She nipped at his tongue. ‘Then, don’t. But, just for the record, I have no plans of losing you either. How’s your back?’
He drew back and smoothed a hand down her face. “I love you, Valera. It’s fine. I mostly healed it before I shifted again. I’ll do some more later.”
She smiled then turned her attention to the people who approached them. A bit cautiously. Perun was beside a younger looking man with dark hair and eyes.
“Thank you,” the man said, stopping before them with tears in his eyes. “Thank you for bringing me my vaj.”
Lera took his hand in hers. “He found you. And would have found you even if our paths hadn’t crossed.”
His head dropped slightly before he looked her in the eyes again. “It is an honor to meet you, Valera Grace Sidorov of the Haikon. We’d begun to lose hope that you were naught but a rumor. Can’t tell you how pleased we are to know you’re real.” He smiled. “I am Judoc.” His entire face lit up. “And you’ve met my vaj, Perun.”
She dropped her attention to the snow leopard that stood at his side. ‘I’m thrilled for you, Perun.’
He stepped forward and nuzzled along her leg. ‘Thank you, vaj. Thank you. I look forward to meeting your vaj.’
‘I can’t wait.’ She touched Kori and said, “This is my mate, Cormac.”
“An honor.” Judoc stared at Kori as he spoke.
The men shook hands.
“Come. I know our clan would love the chance to get to know you, Valera.”
“Of course. We can talk but let’s make sure all the injured are healed first.”
Judoc nodded in understanding. All together, they moved toward the rest of the survivors. This time, the assessing gazes didn’t bother her. She met them all with a confident one. After all, what did she have to fear? Kori was with her, and she could shift again, proof that Adric was growing near.
They worked quickly to set up camp and dispose of the dead. When food was cooking over the fire, Lera stood beside Kori, Judoc, and Trehean, the leader of this clan.
She felt this whisper of trouble flicker along her skin. Releasing Kori, she glanced over her shoulder back up the hill to the ridge. In the final rays of daylight, she saw her bag.
The cubs.
Spinning around, she sprinted off across the ground.
‘Lera?’
‘The cubs, Kori. I just left them there.’
The air made her shudder with concern. Something else lingered but she couldn’t see it. She felt Kori behind her but she didn’t slow. It had totally escaped her about them. Lying there, unprotected. What if his wards had failed while he’d been rendered unconscious?
She skated on her knees to the bag and gathered it close, opening it and releasing a sigh of relief when their breathing was detected. Tugging off her glove, she reached in and touched them all. Over this journey, they’d come to mean so much to her, and her heart melted when three sets of eyes looked at her.
“Are they okay?” Kori asked.
“Seem to be,” she replied, pushing up and keeping the bag before her. “They’re so cute.”
“They love you,” he said.
“I love them, too.”
The gentleness in Kori’s gaze gave way to fear and hatred. She spun and gasped. Before her stood something she had never seen before. Tall, grotesque and dripping with what she could only make a guess at what it was. Numerous limbs, large and gnarled with massive hands. Four eyes stared at her, and all she could see was soullessness.
Kori’s hand landed on her shoulder, and she knew he was going to yank her away. She didn’t fight him, only moved the bag so the cubs would be out of the way. But it was too late. One arm moved like lightning, and she felt a twinge in her belly. She got jerked back and bumbled a bit to stay on her feet.
Glancing down, she checked the bag and saw it was undamaged. Eyes back to Kori, she noticed him knocking the creature away before looking back at her.
His mouth moved but she couldn’t hear him. Odd. He wasn’t that far away. The world shifted, and she stumbled again. This time, however, she wasn’t able to remain on her feet and collapsed to her knees.
“Kori?”
She struggled to hold the bag to him, wanting him to keep the babies warm. He was before her but she still couldn’t hear anything beyond the pounding of her own heartbeat. Kori began to fade, and she had no energy to hold back the dark blanket coming to cover her like a shroud. Then, blessedly, there was warmth holding her.
