Danny visibly fought to regain control of his emotions, “There’s nothing out there for you but misery. And let me tell you something, Nick. I’m going to be there when you finally break.”
I leaned into him. “I’ve already been broken. But you know what? I put myself back together. You know what’s different now, though?”
Danny just glared at me.
“All those broken pieces have edges now, fucker,” I growled. “Now get the fuck out of my face.”
A slow smile began to grow on Danny’s lips. The grin lit his eyes and I felt some of my confidence drain. Remaining silent, he reached up and patted my cheek affectionately and then turned and left. His expression hovered like a ghost in my mind and I shivered despite myself.
“Crazy bastard.”
8
Peter returned not long after Danny’s departure. He ushered me down a hallway, informing me that Ryder was ready to see me. As we walked, I took note of my surroundings, searching for possible exits. We passed a few closed doors, but nothing that looked like it led to the outside. As far as I could tell, the big double doors were the only way in or out of the temple.
More bowls of fire hung overhead as I followed Peter, our footsteps echoing off the plain stone walls. From what I could deduce, I figured we were in the living quarters. We passed a couple people, all of them throwing me a wary glance. Most were in robes, eyes somber and faces grim. They didn’t look afraid, but there was a hollowness to them that unnerved me like they had seen things that still whispered from the corners of their minds.
Peter led me around a corner where we stopped before a plain wood door. That ashy smell seemed stronger here and I felt my eyes water.
“Ryder awaits you. Behave yourself and answer truthfully. If it is the will of The Pig, he will see your intentions are pure.”
“Ok, thanks,” I said feeling slightly nervous.
Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself that I was growing closer to finding Jess. I reached for the handle and pushed the door open. Immediately, I gagged as a hot wave of stinking air rushed past me. It smelled like decay and burning rot. Gathering myself, I walked inside and heard Peter shut the door behind me.
Sitting before me was the fattest man I had ever seen. He was completely naked and slouched upright on a filthy bed, his back against the headboard. His stomach avalanched between his legs and pooled across his knees, his skin streaked with angry stretch marks.
His face was a bloated mess, a drooping water balloon with eyes and a mouth. A patch of dark hair rested at the peak of his skull like a tiny cap.
Next to the bed was a table littered with bizarre looking food, mostly meat. A fireplace roared in the corner and to my horror, I saw it was littered with charred human bones. My unease grew as I realized there was another person in the room. A woman.
She was chained to the bedpost by the neck, a naked mess of blood and dirt. Her eyes were glazed over, lost in her own miserable existence. Drool dripped from the corner of her mouth and slid down her naked breasts, leaving a trail through the grime that coated her body.
And that’s when I realized part of her shoulder was missing. It looked like an entire chunk had been lopped off and blood poured from the open wound.
I physically recoiled at the sight of her and then my heart sank as I realized who it was.
It was Megan.
My stomach crawled up my throat and I had to fight against a tide of emotion that suddenly rose in my chest like a cold moon over an ocean. I clenched my fists and stood there, fighting against anger and empathy that she had been subjugated to such suffering yet again.
The massive man on the bed, Ryder, motioned me forward. As I cautiously advanced, Ryder picked up a small knife from the bed and casually sliced a piece of Megan’s shoulder away. He licked his lips and popped the flesh into his mouth like a piece of bloody cheese.
Megan’s shriek stopped me dead in my tracks as she leaned forward, howling, shaking in her chains. My heart hammered against my chest and I fought back an overwhelming urge to help her. She had gone from Muck to this. A new nightmare to bring her fresh agony. I gritted my teeth behind my lips. I convinced myself that doing something rash would only get us both killed. Just breathe and be smart.
“Want a bite?” Ryder asked, his voice a bubbling chorus of chuckling fat.
“I’ll pass,” I said weakly.
Ryder rolled his massive shoulders in a shrug. “Suit yourself.”
I said nothing, swallowing my urges.
