by ID Johnson
“Absolutely.” Now, I felt really bad. “But… she won’t know until it’s over, so it’ll be fine.”
“She probably won’t ever let you go with your sister again, not until you Transform anyway.”
I shifted my eyes so I was studying the seat in front of me. “I know.”
He was quiet for a long moment, like he was trying to figure out what to say, but there really was nothing. Eventually, he said, “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Yeah.” But I had a feeling he was right. My mom would die if she knew what I had done, and she would find out, even if it was after I was safely back in Shenandoah. Cadence would absolutely tell her. I’d probably be locked in my room until my seventeenth birthday.
I turned to look at Brandon and noticed he was rubbing his stomach again. “Are you feeling okay?” I asked.
“I’m fine. Probably just the train pizza,” he said, forcing a smile.
“I think I have some Pepto in my bag.” Before he could respond, I was digging around in it and pulled out a few of the chewable tablets.
“Whatcha reading?” he asked, spying my book.
“Oh, just some silly… it’s nothing.” I didn’t feel like explaining to him I was reading a vampire romance novel. It seemed kinda dumb when I said it out loud. In my mind, it was for research, or at least, that’s what I told myself, but I actually secretly thought I was slightly jealous that my sister had such a hot boyfriend. Of course, there weren’t a lot of books about the girl falling in love with something other than a vampire, so that had to do.
Brandon chewed up the tablets and grabbed a bottle of water out of his own bag. “Thanks,” he said, and I hoped that helped, even though I had noticed him rubbing his stomach long before we ate the greasy pepperoni pizza. Maybe it was nerves.
“So… seen any good movies lately?” he asked, and we launched into another conversation that lasted a few hours, though we had to whisper as people around us began to turn off their overhead lights. We talked about going to a sleeping car, but that seemed a little weird considering the company, and I figured if I got any sleep at all, it would be like the old lady across the aisle from us who was completely zonked out, her head swaying back and forth with the train as she snored like the whistle that blew every time we approached a town.
Brandon kept me entertained for quite some time, but eventually, I began to yawn, and before long, I had my head resting on his shoulder. I was too tired to ask if he cared or to be self-conscious about it as my heavy eyes would no longer stay open, despite the fact that I thought this might be the last sleep I got before my sister killed me.
Chapter 17
My eyes flew open in a sudden realization of where I was, what I was doing, and whose shoulder I was asleep on. I hoped I hadn’t startled him, but as I checked the corner of my mouth for drool, I realized that Brandon was smiling at me, and my hand automatically went to my hair in an attempt to straighten it as he stared.
“Hey there, sunshine,” he smiled. “How was your nap?”
I leaned away from him, stretching as I did so in hopes that I wouldn’t look as embarrassed as I felt. I briefly remembered having thought of the fact that my head was on his shoulder as I’d slipped into oblivion, but I was more conscious of that fact now for certain. “Fine. I guess. What time is it?” I tried to keep my voice down as it looked like a few other people around us had also opted not to find sleeping cars.
Brandon glanced at his watch before saying, “It’s about 3:30.”
“In the morning?” I asked, shocked that I’d been asleep that long.
“No, no. In the afternoon. The sun is just temporarily out of order, that’s all.”
“All right, smart aleck,” I said, poking him in the arm. He had a point. If it wasn’t 3:30 AM, the sun would definitely be up. “I just can’t believe I was asleep that long.”
“About four hours,” he nodded.
Suddenly, I realized what was in his hands. “Are you reading my book?” Before he could even answer, I realized, if he could get that book without waking me, he could get to other things, too. I checked my pockets. Both phones were still there, but that didn’t mean anything. “You didn’t call my sister, did you?”
“No,” he assured me, and he looked sincere.
I eyed him suspiciously. “Or Aaron?”
“No.”
“Or anyone else?”
“No, I didn’t call anyone,” Brandon replied. “I told you I wouldn’t, and I didn’t. Though I think we should.”
I stared at him wide-eyed for a long moment before proclaiming, “No way. Not until we get there.”
