I can hear her – Joss – in the outer office, talking to Maggie, my secretary. Someone else who’s been here a long time. It seems this school has a knack of holding onto its staff, and I like that. It gives the place a sense of continuity I don’t think I’ve experienced anywhere else before. Maybe I’ve just moved around too much, never settled in one place for long enough. That’s about to change. It has to.
“Excuse me, Mr. Sloane, there’s a call for you.”
I look up from my laptop as Maggie pokes her head around the door. “Who is it?”
“Jessica Franklin? She says she’s from a law firm called Lambert, Gray and Davies. I can take a message, if you’re busy.”
“No. No, it’s fine. Put her through.”
I wait until Maggie’s left; wait until I hear the click that tells me she’s put the call through to me before I sit back and pick up the handset.
“Is something wrong, Jessica?”
“You always sound so wary when you speak to me, do you know that?”
“Maybe that’s because you’re a lawyer.”
“And you don’t trust lawyers, right?”
“Not all of them.”
“That includes me, though. Huh?”
I smile, drumming my fingertips lightly on the surface of my desk. “Is there a problem?” I ignore her comment. I’m not sure she was even looking for a response.
“No problem, no. But I am gonna need a signature. Can I email you some documents? Get you to print them off and mail them back to me?”
“If that’s necessary.”
“It is.”
“Then email them over. When do you need them by?”
“As soon as. We’re close to the end now, Connor.”
I sigh quietly and sit forward, rubbing my forehead. “Good. I’ll get them back to you within the next day or so.”
“Thanks. And Connor? It’s going to be okay. We’re going to win this.”
I end the call and sit back, twisting my chair so I look outside, onto the now deserted yard and school garden.
This school isn’t a challenge to me, I don’t need another one of those right now.
This school is my escape.
7
Alex
“Hey. No class this morning?”
I look up as Joss throws a pile of books down onto the table before going over to the kitchen to switch on the kettle. “Next period. Do you want one?” She holds up a jar of coffee and I shake my head.
“No. I’m fine. I’m out of here in five, I need a quick word with Gareth about next week’s Year Nine maths tests before my next lesson. You got a busy day?”
“Busier than I thought it was going to be.”
She sits down opposite me, taking a sip of her coffee and I watch as she closes her eyes, lets the caffeine hit take hold.
“You okay?”
She opens her eyes and smiles at me. My best friend. A woman who’s been a part of my life since the day she was born.
Our parents had been – still are – the best of friends. They’d all grown up together, in a small village on the outskirts of Gothenburg, Sweden, where they all still live. It’s where Joss and I were born, less than a year apart. We grew up together. Went to school together. Did everything, together. We were mistaken for brother and sister all the time, because we were always so close. Closer than most siblings, our parents used to say. Our relationship was just – I don’t know – special. We liked being together. We loved each other, like brother and sister.
When it became clear that we both wanted to become teachers, and to expand our horizons a little, we travelled to the UK together. Worked our way through university, together; started working at Millers Bridge. Together. Our lives have been forever interlocked – Josslyn Engström and Alex Olsson. Best friends.
“I’m fine.” She takes another sip of coffee, dropping her gaze as she flicks open her notebook, flipping her pen deftly between the fingers of her right hand. “Connor’s just offered me the Deputy Head position.”
“Seriously?”
“You say that like you’re surprised.”
“I’m not surprised. Sorry… Are you going to accept it?”
“Of course I am! I’d be crazy not to.”
“You told Sam yet?”
She looks at me, only slightly raising her head, it’s a hooded glance. Have I said something wrong?
“Why’s everyone so concerned about what Sam might think? This isn’t Sam’s career we’re talking about, it’s mine.”
I hold up my hands in surrender. “Hey, back down, missy. Drop the defensive shit, all right? I didn’t mean it like that.”
She looks back down at her notebook. “I know you didn’t. Forget it. I had one too many glasses of wine last night, I’m probably still slightly hungover.”
I click my tongue in disapproval as I gather my things together and stand up. “What kind of message does that send out, Mrs Coburn? Turning up at school still inebriated?”
“Piss off!”
But she was smiling when she said that, although her eyes were still down on her work. She looks so much prettier when she smiles. She has a nice smile. My beautiful best friend.
“Okay, well, I’ll do just that, then. You have a good morning, all right? Might catch you at lunch.”
I leave the staff room, walk out into the corridor, which is eerily quiet, as it should be during lesson time. But then the bell signalling the end of first period rings out, filling the air with its shrill tone and I’m suddenly swamped by students and staff all making their way to their next lesson.
I push through the crowd, accompanied by the sound of chatter and laughter and mobile phones going off, despite the fact we tell them to switch the bloody things off in school. I love the familiarity of this job. This place. I love the fact I get to work with my best friend, every day. I love that this place feels like an extended family, there’s so much of our lives wrapped up in it.
Out of the corner of my eye I catch sight of Danny, my eighteen-year-old son leaning back against the wall next to the canteen entrance talking to a group of his friends, and the second he sees me it’s quite obvious he knows he’s been caught out.