“Peter tells me you’re interested in joining us.”
I nodded, face pale, eyes never leaving Megan. She didn’t look at me, didn’t look at anything. She sagged against her restraints, blood and saliva dripping down her body.
Ryder reached out and tapped her head with his knife. “Does this bother you?”
I swallowed hard, “I guess there’s a first for everything.”
Ryder chuckled and it sent waves rippling down his sloping belly. “Good answer, I like that. What’s your name?”
“Nick.”
“Well Nick, what makes you think we want you here?”
The brashness of the question cut through the turmoil I found myself wading through and I stood a little straighter and cleared my throat. “Why wouldn’t you want another soldier in your ranks?”
“Deflecting a question with a question,” Ryder mused, “Is that why you’ve come? To become my soldier?”
“If that’s what you need me to be.”
Ryder ran a finger across his chins. “You know what we do here? How we breed humans and Pig Born together?”
“I’ve heard some.”
“And what do you think about that? Why do you think we do it?”
I tried to remain focused on Ryder, blocking Megan’s pain from my mind as best I could. “I think you do it because you want to elevate the human race to mirror The Pig as best you can. I think that it’s the best way we can honor it.”
“Hmm,” Ryder said clicking the blade of the knife against his teeth. “Not bad. An obviously constructed answer, but I can appreciate that.”
His eyes never left me as he reached out with his knife and dragged the blade through Megan’s shoulder once again. Her screams rattled me to the bone and I felt myself begin to sweat, anger and horror growing hotter in my chest.
Ryder held the flesh on the blade and brought it dripping to his mouth. He slurped it up and lazily chewed, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth.
Megan’s eyes remained on the floor as she wept and I was thankful. I didn’t want her to know it was me, watching her and doing nothing. Christ knows I wanted to. As Ryder’s lips smacked and slurped down his snack, I found myself loathing the man. It wasn’t hard.
“You look like you want to say something,” Ryder mused, licking dangerously along the edge of the knife, cleaning the blood from the steel. “Go ahead, don’t be shy. Speak your mind.”
I tried to swallow the words, but Megan’s whimpers brought them to the surface, “I find your choice in edibles rather disgusting.”
Ryder seemed unaffected by my comment, now cleaning his teeth with the tip of the knife, “When you grow as hungry as I do, your appreciation for new things expands in unexpected ways. Have you ever eaten human flesh before?”
I shook my head, appalled.
The gluttonous man flicked the knife with lightning fast precision and before I could blink, Megan was screaming and Ryder was extending a chunk of her shoulder for me to take. I stepped away, eyes wide, shaking my head viciously. Ryder shook the streaking meat at me, goading me, a look of sick delight pasted across his piggy face.
“Go ahead, take it. Have a bite. She’s delicious.”
My stomach rolled. “No, I don’t want it. I couldn’t.”
Ryder grinned, his cheeks balling under his eyes. “Yes you can. Just a bite.”
I swallowed hard. “No.”
Ryder shifted on the bed, the wood groaning in protest, “Nick….I’m no
t asking. Eat it.” His voice had taken on a dangerous tone that told me I didn’t have a choice. He was testing me. He wanted to see how far I would go to be a part of their movement.
I shot a look at Megan who was huddled into herself, clutching her shoulder. Tears fell from her face onto the dirty floor. My eyes rose from her to the piece of dripping flesh that hung above her from the edge of the knife. My heart raced and my pulse quickened as I stepped forward. This was for Jess, everything I did here, every awful horrible thing was for her. I reminded myself of that as I took the slick meat between my fingers.
It was warm to the touch and I fought off the urge to fling it into the corner, away from me. I could smell her skin, the blood and sweat emitting a nauseous concoction that brought bile to the back of my throat.
Ryder urged me on, his face alight, “Go ahead. Slide it between your lips and onto your tongue. Allow your taste buds to ignite with her flavor, completely raw and untainted by fire. It is the purest meat you’ll ever consume.”