“Well, that is in about another four hundred hours, so….”
“It’s not that much longer.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. He was right, though. This was a super long train ride. We wouldn’t even get into Philly until tomorrow afternoon because of all the stops and whatnot.
“It’s a long time. Remind me again why we didn’t just fly.”
“Because my sister’s got eyes all over the airport. I didn’t want to risk it,” I explained.
“Right….” Brandon replied, shaking his head. “Well, next time, I say we throw on some Groucho Marx moustaches and hazard it.”
“You’re impossible,” I mumbled, and then I realized I was going to have to go to the restroom. “And I really have to pee.”
“Go pee!” he implored. “You haven’t gone since you got on this train, and that was a century ago.”
“I don’t go to the bathroom on moving vehicles!” I whispered sharply. “No peeing on buses, or trains, or boats….”
“Or planes. I do not pee in moving cars. I do not pee though near or far,” Brandon rhymed, chuckling at himself.
“You are a regular Dr. Seuss,” I said, though I was trying not to giggle. He was cuter than I was willing to admit.
“I do not pee. I don’t, I don’t. I will not pee, I won’t, I won’t.”
“Okay, stop saying pee!” I begged, pulling on his arm.
He looked down at my hand on his arm, and I slowly withdrew it, looking up into his eyes to see what looked like disappointment. “Fine. You sit there until your bladder bursts, and I’ll return to my exploration of Valery’s undying love for Rodrigo.” He held up the book so I could see how much of it he had read.
“You’re reading my vampire romance?” Obviously, I knew this already, but I still couldn’t believe he actually had it in his hands. I was more than a little embarrassed.
“Well, yeah,” Brandon said, pulling it away from me. “Fangs of Love by Amber Rose. It’s really quite interesting. I’m doing research.” He said it in an overly romanticized voice and I could feel my face turning red.
“Just give it here,” I whispered, reaching for it again. He held it just out of my reach.
“No, no, no. It’s just starting to get interesting. Rodrigo realizes that he loves Valery, but she can’t be with him because she wants to rip his heart out and eat it.”
“That’s not true.” I rolled my eyes at him in disgust. Valery didn’t want to eat Rodrigo’s heart. Did she?
“Oh, yeah? How do you know? What chapter are you on?”
I folded my arms and thought about it for a moment, trying to remember. With all of this stuff going on with Giovani, it had been a few days since I’d had time to read. “Chapter seven,” I admitted.
“Well, I am on chapter…” he flipped through the pages, “ten. So, you wouldn’t know.”
“God, you’re ridiculous,” I said giggling again at his silly expression.
“Thank you.” He looked down his nose, like he meant it. “Now, if you’ll excuse me….” He turned away from me and centered his eyes on the book, which had to be hard to do in the dim light.
“Fine. If you’d rather read that book than talk to me….” I countered.
Almost instantly, he put the book down and turned to face me. “What would you like to talk about?”
I shrugged, trying to think
of topics we hadn’t discussed yet. “I don’t know. What’s life like in Pryor, Oklahoma?”
“Boring,” he admitted quickly. “How about Shenandoah, Iowa?”
I considered the question. “Well, it was pretty boring.” But that hadn’t been the case recently. “Until last year when everything started to get so weird.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” He was nodding, like he could only imagine. I had no idea what he knew and what he didn’t know.
I cleared my throat and continued, seeing as though I had his attention. “I mean, when I found out Drew was dead, it was so bizarre. And then my sister started hanging out with all these new people. She dropped out of college. And your dad tried to convince me that I’d known him for years—he convinced everyone else.” I remembered how all of Cadence’s friends had thought Elliott was someone they’d known forever. It was part of his brainwashing tactics. “But it didn’t quite work on me.” I thought maybe I needed to clarify, but he was nodding, so I pressed on. “By the time Jack died, I knew something was up. I thought Cadence was a Vampire. Thank goodness I found out the truth.” I remembered how much time I’d spent thinking Cadence might’ve actually killed her friends.
“How did you do that?” he asked, seeming to hang on my every word.