“Shouldn’t you be somewhere else, kiddo?”
I’m not going to lecture him in front of his mates, I’m committed to being a cool dad, seeing as his mother isn’t around anymore. She prefers the company of a Danish pastry chef called Kristoff, which only confirms the fact she has a thing for Scandinavians. She’d always liked the fact I was Swedish – that I was fluent in the language. That I had an accent. Joss has an accent, too. She’s also fluent in Swedish. Both of us were brought up bilingual, it’s just another thing that keeps us close. Our history.
Anyway, my whore of a wife – sorry, ex-wife – she lives somewhere just outside of Copenhagen now. I haven’t heard from her in over two years, neither has Danny. It’s better that way, she was too disruptive an influence on his life when she was in it. Maybe we got together too young, had Danny too soon, I’d barely graduated university when he was born. I’d only just started work here, at Millers Bridge, when I became a dad. But he’s been the best thing that ever happened to me, my son. And all I know is that he’s calmed down a lot since his mother did her disappearing act. Sometimes I wonder if it would’ve been better if she’d fucked off a little earlier, but I try not to dwell on the past.
“I’ve got a free period.”
He fixes me with a look that all parents who teach in their child’s school would receive. But he hasn’t just got his dad working here, he’s also got his Aunty Joss and Uncle Sam, because that’s how he sees them. As family. We may not be blood related, but we’re as good as. This place, it’s practically a family business.
“Free periods are supposed to be for studying, Dan. A-level year, remember?”
I leave it at that and walk away. He’s a good kid at heart. He knows what he should be doing. And so do I. I think, maybe, I’ve always known…
&nb
sp; 8
Sam
“Hey, Mr Coburn.”
I look up and smile as Savannah Sanderson approaches. I’ve known this girl for most of her life. Joss and I got together not long after she was born, her mum, Summer, is one of Joss’s closest friends. Summer Sanderson. The bohemian one of the group. All tousled dark curls and wide brown eyes. Savvi’s almost the polar opposite of her mother with her long blonde hair and cool-blue eyes. But that probably has a lot to do with her father. He’s a Norwegian artist, lives in a place called Lofoten up in the Arctic Circle in a little red one-storey house amongst some of the most stunning scenery I’ve ever seen, judging by the pictures Savvi’s shown us. He spends his days painting, apparently. Savvi doesn’t see all that much of Stefan, in person, but they talk a lot, via Skype. She’s been over to see him a few times, but I guess his love of isolation and the very real chance of seeing the northern lights on a regular basis doesn’t hold all that much interest for her. And he was never a huge part of her life, to be honest. It was all a bit of a festival fling, according to Summer. Nothing more than a quick bunk up in a tent, from what I can gather. Still, at least the bloke acknowledges his daughter’s existence, which is more than can be said for Danny’s mother. She seems to have developed child-related amnesia since she fucked off to Denmark. There’s a lot of Scandinavian-related shit going on in our family, actually, now I come to think of it.
“Hey, Savvi.”
She leans back against the wall beside me, sliding her phone into her pocket.
“How’s your mum?”
She turns her head to look at me, and I’m sure I can see the beginnings of a scowl there. “She’s fine.”
“Fine? Is that it?”
She shrugs, staring down at her boots as she scuffs the heel of one against the wall behind her. “You and Joss only saw her a couple of days ago. You know she’s fine.”
“I was just making polite conversation, Savvi. Anyway, shouldn’t you be over in the Sixth Form block?”
“I’ve got a class here in the main building next period.”
“And everything’s going all right, work-wise? You all ready for your exams?”
“They’re months away yet.”
“They’ll be here before you know it, kiddo.” I step away from the wall. It’s time for me to go now. I’ve got a Year Nine football match to prepare for. “Just make sure you’re not late for your next class, okay?”
“Yeah. Okay… Mr Coburn?”
I look at her, crossing my arms as I stand there in full-on teacher mode. Joss and I see a lot of this girl outside of school, she’s Joss’s Goddaughter. But in school we need to draw that line. Familiarity has to take a back seat.
“Are you and Joss – Mrs Coburn… you are coming to Mum’s book launch next week, aren’t you?”
I frown slightly, why’s she asking me that? She knows we’re coming. “You know we are. Now go on, get to class.”
She throws me a weak smile and hurries off towards the entrance to the main building. She’s grown into an extremely pretty young woman. Summer’s done an amazing job of raising her, on her own. She put her own happiness – she put relationships in general on the back burner in order to give her daughter all her attention, and it paid off. Savvi is a very self-aware, intelligent, independent young woman. She knows her own mind, knows what she wants, and I have no doubt that she will achieve great things in her life. She’s a good student, one of the best, slated to get excellent grades in her A-levels. But with the prospect of Savvi leaving for university in September, I can’t help wondering whether it’s time her mum started thinking about her own life now. Her own happiness.
It’s hard not to care about people you consider part of your family. Summer and Savannah are part of our family. And I care about them.
