here like this, naked and completely vulnerable on a beach with you. It was more of a surrender. I just couldn’t fight it anymore.”
“It being…?”
She ran her fingers through his hair. “The way I feel about you. The way you make me forget what I’ve somehow become, and make me remember that I’m a woman.”
“You’re all woman, Jocelyn. Even when you’re pointing a gun at a stalker or speeding through the streets of Chicago. You turn a guy on. Don’t ever forget it.”
She smiled up at him, wishing this moment could last forever, but knowing it couldn’t. She had to go back to being on guard. She could not relax like this again. Or at least not without some preparatory safety precautions.
“Tell me,” he said in a low, sexy voice, “when would you like your services returned? I’m willing, and surprisingly enough, considering the brevity of our conversation just now, I’m quite able.”
Jocelyn laughed. “You may be, but I need a break. My legs are like jelly!”
“Not to worry. You don’t even have to move, just relax and stay on your back.”
She slapped his chest. “You sound like you’d have me sleep through it.”
“Your comfort is my first priority. If you want to sleep, that would be fine.”
“While you’re doing that?”
He laughed again. “I’m joking Jocelyn. Why don’t we go for another swim before we go inside?”
She gazed up at his warm, friendly eyes and felt relaxed. Safe. It was an unfamiliar sensation indeed. “All right.”
He stood and helped her up. Jocelyn pointed down at her bra and undies on the grass. “I guess I don’t need those now.”
“Definitely not. Let’s go.” She took his hand, and laughing, they dashed naked across the dark beach and splashed with abandon into the lake.
Later that evening, after Donovan had a shower, he went downstairs to make popcorn. He could hear the shower still running in Jocelyn’s bathroom, so he took his time getting things ready—lighting some candles, pouring their drinks, fluffing up the pillows on the blue chintz sofa.
She was taking a long time in the shower, he thought, as he opened the popcorn jar and went searching for cooking oil. He hoped she didn’t regret what they’d done. He certainly didn’t. In fact, he’d never been so ecstatic about making love to a woman before. Then again, he’d never known a woman like Jocelyn.
He found the oil and poured some into the heavy pot he’d set on the stove, then stood and stared down at it while he waited for it to heat up.
What was it about her that drove him so unbelievably wild? He wanted her, but more than just sexually. He wanted to be close to her—to get to know her and to reveal himself to her as well. He wanted to know everything about her childhood and her adulthood and her job and her personal life. He wanted to tell her about all his shortcomings and all his successes. Everything. He wanted her to know everything.
His insides stirred with an odd mixture of elation and fear. Was this love, or the beginnings of it?
Maybe it was, but how could he be sure? He’d never loved a woman before. He’d felt lust for them, yes, and been infatuated with girlfriends during high school and med school, but never had he loved any of them. He’d never felt a desire to enter into a commitment, or spend every waking minute of every day with them. He’d never felt connected to any of them, not like he did with Jocelyn. Perhaps it was her down-to-earth nature. She didn’t put on any false airs. She was real, and he felt like he knew her as deeply as he knew his own soul.
An unfamiliar warmth moved through him, and he exhaled a deep sigh of tranquillity. It was one of the most pleasant sensations he’d ever experienced. He smiled.
A half a second later, something deep inside him warned him to be careful. He’d never given his heart to anyone before, and it wasn’t so easy to let go of years of independence. There was also the fear that a relationship with Jocelyn might not work out. How the hell would he handle it if she disappeared from his life?
He’d been there before, to that devastating place.
In fact, he’d always been there. The sense of being alone was a part of his identity, even when he was with other people.
Except for Jocelyn.
A ripple of apprehension flowed through him. This was dangerous. In addition to his skepticism, she was still his bodyguard and he knew she wouldn’t be ready or willing to shirk her responsibilities in order to become his full-time lover. She’d made it clear that she didn’t like to get involved with clients, nor was she looking for a committed relationship. How many times had she told him that she didn’t need anything in her life outside of her work?
Feeling suddenly nervous and uncertain about what was going on between them, he poured the popcorn kernels into the pot and covered it.
Jocelyn came out of her room a moment later, wearing a white terry cloth bathrobe and huge white socks that pooled around her ankles. She was rubbing a towel over her wet hair.
Donovan was mesmerized. “How is it possible you can look so good, just coming out of the shower?”
She gave him the bright, sparkling smile he’d been waiting to see. It almost knocked him backward into the pot.
Relief poured through him. He’d been worrying that she would feel awkward and uncomfortable when she came out, or be full of remorse. He’d been preparing himself for her to avoid meeting his gaze entirely.
“You’re a charmer.” She moved toward him and kissed him on the cheek. He wanted to laugh out loud with joy.
“What’s cooking?” she asked.
“Popcorn.”