She woke a few times, briefly. Each time, she could see Kori beside her. Once, she thought she picked up seeing Vilfi as well but she was too weak to stay awake for long. When she woke and felt like staying awake, she glanced around through lowered lashes, they were in a tent. She lay on a bed of furs. The crackling of the fire could be heard. Her gaze landed on a sleeping Kori. His face tight with tension and worry.
‘I’m glad you’re awake, vaj. I was worried.’
Adric’s voice filled her head.
‘Adric?’
‘I’m here, vaj.’
‘What…what happened?’
He stepped into her line of sight, and she blinked back tears of joy seeing his jet black coat. His massive head lowered, and he nudged the slumbering form of the man who owned her heart. Those gray eyes focused directly on her, and he moved close. Kori’s hand trembled when he reached it out to her.
“Lera,” he whispered, his fingers trailed down the side of her face. “I thought I lost you, mo anam.”
“What happened?” And why did she feel so damn wiped?
He shook his head. “We’ll talk later; you rest.”
“The babies?” His expression grew pained. “Kori? What happened to the cubs?”
“They’re fine. Another man has a female snow leopard that just had a litter so she took them in. I’ll bring them to you later.”
Rest. Sounded divine. She knew he was worried but she didn’t have the energy to think about it right now. So, she smiled at him and closed her eyes, breathing even easier when Adric lay along her side, allowing her fingers to burrow into his fur.
Kori sat beside a still slumbering Lera. In his lap, he held the three cubs, knowing she’d want to see them when she woke next. He couldn’t get the image of her going to the ground with blood seeping from her belly out of his head. Nothing had mattered but getting to her. And now, nothing mattered other than seeing her open those gorgeous eyes again.
Adric lay beside her, pressed up close, appearing to sleep but Kori knew he, too, was alert. It had been a week since she’d gotten hurt. Vifil and the rest of that clan had joined back up with them. They also had found five other smaller bands, so the camp now was widespread, and everyone pulled for Lera.
She stirred, and he held his breath. Her fingers moved, seeking Adric. Then, her eyes opened, and Kori found himself held captive by her gaze.
“Hi,” she whispered.
“Mo anam,” he replied.
Her gaze honed in on the small wriggling objects in his hand. Without making her ask, he brought them closer to her. All three of them crowded as near as they could to her and, with a collective sigh, fell asleep against her.
“Tell me what happened, Kori,” she said, lifting her gaze to his.
He sat beside her on the furs and placed her head on his lap. Trailing one hand down the side of her face, he took a moment and just took in her beauty. Her skin had regained most of its color, her hair shone with health. There was some lingering strain at the corner of her eyes but he’d never been so grateful.
“You almost died.”
“I feel different. What was that thing?”
She stared up at him with so much love and trust, he didn’t know how to feel except honored. “That was a top guard for the ater malum. Hard to find, harder to kill.”
“Why was he here?”
“To kill you and as many of the Haikon as he could.”
“Did you kill him?”
“Not really. Judoc and his clan did. After
you fell, I stayed with you. More came, and eventually, so did Adric and Vifil’s clan, plus more. They did it. There’re over one hundred Haikon here.”
Her smile was like a sucker punch to his gut. “Then, it was worth it.”
Not to him, it wasn’t. But he didn’t tell her that.
Her brows furrowed, and she laid a hand on top of his. “Kori?”
He swallowed. There was no easy way to say this, and he didn’t relish telling her. “There is something else.”
“I can see it in your face. What happened?”
“You got stabbed in the belly.”
She nodded. “I know. It still hurts.” She tried for a smile. “Guess I’ll have another belly scar.”
“Mo anam, you lost the babies.”
Shock filled her face. Then disbelief. “Babies?” Her entire body began to shake. “Are…are you saying I was pregnant?” Large tears welled up and spilled over.
Words stuck in his throat. How did you tell the woman you loved, yes, she had been, and now, she no longer carried the result of your union? He could feel the sting of his own tears and blinked them away.
