"Why...why are you crying?" I asked.
"I lost something that was precious to me. I should have told her how much I loved her. I should have shown her my affection for her. Yet, I was scared of being judged and hated. It wasn't until I lost her that I realized what I fool I was. Thanks to my fear of judgment, I lost the woman I love, but...now she's happy with someone else. That's all I need to know. If she's safe and happy, my heart can heal," she explained.
"You loved...a woman?" I asked in confusion. The woman nodded.
"Yes. She was beautiful, just like you," she replied. She wiped the final tears that rolled down my cheeks and stepped back.
"Goodbye, Midnight. Be safe for me."
My eyes widened at her words, and though I wanted to stop her from leaving, my body wouldn't move. "Wait! Your name? Can I at least know your name?" I begged.
She looked over her shoulder, a tear rolling down her cheek. "EliaseAnne Kingsley. Farwell, Midnight."
I watched her walk away into the crowd until she was gone. I clung to the unicorn in my arms, and for the first time since coming here, my heart felt numb.
~MAKO~
"Mako? I know something is wrong, you've been in there for thirty minutes."
I ignored Nikolai's worried voice, my eyes staring at the bracelet on my left wrist. I pulled my legs up and curled in a ball, the warm water of the bubble bath the only warmth I felt.
My spirits were all depressed, just like how I was right now. We'd watched everything that happened between Midnight and the beautiful green-eyed woman known as EliaseAnne.
Midnight may not have understood what EliaseAnne had referred to, but I did. To be honest, I didn't need to hear her words. Her eyes held the truth.
The way she looked at Midnight wasn't of a long time friend or even foe. It was the look of a lover who realized they lost the person they cherished the most. Instead of revealing everything, she accepted defeat and walked away.
That was what left my heart numb and my body so cold, I couldn't stop trembling. I pressed my forehead against my knees and muffled the sobs that escaped me.
It hurt. It pained me to watch her walk away. Yet I couldn't wrap my head around it. Did we date a man and a woman? Brother and Sister? Were they the same person?
The thought baffled me, and even after I sat here for thirty minutes, I still couldn't understand it. Or maybe I was struggling to accept that I dated a woman?
"Mew..." Nighty sat on the lid of the toilet seat, her sad mismatched eyes staring at me with worry.
"I don't know what to do Nighty," I confessed quietly as I began to whimper. She hopped off the toilet and began to claw the door, clearly trying to get Nikolai's attention.
"Mako, I'm opening the door." It was Blaze's voice that rang from the other side. I didn't care if he opened the door. I needed him, but I felt like I had no energy to get out of the bath.
"Okay," I whispered.
Nighty moved back from the door, and I heard the lock turn, knowing Blaze must have used some type of spell to unlock the door. I turned my head to see him open the door, slipping inside and gently closing it shut.
He took one look at me and frowned. "Mako. What happened?" Blaze asked.
"I'm cold," I whispered, trying my best to divert the conversation. If we talked about what had just happened, I felt like I'd just get colder and colder.
My heart already felt numb. What happened if I acknowledged everything that happened? Would I regain all my memories? Would I be able to handle it?
Blaze stared into my eyes and slowly nodded. I watched him pull off his white shirt and then his shorts. Even his perfectly sculpted body wasn't able to lift my mood, but I was unsure why he was taking his clothes off.
"Slide down a bit," he encouraged. I did just that, moving forward to give him space. He slowly entered the bath and sunk into the bubbled water. Nighty hopped onto the toilet and then the sink, avoiding the excess water that spilled over the edge due to two of us sharing the bath. I moved back, and Blaze wrapped his arms around my waist.
I thought I'd be more embarrassed with being completely naked against him in the bath, but I was so happy to be in his arms, helping ease away the cold feeling that had been nagging at me the entire time.
The water suddenly felt hot, but it wasn't a high enough temperature to burn me. It was actually perfect, and my tense muscles began to loosen up as I sighed in relief.
"Better?" Blaze whispered.
"Yes. Much better. Thank you," I replied.
We were in the tub for a long time, and Nighty ended up hopping onto the edge and curling her little body in a ball, eventually falling asleep.