She glanced at the pot. “You’re making it on the stove? What a treat.”
“You’re the treat,” he replied, enjoying the way she winked flirtatiously at him, then turned around and walked, hips swaying, into the living room.
He returned his attention to the stove and shook the pot continuously until a mouthwatering, movie-theater aroma filled the kitchen and the popcorn raised the lid right off the pot. He poured the popcorn into a bowl, then he melted butter to drizzle over the top.
Jocelyn was sitting on the sofa, twirling her hair around a finger, waiting for him. As soon as he set the bowl down on the coffee table, she pulled her legs up under her. “Donovan, we really have to talk about what happened between us tonight.”
He was about to sit down, but found himself frozen on the spot. He couldn’t move. “You asking me to politely back off is becoming a regular routine.”
She took his hand. “I know, I’m sorry. Please sit down.”
He gave in and did as she asked, though he would have preferred to go back to the way he’d felt five minutes ago when she’d given him that dazzling smile.
“Sounds like you did some thinking while you were in the shower.”
He tried to fight the dread that was seeping into his gut, but it was worse this time. There was more at stake. The other times, his feelings for her hadn’t had the chance to burrow too deeply inside him. He hadn’t made love to her. He hadn’t felt her warmth in his hands and in his heart. But now…he was too far over the edge.
“Yes, I did, and I think we need to set out some parameters.”
“Parameters?”
Damn,
he wasn’t ready for the disappearing act yet. Despite his fears, he wanted more of her. He wanted to get inside her soul. He’d certainly come a long way toward that end, but as of now, there was still so much he didn’t know about her. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“I know, but it’s important, considering the situation. I can’t risk your safety.”
He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Look, I know you feel like you lost control down there at the lake, and I’m sorry if I pressured you into coming in, but you have to admit, what happened because of it was pretty great.”
She squeezed his hand. “I’m not denying that at all. It was incredible, Donovan.”
At least she was giving him that.
“We can manage this,” he said. “You told me that we’re safe here, that it’s low-risk. The chances of anyone finding us are—”
She touched a finger to his lips to hush him. “You don’t have to talk me into anything. I had a great time, too, and I want to do it again. I have every intention of it, actually.”
His whole body flooded with relief, followed by heat and desire, in response to her blatantly sexual confession. “I beg your pardon?”
“I told you I’d done some thinking in the shower. I decided that because this is a low-risk detail at the moment, and since we’ve already broken the ice, so to speak, that we should set out some parameters to make sure that we can work it out. To make sure that we can make love again, and still exercise caution.” She waved a hand toward the lake. “That was definitely not cautious.”
“So, you’re saying…”
“I’m saying I think we should stick to your bedroom from now on. With the door locked and the monitor on.”
Donovan felt all the tension drain out of his shoulders like liquid. It was replaced by another type of tension—the kind that required a very satisfying cure.
He leaned back on the sofa and raked his fingers through his hair. “Thank God!”
Jocelyn laughed. “What, did you think I was going to torture you for the next few days? Torture both of us?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what I thought. I was afraid of that, I guess.”
She swayed toward him and took his face in her hands. “What happened down at the lake was amazing, Donovan. I have no regrets. We’re here in this great spot, I’m attracted to you and you seem to be attracted to me. We’re both adults, so I don’t see why we shouldn’t enjoy each other, as long as we act responsibly and take precautions.”
She was making it sound like a casual, temporary fling.
A part of him wanted to talk her out of that—to convince her that they could be so much more than that, if they tried.
But in light of the uncertainty he still felt about how willing he was to risk his own heart, he decided it would be best to just nod and say yes. She was offering a few days of no-strings-attached lovemaking. Maybe it was all she could give. For all he knew, maybe it was all he could give. He couldn’t possibly predict, because this was uncharted territory.
This was a good thing, he decided, smiling at her and leaning in for a kiss. It would give them both time to get to know each other, without ever really committing to anything more. Then, if it didn’t work out, it wouldn’t be too serious.
At least, he didn’t think it would be. Considering the way he felt at the moment—all hot and bothered and emotionally exhilarated—there might not be any way to prevent it from becoming serious.
Jocelyn raked her fingers through his hair and kissed him deeply, distracting him from his thoughts. Heady temptations seared his brain.
He tried to ease her back onto the sofa, but she rested her hands on his chest. “Remember what I said.”
“Precautions?”
“Yes. So why don’t we take that popcorn upstairs and eat it later?”
He smiled down at her and kissed her one more time. “I like the way you think.”
She raised a flirty eyebrow and got up, taking him by the hand and leading him to the stairs.
He would just have to be patient, he decided, and see where the next few days would take them….
“You know, I was actually surprised that you hired me,” Jocelyn said the next morning as she pulled the drapes open across the huge windows.