Slowly, I raised the chunk of flesh and placed it in my mouth. I squeezed my eyes shut as I chewed, teeth squishing against the meat, the consistency disturbingly gummy. All I tasted was blood and I gagged once before I managed to swallow it all down, gasping as it descended into my stomach.
My eyes were watering as I opened them to see Ryder beaming from ear to ear, a look of gleeful anticipation on his face.
“Well?! What do you think?”
I steadied my breathing and tried to forgive myself for what I had just done. “A little raw for my tastes.”
Ryder clapped his hands together laughing uproariously. “I like you, Nick! You got spunk! I’m a little disappointed in your palette, but perhaps the taste will grow on you, yeah?”
“I hated sushi when I was a kid,” I said trying to mask my misery and disgust. “I kind of like it now.”
Ryder waved his arms about, “Well, there you go! Maybe I’ll have you back in here for a snack now and again.”
The thought made me want to retch, but I pushed the conversation back towards the reason for my being there, “Does that mean you’ll have me? I can stay and be a part of your temple?”
“I think I’m willing to give you a chance,” Ryder said, “if you’re willing to learn and abide by our rules. I want to get to know you a little more, Nick. There’s something about you…something I can’t put my finger on. Something under that spunk.”
Yeah, it’s my barely controllable urge to murder you, I thought.
“Peter is taking some of the new recruits to The Barn soon. I want you to go with them. I’m going to place you under his watch. He’s our longest running elder and I trust his judgment. He will observe your dedication to us, The Hooves of the Pig, and report your progress back to me. After some time, if you’ve proven yourself worthy, we will induct you as one of us.”
I bowed my head slightly. “Thank you. You won’t regret it.”
“Be sure I don’t,” Ryder said turning his attention back to Megan. “Leave me now. Peter will take you to your quarters and inform you when they will depart. He will return you to me when he has made his decision.”
I bowed again and turned to go, quickly pushing out of the room as Megan began to scream behind me. The door closed at my back, her cries assaulting my ears, and I found myself trembling with helpless rage.
It was then that I vowed to kill Ryder before I left.
The ease in which I made the decision should have worried me, but I didn’t have time to fret over the state of my mental being. You can only bend for so long before the inevitable break and when you do, you don’t have time to worry about the pieces you lose in the process.
Peter was waiting for me outside the room. His hood was down and the lines of his face were deep with impatience.
“Come with me; I’ll show you to your room,” he said walking down the dim hallway without turning to see if I was following.
I jogged after him, the sound of Megan’s pain fading. I pushed it aside, for now, suppressing the helplessness clawing at my heart. The smooth stone walls twisted and turned, leading us deeper into the crude temple. It was bigger than I had first imagined, a stretching maze of doorways and similar looking halls. I tried my best to keep track of the turns we made until finally, we stopped before a simple wooden door.
“This is another brother’s room, but he’s away for a little while. You’ll stay here until he returns,” Peter said.
“Ryder mentioned going to see The Pig. When do we depart?” I asked.
Peter sniffed, “Aren’t you eager? Can’t say I blame you though. Going to see The Pig…there’s nothing like it. I’ll let you know when we leave, don’t worry. As for now, you’re free to roam the temple. The only area off limits to you is the basement. Do not go down there.”
“Is that where you breed the Pig Born and humans?” I pressed.
Peter nodded. “Among other things. Ryder has put you under my watch which means he trusts you enough to keep you around. Which means I’ll offer you the same level of trust. Don’t break it. You break my trust and you’re out, understand?”
“Sure.”
“Good,” he continued, “now feel free to get some rest before we leave. Or if you’d like you can head back to the sanctuary for some quiet reflection. Up to you. I’m not going to dictate your every action, but I will be watching.”
“I’ll behave,” I lied.