"Midnight met someone."
"Did she know them?" Blaze asked.
"No...and yes? It felt like in our heart we knew the person, but nothing came to mind. She had the same green eyes as the Elias person, and when she introduced herself, her name was EliaseAnne," I admitted.
"Was it his spirit?"
"He can't have a female spirit, can he? That's not possible...right? I mean how can his spirit have a form of her own? I mean. We all have our spirit forms, like how Rose can shift with demon qualities, and Hope can do the same and give me wings. Lexi shifts to a full out dragon and Lily can change into a phoenix. Midnight can be a dark fairy, but regardless, they use my body for the shift. Is it really possible for a male to turn to a female?" I thought about it out loud.
"It's a difficult idea. The only reason why I brought it up, is because Ann and Nick searched the name. Elias Kingsley is the future heir of Miolana."
I blinked and turned my body that rested against his chest to look at him. "He's a future King of a realm?!" I asked in astonishment. Blaze nodded.
"We couldn't find much. Only found out he was the only son of Garrett Kingsley, and that Elias’ spirit was originally Elyion. The document said the King had been rumored to participate in experimentation of his people, in exchange for money and rank. When the people realized what was going on, they fled in hiding which left his son as lab rat. I think they experimented on him and it failed. It didn't go into anything else, but the end of the document said Elyion was changed to EliaseAnne."
"The experiment went wrong, and his spirit was changed to a female...that's..." I trailed off.
"Horrible. Diabolical. Against the Starlight Laws. I'm surprised the King is allowed to rule right now with such a crime on his head. Ann wanted to search more, but there were no other files on him. When we tried to search in the news of other realms, Ann couldn't gain access," Blaze explained.
"Do you think...maybe just a hunch, but maybe Elias was my boyfriend and EliaseAnne was Midnight’s...girlfriend?"
"Maybe. Is that why you were hiding?" he asked.
"I wasn't hiding...I was tired," I mumbled.
"Uh-huh." Blaze lifted his hand from the and slid it through my wet locks. "You’re gonna become a prune."
"You'd still love me regardless though," I commented.
"Yes," Blaze replied without hesitation.
"If...if I really dated a girl, would that be a deal breaker for you?" I whispered.
"No. I don't care about gender. It never was a big deal to me. In Wintalyn, we don't have time to focus on those things. Many of us are just grateful to be alive."
He looked up at the white ceiling of the bathroom and smiled. "The one thing that can kill both shifter and human is loneliness. If you love a female and you're the same gender, why should you hinder yourself from loving them? Because you're both girls? What if the whole world was all one gender? Would we stop ourselves from loving one another? Some realms like to make it so complicated as if two men can’t father children or two women can't conceive a child, but that's more of a human mentality. As shifters, no matter if we date the same gender or the opposite, we pray to the Starlight gods for children."
"So, we can't get pregnant?" I asked.
"We, as in you and me?" Blaze grinned and I blushed.
"I mean....urgh!" I splashed h
im with water, and he chuckled.
"We have to ask the Starlight gods. You pray to have a child, and if the gods think you're ready, they allow your body to be able to get pregnant. Why do you think you female shifters don't have periods?" Blaze pointed out.
"What's that?" I asked, my mind completely blank. Ann didn't teach me about that. What's that? Isn't that a dot used at the ends of sentences?
Blaze snickered, and I lifted my gaze to glare at him. "I totally didn't hear your outspoken thoughts. Don't worry about it." He grinned.
He sat up just slightly and looked into my eyes. "Do you feel calm now?"
"Ya. Sorry about that."
"Don't need to. Isa will see us after tomorrow’s job. We'll have a discussion and maybe she can increase your dose, so you can regain your memories faster. At least it will be during our little vacation, and if we need to find this Elias person, we'll just have to travel to where he is. Whether it's Miolana or wherever else in the galaxy."
"We'll go find him or her...or well, them?!" I asked in astonishment.
"Sure. Nikolai said we'd go. His mind is kinda made up. Let's explore the galaxy and make our beloved Butterfly happy. He's trying to be more romantic." Blaze hummed and gave me a wink. I giggled and reached out to hug him.