I wondered why we hadn’t discussed this earlier in the day, but it had never come up. “I got a lot of clues from eavesdropping, honestly,” I admitted. “Your dad knew how badly it was driving me crazy, and while he wouldn’t admit it, he didn’t deny anything I asked him about either.”
Brandon nodded his head. “So, you were pretty close to him, then?”
“Oh, yeah,” I said quietly. I thought he knew that, but honestly, I hadn’t elaborated too much. “He was like the big brother I never had. He was such an awesome guy.”
He didn’t say anything, only nodded slowly, his eyes focused on the back of the seat in front of him.
I continued, wondering if it would help him to hear more about his dad or if he wished I’d just stop talking. I figured he’d let me know if he wanted me to stop. “A few weeks before he… before Sierraville, I was having trouble with this guy at school. He was such a ….”
Brandon offered a word I wouldn’t have said myself, so even though I giggled, I completed my sentence myself. “I was going to say dirt bag, but okay. We can use your word. Anyway, he kept asking me for help with his homework. He’d pretend like he liked me, you know? Flirt with me and stuff. And we’d hang out in groups, and he’d pay extra attention to me. So, right after I helped him study for this big test, he asked Lucy to the homecoming dance.”
“Lucy? Your friend? Wow.”
“I know, right?” For some reason, going back over everything with Liam was therapeutic, so I just kept right on talking. “Of course Lucy said no. And then he tried to explain to me that he was just trying to be nice, but Lucy didn’t need his sympathy. She’s got a ton of guys asking her out all the time. So… I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should give him another chance or just walk away.”
It was quiet for a moment, like he was waiting to see if I’d continue on my own before Brandon asked, “What did you do?”
“I tried calling Cadence, but she was super busy. I talked to my mom, and she said something I didn’t even understand, something about there being plenty of fish in the ocean but only some of them are silver tunas.”
“Whatever that means….”
“Right?” I hoped someday he’d get to meet my mom so he could see for himself how wonderfully odd she is. “Anyway, I called your dad, and he seemed busy so I couldn’t say much. So, he hung up. But then, about two hours later, he showed up. At my house. Just like that—because he knew I needed him.”
“Wow,” Brandon said. “That’s pretty cool.”
“Yeah, it was. So, anyway, I ended up pouring my heart out to Elliott. I cried on his shoulder, and he just listened. And when I was done, he said, ‘Do you want some advice?’ Well, of course I did, and he said, ‘Scrape him off, Cass. You don’t need him. Anyone who would treat you with that amount of disrespect isn’t worth your time.’” I wasn’t exactly sure that was a direct quote, but that was the sentiment I’d gotten. Elliott had been so helpful in moving me on past Liam. I was staring at my hands, and Brandon’s voice cut through my thoughts.
“And?”
“And I did what he said. I told Liam—that’s his name—that I didn’t want to go out with him.” I didn’t bother to mention the laughing in his face part, since that seemed sort of cruel, now that I thought about it. I continued, “I wasn’t looking for someone who only thought about himself. I want someone that, as your dad put it, ‘would be willing to take a silver bullet to the lungs for me.’”
“Okay—that seems a little specific,” Brandon muttered before adding, “but it sounds like my dad gave you pretty good advice.”
“Yeah, he usually did,” I agreed. I didn’t bother to explain the silver bullet reference right then. Thinking of Elliott giving good advice reminded me of all the other things Brandon had missed out on. I relayed some of my favorite memories. “He was hilarious, too. And he wasn’t afraid to be silly—to wear a Santa hat or sing Lionel Richie songs while driving my mom’s minivan. He was an incredible person.”
I noticed Brandon was rubbing his eyes and squinted at him. “I think I have some dust in my eyes.”
I thought he was just joking around, like I thought he should be sad, so I giggled. “It’s okay to be sad that you never got to meet him.”
“No, I’m fine. Just my horrible dust allergies,” he said, but I could tell he honestly did have tears in his eyes. I hoped he didn’t mind me telling the story since it had brought up that kind of emotion for him.