As I turned to open the door, Peter placed a hand on my shoulder, “Nick. This road before you is a long one. You’ve been placed under my care I want to make sure you reach the end. I was hard on you earlier because I had to be. If Ryder has given you his blessing…know that you have mine as well.”
I don’t want your fucking blessing, I thought, pasting a smile to my lips.
“I appreciate you saying that, Peter.”
He offered me a small smile before turning and leaving. I exhaled for the first time since I arrived. This was going to be harder than I thought. If Jess was here, she would be in the basement. The one place I wasn’t allowed to go.
Wonderful.
I opened the door in front of me and walked into my new living quarters. A single bowl of flame ignited the room, casting shadows over every surface. A small bed was shoved into the corner and sitting beside it was a small desk and chair. The floor had some kind of grass rug draped across the cold stone. I padded across it and went to the bed, sitting heavily, fatigue returning in my isolation.
I dragged my hands over my face, allowing the tension to drain from my shoulders. I wondered how long I could keep this charade up. There were a lot of them and only one of me. I wished I still had my ax.
I heard a muffled cacophony of voices outside my door, but the conversation passed further down the hall and disappeared. Who exactly were these freaks? What had they gone through to buy in to such barbaric rituals? What morals had they been stripped of?
Men need purpose. When they are denied or stripped of that, what remains is an aimless shell of anger and violence. Instead of working to gain back their purpose they build something new in which to define themselves. This new platform regrows the ego and straightens the bended knee. It poisons the mind with contempt because now they define themselves as self-made and they look upon their past purpose as a chain that once held them back. Violence and aggression curl around this new heart and whispers domination into every beat, filling every vein.
Men with self-created purpose is a dangerous thing and I felt its jaws all around me. I stood up, shaking the feeling out of my fingers. I didn’t want to be a part of this farce. I wanted to grab something sharp and go hunt for Jess. She was here, just beneath my feet. What was she doing right at this moment? Was she crying? Screaming? What were these monsters making her do?
“Stop it,” I whispered, pacing, “you can’t think about that. It’s just going to make you do something stupid. Be patient. Don’t get caught. Stay focused. It won’t be long now.”
After twenty minutes of
fidgeting I decided to go back to the sanctuary. That’s where I had seen the stairs leading to the lower level. Maybe I’d piece together something that could help me. Mind set, I opened the door and began navigating the twisting hallways back to the entrance. I passed a handful of robed figures, all lost in some kind of philosophical conversation. I paid them no attention and they returned my interest in kind.
The walls and doors began to blend together, a wash of gray stone and dim light. I took a wrong turn somewhere and had to double back. After another ten minutes I finally exited the labyrinth and entered the expansive sanctuary. I spotted a few men huddled over the pews in silent prayer and I quietly went to the back of the room and stood by the massive double doors. I gripped the top of the pew in front of me and tried to act inconspicuous. No one seemed to pay me any attention. I watched as a group of three walked to the front and knelt down in front of the altar, placing something on its flat surface. I tried not to focus too much on what it was. The three joined hands and began to pray, their whispers rising like smoke toward the ceiling.
I turned my head and looked to my left at the stairs leading down to the basement. It was nothing more than a square hole carved into the floor. Wide steps led down into the depths, twisting out of sight at a sharp right angle. No noise came from below. I didn’t see anyone guarding the entrance, but my imagination conjured what lay around that corner halfway down.
I slid my hands along the pew, inching closer. My ears were tuned to pick up any noise that might be coming from below. I don’t know what I expected, maybe the howl of women or Jess screaming my name, but the dark hole remained silent.
I quickly surveyed the room to make sure no one was watching me. My heart was galloping in my chest and a trickle of sweat caressed my spine. Should I do this now? Would I get a better chance?
My knuckles turned white against the pew and my eyes darted across the sanctuary, fighting internally with myself.
Go, go, go, do it! She’s down there! No one’s looking!
I bit my lip, breathing hard. NO! It’s too soon! They’ll catch me!
The Black Farm Page 11