“Yes. Their healer said you were carrying twins.”
Her entire countenance fell. He could feel her pulling away, on every level. Gripping her chin, he forced an eye connection. Her gaze had filled with such self-loathing and pain he didn’t know what to do.
“It wasn’t your fault, Valera,” he stated in a firm but gentle tone. “None of this is your fault.”
She rolled away from him and buried her face into Adric’s pelt. It tore at Kori, and he didn’t know what to do. A noise indicating a guest outside the tent startled him. So in tune to Lera, he never heard anyone approach.
He rose and opened it, stepping out instead of allowing anyone to see Valera in this condition. Vilfi stood there, face somber.
“The clans are gathered. Is she fit to see them?”
“No.” He shook his head.
“I’m ready. I don’t know what they expect me to say, but I’m ready to let people see me.”
There was no emotion in her voice. Dipping his head back in to where she stood near the flap, he stared at her. She seemed like a shell of her former self.
‘You don’t have to do this now, Lera.’
‘This is why we came, Kori. Let’s do it and get it over with. I want to go home.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m not sure about anything anymore, but I know I can’t let anyone else down.’
He froze at her words. “We’ll be right there. I just need a moment alone with her,” he told Vilfi.
Understanding lit the man’s expression. “Take your time.”
Kori stepped back in, forcing Lera to move back or get run over. Once the flap had dropped, he grabbed her upper arms in his hands.
“Listen to me, Valera Grace, and listen well. You have not let anyone down. I don’t want to hear that crap from you again. Are we clear?”
He expected a snappish response. Something. Anything. All he got was her licking her lips prior stepping back from his touch before moving to lift up the bag with the cubs in it and going to the door.
“Let’s go, Kori.”
‘Lera,’ he said, imploring her to look at him.
She kept going, Adric falling in step beside her. Apparently, her wolf knew where to go for she never asked. At the largest tent, which actually consisted of four put together, she paused and glanced over her shoulder at Kori. He could read the need in her gaze and hurried to her side.
‘I’m with you all the way, Lera.’
Her gaze assessed him, as if she wasn’t sure what to believe anymore. He watched her compose herself and step through. Right behind her, he noticed how the interior fell silent. Somehow, everyone seemed to have packed in. A sea of faces stared back at them, plus their vaj.
He saw her share a glance with Torr, and he bit back his immediate growl of anger. Vilfi approached and placed a kiss on either side of her face. Turning to face the group, Vilfi began to talk. With a fluid motion, Kori positioned himself near Lera who had been given a pile of furs to sit on. He watched her instead of listening to Vilfi.
The cubs had been taken out of the bag and lay in her lap, her fingers lightly stroking down each of their backs. The motion repetitive and he knew soothing for them all. She didn’t keep her head down. Her gaze, carefully composed, swept the room from time to time. He knew how hard this was for her, and the fact she, again, refused to back down made him so proud.
She licked her lips, and he gave himself a mental shake before focusing on her, knowing she was about to talk.
“As you know, I’m Valera Sidorov. This is my mate, Cormac MacLochlainne. This,” she pointed to the solid black wolf beside her, “is my vaj, Adric.” She rolled her lower lip for a second and sighed. “I really wish I knew what to say. I know what the prophecy says, and I know people think I am the one to make the Haikon what they once were. Personally, I don’t believe so. We are a strong people. Broken because of betrayal. But now, here, we are gathered and united despite attempts to keep it from happening. I hold out hope there are even more of our kind left. It will take time but I have no doubt that the Haikon will be strong again.”
She looked at Kori and gave him a small smile before returning her attention to the sea of spellbound gazes. “I know I have the blood of old, as is apparent by my vaj. What the future holds is as much a mystery to me as it is to you. But look around at the people beside you. They are your brothers, your sisters, your family. If one is attacked, we are all attacked.”
“Will you lead us?” someone from the back cried.