"Thanks for the steamy bath, Blaze." I purred into his ear before I kissed him gently on the nape of his neck.
I could hear the low vibration in his throat, which made me smile against his flesh. I pulled back to meet his eyes that were already switching colors from red to gold, orange to black.
"It's hard to avoid a very steamy situation when you’re naked and in the bath with me, Butterfly," he whispered. I smiled innocently and rose up on purpose.
His darkened eyes ran down my body, and I grinned in satisfaction. "Pray to the Starlight gods we get more alone time in the near future Blaze." I scooped Nighty up and got out of the bath first.
I placed Nighty on the toilet lid and reached for my towel to wrap myself with. Glancing back at Blaze whose eyes were clearly on my butt, I covered myself.
"I'm rather patient, Butterfly," Blaze said quietly.
"Patient in some situations, impatient in others." I hummed and took his towel off the hook.
He rose up out of the bath, pulling out the plug to let the water drain before he got out. I walked back and passed him his towel, and he thanked me with a blazing kiss on the lips which left me a bit surprised.
"I'll wait as long as I need to Mako. I don't have a counterpart yet," Blaze pointed out.
"I have four other spirits."
"None of them match me, and I feel like they're taken."
"They aren't."
"Maybe. Or you have four other boyfriends."
"I....hmmm. That sounds complicated," I mumbled.
He chuckled. "At least you have a sleeping companion every day of the week."
"There are seven days."
"If Elias and EliaseAnne are separate, then that's technically six."
"A different lover for every day of the week. That sounds tiring," I muttered.
"I'm very curious how sleeping is tiring?" Blaze teased with a wide grin, clearly understanding where my mind was. I groaned, and turned around, picking Nighty up and heading out of the washroom.
Blaze obviously caught up and slipped his arms around my waist to stop me. He rested his head on my shoulder.
"One boyfriend, seven partners. Doesn't matter. Let your mind be open to what the Starlight gods are planning and allow your instincts guide you."
I smiled and nodded in agreement. Please guide me so I can confront my past, help me to face the present, and protect me as I journey towards my future.
~ELIASEANNE~
I walked through the forest, my eyes staring at my feet as I aimlessly made my way forward. I didn't care where I was going, as long as it was far away from the laughter, cheering, and loud fireworks that continued to echo from behind me.
My mind was too distraught to think, and I just wanted to go to bed. Maybe if I went to sleep and woke up, everything would have been a dream and not the crushing reality I was currently living.
"Elyion? What's wrong? Where are you?"
I ignored Kai's voice for what seemed to be the fifth time he'd tried to talk to me through the bond. I wondered if he was here with the others, seeing as the plan was to meet in Wintalyn.
There was no point to the mission now, though. Elias had already found Mako, and I already met Midnight. Too bad neither of them remembered us.
My vision became blurry, and I almost laughed at how pathetic I felt. If I had made a stronger impression on Mako and Midnight, would they have still forgotten about me?
"Elyion."
I blinked away my tears and continued to walk, realizing I was losing it. First, I heard Kai tormenting me through our bond and now, in my depressed state.
Yup, I'm going crazy. Maybe I should have stayed in the psychiatric ward rather than assume I would find Mako and we'd return to Heila like nothing ever happened.
"Jeez, Elyion. Stop ignoring me," Kai huffed. I bumped into someone and it took me to a few seconds to realize Kai was standing before me. He looked irritated, but the moment I lifted my head to meet his amber eyes. They widened, and worry replaced his aggravation.
"Shit, Elyion. What's wrong?" Kai asked, clearly taken aback by my tears. I lowered my head and lifted my hand to my bracelet.
"I found Mako," I whispered.
"What? You found her! Where is she then?" Kai asked.
"At the festival," I replied.
"Why did you leave her at the festival?" Kai asked.
I could feel his confusion through our bond, but I knew the others must have been asleep if they weren't reacting to the shift of emotion.
He put his hands on my shoulder and shook me slightly. "Earth to Elyion? Why isn't Mako with you? Why the hell are you on the verge of tears? Is she hurt?"