Donovan leaned up in bed on one elbow, the white sheet slung across his waist. “Why?”
“Because I’m a woman.”
Jocelyn gazed down at the awesome sight of his handsome face and muscular, sun-bronzed chest, and felt her insides melt, but she fought the urge to get back in bed and make love with him, because they’d already made love twice that morning, and they needed breakfast.
“You had a great reputation,” he said.
She went to get her bathrobe, on the floor by the door. “Yes, but I didn’t think you considered me a real bodyguard. Part of me thought you just wanted me to come and stay in your penthouse because you thought I was cute and it would be fun.”
He smiled, looking taken aback. “It was fun.”
She picked up one of his socks on the floor and flung it at him.
“Seriously,” he said, “I did need a new alarm system, and for some reason I trusted you to provide the security I needed.”
“But would you have given in so easily to Mark and hired me if I had been a short, bald man?”
He gazed at her for a moment. “What’s with the questions?”
She pulled on her robe, tied it around her waist, and shrugged.
He pointed at her. “You just want to know if I’m still the playboy that you thought I was when you first met me, and if you’re my most recent diversion.”
Jocelyn combed her fingers through her hair, wishing he wasn’t always so perceptive where her emotions were concerned. Even though she’d come to realize he wasn’t at all shallow, she was still afraid of something. She wasn’t quite sure what it was yet. “You can’t blame me. I suppose I want to understand what’s going on between us.”
His chest heaved with a sigh. “I thought last night you said this was just about enjoying each other while we’re here.”
Was that really all he wanted? she wondered, surprised at how hurt she felt by his reminder. She should have asked him what his intentions were at that moment, but she couldn’t. A question like that would be too needy and demanding, and he was right, she had said they would just enjoy each other. She’d offered him a few nights of pleasure, nothing more—it was what she’d wanted herself—and she had no right to change her mind now.
Was she changing her mind? The thought terrified her. Everything had been so wonderful last night down at the lake, and through the night in his bed. Donovan had not only given her more pleasure than she’d ever dreamed possible, he’d been gentle and caring and loving.
It was all so new. So overwhelming. She didn’t know what to make of it.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” she said, trying to hide the depth of her unbidden fears. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“Brought what up, exactly?”
A flurry of panic coursed through her. He was staring at her intently. Watching her. Wanting to know what she was getting at.
Oh God, was she scaring him off?
She was scaring herself.
“The fact that you hired me,” she replied, skirting the real question, for him as well as for herself. She needed time to sort out her feelings. “Some people don’t trust a woman to do the job. Come on, let’s go get some breakfast.”
He tossed the sheet off and got out of bed, then fished through his suitcase for a pair of shorts. He pulled them on and followed her down the stairs.
“I hired you because I trusted you,” he said. “You have a competent air about you.”
Jocelyn entered the kitchen. “Thank you. Why don’t I cook breakfast this morning?”
“All right.” He sat down on one of the stools at the counter, while she pulled eggs and bacon out of the fridge and set to work. She laid the bacon slices in a skillet to fr
y.
“So tell me,” he said, “why did you leave the Secret Service?”
“To be honest, for the money.” She cracked some eggs into a bowl and began to beat them with a whisk.
“That’s surprising. I thought you hated that kind of thing.”
“I hate people attaching more value to their cars and boats than to their loved ones. I don’t hate money. In fact, I appreciate it very much when I can put it to good use. I’m sending my younger sister to Juliard.”
He perked up at that. “You never mentioned that before.”
“It never came up.”
“Do you have any other brothers or sisters?”
“No, just Marie. She’s eighteen and a very talented cello player. She moved in with my aunt after my mom died and no one could afford to send her to a good music school, so I went out on my own to try to cover the expense. Besides that, I like the independence of running my own business.”
“Are you musical, too?”
She smiled and poured the eggs into the frying pan she’d set on the stove. “I like to sing.”
“You are full of surprises. Sing something.”
“Not while I’m cooking! I need to concentrate.”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot. Cooking is one of the things you don’t do. But it looks to me like you’re doing it pretty well.”
She gave him a look over her shoulder. “I didn’t say I couldn’t do it. I just said I didn’t like to.”
He rose from the stool to come around the counter and approach her from behind. “Seems to me, you’re good at everything. This especially…”
He slid his hands around her waist and nibbled her neck, while she stirred the eggs on the stove. Goose bumps erupted and tickled all over her body.
“You’re distracting me. I’m going to burn the eggs.”
She felt his erection pressing against her bottom. Desire coursed through her. Incapable of resisting the heated power of it, she set down her spatula and turned around to kiss him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and reveled in the feel of his wet, open mouth and his tongue mingling with hers. How was it possible a man could press all her buttons with such unbelievable intensity?
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