“No. I’m no leader. I see the leaders before me who are needed. They are the ones who’ve been leading you, keeping you safe and our ways alive. Trust in them. Only now, know that you aren’t the only ones. There are other clans. Plus, I also offer the help of my father’s people, should it be needed.”
“And mine,” Kori added.
Lera nodded. “And that of my mate. I don’t know how far vaj can communicate but all you have to do is call or send message, and we will not hesitate to come to your aid.”
“You’re leaving?” a female asked.
“Yes. But I’m not giving up. I hope to find more Haikon where I go.”
“What about the prophecy?” someone else questioned.
She stiffened, and Kori gently touched the small of her back, grateful she relaxed slightly. “I would say it’s been fulfilled.” He could see the tears shimmering in her eyes. “I think the most important thing is that so many clans have been brought together. It is our unity which makes us strong. And the knowledge of what happened in the past makes us wiser and, therefore, harder to kill now. The Haikon are back and stronger than ever!” One fist rose furious in the air.
A resounding cheer echoed her statement. He leaned close and brushed a kiss along the outer shell of her ear. “You’re a born leader, Lera.”
“I should get the cubs back to their mom.”
She gathered them close and got slowly to her feet. He waited close, ready to help if she needed it but allowed her to try on her own. The interior was loud and full of rambunctious calls, cries, and laughter. He followed her out into the night. She, in turn, trailed after Adric who stopped at a tent across camp.
Kori announced their presence and got a soft response. They pushed in and lying on pile of furs was a largely pregnant woman. At her feet, on another mound, lay a snow leopard with a few suckling cubs.
“Forgive the intrusion but I thought they would like to eat,” Lera said, her voice catching.
“No problem.” Light blue eyes paced her. “I’m sorry I don’t get up.”
“No, no, please. There’s no need. I’ll just put them down, and we’ll leave.” Lera moved slowly to the mother and, with a kiss to each, put the babies down. They immediately rooted for a nipple and began to feed. She stood and backed up. “Thank you,” she spoke to both cat and human. Then, together, she and Kori w
alked out.
Silence lingered between them as they headed back to their tent. He frowned over the fact she kept Adric between them. Progress was slow for she got waylaid by numerous people wishing to talk. Eventually, they made it, and he sighed in relief when it was just the three of them.
“Lera,” he began.
“I’m really tired.”
He knew she was; he could hear it in her voice. Still, he circled her wrist with his fingers and drew her around to face him. He could see past the shields she had erected to the pain she tried to hide.
“I know you are, mo anam.”
She jerked away. “Don’t call me that.”
Her words hadn’t faded from the air when he had positioned himself all up in her space. It took a lot to keep his anger contained. “Listen to me, Valera. The loss of our children does not change how important you are to me. I know you’re hurting—so am I—but don’t push me away. You will always be mo anam. You are my soul. Anáil de mo anam, the breath of my soul, and you always will be.”
Big, fat tears pushed up and out from her eyes simultaneously as a raw, gut-wrenching sob tore from her throat. If not for his reflexes, she would have collapsed to the floor of the tent. He caught her and lowered her carefully so they both were on the furs.
“How could I lose them? I didn’t even know.” Her cries were like someone gouged him repeatedly with jagged edges, each one hurting more than the last.
Arms wrapped tightly around her, he pressed his lips to her forehead and rocked them slowly back and forth. “You didn’t lose them, Lera. They were taken from you…from us.”
“But—”
“No, you don’t get to second-guess. This is a horrible loss, for both of us.” He stared at the fire burning in the pit. “I love you, Lera. Always have and I always will.”
She shuddered and cried some more. He held her in silence, allowing her to cry as much as she needed to. Hell, he felt like crying. To lose not one but two children before he even had a chance to know them. How did one carry on from that? He held her until she cried herself out and was asleep.
Laying her down, he covered her and made it to the door before his name fell from her lips in her sleep. Banking the fire, he slipped in behind her and held her close, allowing her familiar feel and scent to help begin to heal his wounded heart.
A Love For Lera (Haikon) Page 25
