I could not control my own fate.
Twenty minutes of hell later, Damian walked into the room without announcement.
Oliver stepped aside once he realized who it was.
“Your Royal Highness,” he said, his mouth tense.
“Fuck the formalities, and tell me,” I barked.
“They agreed that women should be able to inherit. That will pass into law.”
I let go of the breath I’d been holding. Now women like my sisters would have the ability to rule on their own bloodline instead of their husband’s. They’d be valued just as much as I was.
“And the others?”
His face fell, and he delivered the news I’d always known would come.
Neither of the other two measures had passed.
Charlotte would have to be my queen.
Willa
“It’s gorgeous,” I said, running my hands over the fabric of the exquisite ballgown that could’ve come straight out of a period movie set.
“Have you decided?” Jameson asked, raking his fingers through his wild hair.
I worried my lip between my teeth, glancing out the window of the suite he’d secured just for me. “I still can’t believe you found me.”
He sighed. “It wasn’t easy. Xander had exhausted every possible resource until he realized you didn’t want to be found.”
“And you?” I asked, the guilt and grief and hope gnawing at my frayed nerves.
Jameson’s eyes flickered with that hint of mischief that seemed ever present. “I have resources Xander doesn’t.” A smirk shaped his full lips, and I shook my head.
“A secretary, no doubt,” I said, a little laughter in my tone. “At Laura’s agency.”
“I’ll never tell.” He winked and shoved his hands in his pants pockets as he came to stand next to me. “You came all this way,” he said. “And you won’t tell me if you’ll actually attend the ball or not.”
“I don’t want to hurt him.” I smoothed my hand over my tummy but quickly dropped it when Jameson’s gaze lingered there. He arched an eyebrow but I turned my back to him to collect myself.
“You’re hurting each other,” he said, and I sank into the chair in the corner of the suite. I’d flown across the country, again—after Laura had massively researched that it wouldn’t hurt the baby in any way. But I wasn’t sure if I could bring myself to see him. What I carried inside me…it could ruin him.
“I know this is a shit situation,” he continued. “But…fuck, can you blame me, Willa? He’s my brother, my best friend. Hell, we’re twins. He’s miserable and it’s making me miserable right alongside him.”
“I ruined his life.”
Jameson kneeled in front of me to catch my gaze. “You exploded it,” he said, smirking. “I’ve been with him since birth, and I’d never seen him as happy, as content, or as strong when he was with you. You altered him, Willa. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I tracked you down and begged you to get on a plane. He needs to see you.” He tilted my chin up, forcing me to meet his eyes. “Even if only to get closure. The way you two left things…it’s eating away at you both.”
I nodded, swiping away the tears under my eyes. “I know. I’m sorry…I had to leave—”
“I don’t need your reasoning. I’ve ran away from more problems in my life than anyone. He deserves to know. If nothing else.” He stood and glanced at his watch. “They’ll be wondering where I am and why I’m not dressed.” He flashed me a soft smile. “I’ve put your name on the list…without Xander knowing,” he added quickly. “I know it’s selfish of me to place this on you…but he needs your strength, Willa. This will be the hardest announcement he’ll ever have to make, and it’s killing him.”
More tears pooled in my eyes as Jameson headed toward the door.
“Jaime,” I said, and the use of his family nick-name stopped him with his hand on the knob. “Thank you,” I said. “For…loving him the way you do. You’re a good man. And an even better brother.”
He gave me a slight nod before turning out the door.
An hour long shower, and some serious magical finger work, I was in the dress that was eighty percent skirts and twenty percent bodice. I slipped the damn heels on, and asked valet to call me a cab.
I can’t believe we’re doing this. I rubbed my hand over my belly, speaking inwardly as I had the past month. I already loved this child with all of my heart, and now we were headed toward its father with no way of knowing what to do or say or how to tell him.
A father my baby might never know.
Again the thought occurred to me to just give us both closure and leave him to his people, his kingdom. It shot ice through my heart, but I wanted to do what was best for him.
Jameson says he’s miserable.
But wouldn’t he be more miserable knowing he had me but not wholly? I’d be in his life, we’d be in his life, but only in the shadows. In secret. Always living in fear over who would discover us and the true heritage of our child.
By the time the palace guards had waved me inside, I still didn’t have a clue what to do.
My heels clicked against the marble floors as I followed the crowds of people toward the main ballroom, my throat closing with each step I took. My heart raced, threatening to burst from my chest with the simple anticipation of even setting eyes on Xander again. Just seeing him…God, it would both crush and revitalize me.
The ballroom was packed with people dressed in their finest, something that never seemed out of place in the palace. Me, on the other hand…
I stuck to the back, my eyes scanning the crowd for Xander but coming up blank. Jameson was near the front of the room where a dais was planted on a stage. He caught my gaze, relief pooling through his eyes as he smiled at me.
I shrugged, gripping the folds of my dress for support.
I found a place to hold up the back wall, determined not to be seen. I wouldn’t cause a scene. Not here. Not with so much at stake for Xander.
A sharp gasp I knew all too well jolted my entire body.