I thought about how my sister seemed to think Brandon was so much like Elliott, but I didn’t see it quite that way. “You are a lot like your dad, but you’re a lot different, too. And I’m glad you are your own person.” I put my hand on his arm so he’d turn back to face me, which he did.
Brandon was staring at my lips. He was so close to me, only about an inch or two away. I’d never been kissed before, and it made me super nervous to think he might kiss me right there on the Amtrak train, so I took my hand off of his arm and scooted back, just a bit, hoping not to hurt his feelings. I didn’t know what to make of him yet, though I thought he was an amazing guy.
“Right,” Brandon mumbled. He seemed either irritated or embarrassed, thinking I must’ve been uncomfortable to have him so close, looking at me like that. “Uh, thanks. I wish I would have known him, too. He seems like a super guy.”
“He was,” I agreed, looking away. Then, I said something I probably shouldn’t have. “Makes me wonder what happened between him and your mom.”
“Yeah, I don’t know,” Brandon admitted, “and I don’t think I want to talk to her about it either. My mom is … complicated.”
I turned to look at him, seeing that he was resolute on the avoidance of his mother, and I was willing to respect that. Forcing a smile, I reminded him, “Well, you’ve got a whole new life now, so the past is the past.”
“Exactly,” he agreed, nodding. “Time for new beginnings.”
We sat in silence for a long moment. I tried not to think about the bathroom, wondering if I could get my book back, and Brandon stared at the seat in front of us. Eventually, he broke the silence. “Liam? Sounds like a British boy band reject name.” Then he began repeating it in various British accents. “Liam. Liam. Liam. Liam….”
“Stop it,” I begged, giggling. It was really funny, but I felt sorry for Liam. It wasn’t his fault he was a little manchild. “He isn’t a bad guy. He’s just not very mature.”
“Lucky you, you’re with a man now,” Brandon said in his deepest voice while striking a pose that reminded me of the lumberjack from the Brawny paper towels.
I laughed even louder. Some of the sleepers around us actually shushed me. I leaned over and whispered sharply, “Don’t make me laugh, I have t
o pee!”
“This conversation is circular,” Brandon whispered back. “Go to the bathroom! I’ll go with you. I’ll stand right outside.”
“No! I shall not pee until Philly!” I said, realizing my rhyme was even lamer than his.
“Suit yourself. But I’m going to sit here and read my book and talk about waterfalls. And oceans. And spraying fountains….” He opened my book back up and flipped to where he’d left off.
“Stop!”
“And puddles. And lakes. And roaring rivers…”
“Seriously, Brandon.”
“There’s no way you can hold it for another decade!”
I was resolved to proof him wrong. And I did, for about another hour, while he read my book, and I stared at nothing, thinking about not having to go to the bathroom. “Okay,” I finally whispered. “I’ll go—but only once. So don’t let me drink anything else.”
“Fine,” he said, putting my book down. “I’ll go with you.”
Quietly, we tiptoed through the aisle. I had to go so bad, I thought my bladder was going to burst and I was going to die right there on the train. I knew I didn’t want him actually listening to me pee, either so I made him stand far back away from the door. I did my best to make sure there was nothing else in the tank so that I could hold it the rest of the way, but I figured that would be a challenge as well.
When I came out, he was standing there with a smirk on his face that made me wonder if he’d actually heard. “Did you wash your hands?” he asked.
They were still a little damp, so I couldn’t help but wipe them on his shirt. “Nope,” I said, a twinkle in my eyes. He pretended to be disgusted and we both started laughing, which managed to get us more shushes from people I couldn’t even see.
Brandon walked me back to our seat before he went off to use the restroom himself and find a snack. I leaned over against the window and rested my head there, looking out at blackness and wondering when the sun would be up. It shouldn’t be too long now. By the time he got back, I had mostly dozed off again, and when he slipped his arm around my shoulders, I didn’t protest resting my head on him again. He smelled a lot like his dad, and I felt warm and safe, despite the fact that this train was likely barreling toward my own self-inflicted destruction. At least I wasn’t headed there all alone.