"No. She looked healthy," I replied with my head still down as I lowered my left hand.
"Then?! Why did you leave her at the festival? The others are asleep, but we could have just woken them up and we'd be heading home," Kai pointed out.
"She..." I trailed off and bit my lip as I pulled away from Kai's grip. I didn't want to say it. Saying it meant it was real, and I felt there was no way I could fix it.
I began to walk away, and I could feel Kai's frustration. "Elyion! Why isn't Mako here?!"
"She doesn't remember!" I snapped.
My hands trembled as I turned to face Kai with a glare. He looked confused and shocked by my outrage that leaked into our bond in waves. I knew I might wake the others, especially Ryder who hadn't been feeling well the last couple of weeks.
The closer they got to Wintalyn, the sicker Ryder seemed to get. I didn't want to disturb him, but I couldn't keep my agony in check any longer.
"What?" Kai asked, his tone softer.
"She doesn't remember who I am! She doesn't remember Elias. Midnight didn't remember me! Jeffrey wiped her memories, Kai! She doesn't remember who she is. Who she REALLY is. It's like we're starting all over again!" I cried out.
"Elyion...you don't know that. Maybe it's temporary. We can figure it out," Kai suggested but I shook my head.
"Figure out what?! We're not figuring anything out. She doesn't remember us, or her being a Princess or anything! We're leaving."
I turned to walk away, wanting to get on the ship and get out of here.
"Fuck, Elyion. You're acting stupid!" Kai snapped. I heard his quick footsteps and he tugged at my arm, stopping me from walking any further.
"There's more to that! You wouldn't just leave her there. Even if she can't remember us, we'll think of something!"
"No," I said with an icy tone.
"Elyion we're not going without Mako!"
"She doesn't remember us."
"And so what?! You're sounding like a broken record here, so fucking what?!" Kai argued. I pulled my hand out of his hold and turned around to walk
away.
He didn't see what I saw. If he did, he'd be going back too.
"Fine, I'll go myself." Kai declared. Fucking...
"Leave her be, Kai," I snapped, stopping in my tracks.
I didn't turn around to face him again, because I knew I wouldn't be able to compose myself for much longer.
"WHY Elyion? Why should we just walk away after traveling NINE realms to find her?!"
"SHE'S HAPPY, KAI!" I screamed, turning around to face him. His anger seemed to evaporate as he watched the tears roll down my cheeks.
"She's fucking happy! I watched her the entire time, and I haven't seen her so happy since Knightwood when she was free for the first time. The people love her. The children sing and dance around her! She even has a boyfriend, Kai!" I exclaimed.
Kai was silent, looking completely shocked by the news. "What...?"
"They held hands and laughed. He won her a damn fucking unicorn and...they kissed. All the people watching them all said the same thing. What a wonderful couple they are. Look how happy they are? They should get married and have beautiful children. I'm so glad she came into his life," I repeated as the tears fell.
"Maybe...maybe it's just a front?" Kai suggested.
I laughed. "What I saw with my eyes, WASN'T a front, Kai. We’ve known Mako long enough to know when she loves, it’s wholeheartedly, and what I saw was love, and the guy? He loved her back. I could see it in his eyes just how much he appreciated her. The passion and the way he made sure she got whatever she wanted. Even though it was a festival, he had this protective nature about him and just standing next to her, everyone knew he'd never let anyone hurt her."
I ran my hands through my hair as I began to sob. "Why couldn't we have done that, Kai? Why do we keep fucking up? We call ourselves knights, but we weren't able to protect her. Now she doesn't remember any of us, but she's the happiest she’s ever been."
I lifted my eyes to meet his that began to grow glossy. He was finally understanding where I was coming from, yet I needed to say it. I needed to accept this reality.
"If we love her, how can we go in there and destroy the new life she's living. How can I tell her who she is now that she's able to smile again? She's with someone who cherishes her, people who adore her, in a place that if they had to, would protect her. I don't have the fucking guts to rip that all away from her. I didn't have the guts to tell her just how much I loved her. There's no way I'll go there and destroy her new home."
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