“What are you doing here?” Xander’s mother whispered as she clicked over to me, her own gown beautiful and elegant and all the things I wasn’t.
I parted my lips but quickly closed them. Composure. Don’t make a scene.
“Are you hell bent on destroying him?” She kept her tone a whisper, now so close to me I could smell her minty breath.
“No,” I said, and lowered my voice when a man in full military dress glanced at the two of us. “No, of course not.”
The queen narrowed her gaze at me, and for a second I swear I saw sadness in them. It was gone as quickly as it came. “What will it take for you to leave my son alone?”
A sharp burst of pain sliced through my chest, and tears pooled in my eyes. Damn hormones. I flicked the moisture away, taking a deep breath.
“Money?” she continued. “What is your price?”
I gaped at her. “You still think I’m after a crown and a title?” Fire coursed through my veins but I kept a lock on my anger.
“A million?” She asked. “Would that do it? Two?”
I rolled my eyes. “Pardon me, Your Majesty, but are you fucking serious?”
She straightened her shoulders, tilting her chin up just slightly. “Five million.”
I shook my head. “I don’t need nor do I want your money. No amount, not five million, not one hundred million, could stop me from loving your son. I would take Xander in any way I could get him—broke and living in a box under a bridge, or wealthy and living in a palace…even one I’m not welcome in.” I sighed. “Even knowing I’m not allowed to hold his heart as my own, even after all the pain this situation has caused us, I’m still here. I’m still here. Every jab you’ve thrown, or the paparazzi, or fucking parliament and the Prime Minister…I’m right here.” I sucked in a sharp breath, the realization of my decision crystal clear in my head and my heart. “I adore your son. I love him more than I knew was possible for one person to l
ove another, and I have no intentions of leaving him when he needs me. I will not cost him his crown, I will not risk his kingdom, but I will be here for the man that he is. I will be whatever he needs me to be…even if that means being a ghost in his life. Because my love for him is that strong.” I pressed my lips together. “But it’s his decision what he wants. Not yours, or a council’s, or the family. It’s his. And I’ll support whatever it is he decides.”
A lone tear trailed down the queen’s cheek, and the sight of the emotion stunned me.
She flicked it away, a small smile on her lips. “Well,” she said, folding her hands in front of her. “I’m glad to hear it.”
“What?” I stared at her, dumbfounded.
She pursed her lips, a slight lift to her shoulders. “I wouldn’t want anything less for my son. I know that may be hard to believe, but can you blame me? I had to know.”
“Had to know what?”
She sighed, glancing toward the dais before returning focus to me. “Know that you were worth whatever may come next.” She gave me a nod and then spun on her heels, gracefully clicking toward the stage.
My heart swelled from the exchange but it was quickly replaced with sheer terror and excitement.
Xander.
He stepped onto the stage, the weight of the world on his shoulders. Everything in my soul screamed to rush to him, soothe that stress, let him know we’d find a way to make this work, but I kept my feet firmly planted.
I couldn’t cause a scene.
I couldn’t ruin one more thing for him.
I gripped the folds of my dress skirts, needing something to hang on to, and silently sent up a message.
I’m here. We’re here. We’re with you. Always.
Xander
The party was in full swing, the massive ballroom at capacity with members of parliament, their spouses, foreign dignitaries, and select members of the press.
It was supposed to be one of the best nights of my life—the announcement of my official engagement, and beginning of my unofficial reign.
Instead, I was heartbroken. Leaning back against the wall in the hallway that led to the ballroom, I nursed a scotch and ignored my mother’s every attempt to talk to me.
Oliver watched over me from a distance, giving me the space I needed.
Sophie approached, and I didn’t miss the way Oliver’s eyes followed her the exact socially acceptable amount of time before facing forward again.
Her light blue silk gown was beautiful, graceful, and perfect for her station. I knew that somewhere Brie was probably trying to sneak into the party in leather pants.
“Xander,” she said softly, leaning back against the wall next to me.
“Soph,” I said before taking another swig.
“They’re asking if you’re ready for the announcement.”
“Ready to tell the world that I’m going to marry a woman I love like a sister? That no matter what happens, I’ll forever imagine it’s Willa in my bed? Sure. Why not.” I pushed off the wall, and she clasped my hand.
“Xander. Stop.”
I met her soft, sorrowful eyes. I hated seeing my sister in pain, let alone pain on my behalf.
“You have always been the most responsible of us. You do the right thing, you sacrifice so much for us. I knew it broke your heart to leave your law practice when Daddy died. I know what your plans were. But Xander, there’s something to be said for being happy. For thinking of yourself for even a moment,” she ended on a whisper.
“I love you, Soph. You are all that is right and good with our monarchy, our country, our world. But there’s no getting out of this. I have to marry Charlotte. I’m the heir. It’s my duty.”
She tugged on my sleeve, more forceful than I’d ever seen her. “I’m going to say this one time, and then never speak of it again.”
My eyebrows shot up, more at her tone than anything. “Yes?”
“You’re not the only heir.”
Her eyes bore into mine until I understood what she was suggesting.