Both of them…
9
Joss
“You have to go out to discuss you becoming Deputy Head?”
I look over at Sam as I slip on my heels, checking my reflection in the mirror. “Have you got a problem with that?”
He shakes his head, leaning back against the dressing-table. “No. There’s no problem.”
I turn around and go over to him, quickly kissing him, falling against him as his hand slides onto the small of my back. “Connor’s so busy during school hours, Sam, that’s why we need to have this meeting now. After school.”
“I don’t understand why you have to have a meeting at all. It’s practically all done and dusted, isn’t it? The job’s yours.”
“He just wants to go over a few things. This is a big step for me, okay? And Connor, he’s only been at the school a few months, I kind of want to get to know the guy a little better.”
Sam smiles, and he kisses me again, his hand pushing me a little harder against him. “Do you have to go right now?” he murmurs, his mouth on mine, his breath falling into me. I love this man so much, I really do.
“I guess I can spare a few more minutes.”
He grins, and I feel him move his hand down, slide it up under my dress, his fingers pressing into my flesh. In one swift movement he’s turned me around, lifted me up onto the dressing-table. He slides my knickers off, spreads my legs with his knee, and before I can catch my breath he’s inside me. Sixteen years and we still fuck whenever we feel like it. We still fuck, period, and that in itself is an achievement for some people who’ve been together as long as we have. Sam Coburn has been my life. Millers Bridge Comprehensive has been my life.
Sam.
School.
They’re forever intertwined. My world. Both of them. They were all I ever wanted. All I’ve ever known.
All I’ve ever known…
10
Sam
The guilt hits me the second I push inside her. My wife. My beautiful, talented, popular wife. Everyone at Millers Bridge loves her. The staff. The students. The fucking secretaries, they all adore her. I adore her. I love her, so fucking much, that’s why I feel so guilty.
She comes just as I finish climaxing, her quiet sighs muffled as she buries her face in my shoulder, and I hold her, stay inside her until she’s done. She’s so graceful, when she comes. Languid stretches and quiet moans, so slow and beautiful even though her inner muscles grip me like a vice. Always. Without fail. And tonight was no exception. Even spontaneous sex with Joss is an incredibly erotic experience.
I pull out of her, step away from her and watch as she leans back, her hands palm-down on the countertop, her legs still open, she’s taking time to catch her breath. She’s giving me every reason why I still love her with every beat of my guilt-ridden heart. She’s my world, my reason for existing, yet, I’m hurting her. And I don’t even know why; why I’m doing what I’m doing I just know I can’t stop it. And I should. We should, stop it.
We should.
But I can’t.
Because I’m weak.
Joss made me weak.
It’s her fault, not mine.
Her fault.
Not mine…
11
Connor
I check my watch. She’s late. Does it matter? It’s only ten minutes, and it’s not like I’ve got anything to rush home for. Another night, alone, catching up on paperwork and arranging meetings with the L.E.A.
I look over towards the door, and then I see her, looking slightly flustered as she makes her way through the busy pub towards the table I’ve chosen by the window. It’s slightly quieter here, in the restaurant section of the pub. I thought discussing her Deputy Head position over dinner would be a nice idea. Give us both a chance to get to know each other a little better. I’m still getting to know all of my staff, but my new Deputy Head, I should know her better than anyone.
“I’m so sorry I’m late, Connor.”
She throws her bag onto the floor beside her chair and sits down opposite me, raking a hand through her hair as she takes a deep breath, she’s a little flushed.
“Did you drive here?” I ask, watching her as she takes
a sip of the wine I’d already ordered and poured.
She shakes her head, placing her glass back down on the table. “No. Sam dropped me off, I’ll get a taxi back. I felt like a few drinks.” She smiles, and I return it.
“I hope you don’t mind that I ordered the wine already. For a pub they actually have a pretty good selection here.”
“Know a lot about wine, do you?”
Her eyes meet mine, and that’s when I notice how blue they are. Her eyes. Cornflower blue, with just the tiniest hint of gold. “I know a little. But not enough to make me a wine snob.”
She laughs quietly, dropping her gaze, her fingers lightly gripping the stem of her glass. “The wine’s fine.”
I watch her for a second or two, I think she has something on her mind. Something other than this promotion I’ve just offered her. But I don’t know her well enough to pry, to ask questions. Like I said, I’m still in the process of building relationships with my staff.
“Are you ready to check out the menu? I thought we could order first, before we start talking.”
She looks up and smiles again, a slightly weaker smile this time. “Okay.”
She picks up the menu, staring down at it intently, her eyes scanning the small selection of dishes. We both opt for paté to start. For mains she orders chicken and salad, I go for steak. We also order another bottle of wine. Neither of us is driving.
“You’ve been at Millers Bridge for a long time, Joss. Your entire career. I’m surprised you haven’t made Deputy Head – I’m surprised you haven’t made Head by now, someone who’s been as loyal to the school as you.”
Tainted Love Page 2