I kissed her forehead and walked toward the ballroom, ready to meet my fate, her words echoing inside my head. Would my siblings face this choice? It didn’t matter who Jameson wed, but I’d make damn sure that Sophie and Brie were allowed their own choices. No arranged marriages. No treaties. Fuck that. I was the last Wyndham this would happen to.
“Xander?” Charlotte asked, waiting for me next to the door. Her dress was cream, sophisticated, and elegant, just like she was. Her hair was swept up. She looked every bit the princess she would become.
God, I wished I could love her like she deserved.
“I’m so sorry, Charlotte,” I told her, pressing a kiss to her hand.
She gifted me with a sad smile. “It’s okay. We both knew this day would come.”
“And so they win. The Anti-Monarchists hoping I’ll bring the monarchy to its knees, the traditionalists keeping their rigid rules. Everyone wins except us.”
“Maybe we’re not important in the scheme of things. It’s the nature of our birth, right? To serve the people? Ever the reluctant politicians.”
“How can you resign yourself to a loveless marriage?” I’d asked myself that same question a hundred times.
Her face fell, a look of pure anguish crossing her features before she smoothed her features. Then her chin rose as she met my gaze.
“I tell myself that I’ll be married to one of my best friends. There are so many with less.”
“When we could have had it all?”
“We’ll make the best of it,” she shrugged as if she was convincing herself, but she didn’t fool me. She was as miserable as I was. “And Xander, I’m the one who is sorry. I know how deeply you love Willa.”
I swallowed and forced a nod, unable to say anything else. I tucked her hand into my elbow and walked forward as the footmen opened the ballroom doors.
The music immediately died.
“His Royal Highness, Prince Alexander and the Duchess of Corbin, Lady Charlotte Carlisle.”
I escorted her into the ballroom, my future flashing before my eyes. State dinners. Matters of parliament. Flawless Charlotte with a wrecked me. My eyes raked over the crowd quickly, just like I knew they would always do. I would always look for Willa. I’d look for her in every crowd, every dream, every fantasy in the bed we’d shared. By doing this, I wasn’t just condemning me to a sham of a marriage, but Charlotte as well.
We both knew it.
I left Charlotte standing next to her parents, who had come all the way from the north of Elleston for this. Then I took my mother’s arm and walked her up the stairs to the dais, where she’d stand beside me to make the announcement.
In a breach of protocol, she grasped both of my arms and kissed my cheek. “I love you. You may doubt anything in your life besides that truth. But Xander, be happy. No matter what that means.”
Confusion puckered my forehead, but she simply caressed my face as I pulled away, a graceful smile on her face and tears in her eyes. This was everything she’d planned for me, for our country. Was she really saying…
“Go,” she urged toward the microphone.
I placed my hands on the podium, my fingers flexing on the edges of the polished mahogany, and looked over my black-tie attendees. The witnesses to my execution.
“Thank you for joining us tonight,” I said, my voice strong and sure. “As you all know, the laws of our country force me to take a bride.”
A murmur raced through the crowd.
“And though I had earlier told Parliament that it was a barbaric custom, well, the law still states that I must be wed to a bride of noble birth in order to ascend to the throne of Elleston.” I turned to Charlotte, who sent me a shaky smile.
How could I do this to her? To one of my closest friends? Didn’t she deserve love? The same passion I shared with Willa?
Hell, how could I do this to Willa? She’d only left because there was no hope for a future between us, I knew that. But what if t
here was? What if I could offer her my heart, my hand, and my name? Wasn’t that worth the chance?
An awkward silence had taken hold while I pondered my next words.
“I love my country. Our land, our traditions, our people are truly a part of my soul. But what good is a soul without a heart? Wouldn’t it be empty?”
Indescribable joy filled my chest as if my heart was cheering at the acknowledgment. Yes. This was right. This was the only way.
I smiled wide for the first time in a month, feeling lighter than ever before.
“A king who leads without his heart is hardly worth the title. And your king will be worthy, I swear it.”
A cheer went through the crowd.
My gaze snapped to where my siblings stood. Sophie petite, but graceful next to Brie, who wore a strapless black dress and leaned back against the wall...and Jameson.
My brother. My best friend. My twin.
His attention was on something toward the back of the room, but sensing my pause, he turned back, and we locked eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I told him softly, but the mic carried my words.
He uncrossed his arms and tilted his head in question, not knowing his fate was already sealed.
Feeling seven feet tall, I looked out over the massive ballroom.
“Ladies and gentlemen, members of the aristocracy and parliament, friends and family. I, Prince Alexander, Crown Prince of Elleston, hereby announce my engagement to the only woman I have ever—or will ever—love: Ms. Willa Collins.”
A collective gasp went up through the ballroom. Heads swung as they all looked at each other, and I saw more than one cell phone appear. The few reporters we’d allowed in were almost throwing elbows to get to the front of the room.
“Naturally I’ll have to find out just exactly where she went when you guys all but ran her out of our country, but I’m hoping that once she sees this blasted all over the internet, she’ll appear.”
“Xander!” The sweetest voice I’ve ever heard called out from the back of the ballroom.
The Crown: A Modern-Day Fairytale Romance Page 18
